The sugar baby experience is something that’s been fascinating the public for over a decade now. There are articles, social media posts, and viral videos of sugar babies showing off the lavish meals, the exotic travels, and of course, the bling.
But none of that paints the whole picture of what the life of a sugar baby actually is.
So what exactly is the sugar baby experience?
Well, here’s where things get a little tricky. Because the sugar baby life is as diverse as sugar babies themselves.
We could write a book about all the various sugar baby lifestyles we’ve been privy to, but that would take too long. So we’ll do the next best thing and let real sugar babies share what the sugar baby experience is in their own words.
What is the Life of a Sugar Baby Like?
The media portrayal of the average sugar baby is often just a caricature. Occasionally, we come across an article about the life of sugar babies. And we can’t help but laugh at how much those articles are entirely missing the point.
But when you’re a new sugar baby just dipping her toes into the sugar world for the first time, these media myths can be misleading and even outright harmful, especially if you use them as information to guide you in your sugar journey.
So if you’ve been at all curious about this lifestyle, you need to know the truth about what the life of a sugar baby is – and isn’t.
That’s why we want to bring you the undertold truths about the sugar baby experience that the media often leaves out. Here’s what real life sugar babies have to say…
It’s Not a Transaction
“What I first thought was a trade-off of sex for money, turned out to be a much more complicated and at times, confusing, dance between two people. One of my biggest worries and reservations going into sugar dating was that I would be little more than an escort, and there are people who do treat it as such, but that’s not what it’s meant to be.
It’s a relationship, and just like any other relationship, you need to engage, and cater to each other’s needs. Many daddies can be turned off when you start talking numbers right off the bat or have a price list.
Remember: it’s not a business, it’s a relationship. At the same time, some daddies may approach you with a number and expect something in exchange. It’s best to nip such interactions in the bud. They are rarely ever consistent, reliable, or fulfilling.”Morse
“It isn’t supposed to feel like a transaction. I have no problem stating that I am a “Netflix connoisseur” and that I will “try anything once, except for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.” Being real is what makes them feel more connected to you, and thus, more money. At the end of the day, the company is nice, but textbooks and tuition aren’t free.”Stevie
“I love having these intimate relationships with men who I genuinely connect with. People I can often rely on and who help me out not just financially. My biggest advice is to form a connection and build a relationship on that. It’s still dating, just with slightly different expectations.”Morse
Sugar Babies Call the Shots
One of the biggest misconceptions about the life of a sugar baby is that we’re some sort of indentured servants. That we need to do whatever sugar daddies demand of us. This is just not the case.
In fact, most experienced sugar babies will tell you that if you have a sugar daddy who is demanding and doesn’t respect your wishes, it’s time to drop him like a hot potato.
“Too many sugar babies belittle themselves and think that the sugar daddy always wears the pants. You might think that since the man is the one paying, he’s in charge.
WRONG! Girl, listen up, because I am about to spill the realest facts that every boss sugar baby should know: YOU are the most powerful person in the arrangement. You call the shots, you pull the rope, and most importantly, you stand your frickin’ ground and you can say yes or no as you please.”The Classy Prude
“This lifestyle is fun. It’s different than anything else you will ever try in your life. And, if you know what you want and you’re selective about who you start relationships with, it will probably be one of the best times of your life.
Like anything else, though, the problem is always in settling. Don’t settle! Hitch your britches all the way up and settle down for the long haul. The best possible sugar arrangement is going to be so much more rewarding than the first available.”Joli
No Two Sugar Baby Lifestyles are the Same
Here’s the thing – there is no standard sugar baby lifestyle. You decide the sort of life you live as a sugar baby. Here’s what we mean…
“I personally am not one for designer bags, expensive jewelry, etc. I currently have two daddies; one who gives me a cash allowance, and another who just pays for some of my expenses. It’s nice to not have to pay for basic things like new furniture, books, art supplies, some workout supplements to maintain my figure, etc.
The other one I meet only once a week or so for nice dinners, wine, and great conversation. He’s pretty old and is not looking for intimacy, just company. I learn a lot from talking with him about politics and history. In addition to knowledge he also gives me the life tips of a wiser person on relationships, money management, etc.”Cee
“You don’t have to be that stereotypical hot model to be a sugar baby. All of my sugar daddies in the past have commented on how much they loved that I laid there and played with their hair and listened to them talk about their work days.”Moira
We Have Full Lives
Another huge misconception is that the sugar baby lifestyle is vapid and shallow, revolving around materialistic objects. We are uneducated and thus, need a sugar daddy to support us to buy all the things we don’t need. The truth is that most of us lead full lives of our own.
“Most people think that sugar babies are just bimbos with no ambition and no inclination to work. I can assure you that for me it is not the case. Even though I am a sugar baby I still constantly look for work opportunities, seek to expand my knowledge and my timetable is full of different activities such as music, art, university, student ambassador, course rep, volunteering, helping the homeless and traveling.”A British Sugar Baby
“When people meet me they think I am the typical college student who is motivated and passionate about my major. I obviously am, but I also double as a sugar baby. My goal is to get a doctorate in the health field to help kids and teenagers with their speech disorders. My backup major is with the fashion industry.”Veronica
It Can Be Better Than a “Vanilla” Relationship
“This sounds weird but I think being a sugar baby has shown me that I can expect more from a man. The guys my age I’ve dated are barely holding it together and being with my sugar daddy has sort of flipped my whole idea of what a relationship can offer.
It’s not just the allowance, but he’s considerate, level-headed and willing and able to help me out in almost all aspects of my life. I mean, he had a heated cat bed delivered to my apartment last week when my cat was sick, which is not something I can imagine most 20-something guys doing.”Emma
“It’s also taught me a lot about relationships in general and I know that when I choose to settle down, I really will know exactly what I’m looking for in a man. Being with an older, successful man usually means you are treated like a queen so I definitely won’t be settling in future.”Aly
the Best Thing About the Sugar Baby Lifestyle Is…
The sugar baby life comes with a lot of perks. Here are some of the best things about the sugar baby lifestyle, in the words of real life sugar babies…
#1. Being Spoiled
Most likely the most common perk that sugar babies love is simply being spoiled. Sugar daddies can provide access to a top-shelf lifestyle that most sugar babies wouldn’t be able to afford on their own, so this comes as no surprise.
“As cliché as it may sound, I really enjoy being spoiled. Going to dinner and ordering a bottle of wine recommended by your server, without looking at the price tag, is a feeling I didn’t get when dating men my own age. Being “wined and dined” in the traditional sense is something that sets sugaring apart from other relationships, and I truly believe it is something that makes sugaring so rewarding.”Chantelle
“I love that I’ve been able to travel (sometimes with a man, sometimes without). I’ve got to experience some amazing places, hotels and restaurants that I definitely would not have seen on my own. As I’ve already said, handbags are my weakness and I don’t know if I would have ever been able to afford the ones that I have on my own!”Aly
“The opportunity to live life to its fullest. I love being able to eat gourmet food, travel, and dress the way I want to without having to pick between one or the other.”Candice
“I love riding around in Lamborghinis, Rolls Royce, Ferraris, R8s, etc. on a weekly basis; I love the new MacBook that I was just given as an early Christmas gift from one of my daddies. Forget long walks on the beach, now I have chauffeured car rides to the bank.”Stevie
#2. The Freedom
This comes as no surprise. The average 9-to-5 takes up 40 hours of your time. Every week. And that’s not even including the commute.
So having a sugar daddy who provides all the financial perks of a job without the obligations means you have a whole lot of freedom to pursue your own hobbies and goals – without worrying about the bills.
“The freedom this life offers is my favorite thing, that I can have entire days to myself to work on my own hobbies and interests while not having to stress out about money is truly a blessing.”Becky
“My favorite thing about being a sugar baby is the fact that I don’t have to use my own money to pay my mortgage and bills.”Dulce
“The free time and the money to be able to make use of that time. I’ve had incredible experiences since sugar dating that I never would’ve found the time, money, or imagination to do if I’d been stuck at a 9 to 5 every month.”Caitlin
#3. The Confidence Boost
Here’s one of the best things about the sugar baby life that just does not get talked about enough – it’s a huge confidence boost. Most sugar babies have gone on plenty of vanilla dates with men who want to dutch pay. Most sugar babies have also been in relationships in which they gave and gave and got little in return.
So experiencing the life of a sugar baby where a sugar daddy pays for the pleasure of your company does good things for your ego.
“My favorite thing about being a sugar baby is to see the world through the eyes of the men I get to know. I also like how it pushes my self-esteem. Last week, someone spent more than twice my monthly rent just to meet me for a first date. I can feel my back straightening every time I think about that.”Steffi
“I’m not your typical tall, blonde hair, blue eyed babe who wears a lot of makeup. I don’t over sexualize myself, and to find men who accept me for me is amazing. Seeking.com honestly intimidated me when I first made an account.
Every woman looked so sexy in their swimsuits, long flowing hair and well done make up. I told myself I’m not that so why would any sugar daddy choose me when they could have her but with a little patience I found two wonderful sugar daddies who love me for me.”Noelle
#4. The Mentorship
Sugar daddies tend to be older, established and successful, and have a lot more world experience under their Hermes belts. That’s not gone unnoticed by many sugar babies have
“I have met several sugar daddies that have provided mentorship. There is a saying that you are like the five people you hang around the most. I believe this is true. Since starting sugar dating, I have excelled in school and sought out opportunities that I wouldn’t have otherwise sought out if it wasn’t for sugar dating.”Stevie
“This might sound corny, but honestly it is the relationship that you form with some truly amazing people. I think some of the most incredible “heart to hearts” I’ve had in my entire life have been with my sugar daddies.
Since this person is obviously much older than you are, often they have a lot of wisdom to share, and if you approach it properly, any sugar daddy loves to talk, whether it be about business, relationships, life, family…So my favorite thing is definitely the rich emotional connections I’ve had.”The Classy Prude
“I think my favorite part was seeing how they saw the world. One of the main reasons I became a sugar baby was to see how people became successful and what set them apart from everyone else.”
“One of my favorite things about being a sugar baby is that you actually learn so much.
Sugar daddies are older and they’ve been through their fair share of life so as an aspiring sugar baby, don’t be afraid to ask questions and have normal conversations with your sugar daddy as you could really be surprised by how much knowledge you can gain out of it.”
#5. Being “Taken Care of”
Being taken care of goes beyond a sugar baby allowance. It’s that feeling of having someone established, thoughtful, and with connections, looking out for you and making sure that you have everything that you need.
“One of the things that surprised me was that I found sugar daddies who turned out to be people I could rely on. We could have conversations about each other’s day or week without necessarily meeting, and at times I would simply mention that I needed or wanted something whether it be a new coffee table for when mine gave out on me, or just craving some McDonalds and they would ask me when they could drop it off.”Morse
Want to know more about the pros and cons of being a sugar baby? Check out the article below.
The Worst Part of the Sugar Baby Experience is…
Unfortunately, the life of a sugar baby is not all Lambos and Gucci. There are some real drawbacks to the sugar baby life as well.
Here are some of the most common downsides that sugar babies have experienced…
“If they ask for your username and password, it’s a scam. If they say they want to add you to their payroll, it’s a scam. If they say they need you to buy gift cards to send to them and they will send them back, it’s a scam!”Alexxa
“There are a lot of liars. Like, a lot. Never ever trust someone who starts out the conversation with how much money they are going to give you. There are so many scams and even more men who just like messing with you or that hope that you will send them pictures in return for empty promises.”Moira
The Sex Pest
Yup, these are the fake sugar daddies who are just looking for one thing and one thing only: sex.
“You will meet SO many different types of men. Some will genuinely want to get to know you for the intelligent, fierce and powerful woman you are. They will be fascinated by your brain and your stories and the life you live.
But some will have eyes for one thing and one thing only – your body. They wear lenses that morph every girl they encounter into a piece of meat, and boy, are they arrogant.”The Classy Prude
“Some men are just horny buggers and to them I say get a prostitute. They ask you stupid question like can you find a friend to have a threesome, what can I get for this amount of money, would you be ok with having love-eggs in you when we go to dinner so I can play with the remote, they only care about using you for sex.”A British Sugar Baby
“There are THOUSANDS of men on sugaring sites who are looking to get a more innocent, girl-next-door type (excuse the pun) bang for their buck. This is NOT sugaring. These men do not care about your long term well being, are probably not even successful themselves, and are honestly just looking for a cheap prostitute. ”Cee
“When starting out on this journey, I wish I would’ve known just how rude and degrading these men can be. Obviously I didn’t expect roses and sunshine from everyone I came across, but I definitely didn’t expect some man I didn’t know to tell me I worthless without him and that I was a useless whore (all because I didn’t send nudes by the way). I also didn’t know just how many sweet and amazing men I would meet along the way.”MJ
“Some Daddies do NOT want to be your friend. Believe me when I say I’m not blind to misogyny – I’d consider myself a feminist – but I was not prepared for the sheer amount of disrespect I would get online for not finding someone to my liking. At first it was quite upsetting being called every obscenity under the sun for simply saying “no thank you” but now I just brush it off and hit the block button!”Ellie
It Takes Time & Effort
“It’s not as easy as the media makes it seem. There are countless documentaries out there about sugar dating, and the way it’s portrayed makes it look like something fun to do in your free time.
In reality, it’s similar to a real relationship in the amount of time it takes up. You spend hours looking for your right match, and go on countless first dates hoping that things will click. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not something you just pick up. It’s a time investment.”Candice
“I thought “Oh, I can just make a profile this week and get a sugar daddy as soon as this week or next week.” I was so beyond wrong! It took me 2 months to finally get and meet up with my first sugar daddy because when I think about it now, these men probably get dozens if not hundreds of messages from sugar babies. And these sugar daddies want their perfect match and know they are spending their hard earned money on someone they think deserves it.”Noelle
Do You Have to Sleep with Your Sugar Daddy?
In short: the truth is that the majority of sugar babies are intimate with their sugar daddies. Here’s how one sugar baby put it:
“This job is 100% paid companionship INCLUDING intimacy in almost all cases.”u/BunBunPurrPaws
For many sugar babies, the sexual part is not a chore. Some sugar babies even describe it as one of the best parts of being a sugar baby…
“It’s changed my sex life. In my own private sex life, I have found it quite hard to relax fully and enjoy sex with my partners. But with a sugar date it’s completely opposite, I have cum 90% of the and the other 10% was literally because I was probably too tired.”The British Sugar Baby
“Sex with older men is way different than sex with men in my age group. Some have learned all the secrets to get you off and when you find that sugar daddy, hold onto him and never let him go! If he’s spent the last several decades perfecting his craft, you will love every moment and sex with younger men will never match up.”Moira
“It helps keep me regularly sexually active, I get to go out every so often, and there is always someone to look to when I’m feeling lonely that I know will reciprocate!”Alexxa
That being said, it’s important to note that sugar relationships are as diverse as the people participating in them. That means there are sugar babies who choose not to sleep with sugar daddies. Just keep in mind that finding a platonic sugar daddy can take longer and you will have to be stronger in enforcing your boundaries.
Here’s what a couple platonic sugar babies had to say about their experience…
“I get to go out to places every week around the city I live in. I get to meet intelligent, handsome men that actually want to support and care for me.”Veronica
“It’s a lot easier to find less conventional sugar arrangements on SugarDaddie because the user base is so huge. I’ve had three long-term arrangements not including the one that I’m in now. They were all long distance. Because I live in a small southern town, arrangements are actually really hard to come by and to maintain discreetly, so long distance has always made sense. In my second arrangement, I never even met my daddy!”Joli
“Time and time again, you’re going to have to stick to your guns — A LOT. I have always been a platonic sugar baby and want to keep it that way, so I’m upfront about it in my profile.
However, that doesn’t stop a POT from asking if sex will be on the table, or if I would be interested in xyz, or from trying to see how far I’d go physically when we would meet.
In the beginning, I was naïve and thought that people would respect my boundaries once I set them, but I soon learned that if I wasn’t going to enforce my own limits, no one would. It took me a bit to understand how to be diplomatic (but firm) when establishing my own boundaries with a potential sugar daddy, but it was a valuable lesson to learn.”Anita
The most important thing to note is that sex does not have to be on the table unless you want it to be. As the sugar baby, you decide. That’s one of the most crucial things to take away from this article.
“LADIES!!! Only do what you are comfortable with!!! Sex does not equal money and money does not equal sex! If you take away anything, remember that. Always be bold and confident about what you will and won’t do.”Dulce
And remember: a good sugar relationship is one that is about much more than sex.
“A lot of the sugar daddies out there are just looking for someone to listen to them. To keep things fun, we do things other than sex – because contrary to popular belief, sugaring isn’t all about sex! We go out for movies and baseball games, we listen to music together, and sometimes we hang out with each other’s family and friends.”Piper
That’s why it’s so important to find a sugar daddy you actually like…
One Rule for a Good Sugar Baby Life…
If there’s one solid golden rule for a good sugar baby life, it is this: choose a sugar daddy you actually like. It’s the one thing that most successful sugar babies can agree on…
“I was lucky to meet a sugar daddy who I genuinely liked as a person and I realized that that is the key: find someone you actually like and who has the funds to be your sugar daddy. My mistake was thinking that the two were mutually exclusive. They’re not. Keep looking until you find the dude that meets both criteria.”Emma
“Don’t have an arrangement with a man that you can’t stand. It will never work out. Be in an arrangement where you are excited to see his reaction when you step out of the bathroom in that sexy lingerie.”Moira
What are Some Tips to Find a Sugar Daddy?
When it comes to finding a sugar daddy, online is the best way to go. In fact, the majority of sugar babies have met their sugar daddies through one or more of the best sugar daddy sites.
Just keep in mind that simply setting up a profile isn’t enough – you need to make sure your sugar baby profile is top of its class.
Here are what sugar babies had to say…
Be Smart About Profile Photos
“The photos you put on your profile are extremely important. Pretty much every single person who messaged me commented that I had a great smile.
Also keep in mind, your photos are your first impression. If you want the kind of daddy who is looking for a sweet, young girl, project that kind of image. If you want someone who is extremely intellectual and might be able to help you out professionally, create that image. If you want someone who likes to travel and will pay for your travels, have some traveling photos.”Cee
“My profile picture is me on the front of a boat with a big smile on my face. I know looks play a massive part and so I am in a bikini but I mostly wanted to portray my fun side.”Aly
“My profile picture is a goofy picture of me camping, and shows no skin. I think that this shows more of my personality and helps Sugar Daddies to see that I am down to earth and wouldn’t make great arm candy. It also looks different from the usual profile picture, which I hope attracts the kind of men that are right for me.”Lindsey
“Of course a cute picture or two does hurt your odds, but pick it to attract the kind of man you want; if you want a gentleman don’t go for anything too revealing (save those for later on in the relationship) but if you want a bad boy type then by all mean get your cleavage all up in them photos.”Ellie
Don’t Skimp on Your Bio
“What makes me standout is definitely my profile. Sure, dazzling pictures catch the eye, but the profile is what gets them to reach out to you. I would recommend having a profile that captures your actual personality, it makes you feel real and most sugar daddies like real.”Stevie
“This sounds obvious, but the way that I wrote my profile is important. It took the focus off of me and emphasized the interests and motivations of the type of Sugar Daddy that I was seeking. I get fewer views than when I started, but most of the men who view me now message me.”Georgina
Is It Safe to Be a Sugar Baby?
Being a sugar baby is as safe as you make it. Here’s how one sugar baby put it:
“The big difference between being a sugar baby and a ‘straight’ job is that you control everything, which also means that all the risks are on you to mitigate to the best of your ability. You pick who to meet and make an arrangement with, you set your hours, you get cash to do with as you please.”u/BunBunPurrPaws
The sugar baby lifestyle doesn’t come with a job description, safety checks, or supervisors to guide to through the process. That’s why it’s important that you follow basic sugar baby safety tips to keep yourself safe and sane.
Here’s what a couple sugar babies have to say on the matter…
“One major thing that I wish I knew was to not trust everyone I came across! Also, to not travel far, and to make sure you have a safe way home. I had lots of negative experiences, one time I was stuck an hour away from home with no money, no phone, and no help.”Casey
“Meet in public places, and never go to his house if you don’t know him! Your safety should be your number one priority and if you ever feel unsafe, trust your intuition and get out of there.”Candice
“Don’t meet in a private setting (I knew this but ignored it) DON’T IGNORE IT. Don’t use your real cell phone number. Get a Google number and download hangouts for free calls & texts. Always share your location with a friend you can trust!”Dulce
So What’s It Like Being a Sugar Baby?
All in all, like any “job” – it’s a mixed bag. But most sugar babies find that the pros outweigh the cons. Here are some last parting words from real life sugar babies…
“The sugar baby life can be as trying as it is fun, it can be both exciting and exhausting. The most important thing is to look after yourself, know what you want and don’t lose focus of your personal goals and beliefs.”Becky
“You have to remember these men are real and genuine and they have feelings. Did you hear that? FEELINGS. They’re not just an ATM. They worked hard for that money and you should not expect handouts…it should be a friendship that develops into a relationship where you BOTH spoil one another. If this isn’t your reasoning for an arrangement, you’re going to end up unhappy.”MJ
“Be genuine and realistic. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not and most importantly, don’t lose yourself. I’m the same person outside of sugar dating that I always have been. In a sense, I treat it like a job and outside of “work” hours, I live a normal, average life.”Stevie
“While I would obviously say that the gifts and money are a definite plus of being a sugar baby it wouldn’t be my top reason. I think the world experience I have gained from speaking to people, trying new things with them and traveling to new places far outweighs the monetary value of the gifts they give.”Ellie
And there you have it – sugar baby lifestyles, described by sugar babies themselves. Hope that paints a much more thorough picture of what the sugar baby life can be.
Got any experiences of your own to share? Let us know in the comments!