It’s a tale as old as time. A sugar baby meets a potential sugar daddy. You chat. You go on a sugar date. And he definitely seems interested.
He calls. He texts. He wants to see you again. So you go on another date.
He likes you, he says. So he calls. He texts. He wants to see you again. So you go out yet again. The process repeats itself, with you hoping he’ll ask for an arrangement during the next date.
But when you finally bring up the topic of a sugar baby allowance, he hems and haws. Turns out he never intended to make any considerable financial contribution to your life.
He just wanted your time and attention pro bono.
So what did you do wrong?
It’s simple: You forgot what potential means.
What Does POT Stand For in Sugar daddy Terms?
When it comes to sugar daddy terms, POT is simply short for ‘potential.’ So a POT sugar daddy means a potential sugar daddy. The same for a POT sugar baby – it means a potential sugar baby.
The operative word here is “potential.” The dictionary definition of potential is:
“Having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future.”
Or…
“Possible, as opposed to actual.”
And that is absolutely key to remember – a potential sugar daddy is just potential, not actual. It has the capacity to develop into an arrangement. But it also may not.
As of now, all you have is a potential arrangement. And until it becomes an actual arrangement – you need to treat it for what it is: just potential.
A Potential Sugar Daddy is Just Potential
That period when you first start talking to a new potential sugar daddy can be an exciting time. The air is full of promises – as is he. You start to lean into the excitement and let yourself think: could I finally have found a sugar daddy to solve all my financial problems?
And this is where many sugar babies start going down a slippery slope of investing precious resources into a man who has no intention of being a real sugar daddy.
Which is why you need to tread carefully.
Because with a potential sugar daddy, you really have no idea what’s going to happen. The best case scenario is that he is a legit sugar daddy who is just trying to get to know you better. But the worst case scenario is that he could be a fake sugar daddy posing as a real, potential sugar daddy to get something from you.
And trust us when we say, there are plenty of genuine sugar daddies out there. But there are also fake sugar daddies. And fake sugar daddies are not a one size fits all – they span the range from the dangerous scammer to the pesky time waster:
- Sugar daddy scammers
- Salt daddies
- Pay-to-play sugar daddies
- The nude picture collector
- Splenda daddies
- And just the classic time waster
You need to rule out the above types of sugar daddies when they are in the potential sugar daddy phase.
The last thing you want to do is convince yourself that you’ve found a sugar daddy and begin investing actual time, energy, and attention into a potential sugar daddy when he hasn’t done anything to deserve this level of exclusivity.
So what do you do instead?
How to Date a POT Sugar Daddy
He’s got pictures of himself in front of a private jet, a Maserati, wearing a Rolex, vacationing in the Bahamas. His profile lists that he’s a CEO. You decide that he’s legit and you secure a first date.
It all goes swimmingly well. He’s a perfect gentlemen, he pays for everything, is interested in your life…but there’s no mention of an allowance or an arrangement. But he asks you out again.
So you go on a second date…and then a third date…and then a fourth. All while anxiously asking yourself, “Should I ask him about allowance? Or will that scare him off?
You think maybe you should just keep going on dates with him. After all, they are free and once he gets to know you better and likes you more, he’s bound to offer an allowance, right?
Nope.
If you’ve found yourself in the above position, just know you’re not alone. We get a lot of emails from sugar babies who’ve unwittingly wound up here. Here’s how to remedy the situation. Quick.
Re-Visit Your Sugar Goals
There’s a reason we advise new sugar babies to set goals before entering the sugar world: it helps to remind you exactly why you’re doing what you’re doing.
And we know you didn’t sign up to be a sugar baby to go on free dates.
It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re not doing any harm by going on one free date after another with a potential sugar daddy who won’t offer an allowance, but really ask yourself…did you become a sugar baby for the free meals?
We don’t think so. We think you wanted a mutually beneficial relationship. So don’t continue meeting a man who’s not fulfilling his part of the deal.
Set a Date Limit
We know it can be tempting to keep meeting a potential sugar daddy. We’ve been there before, thinking each and every time that if we had one more date, he’d finally realize how awesome we were and lock down an arrangement. Pronto.
Sadly, it doesn’t work this way.
In our experience, if a potential sugar daddy is not suggesting an arrangement by the second (or third) date – he most likely won’t. Ever.
Note: Obviously, this is not always the case, but it usually is.
If you’ve been on multiple dates with a potential sugar daddy who isn’t giving you what you want – it’s high time to cut him loose.
Don’t go over three dates. By the second or third date, there should be a check in your hand. The only reason you should meet him for a fourth date is to get your allowance check.
If you’ve already made it a habit to go out with the potential sugar daddy whenever he asks, he’s in for a big surprise the next time he calls and you say…”I’m busy, I’ve got another date.” It’s time for him to up his game or lose the opportunity to go out with you.
Don’t Deliver Before You Receive
There are so many aspiring sugar babies who give a potential sugar relationship their all…even before it officially starts.
It’s a common mistake so don’t beat yourself up if you’ve gone down this road before – it’s easy to think that once you show a potential sugar daddy exactly how amazing you are, he’ll swoop in and fulfill his part of the deal.
So the aspiring aspiring sugar baby is at his beck and call from the get go. She picks up his phone calls and lets him talk as long as he wants. She primps and polishes herself to meet him whenever he asks to see her. She might even sleep with the potential sugar daddy.
Remember that men – which sugar daddies are – still like a challenge. He needs to woo you.
Be nice, be friendly, be sweet, be fascinating – but to a limit. A potential sugar daddy is not your sugar daddy. You owe him nothing. He is just another guy before you’re in an arrangement with him. And until then – you shouldn’t be endlessly available to him. Politely cut short phone conversations. Decline frequent dates. Your time is not free. Don’t make him think it is.
Keep Your Options Open
Until a sugar daddy has secured an arrangement with you and put his money where his mouth is – you’re very much a free agent.
Do not make the cardinal sin of removing your profile from sugar dating sites just because there’s a potential sugar daddy who seems like he might be interested.
Keep contacting new sugar daddies, keep going on sugar dates, and don’t stop ’til you’ve got what you became a sugar baby for in the first place. There’s a big sugar world out there. Don’t limit your options to just one potential sugar daddy.
All in all – keep in mind that a potential sugar daddy is just that: potential. Until you have the terms of an arrangement worked out and a check (or the payment option of your choice) in your hands – no potential sugar daddy deserves exclusivity.
And he certainly does not deserve full arrangement benefits. No matter how promising he seems, do not abandon your search to pursue just one potential. Always keep your options wide, wide open.
