Hello, all sugar babes. I’m what you would call a mature sugar baby. My name is Hattie and at 56 years old, I’m definitely not the average sugar baby. I’m single and live alone in the UK.
I’ve had a good career, amazing children and disastrous marriages followed by endless searching and dating from general online dating websites.
In the process, I’ve kissed an enormous amount of frogs and experienced some dire dates. I want to share a little insight from my experiences in this bizarrely fun world of sugar dating.
WhY Did You Become a Sugar baby?
I came to realise I needed to be more in control. I needed to be able find a different kind of ‘relationship’ where I would achieve the satisfaction I needed – financially, sexually, and emotionally.
A relationship with the right amount of wining, dining, and companionship. But most importantly without having my heart broken and continually being treated like ‘garbage.’
My surfing around the net led me to discover the sugar baby world. I quickly realised how different this world is and how much more secure for me.
My only goals were to have a little company and be taken to some nice places. I also wanted to receive a financial reward for my time. And most importantly, to achieve all this within my own rules – albeit whilst the sugar daddy felt he held control.
What’s it Like to Be a Mature Sugar Baby?
My unique experience is that I made ‘sugar’ entirely work for me and not the man. I made my list of rules. I made a list of what I wanted out of it and just as importantly what I didn’t want. The list is endless but really it’s all about protecting me as there’s no way I want to get hurt in this.
A mature sugar baby can offer a lot that a younger woman cannot (no disrespect). A mature sugar baby can learn too from all the experience she has had along the way and then provide a perfect scenario for her sugar daddy.
So for example, when they first contact me and tell me they are married, my reply is always “that’s your business…not mine.”
I also never ask any questions about their home life, wife, children. I don’t need that knowledge in my head. And I never initiate contact in any form.
Actually, I reply only when they contact me. And very importantly, I make sure they know I will never be any threat to them – their home or work life. This discretion and trust seems to be very important to sugar daddies.
By making the sugar daddy feel safe and comfortable, he gets everything he wants without any ‘hassle’ at all and that’s really what they want – a no hassle relationship.
In return, he will wine, dine, and give quite generously.
What do you wish you’d known when you were first starting out?
I wish I had been able to deal with the ‘finance’ before meeting, at least partially. It was the one subject I didn’t know how to approach before nor even at the first meeting and a subject the most potential sugar daddies equally wanted to avoid.
Editor’s note: A lot – seriously, A LOT – of sugar babies feel this way. Which is unfortunate because this is one of the biggest perks of being a sugar baby!
What is the Best Site for a Mature Sugar baby?
I met my sugar daddies on Seeking.com.
This site lends itself to the more ‘business like’ agreement, with each party drawing up an agreement, boundaries laid out and rules agreed upon, which suited my lifestyle.
Do you have any profile or online dating tips for aspiring sugar babies?
Rather than going for a long descriptive profile, I opted for something short, sweet and to the point. It was still something catchy so if they wanted to ask more and they were genuinely interested, they would ask.
This approach worked for me as there are only limited men who are interested in a mature woman.
What’s your favorite thing about being a sugar baby?
My favourite thing about being a sugar babe – I love the whole anticipation, the getting ready, the dressing in nice clothes and dressing with an aim to please as men are such visual creatures.
I love being on the arm of a well dressed gent who has a certain ‘air’ about him. A man who knows how to treat a woman with respect and has a glint of ‘desire’ in his eyes.
I also love the appreciation, the rewards and the gifts that my sugar daddy is ready to bestow.
How do you keep your sugar relationship spicy/fun/interesting?
To keep it spicy and interesting , I never throw all the eggs in the basket at once. I keep lots in reserve – find a ‘hook’ into the sugar daddy sexuality and run with it. I keep the wording in texts seductive and enticing with the promise of more. All of this creates another visual scenario in his imagination.
Never let it become mundane or boring.
To make it unique I find a ‘hook’ and slowly reel the guy in by short emails, keeping the ‘hook’ going, growing and expanding, suggestive and enticing.
Whilst being in an arrangement, I have always kept my own life going but completely separate. I never talk about it unless asked and then I keep it short and sweet, just enough to make it intriguing and keep some mystery.
Each guy is different and sometimes it can be hard to find a way in. Often guys who are interested in a mature woman are around the same age and they just want a little down time.
My sugar daddies have all been married so I read as much as I could on sugar daddies and affairs. And I put it all together, creating something desirable – an escape, an alternative from their everyday life.
A favourite ‘hook’ that I have found most successful is along the lines of ‘tantra’ – study this art and lure him in. Do it right and you’ll find the poor guy will be putty in your hands.
What advice would you give aspiring sugar babies?
I never ask for anything but in general conversation I will casually drop in things I particularly like doing. For me, these are spa days, pampering, treatments. If he’s a good sugar daddy, sure enough these things will be freely given.
And I, for my part, remember to be full of surprise and gratitude within the realms of a mature woman.
My advice is to do your research and keep on researching. Keep him hooked and he will fall over himself with gratitude and appreciation. But keep your heart locked away and don’t get emotionally close.
At all times keep yourself safe.
And take it for what it is – fun. But make sure you get what you need from it.
Most of all…enjoy.