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What Do Sugar Daddies Want? 5 Things Sugar Daddies Look for

What do sugar daddies want? If you’re a smart sugar baby, this is one of the first questions you’ll ask upon entering the sugar world.

Because a sugar relationship is first and foremost mutually beneficial. And you know what you’ll be getting from your sugar daddy. But what does he want from you?

We don’t know your sugar daddy. But we’ve met enough men in the sugar bowl to know a couple things that all sugar daddies seem to want in a sugar baby.

Read on to find out exactly what sugar daddies look for when it comes to a sugar baby.

Do Sugar Daddies Want Beauty?

Of course they do. The thing is, though, every sugar daddy has a different idea of what qualifies as beautiful. And it’s not as simple as the media makes it out to be

Every sugar daddy website seems to display the generically gorgeous girl as the prototypical sugar baby. But do you have to look like her to get a little sugar?

Read: What Do Sugar Babies Look Like? It’s Not What You Think

Not really. The truth is – sugar daddies come in many shapes and sizes. And so do sugar babies. Sugar daddies have varying tastes and there is someone out there who will want what you have. Here’s a quick snapshot of what various sugar daddies have said their ideal sugar baby looks like…

Slim. B cup. No tattoos. Long or mid length hair. Preference to redheads.


I’m latino and love thicc women: big booty, big chest, thic thighs. Yummm 🙂


Slim with curves in the right places and a megawatt smile, and if she has tattoos they should be well done ones. Height, hair color, eye color race/ethnicity, etc don’t really play a part in my preferences. Most important is a kind, creative, and intelligent personality.


I prefer women of color with natural curves.


You know that woman bartender in the fetish club who has all the piercings, tattoos, black hair, black jeans, and some sort of heavy metal tank top? Yea her. Her please.


I look for honesty, chubby or thin I don’t care, race I don’t care, but I want a great attitude and personality. That makes meets more fun!


Tall and curvy, 25-40, modest outfits, no nose rings or caterpillar eyelashes. Picture backgrounds show a neat setting, no clothes and garbage thrown around, real furniture.


As you can see, it varies. For every sugar daddy who wants a designer blonde, there’s going to be another who prefers a wild redhead. Or a bookish brunette. A vegan hippie type. Or a pixie type. A curvy knockout. Or a…you get the picture.

Do Sugar Daddies Want Sex?

It’s fair to say that the vast majority of sugar daddies do want sex. After all, sugar daddies are men. Men are known to like sex.

The real question is: do sugar daddies just want sex?

And the answer is a resounding no. Sex is not the main reason why sugar daddies want sugar babies. Of course, sex is important but if sex was the main thing sugar daddies were after, there are much easier, cheaper methods to get it. Sugar daddies are not fools, they know that.

Here’s what sugar daddies have to say about the sexual aspect of sugar dating…

I Sugar Date because I want to date a woman that would normally be out of my league in Vanilla Dating. If all I wanted was sex with a beautiful woman, I would find an escort. Escorts are cheaper to date, easier to find, less time consuming and easier to connect with.

I prefer to Sugar Date because I prefer to have an emotional connection and an ongoing arrangement. I hope to build a friendship and not make each other feel like it is only business. I do expect sex on most dates, but not on every date. If she doesn’t genuinely like to have sex with me on most dates, we probably aren’t a good match.


Sex with an incredibly beautiful and desirable young woman is an absolutely huge motivator. But if that were the only motivator, we could find that in the most attractive escorts. We’re also looking for a relationship and some amount of emotional intimacy, in a context that is not a service-for-pay one. Most of us want emotional intimacy but not the full blown romantic commitment of vanilla.

The connection satisfies us emotionally, the sex and her beauty satisfy us physically, we like having someone to take care of and mentor and laugh with, and we like that we get all this without a subtext of “we are either moving towards marriage or we should end it”.


What I look for is great sex between two people that enjoy being with one another physically. An escort may be a skilled lover, but is unlikely to ever make it feel like an organic sexual encounter.

A real connection, in that we care about one another and are interested in one another

Very clear expectations about how far things can go and how far they can’t go. I’m not going to marry a sugar baby (already am married); she’s not going to expect it. We’re not riding off together. I can teach her, share with her, offer her generosity, be kind to her. And that’s where the line is drawn.


In order to make a sugar relationship work, a sugar baby needs to bring a lot more to the table than just sex. Chemistry and emotional connection is a huge one.

But what sort of qualities inspire that connection? Let’s delve into what sugar daddies are looking for.

What are Sugar Daddies Looking for?

The sugar world and its relationships are as nuanced as, well, any relationships can be. That means there are a lot of sugar daddies, all searching for various qualities in a sugar baby.

Here are some examples of what sugar daddies say they want in an ideal sugar baby…

Attraction. Yes, we need to be attracted to you, but we also want you to be attracted to us. If not for our looks, for our intelligence, maturity, confidence, experience, generosity, humor, etc. The best, and most successful, sugar babies are genuinely attracted to their sugar daddies.

Attention: We want to be a priority in your life (A priority, not THE priority) and we will make you a priority in our lives. Don’t regularly cancel or re-schedule dates, be present when we are together and don’t spend all your time on your phone, engage in conversations, etc.

Affection: We often are looking for the affection we are missing in our lives, both giving and receiving…holding hands, touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, initiating sex, etc.

Appreciation: Show appreciation for what we do and we will want to do more for you. Say thank you when we do something for you and show your appreciation by doing little things for us.


Being present in the date. Being attentive, being affectionate. Those are the basics.

Being a good communicator. The more you tell us what you want and feel. The more we will respond to that. Vice versa.


Charm, intelligence, passion, affection, kindness, adventurousness, drive, and creativity are some of the things I look for, as well as having your shit together (not flaky, punctual, life isn’t a dumpster fire).


Femininity – friendly and being non-confrontational nor having the desire to be argumentative. She always speaks in a soft, sweet. On the rare occasion, when she does get upset about something going on, it’s so out of character that it’s cute.


The first, major, and maybe to the exclusion of any other skill, is punctuality. I am so fucking tired of waiting for sugar babies.


Responsible. Non combative.


I want an emotional connection, a real friendship where we care about each other. I want amazing sex with someone young and beautiful who also enjoys sex.

I don’t want a forever relationship, I want them to know marriage and permanence isn’t on the table so I’m not misleading them. I enjoy being able to make her life better, I have money and can significantly improve her life (as she significantly improves mine).

I don’t like “dating” in the sense of weeks and months going back and forth. I’m in no rush (in sugar terms) but that’s already light years faster than vanilla. I like clear, direct communications. I like that we can both be open about what we can give and expect from each other.


Sugar dating allows me to be with a woman who is out of my league. Sugar dating also allows me to avoid the “trajectory” of traditional relationships. “When are we moving in together? When are you going to propose? Where is this going?”


So what do sugar daddies want? A sugar baby who is:

  • Interested and interesting
  • Feminine and non-combative
  • Respectful and responsible
  • Appreciative with good manners
  • Attractive, sexy, charming, and sophisticated
  • Sweet and affectionate
  • Communicative and a good listener
  • Comfortable with a lack of commitment
  • Trustworthy and honest

And the list goes on and on.

The truth is that sugar daddies want…what they want. Each one is different. That being said there are some overlapping traits that come up again and again.

So What do Sugar Daddies Want?

While the nitty gritty of what sugar daddies are looking for varies widely, the most important traits and qualities can be boiled down to a simple list.

So here is a little list of what the majority of sugar daddies would say they want in a sugar baby.

#1. Discretion

There are many different ways to describe this quality. Discretion relates to privacy and the ability to remain silent about something. But most importantly, it’s the sensibility to know what must remain a secret without the need to be told.

Some sugar daddies are married and looking for fun on the side. Not an entangled mess that costs them their lives and families.

Other sugar daddies are in high profile positions and having their private affairs come into public scrutiny could cost them their jobs, their status in life and even their families. Remember Spitzer? Weiner? Rest assured that high profile sugar daddies do.

Even for sugar daddies who own their own business or are autonomous through some other means, the possibility of drama associated with a sugar relationship is not something they want to ever deal with.

It’s important for a sugar daddy that he be able to trust his sugar baby. Discretion is an important part of this trust. Which brings us to…

#2. Trustworthiness

Sex. Money. Good times. All these are easy. What doesn’t come cheap is trust. If you can establish trust with a potential sugar daddy, you’ll be differentiating yourself from 99% of the sugar babies out there.

Trust is something that should be established early on. Are you authentic about who you are and what you’re looking for? Can you be trusted to behave appropriately in various settings? Are you trustworthy enough to call when you say you’ll call and show up for dates on time?

The Internet is a place that people flock to but still view with a certain amount of distrust. And this is magnified when it comes to the sugar dating scene. There are shady, scammy people on these sites and trust us when we say that every bona fide sugar daddy is acutely aware of what it could cost them.

So if you can be trustworthy, discreet and a generally nice, person – it’ll make you stand out among the crowd.

#3. Safety

Obviously, no sugar daddy wants to be scammed. But concerns of safety extend to other areas as well. A sugar baby should lead a low-risk lifestyle in order to attract a quality sugar daddy.

This means no drugs, no unprotected sex in random fits of promiscuity, and generally staying away from high-risk behavior. You want to be an attractive prospect to a sugar daddy and living a low-risk lifestyle is key.

#4. The Pretty Side of Relationships

Relationships are great. The butterflies, the intimacy, the laughter, sex, shared secrets, inside jokes, the coziness of snuggling, having someone to confide in, the comfort of having someone who gets you…We all know the benefits. We all love the benefits.

But it’s not all perks. There are also downsides that come with relationships. The compromises, power struggles, obligations, blaming, nagging, resentment, guilt trips – you get the picture.

And this is exactly the reason why so many sugar daddies look for sugar babies. They want all the perks of a vanilla relationship without the drawbacks. So much so that they’re willing to pay for it.

#5. Value

This concept is expressed in so many different ways, but it seems to be on every genuine sugar daddy’s list of what they want in a sugar baby.

Sugar daddies did not amass their fortunes by making bad investments so don’t expect him to choose you if you are a bad investment. Sugar daddies want sugar babies who will be able to provide value to their lives.

What sort of value? It varies from sugar daddy to sugar daddy. But the important point is that what you provide for him is as important as what he provides for you.

A sugar daddy might be looking for excitement, a partner-in-crime, wild nights, a guilt-free girlfriend experience, or a non-judgmental partner to let loose with. Perhaps he enjoys your youthful exuberance and energy to make him feel young again. Maybe you make him laugh, maybe he loves it when you listen to him vent about his work.

Whatever it is, a good sugar baby will find out what her sugar daddy wants and provide it.

How about you? Has your sugar baby experience led to any conclusions about what genuine sugar daddies want? Share your insights in the comments!

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