Hi everyone! My name is Anita, and I come from the great San Francisco Bay Area! I am a 23-year-old college graduate, a diehard environmentalist, and a huge musical theatre dork.
I sort of accidentally fell into the sugaring world during college, left it for a bit, and am now getting back into the sugar bowl as a young working professional.
A unique part of my story is that I am a sugar baby AND I also have a (very wonderful, very understanding) boyfriend! My journey has taken a lot of weird twists and turns and has been stressful at times, but has also been very fun and rewarding.
I first started sugaring halfway out of curiosity, halfway out of a need for money. I come from a fairly low-income family, so I was able to snag a lot of scholarships to pay for college, but not much else.
My biggest passion (other than the environment!) is musical theatre, which can be an expensive hobby — I needed to be able to afford voice lessons, dance lessons, headshots, gas money to and from shows and auditions, dancewear…the list goes on.
I saw sugaring as a way that would help me finance my acting without pulling me too much away from my schoolwork.
However, now that I am in the working world, I have seen another aspect of the sugaring world that appeals to me: networking. Having access to men who are in the prime of their careers and establishing those connections is a HUGE plus for me as a young professional.
And, as a bonus, men in the prime of their careers can usually afford front-row tickets to some of the best performances in the city — and who doesn’t want that?
Time and time again, you’re going to have to stick to your guns — A LOT. I have always been a platonic sugar baby and want to keep it that way, so I’m upfront about it in my profile and when I describe what I want out of arrangements and what I can offer.
However, that doesn’t stop a POT from asking if sex will be on the table, or if I would be interested in xyz, or from trying to see how far I’d go physically when we would meet.
In the beginning, I was naïve and thought that people would respect my boundaries once I set them, but I soon learned that if I wasn’t going to enforce my own limits, no one would. It took me a bit to understand how to be diplomatic (but firm) when establishing my own boundaries with a potential sugar daddy, but it was a valuable lesson to learn.
So my first sugar daddy was somewhat of an accidental find — he was actually my best friend’s grandfather! While my bestie was in college, his grandmother passed away. Since he went out of the country for uni, he asked me to check in on his grandfather every week or so and make sure he was doing okay.
So, every week, I would go over to his grandfather’s house and essentially be an informal therapist — we would go see a show in the city, have dinner, go for a walk, or simply sit and talk about his wife.
He encouraged me to pursue my acting and would directly pay for a lot of the costs associated with that (headshots, dance lessons, the like). We continued like this until he decided to move closer to his children, but we are still good friends even today. I was a sugar baby before I even knew it was a thing!
After my first experience, I decided to try out actual sugar dating and set up an account on Seeking Arrangement.
I quickly met my second sugar daddy on there — he was an executive in the environmental field, politically active, and loved the outdoors like me.
I was initially intimidated by his profile and all of his amazing achievements, but I figured I had nothing to lose, so I decided to message him. A week later, I found myself sitting across from him at a fancy restaurant and negotiating the finer details of our arrangement!
We had a lot of fun together — we would play with his dog, go to basketball games, enjoy front-row seats at the opera. I think that the fact that I had such a wide variety of interests and could speak intelligently on so many different subjects was appealing to him. He also said he liked that I messaged first — it showed that I had guts and could take initiative!
The networking — I absolutely love that I can create connections with powerful, smart, driven men who have such interesting careers. I find that they are more than happy (eager, even) to talk about their work and offer wisdom to someone younger.
These connections can be very valuable later on — not only was my second sugar daddy a wonderful mentor, but he helped snag me an internship using his connections! Although I think my resume is already stellar, I would not have been able to get my foot in the door without his help.
Do something you wouldn’t otherwise do! If you aren’t well-versed in sports but your sugar daddy loves basketball, go to a game with him.
If neither of you has tried Ethiopian food, go to your local restaurant. If he has wanted to try salsa for forever but never takes the time to sign up for classes, take the initiative and make it a date!
There is something exciting and fun about trying something new together and breaking the mold of the mundane.
Oh, man. I have two pieces of advice that I really want to give aspiring babies that I wish I had known myself:
1. Be more than a pretty face — beauty and youth reach diminishing returns very quickly. Especially if you are trying to be a platonic sugar baby, the most valuable thing you do for yourself in this world (and in life really) is developing intellectual and emotional maturity.
Read some good books, listen to music, get involved in politics, meditate, find something you are passionate about. The more you develop yourself and your ambitions, the more a sugar daddy respect you as a person, and the more he will want to spend time with you.
2. You will burn out. You will burn out. You will burn out. There will come a point in your sugaring life where you will hate what you are doing.
Maybe nothing is turning up, maybe you have encountered a lot of disrespectful men, maybe you’ve begun to doubt yourself and how attractive/smart/valuable you are, and it’ll start to affect you. You’ll get tired, angry, short-tempered, disappointed. That’s where you need to allow yourself to take a break.
Stop searching for a bit, hang out with friends and family, take up a new hobby, go hiking, allow yourself a life beyond sugar dating. At the end of the day, your needs come first, and if you take care of yourself you’ll be much better off in the long-run.