So you want to know how to be a sugar baby. Who better to learn from than a couple of experienced sugar babies who have already been there and done that?
Whether you’re a college student wanting to graduate to a debt-free life, a career woman who wants to elevate her lifestyle, an entrepreneur who needs connections and a financial boost, or just a regular person who wants more sweet luxuries in your life, you’re curious about how to be a sugar baby.
But the thing that gets you is that it may be too hard. Or you don’t want to “sell” yourself to someone you don’t like for money.
We get it. But here’s the thing – you have a lot of agency as a sugar baby. You decide what you want. You get to say no to what you don’t. All you really need is to find a sugar daddy who wants what you want.
We’re going to show you how to do that. But it’s not just a 1-2-3 step process. We want to go further than that and impart some hard truths and pro tips that we’ve learned along the way so you don’t have the same stumbling blocks on your way to becoming a sugar baby.
Let’s start with the basics.
What to Expect as a Sugar Baby
Before you begin your journey as a sugar baby, it’s important to know what to expect. After all, how can you be a sugar baby if you don’t know what it will entail?
Here are a couple sugar baby facts and information that will help you understand what the sugar baby life looks like before you dive in.
What Exactly Is a Sugar Baby?
A sugar baby is an attractive woman or man who’s seeking a wealthier companion who can provide financial support. The media likes to typecast sugar babies as gold diggers or prostitutes but it’s not so simple.
In fact, most sugar babies are simply looking for a relationship with benefits. You know, a sugar daddy or mommy who they get on with and who can also elevate their lifestyle and/or help them achieve their goals.
In return, a sugar baby provides what their sugar parent needs. And that can consist of a lot of things…
What Do Sugar Babies Do?
There is no job description to being a sugar baby. But most of us are a jill of all trades. Here’s a little list of what you can expect to do in your life as a sugar baby:
- Be charming arm candy
- Provide emotional support
- Be his fantasy woman
- Accompany a sugar daddy on travels for business or pleasure
- Boost the sugar daddy’s ego
- Provide girlfriend benefits without the obligations
- Be a non-judgmental sexual partner
- Become an escape from a sugar daddy’s daily route
As you can see, it’s not as easy as looking good and getting paid. You’re actually doing a lot of things as a sugar baby that the sugar daddy wouldn’t be able to get elsewhere.
How Much Do Sugar Daddies Pay?
Most websites say that the average sugar baby makes $2,800 per month. You should know that that number is based on one report from Seeking, formerly known as Seeking Arrangements, back in 2018.
It’s safe to say that many sugar babies make that on average. But overall, what you make as a sugar baby will vary widely depending on your location, the sugar daddy you choose, and your skills as a sugar baby.
What are the Pros and Cons of Being a Sugar Baby?
Everyone thinks they know the perks of being a sugar baby – money, amiright? But there is a lot more to it than it.
As for the downsides of being a sugar baby, there are some that you should be aware of before you decide to pursue this lifestyle.
Are There Sugar Baby Requirements?
There aren’t sugar baby requirements in the way that you’d think. There is no standard sugar baby appearance. You don’t need a degree. And there isn’t really an upper age limit either.
But there are some qualities that all sugar babies should have, like:
Be at least 18. There is no upper age limit to being a sugar baby. There are even sugar babies in their 50s that we know of. But you do need to be 18 at the very least.
Have a flexible time and schedule. You definitely get a say in when and how often you can meet but in most cases, you will be the one to accommodate the sugar daddy’s busy schedule. So if you’re working three jobs and taking care of your kids as a single mom, this lifestyle isn’t going to work for you.
Be attractive. We’re not going to sugarcoat it – most sugar daddies prefer attractive sugar babies. This doesn’t mean you need to look like a supermodel – we all know that what people find attractive differs – but you do need to be reasonably attractive.
Be interesting. Charming, smart as a whip, sweet and friendly, intellectually curious, warm and wholesome – whatever it is, you need to have qualities that will make a sugar daddy want to spend time with you.
Have a pleasant personality. As for one personality trait that every sugar baby needs? The ability to be agreeable. This doesn’t mean you should hop on one leg and bark like a dog (yes, we like Coming to America) because your sugar daddy asks you to. But an irritable, angry, or aggressive personality will repel sugar daddies, no matter what else you have going for you.
Before You Become a Sugar Baby…
Before you register for a single sugar daddy website or begin chatting with potential sugar daddies, there are a couple things you must be aware of.
Keep Yourself Safe
This means physically as well as emotionally and financially. Here are a couple quick tips that every sugar baby needs to follow:
- Be aware of the most popular sugar daddy scams and how to avoid them
- Always speak to a sugar daddy on the phone or via video chat before meeting them
- Learn the biggest sugar daddy red flags to protect yourself from fake sugar daddies
- Always meet potential sugar daddies in public places – this is a vital sugar baby safety tip
Know Your Sugar Goals
You want to be a sugar baby. But why? What are you hoping to get as a sugar baby?
Everything, you say. All the things!
Okay. As sugar babies, we have a lot of things we want. Here are some of the most popular sugar baby goals.
- Cold hard cash. For most sugar babies, this is the numero uno sugar motivation. Straight up money to get what you want. Whether it’s covering living expenses, paying tuition or student loans, or splurge money for luxuries – this tops the list for the majority of sugar babies.
- Mentorship. Some sugar babies are well aware of what hanging around a smart, experienced man can do for your mindset – and connections. So they may be seeking mentorship and a leg up in the form of solid investment, entrepreneurial, or career advice.
- Experiences. Whether it’s traveling to see the world, luxury vacations to exotic or hard-to-reach locations like the Seychelles or the Galapagos, meals at some of the most exclusive restaurants in town, once in a lifetime adventures, or lessons and classes that you wouldn’t have been able to afford on your own – amazing experiences are one of the biggest perks of being a sugar baby.
- Gifts. Those little luxuries that a sugar daddy can provide in your life, like regular facials and spa days, jewelry, Apple products, couture purses, access to the best salons, shopping sprees, and so on.
The important thing is for you to find your primary goals for this sugar adventure so you can focus on getting those without getting sidetracked.
Set Your Sugar Baby Boundaries
There are some sugar baby boundaries that every sugar baby should have, like:
- Never send a potential sugar daddy money
- Don’t give a potential sugar daddy your personal information
- Always use protection if you’ll be intimate
Everything else depends on the sugar baby. So have a think about things like the sugar daddy age range you find acceptable, the allowance you want, how often you’re available to meet, and which aspects of your life are off-limits.
It’s a good idea to decide early on what these boundaries and dealbreakers are. Trust us, they’ll come up and you’ll be glad you know your limits.
How to Be a Sugar Baby in 7 Steps
When laid out, the process of becoming a sugar baby looks pretty simple. It goes a little something like this:
- Choose only legit sugar daddy websites
- Create a catchy profile
- Message potential sugar daddies
- Talk to the most promising sugar daddies
- Go on first sugar dates
- Secure an arrangement
But each step comes with a little complexity. We’re going to explain everything you need to know step by step.
#1. Choose Legit Sugar Daddy Websites
Hands down the best place to find a sugar daddy is on a dedicated sugar daddy website. After all, that’s where everyone who actually wants a sugar relationship comes. And you know the sugar daddies on there want what you want because they are paying money to get it.
So sign up for one (or even better, three). But not any will do. These are the best ones, especially for new sugar babies.
- Secret Benefits. This is probably the most popular, biggest sugar daddy website right now with over 10 million members. It’s also 100% free for sugar babies so we suggest every sugar baby start here.
- Sugar Daddy Meet. One of the oldest sugar dating websites with over 7 million members. It boasts the best platform with a lot of community engagement so there are a lot of different ways to start interacting with potential sugar daddies.
- What’s Your Price. This pay-for-a-date site isn’t a sugar daddy website, per se. Instead, it’s a fresh take on the sugar dynamic and allows generous members to take attractive members out for a paid date. It’s not an arrangement, sure, but it can lead to one and it does allow you to make money quick when you’re in a rush.
#2. Have a Killer Sugar Baby Profile
You want to put yourself out there as much as possible and this requires action – searching and reading profiles, crafting emails, engaging in banter – but there’s only so much action you can take. You have a life, right?
In order to succeed in finding a sugar daddy without spending all your time in front of a computer, you need to make the passive aspects of the sugar search work for you.
This means making your profile the stickiest, most memorable profile a sugar daddy is going to view that day and hopefully, that week.
#3. Message Potential Sugar Daddies
Success in the sugar world is hugely a numbers game: the more sugar daddies you are in contact with, the better your chances of landing yourself in an ideal sugar arrangement.
So in order to meet the sugar daddy of your dreams – lying around and hoping the perfect catch comes to nibble on your profile is not the best strategy. Actually, it’s a crap strategy since there are many more sugar babies out there than there are sugar daddies.
Plus, sugar daddies don’t have tons of time on their hands so don’t expect them to be endlessly rummaging through sugar baby profiles to find the sugar baby of their dreams – you.
Instead, get read to roll up your sleeves and put in some serious work. That means messaging a lot of sugar daddies every day.
#4. Talk to the Most Promising Sugar Daddies
Once a potential sugar daddy responds to your message, that is a lead. And you want to get it while it’s hot. Instead of endlessly exchanging messages, propose a quick phone chat.
This pre-screening phone call is great because it does three things:
- Gets rid of scammers. Most legit sugar daddies will be up for a phone call or video chat. You know who won’t? Sugar daddy scammers. This automatically screens them out.
- Gives you an idea of who he is. Simply talking on the phone with a sugar daddy will give you a feel for who he is. If he comes off strange, creepy, aggressive, hyper-sexual, you can cross him off your potential sugar daddy list for good.
- Makes you a person, not a profile. Sugar daddies get bombarded with messages from gorgeous sugar babies everyday. But unless they meet and have some sort of personal conversation and human connection, they are nothing but profiles. A simple phone call allows you to build rapport and personalize yourself to a potential sugar daddy.
As you can see, you can accomplish a lot with a simple phone call. Make use of that phone plan you got.
#5. The First Sugar Date(s)
We don’t want to scare you. But there are two things you need to know about the first sugar date: The first sugar date is important and you will be going on a lot of them.
The main point of the first date is to establish chemistry and make him desperately want to see you again. Don’t stay too long – cut the night short and do not sleep with him, under any circumstances.
Finding the perfect sugar daddy takes time. So be prepared to go on a lot of first sugar dates until you meet someone you have chemistry with. The good news is they’re free for you. The bad news is they are time consuming.
The best news is that even if most sugar dates don’t end with the sugar arrangement of your dreams, you often get sugar and/or fun experiences from them. We’ve had sugar daddies bring us gifts and even cash on the first sugar date. One of us has even had a trip to Vegas paid for as a first date.
And remember – the more potential sugar daddies you meet, the more likely you’ll find one you like. So make sure you’re doing everything you can to stock up on as many of these as possible.
#6. Secure an Arrangement
If a sugar daddy likes you and you like him, it’s on. You’ve secured an arrangement. And now you can ride off into the sunset in a Lambo with shopping bags. Right?
Not quite. Now, it’s time to put your big girl pants on and talk logistics. Here’s what you’ll want to iron out before screaming to yourself: “I did it! I have a sugar daddy!”
Money Matters. This includes a couple things, including:
- How much money (or other benefits) will you be receiving? Read The Ultimate Sugar Baby Allowance Guide 2023 for an idea of the average sugar baby allowance.
- How do you want to receive your allowance? Cash? Pre-paid credit card? Monthly bills paid? Check out How Do Sugar Babies Get Paid? 7 Safe Ways to Receive Money to see the pros and cons of the most popular options.
- How often will you be paid? A monthly sugar baby allowance or Pay Per Meet?
Your sugar daddy might already have his preferences on how to give you your allowance, but it’s still a good idea to get to know your options.
Logistics. Another thing you’ll want to discuss with a sugar daddy are logistical matters, like:
- Your schedule. Ask them about their schedule and let them know yours so the sugar daddy knows if it’ll work with theirs. Are you both free on weekends? Do days or nights work better with you? Are there times that are completely unavailable?
- The kinds of date you’ll have. Many sugar relationships consist of the sort of dates that most couples go on. But some sugar daddies may want you to accompany them to travel or business trips. Some will need you to accompany them to events. Others will want you to stay overnight, even move in with them.
- Frequency matters. Simply – how often will you meet? And how long is the preferred date?
- Is anything off-limits? If he’s a married sugar daddy, for example, there may only be certain times of day when you can text, talk, or meet. You might also want to keep certain parts of your life sugar daddy-free, i.e. your home.
And so on.
There is no right or wrong answer to these questions – it’s just important that you know your options and go with what is most comfortable for you.
You’ve done – you can now pop the champagne and scream “I have a sugar daddy!” from the rooftops. But, of course, you want to keep the sugar daddy you just landed. Here are some general do’s and don’ts of behaving like the perfect sugar baby.
Do’s and Don’ts of Becoming a Sugar Baby
Let’s face it: sugar dating is mostly unchartered territory. As such, there’s no official rulebook on how you should act if you want to be a sugar baby.
So it’s up to you to figure things out as you go along. And of course, the guidebook will differ for every sugar baby, depending on who you’re seeing, how long you’ve been seeing them and most importantly, you as a person.
However, having said that, there are definite Do’s and Don’ts in the sugar world. And sticking to the stuff that works and avoiding the stuff that sucks is a mighty smart way to navigate the sugar world as a newbie.
DO: Take Care of Yourself
This doesn’t just mean that you eat clean, go to the gym, and keep yourself looking fresh and polished. It means you really take care of yourself – physically as well as mentally, emotionally, and even spirituality.
If a sugar daddy sees that you prioritize your well-being by educating yourself, drawing healthy boundaries so you don’t get swept up in the drama of life, and making sure that you’re mentally and emotionally healthy – well, that’s the kind of sugar baby that a sugar daddy wants to keep around.
DO: Get Comfortable with Money
Not just money, mind you – we mean talking about money. You can’t be stammering and stuttering and avoiding the topic of what you want, after all. In short: don’t be afraid of talking about what you know and he knows you’re on the website for.
Of course, there are classier ways of going about this than “b*tch betta have my money!”
But yes, finances are important. That’s why you’re there. Embrace it, get comfortable with it and learn how to ask for what you want.
Because if you can’t talk about it, some sugar daddies will gladly spend time with you while skirting around the topic as well. And that’s not what you want, is it?
DO: Always be willing to walk away
If you want to be a successful sugar baby, you need to protect your time and energy to spend on pursuing the best sugar daddies in your area. In order to do that, you need to be able to cut the bad sugar daddies loose.
Even if you’re feeling desperate for funds, remember that emotional damage has a cost and it can continue to influence you for far longer than any money you get from a crappy situation will last. So if a potential sugar daddy is not treating you right, don’t hold onto scraps. Be willing to walk away so you can find a better sugar daddy.
Of course, walking away is always easier if you’re independent to begin with…
DO: Have a Sugar Stash
No matter what – we recommend every sugar baby have some financial means that are independent of a sugar daddy. That can mean keeping a job (even part-time) or building up savings, aka a sugar stash.
Having enough money to cover your day-to-day living expenses and tide you over for a couple months without a sugar daddy is key to keeping you safe and clear-headed in the sugar journey. You’ll be in a much better place to choose the ideal sugar daddy instead of having to settle for the first sugar daddy who offers you money.
DO: Be Passionate
This doesn’t mean you have to take up a cause and become a raging and ranting advocate.
You can simply sprinkle a little bit of passion on your everyday gestures and mannerisms – it’ll have the effect of making you irresistible.
Engage him with your eyes, smile widely and openly, laugh aloud and from the belly, and just generally allow yourself to become excited and passionate whenever the opportunity presents itself.
On the other side of the spectrum, there’s complaining. The last thing a sugar daddy wants from his sugar baby is constant complaining. If you’re in the habit of talking about what is wrong with your life, expect to repel every genuine sugar daddy you’ll ever meet.
If you’ve fallen into the trap of complaining for too long and find that it’s too hard to suddenly revert to being a happy person, try simply holding back whenever you have a negative thing to say. Suddenly trying to be happy may come off forced and insincere, but if you just hold back whatever complaint you were just about to utter – in time, you’ll find yourself becoming less of a negative person and more of a happy one.
DON’T: Cancel Dates Often
This might be an obvious one but it’s a big no-no so it’s definitely worth mentioning. It doesn’t matter how pretty or sexy or fun you are – canceling a bunch of dates is just annoying, and most sugar daddies won’t have much patience for it.
Think of the kind of sugar daddies you’re going to be meeting. They’re successful businessmen, meaning they’re probably very busy. If they’ve set aside time to see you, honor that unless you have a genuine reason to cancel.
If you’re not sure that you can make it, tell him and say you’ll confirm with him closer to the time. He may not have the patience for this either but you’ll either need to start to commit or risk losing sugar daddies simply for being flaky.
DON’T: Drink Too Much
Try your best to stick to this rule in general, even after months of dating. And especially stick to this rule for the first few dates at least.
Think back to being out with friends and someone getting silly drunk. It’s annoying, embarrassing and someone is always left looking after them all night or taking them home.
Now put yourself in your sugar daddy’s shoes – he’s brought you out for a nice dinner with fine wine, treated you like a princess and given you an allowance. Don’t repay him by having way too much to drink at dinner and ruining the night.
I understand having a glass or two to calm your nerves but don’t overdo it. Having too much to drink will do nothing but make you louder, more obnoxious and way sloppier.
And there you have it. The full step-by-step guide on how to be a sugar baby. Let us know if you have any more tips in the comments!