If you’ve ever dated a salt daddy, you already know that the experience may leave you feeling salty. Never tried? Lucky you – but they are out there.
But before we launch into a full exposé on salt daddies, let me preface this by saying that the sugar world has been good to me. Ever since first became a sugar baby, I’ve had (almost) nothing but good experiences. I’ve managed to meet the most wonderful people and gone to some truly amazing places, even traveling abroad with some of the men I’ve met.
I’ve also been lucky enough to have a few long-term arrangements, meaning that I probably spent less time on sugar daddy sites than I might have otherwise.
But on the other side of the sugar spectrum, there have been less savory experiences. Of course, you get the standard sleazy messages from some men. But it’s easy to just ignore and delete these.
What’s not so easy is falling for a salt daddy who is posing as a legit sugar daddy.
And well, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of going down that road.
What is a Salt Daddy?
For those of you who are lucky enough to be unaware of what a ‘salt daddy’ means, they are a group of men in the sugar world who wants a relationship with a sugar baby but doesn’t actually have anything to offer her.
So they masquerade as wealthy, successful sugar daddies in order to attract young, beautiful women. Many of them have fake profiles, exaggerating their wealth or status.
Their goal? Salt daddies have the sole aim of sleeping with sugar babies. They have no intention of providing any financial benefits. Often, they believe they shouldn’t have to offer sugar babies anything at all.
As bad as they are, the one good thing about salt daddies is that they are usually a short-term infliction. That’s because salt daddies are not interested in a relationship as this would reveal the truth about them. Some of them even take pleasure in fooling sugar babies they date.
If you’re reading any of this and thinking there’s no way there’s men like this in the sugar world, then head on over to a blog post written by a self-confessed salt daddy. You can read his approach to
sugar salt dating on his blog.
Even after reading this, it can be hard to believe that men like this are actually out there. It was for me because I’d had so many good experiences with genuine sugar daddies. It wasn’t until I actually dated a salt daddy that I noticed the subtle differences.
So here’s my story, in short, and what you can learn from my experiences with a salt daddy.
My Salt Daddy Experience: 4 Things I Learned
I’d heard and read about salt daddies but had not actually met one until about two years into my involvement in the sugar world.
I had just turned twenty two and was living in California at the time, when I was received a message from a guy. Let’s call him Liam.
It can be tricky to tell salt and sugar apart through the messages but once you actually meet, it will be plain as day.
#1. Salt Daddies Won’t Discuss Details
A man who genuinely wants a long lasting arrangement will be happy to discuss both what they expect from you and what they can offer. A salt daddy will keep it vague and avoid discussing any future with you, at least specifically.
In Liam’s case, he seemed interested in discussing an arrangement until we met for dinner.
That was when all specificity went out the window and he began to avoid my questions. He repeatedly reminded me how many messages he receives on a daily basis but that he thought I had the ‘potential’ to be his next sugar baby.
It essentially felt like a chance for him to stroke his ego more than anything else. At the end of that first date, it became clear that he expected me to come home with him. As this was a first date, I explained that this just wasn’t something I was comfortable with and he apologized.
#2. Salt Daddies Push for Sex
We went out again a few days later and again, it became very clear he expected sex early on. At this point, it just felt awkward and forced. And in that situation, sex is never going to be on the table!
But against my better judgment, I decided to give it one last chance and we went for drinks at a hotel bar.
Massive mistake- I should have listened to my gut.
I once again brought up the subject of an arrangement but he told me I was focusing on the ‘boring stuff’ too much. He said that he wouldn’t even be willing to discuss an allowance until he knew the sex would be worth it for him.
He used a far more explicit term to say this. Trust me, it was gross.
#3. It Can Become Abusive
It was at that point I excused myself and left. He proceeded to bombard me with message after message about how I was nothing but a prostitute and about how I must not know how to please a man, blah blah blah!
He called me so many times, I had to block his number and I didn’t give him another thought until about four months later, when his name came up among me and a group of sugar baby friends. Let’s just say his username on Seeking was very memorable and so I knew it was him the second she brought it up!
She had been out on several dates with him and experienced the exact same thing. He refused to discuss any specifics with her and got hostile when it became clear she wasn’t just going to sleep with him, except he reacted ten times worse than he did with me.
He stood up in the garden they were in and proceeded to announce that she was a hooker and that he wasn’t paying her as she ‘wasn’t worth the money she was looking for’.
After that, he followed his pattern and bombarded her with messages until she blocked him. It was at that point that we both went onto Seeking and reported his account for abusive behavior. Thankfully, his account was swiftly removed.
My friend also shared what happened to her on Reddit and reading through the replies, there were stories from other girls also claiming to have gone out with him. Some of them had even slept with him and then received messages from him calling them cheap hookers and other awful things.
#4. Always Listen to Your Gut
It was the first bad experience I’d had. Even when things hadn’t worked out with men I had met in the past, we always parted ways on good terms, agreeing that we just weren’t compatible.
It made me more guarded and definitely taught me to listen to my gut. When something feels wrong, it probably is.
So if you’ve met a guy like this, you have my sympathy. But if you haven’t, I definitely advise you to read on for some subtle signs of a salt daddy. Hopefully, once you learn to spot these salt daddies in the wild, you’ll never have to waste your time with one.
5 Signs of a Salt Daddy
You already know that salt daddies are the pits. But how do you avoid them?
Well, knowing the signs and how to spot a salt daddy is a great place to start. You already know some signs of a salt daddy just from reading about what I went through.
But we don’t want any to slip through the cracks. Because trust me – you don’t want to waste your time and energy on even one salt daddy.
So here are a couple more examples as well as subtler signs that a potential sugar daddy might actually be a salt daddy. Here’s what to watch for so you can quickly weed out salt daddies.
#1. He is Showy With Money
One thing that a lot of sugar babies who get tricked by salt daddies learn is that salt daddies talk about money. A lot.
At first, it might not seem strange. After all, sugar daddies are meant to be successful and wealthy. They can engage in expensive hobbies and live lavish lifestyles.
But if a potential sugar daddy mentions his multiple houses, his vacation homes, the luxury cars he bought for previous sugar babies, and so on without even being prompted, he’s trying too hard.
And why would a genuine sugar daddy have anything to prove about his wealth? He wouldn’t. So you’re most likely dealing with a salt daddy who’s doing his best to create the impression of wealth, without having to provide it.
#2. Sexy Talk Straight Away
Salt daddies usually want sex from sugar babies. But they need to get it quickly, before the sugar baby finds out that they have no sugar to offer.
This is why a salt daddy will try to turn things sexual quite quickly. He’ll ask what you like in bed. What are your sexual fantasies? What’s the wildest thing you’ve done? What kind of lingerie do you like?
He is just trying to quickly ramp up the sexual tension so he can get what he wants before you realize he has nothing to offer you.
Editor’s note: This is so true and relates to a common mistake new sugar babies make, which is to automatically think that the regular rules of dating don’t apply to sugar dating. They do.
You wouldn’t go on a date with some guy from OkCupid who mentions his favorite sexual positions in the first message, so why would you go on a sugar date with a potential sugar daddy who does the same thing? Don’t make exceptions for bad behavior just because it’s sugar dating.
#3. You Should Be So Lucky
Another sign of a salt daddy is that he brags. There are tons of women messaging him and they all want to be his sugar baby. He’s much better looking and younger than the other sugar daddies on the platform. He can get any 22 year old he wants.
Ultimately, he’s a salt daddy who’s trying to convince you that since he’s such a catch, you shouldn’t even expect the kind of money other sugar babies get.
#4. His PLace, Your Place Or the Holiday Inn
Another dead giveaway that the man is a salt daddy is if he can only meet you at his place or yours. Or a cheap hotel.
You had dinner plans but wait! He’s suddenly gotten so tied up with work and he wants you to come to his place. Or he’s having renovations, can he come to yours?
Another classic – he prefers privacy and a one-on-one setting. Can you come to his hotel room? You see, they’re important people and can’t risk their public image. Or they’re married and afraid to be seen.
In reality, they will see buying you dinner or gifts as a waste of money when all they really want to do is have sex.
#5. You Get Everything…But the Sugar
Last but not least, you know you’re dealing with a salt daddy if he doesn’t give you any sugar.
A true mark of a salt daddy is one who will try to distract you with everything else…but sugar. They care so much about you. Says he’s going to spoil you with so much stuff. Brags about how well he’s doing in life.
But when it comes to fulfilling his side of the bargain – nothing.
Salt daddies want all the benefits you have to offer. But when it comes time to iron out their side of the arrangement, suddenly, there are a lot of excuses.
Some of their favorites?
- I don’t want to pay to be with a person I really care about
- You’re just using me!
- You care about money too much
- I want it to feel like a “real” relationship
- It feels so transactional
- I like something authentic, like a real gf scenario
If a potential sugar daddy tries to trick, guilt or gaslight you in this manner, you are 100% dealing with a salt daddy.
Do not be blinded by distraction. If he’s not giving you the one thing you’re on sugar daddy websites to get – SUGAR – he’s a salt daddy.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Aly, aka The Travelholic Sugar Babe. You can check out her sugar baby story here!