Hello, anonymous strangers, friends, and maybe even relatives? I’m a 20 year old NYC sugar baby and a recent college grad.
I got into sugaring half out of curiosity and half out of financial need. I have a job but NYC is the most expensive city in the world to live in. And I wanted to put some money away for savings.
My coworker told me about how she used to sugar when she was in her 20s and her advice to me was: “If you’re going to try it, try it when you’re young.”
So I signed myself up not really knowing what to expect and was really surprised with what I found…
What do you wish you had known Before Becoming a Sugar Baby?
Simple: Sugaring is NOT prostitution. Within just minutes of creating my profile, I had many men message me asking for a price. Or worse, offering one themselves.
Naturally, as I had just started out I had no idea to expect.
There are THOUSANDS of men on sugaring sites who are looking to get a more innocent, girl-next-door type (excuse the pun) bang for their buck. This is NOT sugaring.
These men do not care about your long term well being, are probably not even successful themselves, and are honestly just looking for a cheap prostitute.
To be totally honest, I made the mistake of thinking that was okay. It seemed like such an easy way to make a quick couple hundred. It did not feel good. I promise no matter how tempting the quick cash might be, it makes so much more sense to make a little bit more of a time investment that will be way more financially and emotionally rewarding.
Do not get taken advantage of! Take your time, talk to a few people, and wait until you are sure the person you are meeting understands—and respects—your needs.
Where and did you meet your sugar daddy?
I met all of my sugar daddies off of Seeking.com. As an NYC sugar baby, I’m in a good location as there are plenty of sugar daddies in my vicinity.
Just remember that the photos you put on your sugar baby profile are extremely important. Pretty much every single person who messaged me commented that I had a great smile.
Also keep in mind, your photos are your first impression. If you want the kind of daddy who is looking for a sweet, young girl, project that kind of image. If you want someone who is extremely intellectual and might be able to help you out professionally, create that image. If you want someone who likes to travel and will pay for your travels, have some traveling photos.
Putting your interests and hobbies on your profile description will also save you a lot of time by warding off the kind of people you don’t want.
Also, feel free to ignore messages. A hello does not warrant a response all the time. Maybe talk to a lot of men to figure out what you want but after that, buckle down. Focus on what you want, and don’t waste your time.
What’s your favorite thing about being a sugar baby?
I personally am not one for designer bags, expensive jewelry, etc. I currently have two sugar daddies. One gives me a cash allowance, and the other just pays for some of my expenses.
It’s nice to not have to pay for basic things like new furniture, books, art supplies, some workout supplements to maintain my figure, and so on.
The money I would’ve spent on those goes to my savings or things like my gym membership. Basically, things I don’t want a sugar daddy paying for in case things go sour. I wouldn’t want any complications in continuing my own life.
The other one I meet only once a week or so for nice dinners, wine, and great conversation. He’s pretty old and is not looking for intimacy, just company. We have a platonic sugar relationship based on companionship. Even better, I learn a lot from talking with him about politics history, etc.
In addition to knowledge he also gives me the life tips of a wiser person on relationships, money management, etc. I get a relatively small monthly allowance but it truly feels like a little mentorship with free dinners. I’m not complaining! Remember that you can gain more than just money from your sugar daddy!
How do you keep your sugar relationship spicy/fun/interesting?
Sugar daddies are, at the end of the day, lonely people. I like to keep the relationship by taking notes when they mention they like something and giving them a small gift relevant to that.
Nothing extravagant, just things like favorite chocolates, a little painting, or something else that is very personal and is more about telling them that you listen than the gift itself.
They are always so touched. And it only takes me 2 seconds to take a note of it when they mention it. Once I bought my sugar daddy a set of house slippers because he had mentioned he kept meaning to buy them but always found himself forgetting. He was so touched he gave me $100 on the spot to “reimburse” me.
The slippers cost me about $10 and I gained $90 and the utmost affection from my sugar daddy.
What advice would you give aspiring sugar babies?
The best advice I could give aspiring sugar babies is to be more or less yourself. Sugar babying is actually more commitment than most people think.
Even when you are not physically with him, he may text you and you have to worry about how to present yourself to him.
It will be easier to maintain good relations with him if you do not have to lie or pretend too much to be his sugar baby. That can easily create resentment. For example, if you do not like to drink, don’t lie and say you do. It will create pressure for you to drink when you meet, and create a lot of stress.
Of course there may be some white lies here and there in any SB/SD relationship. But try to set yourself up for success by making the time you spend together enjoyable for you as well.