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What Is a Sugar Daddy? the Pros and Cons and How to Do it Right

Exactly what is a sugar daddy? Everyone thinks they know what a sugar daddy means. After all, the word gets thrown around a lot. A friend starts dating an older man who lives in a big house and picks her up in a Maserati and everyone jests that she has a sugar daddy.

A classmate’s boyfriend gifts her a Cartier necklace as a graduation gift and he is jokingly referred to as a sugar daddy.

The popular consensus is that a sugar daddy is a wealthy man who spends lavishly on a woman. And that’s mostly accurate. But let’s go a little further. What is the exact definition of a sugar daddy?

What is a Sugar Daddy?

The Dictionary defines sugar daddy as “a wealthy man who spends freely on a younger person, generally a woman or a gay man, in return for companionship or sexual intimacy.

The most upvoted definition of a sugar daddy in the Urban Dictionary says that “a Sugar Daddy is a boyfriend who comes with financial benefits. Sugar benefactors can help to cover tuition, bills, and frequently enjoy bestowing gifts upon their partners.

And the Collins Dictionary defines sugar daddy as “a sugar daddy is a rich older man who gives her money and presents in return for her company, affection, and usually a sexual relationship.

All in all, we’d say all three definitions of a sugar daddy are correct. But we’d like to go a little further than that…

How We Define Sugar Daddy…

There is a lot of room for variation in the sugar world. Which is why it’s hard to sum up what a sugar daddy means with one catch-all definition.

At its simplest, a sugar daddy is a man who provides financial benefits to a woman or gay man. The financial benefits, though, can come in many forms, such as:

  • Cash allowance or PPM
  • Bills paid
  • Tuition paid
  • Career connections
  • Mentorship
  • Gifts
  • Travel

In return, the sugar daddy is looking for benefits of his own. These can be a number of things, including:

  • Companionship
  • Sex
  • Arm candy
  • Guaranteed dates with beautiful woman without having to send hundreds of messages on Tinder, Hinge, or the like
  • Extra TLC
  • Dating a woman who would typically be “out of his league”
  • An intimate relationship without commitment, jealousy, or drama
  • Making a difference in someone’s life

On top of this, a sugar daddy can choose to:

  • Be very discreet, as in the case of married sugar daddies, or out in the open, even to the point where you meet each other’s family and friends
  • Be monogamous or open
  • Pay in one form or multiple, aka only PPM or a monthly cash allowance plus bills and tuition paid

As you can see, there is a lot of room for variety when it comes to what a sugar daddy is and what he wants.

But what ultimately differentiates a sugar daddy from a generous boyfriend or partner is that with a sugar daddy, it’s more of a business/relationship. As in, there are the usual components of a relationship – intimacy, companionship, romance – but there are also clearer terms and conditions on what is to be provided and how.

Rarely are these left up to chance – the boundaries and expectations with a sugar daddy are set in a way that doesn’t happen with “vanilla” relationships.

What are the Types of Sugar Daddies?

There are many types of sugar daddies in the sugar world – all wanting slightly different things. But according to one recent sociological study on sugar dating, all sugar daddies can be categorized into 7 types, based on what they are mainly looking for in a sugar relationship.

Here is a summary of the main types of sugar daddies:

Sugar “John”. The sugar “John” is seeking what is essentially sugar prostitution. There is no relationship or emotional connection – simply a transaction involving the exchange of money or gifts for sex.

Sugar Daddy “Lifer”. On the opposite end of the spectrum is the “Lifer” sugar daddy. And he’s looking for a sugar baby to wife up. He doesn’t just want any sugar baby – he wants to find the right sugar baby that pushes all the right buttons whom he can take care of and spoil for the rest of her life.

“Platonic” Sugar Daddy. Platonic sugar daddies are looking for sugar friendships. Nothing sexual is expected and sugar daddy is in essence a generous friend. Oftentimes, they are mentors as well.

“Just Date” Sugar Daddy. This type of sugar daddy engages in sugar dating for one main purpose: to keep his dating life active. No sex is involved, but the dates are more romantic than a friendship. The dates can range from grabbing coffee or drinks and dining out together to going to theatre, shows, amusement parks, and doing hobbies together. These types of sugar relationships can become very emotionally intertwined but the core of the relationship is dating, rather than a full-blown, intimate relationship.

“Traditional” Sugar Daddy. This is the most common type of sugar daddy. And he wants it all – companionship, sexual intimacy, romance, and all the hallmarks of a relationship. With this type of sugar daddy, the sugar baby typically received a set allowance, be in weekly, monthly, or as-needed.

“Friends with Benefits” Sugar Daddy. This type of sugar daddy wants a sugar friendship – but with sexual benefits. It’s similar to a traditional sugar daddy but these types of sugar daddies prefer less “structured” arrangements. Think: meeting sporadically and covering some bills or vacations rather than providing an allowance.

What is the Opposite of a Sugar Daddy?

There are a lot of sugar daddy terms used to refer to different types of sugar daddies – as well as sugar daddy wannabes. This can be confusing because not all sugar daddy wannabes are the opposite of a sugar daddy.

So what is the opposite of a sugar daddy and what is just another form of sugar daddy? Read on for details.

Salt Daddy

The Salt Daddy is a man who pretends to be a wealthy sugar daddy in order to get sugar babies to meet them, usually for sex.

Read: My Salt Daddy Experience: How to Spot the Signs of a Salt Daddy

Salt Daddies are the opposite of sugar daddies because they will not provide any sugar. They simply use the lure of sugar to get benefits from a sugar baby before she realizes she’s not getting anything in return. And then they’re done and out, moved on to their next target.

Here are some signs of salt daddies:

  • Makes it sexual very quickly. Even in the initial messages. For example, instead of complimenting your smile, he comments on your sexier features. Instead of asking about your life, he asks about your favorite sex positions.
  • Pushes for intimacy. On the first date or even before, he invites you to his place or his hotel room.
  • Allowance comes later. There could be multiple excuses – he’s been scammed before, he wants to know you are sexually compatible, and so on. But he wants to hold off on PPM or allowance – until the morning after or at the end of the month. A salt daddy will promise you the world but only after intimacy.

Sugar Daddy Scammer

The Sugar Daddy Scammer also poses as a legit sugar daddy – but for very different reasons. While the Salt Daddy’s goal is sex, the Sugar Daddy Scammer’s is financial benefit. In short, he’s looking to scam sugar babies out of money.

Read: 7 Sugar Daddy Scams You Need to Know Before It’s Too Late

Just like the Salt Daddy, there will be no sugar for the sugar baby. No financial benefits. Which is why the Sugar Daddy Scammer is also the opposite of a sugar daddy.

Here are some signs of a sugar daddy scammer:

  • Never wants to meet. A sugar daddy scammer isn’t who he says he is and a simple date will quickly reveal that. So he has multiple excuses why he doesn’t or can’t meet. He will also decline phone and video calls.
  • Asks for personal info. If anyone claiming to be a sugar daddy asks for personal info like bank login details, social security number, or similarly confidential information – he’s a scammer.
  • Needs you to pay to receive. One of the hallmarks of a sugar daddy scammer is that he will need you to do something like buy a prepaid card or a gift card in order to receive your allowance. No legit sugar daddy will have a sugar baby spend her money to get an allowance.
  • Offers a lot for very little. The tell-tale sign of a sugar daddy scammer is that he promises a lot (think: $xxxx.xx allowance and gifts galore) without expecting anything from you. If it sounds way too good to be true, that’s because it is.

Splenda Daddy

A Splenda Daddy isn’t the opposite of a sugar daddy. He still falls into sugar daddy territory – he just can’t afford as much. And yet, he will still provide at least a little sweetness.

That’s why he’s named after the artificial sweetener. He can sweeten your life, but it won’t be like real sugar. Think of him as Sugar Daddy Lite.

Read: Is a Splenda Daddy Worth Your Time?

A Splenda Daddy’s heart is usually in the right place. He’s not trying to scam you or get one over on you. He simply doesn’t have the funds to be a full-fledged sugar daddy. But he will still try to spoil you – it will just be with a cheaper budget.

Experience Daddy

That isn’t a typo. We’re talking Experience Daddies, not experienced daddies. The Experience Daddy is not the opposite of a sugar daddy because he does provide sugar. It’s just that the sugar isn’t in the form of money.

An Experience Daddy doesn’t provide allowance or even PPM. There’s no money exchanged at all. Instead, Experience Daddies spoil sugar babies with experiences that would be out of the average sugar baby’s budget. Think: fine dining, luxury vacations, posh hotels, trips out of town, and so on.

What are the Perks of Being a Sugar Daddy?

It’s obvious what sugar babies get – money, right? But what’s less obvious is what sugar daddies get in return. So what are sugar daddy benefits – are there any?

Of course there are. The thing is, though, sugar daddy benefits are not quite as tangible. Still, they are very valuable – enough that most sugar daddies agree they’re worth paying for.

what is a sugar daddy

Here’s a little list of the perks of being a sugar daddy:

  • Feeling desired by and having the attention of beautiful women
  • Sexual intimacy
  • A customized romantic relationship where you get to choose what you what and what you don’t want
  • Dating much younger women
  • An easy way to be actively dating without wasting time sending messages and going through courtship rituals
  • Dates with attractive woman when you want
  • All the benefits of a romantic relationship without the obligations
  • Doesn’t have to be monogamous dating
  • Emotional support in the form of an attractive companion
  • Satisfaction from being able to help someone improve their lives

And there’s a lot more than that – check out our full list of sugar daddy benefits that will surprise you.

What are the Risks of Being a Sugar DaddY?

The truth is that there are pitfalls and risks to doing anything – and being a sugar daddy is no exception. But as a wise man once said:

“Knowing is half the battle.”

G.I. Joe

And once you know the most common dangers and risks of being a sugar daddy, you can avoid them all.

So what are the most common pitfalls that sugar daddies stumble on? Here’s what to watch out for…

Sugar Baby Rinsers

Just as there are fake sugar daddies, there are also fake sugar babies. They’re known as Rinsers and they operate in the same way as Salt Daddies – they string potential sugar daddies along for money but never provide any sugar baby benefits.

The good news is that they’re easy to avoid. Here’s what to do:

  • Unless you’re looking for an online-only sugar baby, don’t give money to a potential sugar baby you haven’t met yet.
  • If a sugar baby asks for money upfront before you meet or payment for a first date, be wary. The chances are that she’ll get the money and then cancel the date.
  • Another thing to watch out for are sob stories early on. If you barely know her or haven’t even met her and she comes to you with a story of how she desperately needs money or she’ll be homeless, can’t afford medical treatment, or so on – that’s a Rinser red flag.

Treating Sugar Babies as Sex Workers

Sugar babies are not sex workers. Sex workers are paid to provide sexual services. Sugar babies are financially provided for in return for companionship and intimacy.

It may seem like a fine line to some – but there are crucial differences:

Sex workers: You agree on a price and a time. Money or other compensation is exchanged for sexual acts. You part ways.

Sugar babies: Chemistry and rapport are key. You discuss expectations and boundaries for the relationship. You date and throughout the relationship, you take care of her needs and wants and she takes care of yours. There is usually an expiration date but it can be weeks, months, or even years.

You may meet a sex worker for a couple hours in a hotel. With a sugar baby, you may do the same – but others nights, you may also just watch Netflix and get takeout.

Most importantly, hiring sex workers is illegal – at least in most states. On the other hand, having a sugar baby is legal.

Feeling Used

It’s a strange feeling at first. You joined a sugar daddy website knowing that sugar babies are looking for financial benefits. But at the same time, you can’t help feeling a little bit used every time she hits you up for money, gifts, lavish experiences.

You’re not an ATM, after all.

We get it. And it’s tricky, especially since you knew the deal when you became a sugar daddy, right? But here’s the thing – there are a lot of sugar babies who want financial benefits but will treat you so well that you never feel like a mere ATM. And others will just try to take, take, take as much as they can, eventually leaving you feeling used and resentful.

Choose the former sugar babies.

Taking Rejection Personally

Some sugar daddies assume that because the numbers are stacked in their favor and since they are paying – rejection shouldn’t happen in the sugar world.

But rejection can happen anywhere.

If a sugar baby declines an arrangement with you, simply wish her the best and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And being pushy or angry never changes people’s minds.

Viewing Sugar Babies as Objects

Sugar babies are financially cared for – not bought and paid for. Most have clear boundaries and won’t accept degradation or abusive treatment that they would not tolerate in a traditional relationship.

We have known sugar babies to walk away from sugar daddies offering great financial compensation because the emotional damage simply wasn’t worth it.

So keep in mind that sugar babies are people too and treat them with respect and decency and you’ll get the same in return.

Falling in Love with a Sugar Baby

This happens more frequently than you’d think. And it’s not surprising why – sugar babies are financially compensated to provide the best girlfriend experience without any of the obligations or drama.

So it’s not surprising when a sugar daddy falls in love with a sugar baby.

what is a sugar daddy

The good news is that sometimes, it works out. But other times, it doesn’t. Unless you’re sure that the feelings will be reciprocated, it’s best not to complicate a good arrangement. Just enjoy the heck out of it while it lasts.

Is Being a Sugar Daddy Worth It?

Being a sugar daddy is not for everyone. You need enough disposable income and the ability to be generous with your sugar babies.

But if you’re a man who wants to…

  • regularly date and be intimate with young, attractive women
  • date with little chance of rejection
  • have a very discreet fling or affair
  • have a NSA relationship with no obligations or pressure to commit

…yes, being a sugar daddy is worth it.

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