What is sugar dating? It’s the first question asked by curious folk who have heard about the sugar lifestyle and want to find out what it’s all about.
Well, you’ve come to the right place.
Sugar dating has gotten a lot of media and academic attention in recent years. As such, there are many stereotypes and even myths surrounding this topic.
We’re going to delve into the heart of what sugar dating actually is. And exactly what you can expect from the sugar world. Let’s get to it.
What is Sugar Dating?
Here’s the most common sugar dating meaning: A mutually beneficial relationship in which financial benefits are exchanged for companionship and intimacy.
There is a transactional element but most sugar relationships are, first and foremost, a relationship.
Sugar dating can happen between:
- A male sugar daddy and a female sugar baby
- A male sugar daddy and a male sugar baby
- A female sugar mama and a male sugar baby
- A female sugar mama and a female sugar baby
- A male and female sugar couple and a male or female sugar baby
- A same sex sugar couple and a male or female sugar baby
As you can see, sugar dating covers both gay and straight relationships and everything in between. It can also be monogamous or as open as the sugar partners want.
But in essence, sugar dating is a mutually beneficial relationship between two consenting parties where one takes care of the other’s financial needs while the other takes care of the emotional and intimate needs.
And that brings us to our favorite definition for sugar dating: All the perks of a relationship with the added bonus of sugar.
What Sugar Dating is NOT
There are so many things that people not involved in the sugar world get wrong about sugar dating.
Make sure you’re prepared for the sugar bowl before you delve in by knowing what is true and isn’t true about sugar dating. A lot has been said on the topic – many of which simply aren’t true.
The below list will help you separate fact from fiction when it comes to sugar dating.
Sugar Dating Myth #1: It’s All About the Sex
Whenever the media talks about the sugar world, it likes to focus on one thing and one thing only: sex.
And sure, sexual intimacy is a component of some sugar relationships. But there are many types of non-sexual, platonic sugar relationships. And even for the relationships that turn sexual, sex is definitely not the core.
If all sugar daddies wanted was sex, they would simply hire escorts. Finding sex on demand is not difficult and most sugar daddies have the budget for it.
So why do they want sugar babies instead of sex workers? Because they are looking for connection, TLC, someone to share experiences with.
Ultimately, successful sugar relationships are built on connection, not sex. If a sugar daddy doesn’t care about you as a person, the relationship and the benefits won’t last.
Sugar Dating Myth #2. Sugar Babies All Look Like Barbie
Or Ken. Whatever your sexuality is, one of the biggest stereotypes when it comes to sugar babies is that they all look a certain way. Platinum blonde. Busty. Dressed to the nines.
The reality is that sugar babies are as diverse as, well, people. And that’s great because sugar daddies are people, too. And like all people, they have a diverse array of preferences.
So you’ll find sugar babies who are young and old, slim and plus-sized, beautiful and quirky, and so on. There’s literally a lid for every pot.
Sugar Dating Myth #3. Sugar Daddies are Old
Another huge sugar dating myth is that all sugar daddies are old. This is just not true at all.
The truth is that there are sugar daddies in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, as well as their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. Not all sugar daddies are old – in fact, many are younger than their sugar babies.
What is a Sugar Daddy Relationship?
So now that we’ve covered what sugar dating is NOT. Let’s get into what exactly a sugar daddy relationship is.
Traditionally, a sugar relationship is a mutually beneficial relationship between an older, wealthy, and successful person and a typically younger, attractive, person who is just starting out in life.
A sugar daddy relationship typically works like this: The wealthy partner takes care of the financial needs and the attractive partner takes care of the emotional and intimate needs.
The operative words here are: “relationship” and “takes care of.”
Here’s a quick look at what sugar babies and sugar daddies may get from each other.
What Sugar Babies Can Get
- Cash, either regular allowance or a PPM
- Tuition assitance
- Bills paid for
- All expense paid travel
- Lavish experiences
- Wined and dined
- Expensive gifts
- Pampering treatments
- Career opportunities
What Sugar Daddies Can Get
- An easy dating experience
- Attention from beautiful women
- Sexual intimacy
- Dating women out of one’s league
- Girlfriend benefits without the obligations
- Arm candy
- Non-monogamous dating
- Discreet relationships and flings
- Emotional support and intimacy
- Satisfaction of having a protege
- A truly NSA relationship
How Do Sugar Daddy Relationships Work?
The overall key to a good sugar relationship is that both parties have something that the other does not have but needs. And they form a relationship in which they mutually take care of each other’s needs.
The thing is, though – these relationships can take many different forms. Here are the most common types of sugar daddy relationships and how they work.
This is the most transactional type of sugar relationship and is basically prostitution. It consists of a Pay to Play agreement in which monetary benefits are exchanged for sex. There is no emotional connection or intimacy, just a straightforward transaction.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are sugar friendships, which are platonic sugar daddy relationships. The sugar partners in this type of sugar relationship are first and foremost friends. There is no sexual intimacy involved.
Sugar Friends with Benefits
This is like a sugar friendship – but with sexual benefits. So how does this sugar daddy relationship work? There is an exchange of financial benefits for companionship and intimacy.
But there is also a friendship element. The sugar partners have a relationship that extends past a quick exchange of money for sex. They may hang out, confide in each other, and consider each friends.
Compensated Sugar Dates
This type of sugar relationship is non-sexual and simply consists of going on dates together. Dates which are compensated, of course.
The dates can range from grabbing coffee together or having a meal together. Some sugar daddies are simply looking for company. Other sugar daddies want a piece of arm candy. So the dates could be having a sugar baby put on a nice dress and heels and accompany them to events, dinner, or a show.
This type of sugar relationship is very similar to a Sugar Friendship. It’s basically a platonic sugar relationship based on dates and companionship. There is no sexual intimacy but the sugar partners do a wide range of activities together and are more enmeshed in each other’s lives.
So what does this look like? It can involve going on dates once a week, sharing hobbies together, or even keeping a sugar daddy company if he has to go away for business for a couple of days.
Classic Sugar Daddy Relationship
This is the most traditional and most common type of sugar daddy relationship. So how does this sugar daddy relationship work?
In essence, it’s very much like a vanilla relationship – but with sugar involved. There is companionship, emotional connection, sexual intimacy, a friendship – basically, all the hallmarks of a typical relationship.
But there are also financial benefits for the sugar baby, which can be anything from a regular allowance or a PPM or even on an as-needed basis. And importantly, there are boundaries. A popular one is the mutually understood agreement that while it feels like a traditional relationship, there are no expectations for commitment, obligations, or marriage.
Done right, this type of sugar relationship is like having a girlfriend – just with terms and conditions clearly laid out.
This type of sugar relationship is the most serious because the sugar partners are thinking long-term, possibly even a lifetime. It’s a sugar relationship that most resembles a long-term, committed vanilla relationship.
The sugar daddy is the provider and will be taking care of the sugar baby for the rest of her life. In return, the sugar baby is the ideal feminine counterpart, pampering the provider with love, respect, and TLC.
The only thing that makes it a sugar relationship is that there is a significant aspect of marrying up – i.e. if the sugar daddy weren’t a wealthy provider, the relationship wouldn’t exist.
As you can see, there are many, many forms that a sugar relationship can take. The sugar world is diverse.
And there is really one rule to how sugar daddy relationships work. That is: If both sugar partners are on board with it, then it’s the perfect sugar daddy relationship.
The Most Common Sugar Daddy Terms
Sugar dating. Sugar relationship. Mutually beneficial arrangement. SD/SB relationship. As you can see, there are a lot of terms to describe the relationship between sugar partners.
On top of that, there are even more sugar daddy terms that you’ll hear over and over in the sugar world. If you’re new to sugar dating, it understandably gets a bit confusing. So we’ve made a list that’s the closest thing you’ll get to a sugar daddy dictionary.
Here are the most popular sugar daddy terms – and exactly what they mean.
Also called The Bowl, for short, this simply means the world of sugaring and all things to do with sugar relationships.
Short for sugar daddy or sugar daddies. You can find the full meaning of sugar daddy here.
Short for sugar baby or sugar babies. Here’s what a sugar baby is and isn’t.
Short for sugar mama or sugar mommy.
This is short for sugar relationship or sugar relationships.
This is short for Sugar Girlfriend or Sugar Boyfriend. Its used to describe a sugar relationship that has developed into a more intimate, more connected relationship – but still has sugar involved.
This simply stands for Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby. It’s simply a term to describe a sugar relationship.
Whenever you read about “an arrangement,” it’s short for Mutually Beneficial Arrangement, which is yet another way to call a sugar relationship.
The M&G stands for Meet and Greet. And that’s just a term to describe the first sugar date with a potential sugar daddy or sugar baby.
POT is short for ‘potential.’ It can refer to a potential sugar daddy, sugar mama, or sugar baby. It’s used as a temporary term to describe a potential sugar partner who you’re not in an official arrangement with yet.
An Allowance, or a Sugar Baby Allowance, is the financial compensation a sugar baby receives in an arrangement. It can be a regular monthly or weekly amount or divvied up as a per-meet amount.
This stands for Pay Per Meet and is the per-meet amount that a sugar baby receives from a sugar daddy. Instead of a regular monthly or weekly or bi-weekly allowance, a sugar daddy provides a set amount each time the sugar partners meet.
This is typically the way that sugar babies are compensated in the beginning of arrangements, until both parties have developed more trust and comfort.
A Salt Daddy is the opposite of a sugar daddy. This term is used to describe a man pretending to be a sugar daddy to use sugar babies for sex. After the first sexual encounter, the man disappears.
Speaking of disappearing, a Poof Daddy is a sugar daddy who becomes a ghost. Not a real ghost, mind you – just a man who starts ghosting the sugar baby he’s been talking to. With no warning, no explanation. Just poof. And he’s gone.
A Splenda Daddy is basically a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. He’s a Sugar Daddy Lite.
But he’s not a scammer. Or trying to one over on a sugar baby. He just doesn’t quite have the funds to be a full-fledged sugar daddy. But the best ones will still try to spoil a sugar baby – within their means, of course.
On the opposite end of the spectrum from a Splenda Daddy is the Whale. And this type of sugar daddy is a big spender. They tend to be wealthier than the average sugar daddy and ready and able to spend generously on a lucky sugar baby.
John is a popular term to describe a man who hires prostitutes. It’s used in the sugar bowl to refer to sugar daddies who just want sex.
Stands for Sex Worker. Used to describe escorts and prostitutes, as opposed to a sugar baby (SB).
A unicorn is used to describe a rare or very hard to find sugar partner. For example, if a sugar baby is looking for a whale who will provide an allowance of $xx,xxx per month, rent her a luxury condo, and spoil her silly for a platonic sugar friendship – she’s looking for a unicorn.
Similarly, if a sugar daddy is looking for a perfect 10 sugar baby who sleeps over several times per week and hangs on his every word for a monthly allowance of $xxx – he’s looking for a unicorn.
Freestyling refers to the process of finding a sugar daddy or sugar baby in real life as opposed to online. There are some good places to do this – hotel lounges, high end shops, and so on – but to be honest, it’s the more difficult path for the average sugar baby (or sugar daddy).
Unlike the most popular sugar daddy websites, where all the members understand and are actively looking for a sugar relationship, freestyling opens you up to a lot of rejection.
This stands for In Real Life.
This term is used to refer to any and all relationships that are not sugar relationships.
Platonic means the same thing in the sugar world as it does in the vanilla world. It simply means that the relationship is non-sexual.
Stands for No Strings Attached. This can mean anything from a one night stand, a relationship that consists of casual sex with no emotional attachments, or a relationship that just doesn’t lead to commitment and marriage.
It has different meanings for different people and the range is pretty huge. So it’s always good to be specific when using it so potential sugar partners know exactly what you have in mind.
This is an acronym for Friends with Benefits. It typically refers to a sugar relationship that is friendly but not emotionally intimate, with occasional hooking up.
Is Sugar Dating Legal?
Sugar dating exists in a legal grey area. As of now, in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and most European countries – there are no laws that specifically pertain to sugar dating.
So most types of sugar relationships, in which financial support is provided in return for companionship, is in legal territory.
The one exception is Sugar Prostitution, which is the type of sugar relationship that is most similar to sex work. If a sugar relationship veers into this territory, where there is no relationship but just an exchange of sex for money, it crosses the line from legal to illegal.
To avoid this, don’t pay for sex only. Pay to Play is a form of sex work, not sugar dating. Steer clear of explicit agreements that involving meeting for the sole purpose of exchanging sex for money.
True sugar relationships consist of more than the bare bones of money and sex. There’s companionship, dating, emotional connection, social events, and friendship. And as long as the sugar relationship is actually a relationship – it is indeed legal.