The SD/SB relationship seems like a straightforward one. A sugar daddy meets a sugar baby. Sparks fly. And boom – sugar relationship.
But in reality, there are so many factors in a SD/SB relationship that goes beyond simple attraction.
Yup, we’re talking logistics.
Here’s what you need to know in order to set up the perfect SD/SB relationship.
What is a SD/SB Relationship?
The SD stands for “sugar daddy.” Here’s an in-depth definition of what a sugar daddy is. But for brevity’s sake, a sugar daddy is simply a wealthier man who financially provides for a sugar baby in return for her time, attention, and companionship.
The SB stands for “sugar baby.” Here’s the exact meaning of what a sugar daddy is. But for simplicity’s sake, a sugar baby is an attractive woman or a man who takes care of a sugar daddy emotional and intimate needs in exchange for financial benefits.
So a SD/SB relationship is simply the relationship that exists between a sugar daddy and a sugar baby. It can be called a mutually beneficial arrangement, a sugar relationship, sugar dating or even just an arrangement for short.
The most important thing to remember about a SD/SB relationship is this: It can look like anything you want. The sugar world is diverse. So diverse that if you can imagine it, it exists in the sugar world.
It all comes down to finding something that works for both sugar partners.
Here’s exactly how to go about doing just that.
The First Step to an Ideal SD/SB Relationship
The very first step to having an ideal SD/SB relationship is simply knowing what “ideal” means for you. Here are three things to consider…
Decide What You Want
This comes down to your main goals and expectations? In essence, what’s your primary reason for becoming a sugar daddy or a sugar baby?
Perhaps you’re a married sugar daddy. You primary goal might be a genuinely no-strings-attached arrangement with an attractive woman who is completely onboard with the fact that the relationship will not lead to commitment.
Or maybe you’re a sugar baby who is busy with school and a full-time job. You want financial help with tuition as well as living expenses so you can reduce your hours at the job and focus fully on school. Gifts and other luxuries might be nice, but they are not your main goal.
There are a variety of sugar baby and sugar daddy expectations. The most important thing is to know what you are primarily in the sugar bowl for.
Know What You Can Offer
For sugar daddies, this is mainly knowing the allowance range that you’re comfortable with providing. But it doesn’t stop there. It’s also good to consider whether you want to provide other gifts, conveniences, and luxuries on top of the allowance or not. Will there be shopping sprees? A property for the sugar baby to stay in? A car for the sugar baby to drive?
All of these are completely optional but worth considering.
Also have a think about what you can offer in terms of emotional intimacy and/or commitment. If it’s a NSA type of arrangement that you absolutely don’t want to lead to a committed relationship, it’s good to be clear about that.
For sugar babies, it’s about knowing how much time you can spend with a sugar daddy as well as what you’d be comfortable doing with a sugar daddy. Are you looking for a purely platonic arrangement or one with sexual intimacy.
It’s also worth considering what you bring to the table. Not everything, but the main dish. Are you an eye-catching sort of attractive? Do you have a funny, charismatic personality? Are you an affectionate, nurturing and empathetic type who can spoil a sugar daddy with TLC?
Know Your Boundaries
It’s also important to know your own boundaries before you go about setting up a SD/SB relationship. This can include everything from:
- Keeping your social media accounts to yourself
- Sexual boundaries and limits
- Being unavailable on certain days or during certain hours
- Keeping personal details out of the sugar relationship
In extreme cases, even going by an alias the entirety of the SD/SB relationship. The important thing is that if you have a boundary, you need to know what it is so you can convey it early on.
How to Set Up a SD/SB Relationship
Now that you have a better idea of what you’re looking for and what you’re not – it’s time to sort the details.
Yup, it’s logistics time.
This may sound boring but it’s a crucial step to clarify expectations about what the ideal arrangement will actually look like.
Here are the things to be clear on:
How often do you want to meet? It can be anything from multiple times a week, twice a month, once a month, to every once in awhile when a sugar daddy is visiting a sugar baby’s hometown.
For travel-related sugar relationships, it can even be a couple times a year, when a sugar baby flies out to meet a sugar daddy in a specific location.
Time Spent Together
How much time will you spend together? And more importantly, what will you doing during those times? It can be meeting for a couple hours for a dinner date or to grab drinks.
It can also range from quick get-togethers just for intimacy to spending an entire day together. Overnights and even trips abroad are possible, too.
What is your preferred allowance range? This is a huge factor and it’s recommended that both sugar daddies and sugar babies have a clear range in mind – here’s a reasonable sugar baby allowance calculator.
Type of Allowance
What sort of allowance arrangement works? This can be anything from a weekly or monthly sugar baby allowance, a PPM, or a PPM until you’re comfortable enough to segue to a regular allowance. It can even be on an as-needed basis.
There’s also the question of how the allowance is given. Is it in cold hard cash, prepaid gift cards, tuition assistance, or just paying all the sugar baby’s bills with no money actually changing hands. There are a lot of options so make sure to read up on the various ways sugar babies receive money.
Is it solely allowance or will there be more? Some sugar daddies provide an allowance as well as gifts and luxuries like shopping sprees, spa sessions, couture, vacations, and so on.
For a sugar daddy, it’s good to be straight-forward from the get go about what you will and will not provide. If you don’t want the sugar baby to expect gifts on top of the allowance, say so. Diplomatically, of course.
As a sugar baby, it’s worth having a think about whether these extra perks are worth it to wait for a sugar daddy who can provide it all. Or go with a sugar daddy who can provide your main sugar baby goal and whom you get on with.
How long will the arrangement last? Are you hoping for a long-term arrangement or are short-term arrangements more your preference?
What level of communication do you want? Do you prefer to text just to set up dates and then chat face-to-face? Or do you like regular check-ins via texting or calling every day to maintain a feeling of connection between dates?
There’s also the matter of which times you prefer to be contacted. For married sugar daddies, this can be very specific.
But it applies to sugar babies, too. If a sugar baby is still living with her parents or busy with school, she may prefer to not be contacted during certain times of the day.
What sort of things will you be doing together? This is the part where you talk about what sorts of things you imagine you’d be doing together in a sugar relationship. Is it primarily an indoors arrangement where you mostly Netflix and chill?
Or is the sugar daddy looking for arm candy who can also hold a conversation to take on black tie events, formal dinners and the like?
Whether it’s fine dining, outdoor activities, strolls in the park, opera and theatre, bars and clubs – the only thing that matters is that you are compatible in the activities you want to do together.
Travel or Not
Is there traveling involved? This can be anything from worldwide adventures, luxury holidays to exotic beach destinations, local roadtrips, to accompanying a sugar daddy on business trips.
Some sugar babies and sugar daddies won’t be looking to travel together at all. But for others, it’s the best part of a SD/SB relationship. It’s wise to establish beforehand where you stand.
Are you planning to be exclusive? Just one sugar daddy or sugar baby is perfect for some. But some sugar babies can handle multiple sugar daddies and same for vice versa.
The important thing is that you’re both on board.
How emotionally involved do you want to be? This can be a complete no strings attached (NSA) type of arrangement where you have no emotional connection or involvement in each others lives. Or it can be more of a friends with benefits (FWB) type of arrangement in which you are friends and companions but not intimately romantically involved.
Or it can be a sugar girlfriend/sugar boyfriend type of relationship which has all the hallmarks of a typical vanilla relationship plus sugar. It can even be more serious than that, leading to marriage down the road.
How discreet should the arrangement be? This comes down to personal comfort. Consider whether you’re okay with being in public together and even with PDA. Or you prefer to be a secret sugar baby or secret sugar daddy.
What are your sexual limits? First and foremost is whether you want a platonic or a sexually intimate arrangement. As well as when you are comfortable having sex – will it develop organically into a sexual relationship?
Also, it’s worth discussing how you’ll be sexually safe, i.e. condoms, dental dams, STD testing, and so on.
Does marital status matter? This entirely comes down to personal choice. Some sugar babies prefer single sugar daddies and others prefer married sugar daddies.
Similarly, some sugar daddies are okay with a sugar baby who also has a boyfriend or is married, while others are not.
It may seem like a lot but clarifying expectations for the actual sugar arrangement is as important as choosing the right sugar partner.
You know what you want – and what you don’t. You know exactly where you stand on everything from how often you want to meet and the level of discretion you require.
So now what?
The smartest thing you can do is to make it clear in your sugar dating profile. Every sugar daddy website has a section for you to write what you’re looking for.
Take advantage of that. You don’t have to go granular but provide a good picture of what you want.
Here’s an example:
“My personal view of an ideal SD/SB relationship is…pretty much the same as any relationship. We’re attracted to each other. We like each other. We go on dates, share hobbies, and confide in each other. There’s every kind of intimacy and connection. The sugar is just the cherry on top.”
“I’m looking for a monogamous and hopefully long(er) term arrangement with a curvy, intelligent sugar baby. I’m good with a monthly allowance once we are more comfortable with each other – PPM is the way until then. I’d like to travel together and I’ll gladly cover all expenses and provide a daily allowance for the duration of any travel – but I prefer sugar babies to not ask for gifts outside of allowance.”
Stating exactly what you want may narrow down the amount of potentials that contact you. But just consider that effective filtering doing its job. Because whereas you may get a little less attention, it’ll be the right kind of attention – the sort that you’re compatible with.
And there you have it – the pro’s guide to setting up the ideal SD/SB relationship. Good luck.