Here’s the not-so-sweet truth: sugar baby mistakes happen to the best of us. It’s not hard to see why. The beginning of every potential sugar relationship is exciting, yet delicate, terrain. And most of us are pioneering our own way into this wild and woolly world.
It is any surprise that we stumble and fall? Nope.
The thing to remember is that sugar baby mistakes don’t need to define you. In fact, they don’t even need to happen to you. Once you know the most common pitfalls that aspiring sugar babies fall into, you can spot them early and avoid them for smooth sugar baby sailing.
Knowing how to navigate these sugar baby mistakes is going to be crucial to your success. So, without further ado, here are the most common mistakes that sugar babies make – and how to avoid them.
Act Like a Free Sugar Baby
This one is #1 on this list for a reason: It’s a common and often fatal pitfall.
Many aspiring sugar babies start corresponding with a potential sugar daddy and almost immediately…start giving him what he wants.
In hopes of eventually getting into an arrangement with that potential sugar daddy, the aspiring sugar baby is at his beck and call. She picks up his phone calls and lets him talk as long as he wants. She primps and polishes herself to meet him whenever he asks to see her. Even worse – she might even sleep with the potential sugar daddy.
This is a big mistake. Because 99% of the time, you will end up giving and giving. And there will be no profitable arrangement at the end of the tunnel.
Why, you ask? You’ve done everything right.
The reason is simple: you’re acting like a free sugar baby. So why would he pay for your time?
Knowing what your sugar daddy needs and being able to give it to him is a crucial skill for being a successful sugar baby. BUT it’s a skill that’s to be used on sugar daddies you are in an arrangement with. You know, a sugar daddy who is actually giving you what you want as well. Don’t be giving it away for free.
A potential sugar daddy is not your sugar daddy. You owe him nothing. He is just another guy before you’re in an arrangement with him. And until then – you’re not endlessly available to him. Politely cut short phone conversations. Decline frequent dates. Your time is not free. Don’t make him think it is.
Look in All the Wrong Places
One of the biggest sugar baby mistakes is simply looking for a sugar daddy in all the wrong places.
We get it. There are so many places you can potentially find a sugar daddy. From the hotel lounge to your local upscale bistro, there are wealthy, successful men everywhere. The thing is, though, many of these men simply may not be interested in a sugar relationship. And it’ll take a lot of work and even more luck to find that diamond in the rough.
That’s why the number one place to go if you’re looking for a sugar daddy is online. The men on the best sugar daddy websites already know they want a sugar baby and are willing to pay money and go through verification to find one.
The same can’t be said for finding a sugar daddy in real life or even worse, on free social media platforms. Instagram, FaceBook, and the like may seem like easy places to scoop up a sugar daddy but remember that free entry means anyone can claim to be a sugar daddy.
That’s why the social media platforms are where the majority of sugar daddy scammers hang out. Avoid these platforms – you have no reason to look for sugar daddies on them, especially since the majority of sugar daddy websites are free for sugar babies anyway.
Not Be Organized
Organization is probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of sugar baby mistakes, but it is oh, so important. You see, the hunt for the ideal sugar daddy can be time-consuming and frustrating. Or it can be easy-breezy and fun.
The difference? Organization.
Once you begin your search, you’ll most likely be inundated with emails and new potential sugar daddies and it is imperative that you remember who is who and who seems promising.
As silly as it may seem, this is best handled with something like a simple spreadsheet or even the Notes app on your phone.
Jot down the names, ages, where you met them, plus a little ‘notes’ section for all potential sugar daddies you interact with. This is particularly helpful because when you are first searching, you want to cast as wide a net as possible and then go narrow with the best options.
If you’re not actively organized, you’ll let most of the good fish slip away simply ’cause you won’t be able to keep track of who’s who.
Not to mention, there is no bigger mistake you can make in the beginning than confusing one potential sugar daddy with another…
A simple spreadsheet will help you keep track of the most promising potentials and not waste your time. Check out our example sugar daddy spreadsheet to get you started 🙂
Think Beauty Equals Worth
Many sugar babies fall into this trap when they’re figuring out how much they should ask for allowance. Some make the mistake of assuming that the allowance should be equivalent to your level of physical beauty.
This is bullshit.
By determining an allowance amount based on physical attractiveness, you’re leaving out the majority of what you offer.
Every girl possesses certain, non-physical qualities that are worth much more than her physical beauty and most often, those characteristics are what sugar daddies are looking for.
You might not be America’s next top model, but are you witty enough to make him laugh? Do you exude positive energy that leaves him feeling uplifted whenever you’re around? Are you thoughtful enough to know just when to say the right thing? Are you appreciative enough to make him feel like the amazing man who’s made your life happier and easier?
All these qualities of yours are priceless. He knows it. Make sure you do, too.
Not Pay Yourself First
The life of a sugar baby is typically portrayed as a life full of things. You see this everywhere. Pictures of sugar babies in front of monstrous mansions, sugar babies posing in front of luxury cars, sugar babies clad in Louboutins and Cartier watches.
Everywhere you look, the image of sugar babies is synonymous with a lifestyle full of jewelry, shoes, furs, and little trinkets and luxuries galore.
This glittery life certainly has its appeals. It’s a huge reason many aspiring sugar babies join the sugar game to begin with.
But all that sparkles is not gold and one of the worst mistakes you can make as a sugar baby is to blow your entire allowance on things.
So many sugar babies blow through their entire allowance only to be left scrambling to find another sugar daddy as soon as one arrangement ends. This is the worst situation to place yourself in ’cause as a sugar baby, your expenses often go up and once you’re left without a sugar daddy to bankroll those expenses, you might be left in even more desperate straits than when you first started.
Desperation clouds clear thinking and decision making. Your mind is focused on how to pay the rent and how to maintain the lifestyle you’ve come to know when it should be focused on the POT in front of you.
Plus, potential sugar daddies can smell desperation a mile away and the last thing you want is to attract a predatory sugar daddy.
Have a Transactional Mentality
A sugar relationship is not as cut and dry as the media makes it out to be. A real sugar relationship is not a pay-for-play.
At its core, the ideal sugar relationship is a mutually beneficial relationship.
Money may be a large motivation for some sugar babies and sex may be an essential motivation for some sugar daddies but sugar dating, mutually beneficial arrangements…whatever you want to call them, they are first and foremost relationships.
And like all relationships, things like trust, respect, communication, understanding and honesty matter. So treat your sugar daddy well and demand the same treatment from him.
Because the transactional mentality won’t get you far in the sugar world. It may make you a few bucks but if it’s a successful sugar relationship you’re after – you know, where you take care of your sugar daddy and he takes care of you – do yourself a favor and go for the sweet spot of finding a sugar daddy you actually like spending time who has the means to be your sugar daddy.
Which brings us to…
Settle for the First Offer
One thing that differentiates successful sugar babies from sugar babies who don’t last long in this world is that the successful ones know that there are plenty of sugar daddies in the sea. And more importantly, that there will be a sugar daddy who’s right for you.
It goes without saying that you should never try to totally change yourself for a sugar daddy you’re seeing. You can only keep up an act for so long and there’s always a sugar daddy out there for you so don’t settle.
Make Being a Sugar Baby Your Identity
As a sugar baby, it’s important to be flexible and accommodating of your sugar daddy’s needs, schedule, and lifestyle. But it’s just as important to not lose yourself in it.
A huge mistake sugar babies make is to get wrapped up in the sugar baby identity. They clear away their schedule for their sugar daddy, they let his needs and desires come before their own and slowly but surely, their own goals in life fall by the wayside and they act as if being a sugar baby is their whole life.
This is a surefire way to lose a year or two of your life and walk away regretting it. Don’t let the security of having constant funds from your sugar daddy blind you from your own life and goals.
Instead, take advantage of the free time your allowance allows you to pursue the end goal: the life you want for yourself.
Have any more sugar baby mistakes you’ve made? Share with us in the comments!