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7 Fake Sugar Daddies and How to Spot Them Before You Waste Your Time

Fake sugar daddies are an unfortunate reality of the sugar world. As such, every sugar baby is bound to run into one at some point.

But don’t worry – they are just one variety of sugar daddy. Most sugar daddies are awesome. Many are just okay. And a few outright suck.

It’s the latter we’re going to focus on in this post: the Fake Sugar Daddy.

Fake sugar daddies come in all shapes and sizes and they can range from the horny but harmless to the outright abusive, from the tricky and selfish to the straight up scammy.

The good news is that learning how to spot a fake sugar daddy is an easy skill to learn. That’s because all fake sugar daddies fall into just 7 categories. And once you know how to spot the signs, you’ll be able to avoid them and continue your sugar journey unhindered.

We’re going to show you:

  • The 7 types of fake sugar daddies you might meet
  • How to recognize the various fake sugar daddy signs
  • Exactly how to deal with each particular type of fake sugar daddy

Let’s dive in.

Fake Sugar Daddy #1. The Salt Daddy

The salt daddy is one of the worst types of fake sugar daddies. They have absolutely no intention of giving you any sugar. Their only purpose? To take what they want from you and disappear before you realize you never received any sugar.

Read: My Salt Daddy Experience: How to Spot the Signs of a Salt Daddy

Unfortunately, most sugar babies will encounter at least one salt daddy at some point in their journey. Even worse, this type of fake sugar daddy can be difficult to recognize.

That’s why it’s crucial you learn to spot the signs.

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs to Watch Out For

Salt daddies have many different tactics to manipulate sugar babies into a relationship that is only beneficial for the salt daddy. Here are the most common signs.

  • The Confused Sugar Daddy. This type of fake sugar daddy seems to have forgotten that you two met on a sugar daddy website. Suddenly, you asking for what you want is greedy, transactional, boring, thirsty, or what have you. The point is – he’s trying to convince you that you are worth less and less so that you’ll settle for the bare minimum.
  • All Talk Except One Thing. He’s full of promises and he keeps asking you on dates, but when it comes to talking about an actual arrangement, he gets quiet. Very quiet.
  • The Test Driver. You might be casually chatting with a potential sugar daddy. Or maybe you’ve even been on a date or two with him. Things seem to be going well but once talk of an arrangement and allowance comes up, he comes up with: “Well, before I’d agree to an arrangement, I’d have to test you out first.
  • The All Flash But No Cash. He’s got a yacht. Rolex watches? Even his dog’s got one. Oh, and did he mention (324 times) just how much money he has?! He’s just trying to lure in sugar babies with the promise of the fortunes he supposedly has.

Men like this are living proof that not all that glitters is gold. Be wary of men who too readily agree to everything you ask for.

Remember: he’s not your sugar daddy ’til you’ve actually gotten what you’ve asked for.

Why He’s a Fake Sugar Daddy

There’s every possibility that an arrangement might not work out once it’s made, but that’s something real sugar daddies are willing to invest in to find out. No legitimate sugar daddy will ask to test drive you.

You are not a car. Of course he does not get to “test drive” you.

The sort of man who will insist on a test run is 100% a salt daddy who is dangling the promise of an arrangement so that you’ll sleep with him. At which point, he will “hit it and quit it” before he gives you any benefits. Because that’s what salt daddies do.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

If a potential sugar daddy tried to insult or “neg” you for talking about what you are looking for in an arrangement, chances are very high that you’re dealing with a salt daddy.

And if a potential sugar daddy tries to push for sex immediately – well before you have both agreed to an arrangement – he is definitely a salt daddy.

So you know what to do. Pass. And then Delete and Block.

Fake Sugar Daddy #2. The Scammer

sugar daddy asking for bank info

The worst type of fake sugar daddy is the scammer. As sugar daddy websites become more popular and the concept of sugar dating becomes more widespread, many unsavory characters have hopped aboard the sugar train. Their only goal? To scam sugar babies.

Read: 7 Sugar Daddy Scams You Need to Know About Before It’s Too Late

The good news is that this type of fake sugar daddy is usually easy to spot and avoid once you know what to look out for.

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs to Watch Out For

  • No Face to Face. One thing that automatically differentiates a sugar daddy scammer from a real sugar daddy is that he won’t want to meet. No FaceTime, no quick video call. Because that would make it obvious that he’s not who he claims to be.
  • You Need to Pay or Do First. He says it’s because he’s been burned before. Or maybe he just wants to know that you’re a caring, loyal sugar baby before he can spoil you. That’s all lies. Any time a potential sugar daddy says you need to do or pay something in order to receive whatever he’s promised you – 99.9% of the time, he’s a sugar daddy scammer.
  • Overpromise Immediately. He tells you straight off the bat how much he’s going to give you in allowance (hint: it’s way more than you asked for). Totally unprompted, he sends you screenshots of his bank balance. He’s even sent you pictures of the cars he purchased for ex-sugar babies of his!

Why He’s a Fake Sugar Daddy

When a sugar daddy is trying too hard to impress you with his vast riches, you need to be very, very wary. Although it’s not always the case, we’ve found that the best sugar daddies are usually not the flashiest.

But you know who is? Sugar daddy scammers.

These men are hoping to lure in sugar babies with the promise of the fortunes they hold. And they really need you to believe it. Because they need to establish that trust so that they can successfully scam you.

That’s why they’re trying so hard. A genuine sugar daddy has no reason to.

A legit sugar daddy also has absolutely zero reason to ask for your social security, bank logins, or any other personal security info. If you are asked for this, politely decline and offer to use a different method of payment.

We have a full guide on what personal information can and should never be shared.

Read: Sugar Daddy Asking for Bank Info: What Info Should You Share?

Last but not least, no legit sugar daddy will make their sugar baby pay money in order to receive their allowance. If a potential sugar daddy is asking you to do that, that’s a bright red flag that he’s a fake sugar daddy scammer.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

When you come across a sugar daddy scammer, it’s not enough to simple delete and block. You absolutely need to report him so that other sugar babies do not get scammed.

Fake Sugar Daddy #3. The John

There are men who hang out on sugar daddy websites but they don’t want an allowance-based arrangement. They don’t even want a regular PPM.

Instead, they’re only looking to pay to play. As in, you will get “paid” only when he visits and there’s only one thing he’s interested in doing during those visits.

Read: How to Avoid Sugar Daddies Who Just Want Sex

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs to Watch Out For

The only good thing that can be said about this type of fake sugar daddy is that they don’t hide who they are. They will send messages that straight up offer money for sex.


  • “50 for car suck?”
  • “$200 to come over”
  • “150 for motel sex”
  • “I’m looking for something mutually beneficial…tonight.”

In essence, he wants sex. And he’ll pay – but way less than he’d have to pay an escort.

Why He’s a Fake Sugar Daddy

These aren’t sugar daddies – they’re johns. They’re just too cheap to hire an escort. And while we have nothing against escorts – sugar babies are not escorts. Sugar relationships are not about pay for play and sex is just a part of what turns out to be a very dynamic relationship.

Plus, because sugar babies are not escorts – we don’t have the safeguards in place to be able to safely do these kinds of gigs. Not to mention, at the super low rate these Johns are offering, you won’t even make enough to afford bail.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

Don’t ever settle for this type of fake sugar daddy. He’s looking in the wrong neck of the woods. Kindly Delete and Block him. If you’re feeling nice, you can respond “I don’t do that” before you delete and block.

If you’re feeling not-so-nice, you can go ahead and report him. Solicitation is against most sugar daddy websites’ terms.

Fake Sugar Daddy #4. The Time Waster

This particular type of sugar daddy doesn’t seem dangerous. But at worst, he can do serious damage to your reputation.

At best, he can just waste your precious time and energy, making it harder for you to find a real sugar daddy.

So how do you recognize him?

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs

The Time Waster comes in three main different forms. They’re different, for sure, but they all do the same thing: waste your time with little to no benefits coming your way.

The Pic Collector. A message comes in. You click, only to see this: “SEND ME SOME NAKED PICTURES.” Most sugar babies have received a message or two from this type of fake sugar daddy at some point in their sugar journey. Feel free to ignore, they are 100% not real sugar daddies.

One More Date. You’ve chatted incessantly. Phone calls? Check. And then finally the first sugar date. And then another. And another. You two have been on several sugar dates but there is still no discussion of an allowance. That’s because you’re dealing with a time waster who doesn’t want an arrangement, just a free sugar baby.

The Sporadic Reinforcer. This type of time waster is so effective at stringing you along because he actually does deliver. Like, once every blue moon. So you believe he’s the real thing and keep your schedule open, do some top-shelf grooming, and low and behold…he cancels. Again and again and again.

Why he’s a fake sugar daddy

The pic collector is obviously a fake sugar daddy and can absolutely be ignored. No legitimate sugar daddy genuinely interested in a great arrangement is going to solicit naked pictures from random sugar babies they’ve never even met.

As for the men who do – at worst, they could be sextortionists who may try to blackmail you with compromising pictures. Or they could be scammers planning to sell the images online.

At best, they are just fake sugar daddies who are trying to collect naked images from sugar babies without providing any mutual benefits. Whatever the case is, this type of fake sugar daddy is just not worth your time.

As for the fake sugar daddies who insist on chatting on the phone, texting non-stop, and meeting you again and again without providing you any sugar…well, you already know how they are fake sugar daddies, right?

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

For the pic collector, it’s simple. All we have to say is: Delete and Block. Immediately.

Or, if you’re bored, shoot him this:

"You like-y?"
“You like-y?”

…and then Delete and Block.

As for the fake sugar daddies who demand your time and energy without providing sugar, it’s time to implement boundaries.

If there is no allowance, you are not their sugar baby. They do not get to call you, expect you to text them back right away, and they definitely do not get the pleasure of going on infinite dates with you.

Choose a number – we like Date 3 – for the amount of dates you’ll go on without an arrangement happening. After that, politely decline.

Fake Sugar Daddy #5. The Abuser

fake sugar daddies

It happens to every sugar baby. At some point, despite your best efforts, you will run into a sugar daddy online who is offensive, degrading, even abusive. These fake sugar daddies absolutely need to be avoided.

The kinds of men who make the best sugar daddies are first and foremost decent people who will treat you well. You know, adult men who understand things like consideration, thoughtfulness, and courtesy.

Don’t make the mistake of getting involved with men who don’t see the value of those traits.

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs to Watch Out For

The abuser can be tricky to recognize at first because initially, they put on a nice facade. It’s usually when something doesn’t go their way that they will reveal their true colors, like:

  • You chat a couple times and you decide you’re not that into him
  • He messages you and you don’t respond right away

Sometimes, nothing happens at all. Perhaps it’s just something in your profile that triggers him or maybe he just really hates women. Who knows.

All you need to do is watch out for potential sugar daddies who:

  • Calls you lazy, pathetic, stupid, ugly and similar
  • Calls you cusswords – i.e. bi*ch and wh*re are popular
  • Cusses or seems generally uncivilized
  • Scolds you or displays controlling behavior
  • “Jokingly” insults, degrades, or threatens to abuse you

And if that happens, even once, that dud goes on the fake sugar daddy pile.

Why he’s a fake sugar daddy

Abusive men are not fake sugar daddies because they can’t provide sugar. They may actually be ready and able to give you all the sugar you desire.

We call them fake sugar daddies because ultimately, that sugar is toxic.

If a potential sugar daddy is rude, mean, or abusive, cut ties with him. Even if he’s very wealthy, even if he’s willing to provide you an ample allowance – it ultimately will not be worth the emotional damage you are in for.

Rude, mean men do not make good company and they certainly do not make good sugar daddies.

Any and all sugar you receive from them will be more bitter than sweet.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

Stop responding completely. Don’t engage. Block and report.

Do not EVER meet up with this kind of fake sugar daddy. Even if he is promising you gifts and allowance. Even if he is promising you the world. If he’s ready and willing to be that abusive online, do not give him the chance to harm you in real life.

Fake Sugar Daddy #6. The Splenda Daddy

splenda daddy

He’s asked you what you’re looking for. You tell him what your allowance range is.

And yet, he proceeds to try to haggle you down to, oh, 50% of what you’re looking for.

Unless he found you on SugarBabiesRACK.com – which to our knowledge, doesn’t exist – why is he trying to haggle for outlet prices?

Because he’s a certain type of fake sugar daddy, that’s why. Better known as a Splenda Daddy.

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs

Here are some things a Splenda daddy might say:

  • My last sugar baby only needed $xxx.xx a month
  • Whoa, what do I get for that much money?
  • The most I can do is $xx.xx each meet

And our personal favorite? He tries to give you a really bad deal, like a few hundred dollars for spending days and days together. You can do better working at Starbucks – and the latter comes with benefits.

In short, Splenda daddies want you to be their sugar baby. But they need a deep discount.

Why He’s a Fake Sugar Daddy

Listen, Splenda daddies get a bad rap but they’re not exactly fake sugar daddies. Usually, their hearts are in the right place.

It’s just that these kinds of daddies simply do not have the funds to be able to provide what a sugar daddy can. But some of these men can make great sugar daddies as well.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

If you really like a Splenda daddy but you’re out of his price range, you can always adjust the amount of time you’d be spending together and put more limits on your availability so you’re both getting what you want.

Read: Is a Splenda Daddy Worth Your Time?

Or you can continue looking for a real sugar daddy. Because when it comes to very, very personal things like finding a great sugar baby, real sugar daddies don’t price shop. And they certainly don’t haggle.

If you’re what he’s looking for and you’re realistic about your allowance expectations, he’ll be willing to do his part to make sure you’re happy in the arrangement by giving you what you’re asking for.

Fake Sugar Daddy #7. The Miser

This type of fake sugar daddy is probably the most insidious of them all. Their form of toxicity is very subtle and it can be easy to miss.

That is why it is crucial you learn to spot these types from the get go.

While the signs can vary, the dead giveaway is a miserly heart. The core of his focus is not taking care of you or having a mutually beneficial relationship.

Nope, he wants to know: Are you worth it? How can he make sure you’re worth what he’s paying you by extracting the most value out of you?

These are the sugar daddies who will give the least while demanding the most. They are the ones who will make sure they work you hard for whatever little they are giving you. They need to get their money’s worth, right?

Even if that means endangering you. Or making you uncomfortable.

Trust us. This type of fake sugar daddy is a miserable, dead end road.

Fake Sugar Daddy Signs

Be Grateful, Sugar Baby! This type of fake sugar daddy thinks he’s doing you a huge favor. He refuses to understand that an allowance is NOT a handout. Sure, he’s giving you money. But he’s most certainly not doing it out of the kindness of his heart. He’s getting a lot in return.

“What Am I Paying For?” If a potential sugar daddy asks some variation of this question in response to your reasonable allowance expectation – 99.9% of the time, you’ll do better to just end the conversation right then and there.

Me, Me, and More Me. Be very wary with sugar daddies who are only interested in what you can do for them and what they want from the sugar relationship. After all, when are you ever going to get around to discussing things that you might need when it’s clearly all about him?

Why He’s a Fake Sugar Daddy

The Miser is not a fake sugar daddy in the sense that he won’t give you sugar. In fact, he may have plenty of sugar to offer.

But he is a fake sugar daddy in the sense that he is incredibly toxic and his sugar may eventually poison you. A sugar daddy who thinks he’s doing you a huge favor is refusing to acknowledge just how much you’re bringing to the table.

Experienced sugar babies know how high maintenance a sugar relationship can be.

You’re there for him when he needs you, you listen to him rant and rave about whatever is on his mind, you do your best to look your best for him, you make him feel awesome and on top of the world.

You don’t make demands on his time or affections. You don’t cause drama. You keep it fun, hot, interesting, and stress-free.

That is no small service.

Real sugar daddies recognize that. The Miser, however, is more focused on whether he’s getting all the value he can for his money.

This is not how a good sugar relationship should work. You two made a mutually beneficial arrangement. He gets his benefits. And you get yours.

No sugar daddy should be lording that over you. Men who do…do not make great sugar daddies. In fact, most men who try to make you feel oh, so grateful for simply receiving your end of the bargain make the worst sugar daddies.

How to Handle This Fake Sugar Daddy

It’s always good manners to be appreciative of what a sugar daddy does for you – simply because gratefulness is great. But don’t ever forget that the favors are going both ways. If he doesn’t recognize this, it’s better to pass on him.

How to Spot a Fake Sugar Daddy

Knowing how to spot a fake sugar daddy is an essential skill for sugar babies to know.

Because fake sugar daddies are harmless once you know how to spot them early on. But if you don’t, you can end up wasting quite a bit of your precious time and energy on these men. At worst, you can even end up losing money and placing your financial future at risk.

Read: How to Be 100% Bulletproof to Sugar Daddy Scammers

That’s why we’ve done our best to compile this article full of fake sugar daddy signs. Still, we know it’s probably not close to complete.

As a smart sugar baby, you’re probably on the always lookout for hints and signs that indicate the personality and intentions of any potential sugar daddy you talk to. So if you have some fake-sugar-daddy-spotting tricks of your own that we missed – please feel free to share them in the comments for other sugar babies to see.

Are there any other types of fake sugar daddies we missed? Share in the comments!

Updated on May 15, 2023

163 thoughts on “7 Fake Sugar Daddies and How to Spot Them Before You Waste Your Time”

  1. This article was helpful. I am looking for a sugar daddy, and one messaged me. Right off the bat, he asked me if I was busty. Which creeped me out. Needless to say, I cut him down.

    Is there anyway that someone reading this could help me revamp my profile to attract someone? I am a bbw, but I’m working on this (don’t say that in my profile), but I’d like for this search to go faster.

    • I know you posted this a while ago, and I hope you’ve gotten it all taken care of. But, in case you haven’t, I’d be happy to take a look for you.

      Here are some tips that I’m going to toss out there. He has to be actually interested in you. Personally, I’d say you have to spend enough time with your potential ‘SD’ to see if there is a fit. I met one girl, her second e-mail was… lets meet. I don’t like the whole text and email for forever deal, so I was all for buying a nice dinner and chatting. We didn’t get 1/2 way though dinner and she was starting in about what she wanted. (5 – 10K), which I thought was a bit steep, but it was worth listening. She was cute. However, the rest of dinner there was no conversation, just an attempt to setup a business arrangement. I explained that really….. you had to figure out how much you like the other person first, to see if there should even be an arrangement. At the end of the evening I dropped her off at home, and we setup a date for the weekend. She asked that if I saw her again, I should give her a good faith payment to secure her time, and I agreed, we could do that. Over the next couple of days she called incessantly about was I going to see her, and when I did would I bring the cash. Not only would I bring the cash, but since she was spending so much time talking with me, maybe I should bring more. In the end, I explained that I didn’t believe we were going to make a great sd/sb couple, mainly due to the fact that she didn’t like answering the questions I’d ask to get to know her, and she never asked anything about me. Plus, there was the whole thing of her vocabulary was very limited, and she confessed finally that she never completed high school, let along taken any college courses.

      I know that is the long way around, HOWEVER, I think it is important to note, that she wanted the 5 – 10k for a platonic relationship, after posting that she wanted a physical, long term and mutual relationship coupled with inability to carry on a conversation on a mature level and contact bugging about having the cash at the beginning of the second date, bespoke volumes as to her character.

      All of this goes both ways. Both parties really do have to be realistic in what they want. Most business type people are going to want to know what value they are getting for their outlay.

      That should help some in writing up your profile. People can always respect what it is that you’re asking for, and most business type people are happy to see your value. Just be sure to build your value in your profile about yourself, and realistically put in your profile what you are offering. You can be politically correct if you want, or blunt, but most importantly, be yourself, or at least be the woman that the men you want would want to have beside them. If you want to be the public face of a successful man, say so, if you want to be his dirty little secret, be that. If you’re looking to be platonic, say so, if you want to be a sexy little fuck kitten, say that as well. If the thought of being with a guy 20 years your senior grosses you out, put that in your profile. If looks don’t matter, don’t put that in your profile, but if you imagine him with a little grey around the temples and he is Mr. Metrosexual, say so. You are literally offering YOU. Since it is YOU we are giving the money too, tell us why you should be getting an allowance, and don’t make it a sob story, be positive, be bold. And remember, well behaved women, NEVER made history. In fact as an interesting study, take a look around at the stories of the Kings mistresses. Most are quite the power players. All, were goddesses to their man.

      — My personality profile: ENTP —

      • Hi, thanks for dropping by! And thanks for the illuminating example. It’s totally true – it is very helpful for sugar babies to know who they are and what they want. It’s the first step to being a successful sugar baby, as we say 🙂
        Your experience sounds pretty terrible, to be honest. Especially since the best arrangements happen when one party isn’t hounding the other party like a loan shark. Love the part about “don’t make it a sob story” – so, SO true! Sugar babies, courtesans, mistresses – whatever you want to call us – have been around since the beginning of time and the most successful ones never begged 🙂

      • Mgty mike, would you mind disclosing your approximate location? I’m wondering how much that has to do with the type of sugar daddy & expectations. You very much sound like a gentleman, & I’ve not run into much of that from men claiming they are in my area (central coastal FL).
        Also, what is the best way to be a platonic sugar baby? Of course I’m funny & good at many things, but it seems like most men would get disgruntled with that? I’m just curious. Thank you!

      • Hi,
        I am new to being a sugar baby. Literally, I just set up my profile. That said, I’m not naive and am doing my research. I am interested in getting some help on my profile and figuring out what my terms should be. I am 41 and cute, smart and sexy. I am looking for an allowance type of relationship as I’m too frugal for extravagant gifts. I’m not sure how much to relay in my profile and how much to talk about via messages,… I’ve read that you shouldn’t talk arrangement terms until after the first date… I definitely know my value, and don’t want to be taken advantage of.

        • Hey there and welcome 🙂 We’re going to be doing posts on profiles soon – so definitely stay posted for that! As for being “too frugal for extravagant gifts” – put the allowance first and foremost (requirement!) but never say no to gifts 🙂
          For now, our best-est, simplest advice is keep the conco light, happy, and reveal the best bits of yourself – and of course, ask plenty of getting-to-know-you questions and let him talk.

      • Mgtymike, would you mind disclosing your approximate location? I’m wondering how much that has to do with the type of sugar daddy & expectations. You very much sound like a gentleman, & I’ve not run into much of that from men claiming they are in my area (central coastal FL).
        Also, what is the best way to be a platonic sugar baby? Of course I’m funny & good at many things, but it seems like most men would get disgruntled with that? I’m just curious. Thank you!

      • This comment was extremely helpful, so thank you! I am a complete newbie to the sugar dating world and I haven’t even replied to any of the men who have contacted me via my profile yet. Despite my curiosity, as a young woman with self respect, I didn’t know if I could go through with such an arrangement (even though the concept is intellectually tempting) because I didn’t know what kind of men I would be encountering. You however seem like a very reasonable, respectful gentleman and I am genuinely put at ease by your words, not only because they make sense but also because they seem to be coming from a good place. Thank you! 🙂

        PS: I’m also an ENTP! Maybe that’s why I clicked with your message. 🙂

      • Thanks for this….i actually found that building a relationship of loyalty and trust with a sd can pay off handsomely. Of course money matters but dont make it so blatant! Get to know the person (as a matter of safety too) and even if its just a sexual relationship, at the end of the day, it makes you better at reading people.

      • Good evening I realized this was written 2014 but I just wanted to say wow. I have no comments, this is exactly what we women should be saying and not being the bull shitters.

      • Wow! I read and learned a lot. I am still a newbie at this. But when some SD asking you for your bank info right off the bat and explaining that he wants to be with you and only you. It makes you scratch your head…. words in text messages stating where the person is located also made me re-consider meeting up. However why is the SD will take 1 month to meet you?

      • OMG, what a story!
        That girl wasn’t a SB at all 👀 she was selfish, with no plans to herself, annoying and surely not classy.

    • Want search to go fast, then get a REAL job. Being a sugar baby isn’t the career for you. Sound like you have a shallow personality, look for another profession of you need advice from a internet blogger.

      • That’s awfully rude maybe people reading this article are not professional sugar babies and have took interest in the idea of doing so may be reading on it to understand how it works and also how to weed out fake or dangerous possible surer daddy’s. Inu you may look at it as a job but some might be interested in a friendship or bond that benefits two people without all the crap you tend to get being in a traditional relationship. You sound shallow and honestly quite rude and judgemental. Why were you even reading this article since you are some type of professional whatever you are. Regardless do you but I had to express this to you for myself.

  2. I had an experience with a fake sugar daddy I would like to add.

    I met a POT on a Sugar Daddy website and we hit it off over messaging, so we decided to meet for a date. Once we were on the date he acted like he was looking for his one true love. I figured he was really into the personal connection and that we would discuss the rest once we were sure we both liked each other. We had a great date and seriously clicked.

    When he texted me a day after for a second date I tactfully brought up the arrangement aspect- “Arrangement, what arrangement?” He acted like I was wrong for wanting an arrangement. When I mentioned us meeting on the Sugar Daddy website he said he had better luck there than conventional dating sites. Err, what?

    His profile said he had more than enough money (10 MM+) to support this type of arrangement but he was playing the “love of my life” card. He was offering travel with him and an exclusive relationship but no actual sugar. I think he was banking on the girls he meets thinking that marrying a guy like this would be better in the long run. I’m in my 20’s and he’s 60 yrs. old, so not my first choice for marriage material. Total, and I mean total, waste of time!! And then he continued to text me for weeks after asking me to go out with him again. Total fake sugar daddy.

    • What a jerk. That’s actually misleading and a total waste of someone’s time; registering on a sugar daddy and then playing dumb when you ask him about an arrangement? Wow. Hope you dropped him QUICK.

    • I had the same issue last week. I had a great time with my POT SD but when it came time to discuss the arrangement his smile went away. He said he would consider it but I knew that was a lie. The next day he sent me a message breaking it off. I know he is wealthy enough but just too cheap. He said that he didn’t give allowances to any of the other women he met on SeekingArrangement. Probably why you’re still seeking dude, you’re on the wrong site. I can get a guy/girl to wine and dine me any night of the week but I signed up to a SD/SB site for a reason. It’s frustrating to weed through the salt daddies that want a cheap fuck. I have far too much to offer to settle for less.

      • Sabrina,too much to offer. Like what. I was on Sa website a while ago but alot of women want me to give them allowance to only talk .I mean, I can talk to women at a bar.Sugar babies,if you dont offer intimacy for allowance what do You offer.

      • Sabrina, I never date anyone on Seeking arrangements that I wouldn’t don’t outside the site. That’s my personal choice. I think the arrangement experience would be so much more fun and honest that way. I’m still friends with an ex SD, and that’s how it should be. You are not a professional sex worker, and it shouldn’t feel that way. You should only settle for people who you can consider a friend. If you can’t find someone now, just wait until it happens. It should be a great experience, not forced.

    • MILK him dry, that a potential sugar daddy. Do you know anything of anna Nicole smith, that girl milk that old man. Anna nicole is the definition of gold digger and sugar baby. Being a sugar baby is not finding a PERFECT match, it about MILK that 60+ old man and servicing his oldies need. Service that OLD dude, and maybe you will get an allowance.

    • I am a man. If I was 60 I’d look for a SB that was around 40. It just looks better and she would understand me better too. Someone in their 20’s at that point, they can’t really understand a man in that particular life stage.

  3. Hey there,

    I have a POT, who seems to be okay but he has some half-naked pictures (only wearing underwear) on his profile.
    It’s not viewable for the public, however I’m a little bit concerned.

    Is he a fake?

    I’ve never come across this issue so I thought, someone out there might help me 🙂

    • Hmmmm…that’s not a lot of information to go on to tell if he’s a fake or not. He might just be really, really horny or open with his sexuality. Watch how he talks and behaves, that should be more telling.

  4. Hi. I have also just begun looking for a SD. The first few that contacted me where just odd so I deleted them then I started talking to this guy, he sounds genuine well I think. We get along very well . We talk about stuff other than the arrangement,and he seems like a caring guy, we make jokes and talk about our favorite shows and food and places we would to visit.he even told me about he previous SR (not all details), just ordinary stuff. We haven’t talked much yet about the exact allowances but he lives in a city I want to move to and he offered to get me an apartment( as part of my benefits) though we haven’t met yet he ask if I need anything. Sends me cash to do my hair and nails just the minor stuff.so just a few nights ago while we talking he sends me a picture of he’s manhood. That creeped me out a bit. I didn’t know what to make of it, I hardly commented on it. But our conversation continued as normal. We haven’t agreed upon the SR yet and we have set a date for our first meeting . He says he will come to my town to see me . Then he said he would like if we spend the night together if I want, I haven’t yet gave him my answer. But I already plan to tell him am not comfortable with it not before we officially in a SR. so now the picture + spending the night together makes me doubt him a bit, could he be a fake?? Please help me out

    • Ah, the dick pic…why do men do that?! First of all, thanks for stopping by 🙂 And we’re happy you found someone you get on with…that being said, no one is a genuine sugar daddy until he does one thing: makes the arrangement official by giving you an allowance. To be honest, we don’t know if he is a fake or if he’s genuinely interested in an arrangement with you but we’d give you a few pieces of advice:
      1. Do not let him spend the night. He has enough money to get himself a hotel room. Just giggle and say you’re definitely not comfortable with that outside of an arrangement. Be sweet but firm.
      2. Do not give him too much of your time. It’s great to build rapport but you’re not at his beck and call if he’s just sending you bits of cash – nothing’s official ’til it’s official.
      3. Keep seeing other potential sugar daddies. The last thing you want to do is place your hopes on this ONE pot. Keep going on sugar dating sites, keep drumming up new leads. You don’t stop until you’re in an arrangement (and even then, still look for leads :))

      Good luck and wishing you all the sugar in the world 🙂

      • “Why do men do that” Seriously. You need to know “why do men do that”? oh ok. Because to them you’re pussy and now they want to be dick, sO that you two could get it on. It is a 100% TOTAL disregard of you as a human being. And they don’t care about your view of them at all whatsOever because you’re nothing but an outlet for them to dump inside. Clear now?

    • Girl I can’t believe you still fucking talking to him after he sent you a dick-pick. What’s wrong with you??? Don’t you have ANY self respect wow

  5. so I met this gorgeous guy, exactly my type, seems extremely genuine. he directed me to learn more about the process of how he is going to interview me over Skype asking a variety of questions and giving directives, to see how well I follow. the website is http://www.sugarlifeseties.com here’s what threw me off. though the site was very informative and interesting, there were typos in the text, and there is no such other websites called this out there. I would think that if this was such a sought after science, other people would have posted their experiences about it somewhere on the entire internet? the typos make me feel like he himself made this webpage.

    but…he’s very polite, and has been a complete gentleman. he offered to take care of the hotel accommodations when my mom comes in town next weekend, though when I asked if he needed our info to put on the reservation, (he does not live in town where i am) he responded with, i’ll put it initially under my name and i’ll change it on thursday. does that make sense? is that weird? or am I just over thinking the scenario. hmmmm…

    these sessions we just begun last about an hour and so far it has been awesome getting to know him. he knows my living situation is a struggle right now and offered to buy a condo or house of my choice, then when the mortgage is paid off in 3 years, he will sign the deed over to me as a gift and that he will put this in writing ahead of time so I have no concerns.

    obviously I wish all of these promises would become reality! I just naturally feel like, is this guy too good to be true or what?? or have I just hit the mother load?

    i’m excited, but I have some valid reservations. thoughts?

    • Hello and thanks for stopping by! Just tried to check out the webpage but it’s not loading at all. As for your question – we have to repeat what we always say: a potential sugar daddy is just that – potential. Many potential sugar daddies make an array of promises and some keep them and some don’t. The only way to make sure that you get what you want is to keep talking to new potential sugar daddies, going on sugar dates and keeping the lines of communication open with as many potentials as possible. This man may be the mother load…but he may not. We don’t say this to sound negative, but to point out that no man is a sugar daddy until he is meeting your needs in an arrangement. Until then, continue talking with this man and explore where it goes, but don’t stop pursuing other avenues as well.

  6. I have a POT that I actually considered to already be my SD…we met twice and I broke two huge rules, not sleeping on the first meet (I found out he was into bdsm and would let me wreck him so I just wanted to honestly) and he paid for like 500 of sex toys and gave me 160. Then the second meet, he gave me 100. It didnt dawn on me until I read this but it is pay for play and doesnt come anywhere near meeting my allowance. Im supposed to see him tonight…I think I need to bring up making an actual arrangement. Can anyone offer tips?

  7. So I talked to this POT but we talked over email discussing when we could meet up and what kind of arrangement I was looking for. He asked for some pictures and I sent him some, But now he wants nudes. Is he fake or just not worth it. He didn’t just come off the bat and asked for nudes. We talked a bit then he asked for nudes. What do I do?

    • Do not end this man or any man naked photos of yourself-EVER! You could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt and embarrassment and possible blackmail!

  8. So, I’m a brand new SB… I have NO idea what I’m doing. I’ve been reading through the comments, and a lot of them are helpful. I just need some basic pointers.

    1) Does the SB initiate the conversation or should the SD reach out to the SB?
    2) I know this varies, but how much should a woman expect to be paid? In the hundreds? Thousands?
    3) Should a SB just have ONE SD that she is loyal to? Or can she have multiple?
    4) If the SB frequently sees her SD, is there a boundary on how close they get? Can they call each other just to talk? Is it strictly business?

    I have tons of other questions but that is my main focus right now.


  9. Hi Caitlin- I too have the “correct” spelling of Caitlin, or so my mother tells me 🙂 . Like the majority commenting, I too am new to the SB/SD world and have been doing a lot of reading. I do have a question and haven’t been able to find anything on this particular situation in my research and would like your opinion? I have a SD we’ve been emailing and he seems like a great guy I’m getting good vibes (already weeded out a lot of the johns) he owns his own business and is out of the country right now for a couple weeks but would like to set up a meet once he’s back. I am in KY he lives in NY. I never mentioned once that I wanted him to give me money, he stated he would like me to take my SB account down and anything I needed consider it done, he wants to spoil me until we meet etc… I checked my email yesterday and he had transferred 4000 via fast access money transfer. I was very surprised. Where he is at he only emails me about once a day maybe due to having limited access but I ALMOST feel like for some reason I’m getting scammed. Don’t ask me why it’s like I don’t think it’s real or something.. Identity theft maybe? Anyways I followed the iinstructions and sure enough in order to get the western union I’d need to pay 400.00 BUT on the website it does say it charges 10% for transfers. I can’t tell and don’t know if I should stop talking with this guy- honestly though he seems legitimate I just don’t know where I’m more and he’d be my first if it’s just nerves and I’m being paranoid or what. Ever have a potential SD send money before ever meeting?

    • Hello, (correctly-spelled) Caitlin 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and telling us about your situation – we’re really glad you did and that you’re being a smart cookie and doing your research before diving into the sugar world. From what you tell us, we’re not able to completely declare this a “scam” or not, but there a few things about your situation that stand out:

      1. Have you actually met this man? To be honest, we have never come across a POT who was willing to commit to an arrangement before at least one date – even if we’d been emailing and having long conversations on the phone, the POT would wait ’til actually going on a date and seeing/interacting with you in person before committing to an arrangement. Even the POTs who were very, very interested waited ’til after the first date, so if you’ve never actually met this man – it doesn’t mean it’s a scam, but it is very unusual.

      2. What do you mean by fast access money transfer? Is it via Western Union? We haven’t used WU in awhile, but 10% for transfer fees is preposterous – it’s doubtful that WU would charge that much. Plus, from what we remember, the sender pays the fees on Western Union – you don’t have to pay anything (and certainly not 10%) to pick it up. If you’re getting this information from a link in the email that this POT sent you – disregard it and call up an actual Western Union place for details.

      3. In our experience, when you get a weird feeling in your gut – it’s worth listening to. You might not know why or how, but that feeling is usually spot on. There are times and situations where your brain can’t quite put a finger on what’s happening, but your gut somehow knows. That sounds a bit woo-woo, but it’s been really true in our experience.

      Last note – yes, a POT can send money before meeting. But it’s usually not a big amount, and it NEVER requires the SB to spend any money to get that money. In all honesty, we advise you tell him that you feel wary about that 10% fee and ask if he can send it to you another way (a pre-paid credit card sent to your PO box, for example). And see what he says/does. No matter what – don’t give him any personal information about you, your bank account details, and definitely don’t pay any money to get any money he’s offering.

      Those are our 2cents. Hope it helps and wish you the best of luck 🙂

      • I’m also new with this whole SD / SB thing and I have a guy that I only been emailing ( once a day) for a week and half now & suppose to had sent the same thing $4,000 through Western Union but I do not have the transfer code to process the instructions but everything she said sound about right. I’m just trying to figure out is he a FAKE as well.

    • oh BABE PLEASE DON’T PAY THE 400$ FEE CHARGE! I BEG YOU!!!!!! It’s a scam dear! because recently I just got the exactly experienced about that, we can compare the emails he sent to you and to me, I bet it is going to be same. he told me too that he will spoil me from now until we met and he sent 4000$ of money through paywisetransfer.com but when I checked it, they said I need to pay the 400$ charge. oh what a scam! I also found similar stories about it on google. contact me through my email: tempting67@gmail.com, I want to make sure that the guy is same and warn the other sugar babbies, actually this guy targeting to new sugar babbies.

  10. Hello. I’m fairly new (maybe 10 months now). I am on my second SD (first had some health issues and we’ll all he did anyway was pay my bills and only seen him about 3 times. Miss him and hope he gets better). But anyway new SD I’ve been searching for over a month (it takes time) and I ran into many fakes. Now this one I met for coffee and just talked a little about each other. Ima a plus size woman so it was his first time talking to someone like me so he says but he thinks I’m a great person and beautiful. Anyway we came back to my place because he was giving me a ride home. We spent more time just chit chatting. When leaving because he had a meeting he asked me to walk him to his car and I did. He asked me to get in his car and I did of course. He gave me a very small amount of cash and his business credit card (so he says) and that’ll he’ll be coming to get me tomorrow for lunch. Now he said he is giving me his credit card because he didn’t have much cash on him and he didn’t think we would’ve clicked that well and wanted to make sure I knew he was serious. But told me only use his card if if I really need to (I haven’t used it though). I want to use it to see if he’s really legit and he didn’t give me one of his old dead cards or something. I really can’t tell. What should I do? I’m hoping he’s for real and he comes and gets me for lunch because he told me he’ll be sure to have cash on him tomorrow. So I don’t know really what to think if he’s real or not.

  11. This is kind a right article but #3 is not true. Pay per date is a common way. There is no diffrence than pay montly, there is no legal aggrement on this type of relation. He can spend a month and go. If he want to pay per date, tell him he have to pay advance for first month and after first month you are okay pay per date. I think best is half of month allowance is for first date.

    • ‘Pay per date’ is the same thing as prostitution, because notice when you first meet the guy he is only paying for dinner and not giving you any actual money.. He will say things like he’s not going to pay you until you spend the night together.. Please pay close attention to these ‘pay per dates’ if you are meeting a SD, he’s paying you and you are NOT having sex with him then you are right, but I guarantee you this does not happen.

      • Just want to provide a slight clarification – there is a lot of variance in the sugar world. Some POTs – wherever you meet them – will give you money on the first date. This has happened to me as well as other sugar babies, whether to “lock you down,” or to just give you a little gift so you can go shopping, etc. Of course, you can also drop a tip or two at dinner – “I’m so excited to go to this concert, but I have nothing to wear!” And platonic SB/SD relationships, although rare, do exist as well. Here’s a sugar baby who’s in a platonic relationship.

      • The problem with giving first month allowance to a first time sugar baby is That The baby take IT and never contact the sugar daddy. I had happen to me once. I will never give first months allowance to a potential sb again. If an sb ask me to do that then i automatically think she is a scam artist

  12. Your advice is 100% accurate. I have been on seekingarrangments 3 separate times within a 2 year period. In that 2 year period I have only met about 5 guys. 4 of them wanted to peruse an ‘arrangement’ with me. The 5th guy seemed to want a relationship, he seemed confused about what site he was on… First of all every single guy was about 10 years older then he claimed to be. There was absolutely no spark on my end I was honestly embarrassed about being seen in public with these guys. Maybe I’m not cut out for these types of websites because I can’t just automatically sleep with some 60 yr old guy that I don’t know in exchange for a couple hundred dollars, or even worst having to play lovey Dovey with some old guy that looks older then my father. It makes me sick just thinking about it. My original intentions and still are (and correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t this the true definition of a SD/SB relationship) is to meet an older, somewhat attractive older men that spoils me immediately, Fendi handbags, shopping trips, expensive dinners. Then when I feel comfortable we take things to the next level. THAT is a sugar daddy. If you’re anything like me you’re insulted by the offers you’ll receive. Why on earth does an old guy who was obviously never attractive now think he can get someone like me with a low budget??! It really baffles my mind… You will also find out after meeting a couple guys that their ego is all boosted up because numerous attractive women have been meeting them for drinks. It really doesn’t click that they are in fact repulsive and the purpose of these websites are for women to find a SD, not because because we have grandpa fetishes.

    • Hi Natasha, thanks for stopping by! And sorry to hear about your unpleasant encounters, but keep your head up – as we mention, sugar dating is really a numbers game (kinda like regular dating :)) and most SBs will meet a lot of frogs before finding the right SD for her. That’s why we write articles like this – so new SBs can learn to weed out all the “absolute HELL NO’s” and spend more time meeting with ones that have potential…and they are out there, it just takes awhile to find them sometimes. Speaking from personal experience – I went on around two dozen sugar dates, pretty much all of them dinner (so that took like 2 – 3 hours of my time, each!) before I found my first sugar daddy. It can be frustrating but keep your eye on your goals, don’t let the bozos get under your skin and just use these negative experiences to streamline your search. Oh, quick tip – if you’re not already, ask to talk to them on the phone before you agree to go on a date with them. You can actually pick up a lot of things about a person over the phone – including their age, as weird as it sounds – as well as if you’ll have anything in common with them. Plus, if you use Google voice and they call you from their cell phone, their name will show up so you can google them for a recent pic and extra info 😉

  13. Hello.
    The article was very interesting.
    I am new in this all sugar thing.
    I meet this guy and he seems genuine.
    We have been talking for a month and yesterday we started talking about our arrangement.
    I want a platonic relationship and I told him I wanted 150 per meeting.
    He told me that was to much and that he was going to pay me only for some meetings and that he was looking for a friend with benefits.

    It just doesn’t seem right.
    Am I asking to much?

    • Move on. He’s looking for a escort not a sugar baby. Have a base.. I would never negotiate less then 2k/mo depending on how many times you see each other.

    • So you want 150 to ‘hang out’ with someone. Why women think they can earn A LOT of money and have one sided relationships with sugar daddies is beyond me. Most men searching sugar baby websites are older men who want to have sex with younger, attractive women, that’s just how it is, sorry but that’s reality. Why should a guy pay 150 to hang out with you? Are you like the cooler person ever? What’s so special about you that someone should pay 150 to ‘be friends’ with you? The entitlement is astounding.

      • We tend to view the world as we are, right? Many men – and not just on sugar dating websites – want to have sex with younger, attractive women. But there are also quite a lot who enjoy the company of playful, smart women and are willing to provide compensation for hanging out. $150 per meeting is far from an unreasonable request, granted she brings something to the table that the SD in question wants/needs in his life.

  14. Great Article! I started sugarbaby-ing on and off for 3 years ago. Was naive and fell for some splenda daddies. Now I have a successful SD/SB arrangement going on 5 months now. One thing, I wanted to add is aside from them asking for a test drive also stay away if they ask for a naked pic right up front. I was a fool few years ago and sent him a pic. We started an arrangement but it was 500 per date then a month later he said ” I dont feel like dishing out checks anymore but I want to still hang out” OK buddy..ditched him.. so ladies beware of that as well. Also I’ve learned dont fall for ” I will only pay you about 100 per month cause anything more daddies dont pay for” Thats a lie too, I get about 6k each month.. so its true, its possible, you just have to sift through the jokers to find your match 🙂

  15. Hey. I’m fairly new to this whole sd/sb thing. I just went on a date with a potential SD but after reading this article, I realized I might have underpriced myself.. He offered me, $200/visit, the visit should be at his home everytime, he said he won’t put a limit on the amount of visits. He is very respectful and nice, but I just feel like $200 is so… Little. I didn’t ask for money on the first date, he asked me when do I wanna start and asked me if I wanna start that day but I didn’t have the time and also.. I don’t want to be physical with a person right away (I don’t know how soon into an arrangement girls usually go there) and I went home not really feeling best about myself. He gave me a ride back as soon as he learned that “I don’t wanna start that day” and ugh.. I don’t know. It makes me feel so cheap and frankly.. $200/visit? He also said I can chill by the pool or stay over the night etc. That’s a lot of obligation for $400/week. What should I do? Move on to the next?

    • Just wo derived g what you ended up doing just started and had same offer of $200 per meet and only at his home because he is private.

  16. Hmmm, so many girls have claimed to be receiving or to have received $10,000 per month from a SD.Anybody with a half brain should have an issue with such a claim. What in the world is someone who can provide that much ($120K a year + other expenses involving dates etc) doing on such a website?.It is not far-fetched to think people who can provide that much likely drive Ferrari, Lamborghini etc which are chick magnet.

    • Mine is from a Diplomat who works 14-16 hours a day. He blocks off time in his calendar to see me so although he is paid highly he does not have the time to meet women and have the convenience of an on-going ‘relationship’ with terms included.

  17. Very few of the entries pertain to fake sugar daddies.

    Mostly, this is about bad people, though I’d also add a majority of sugar babies prefer to get $$$ every time they meet.

  18. The general rule is #spoiltheprincess

    A sugar daddy should always spoil his sugar baby.

    A princess deserves and must be spoiled and pampered.

  19. sorry for my bad english but you see all in ”your point of view” what about other part

    you can imagine how many sb girls are there per sugar daddies? a lot of first one,

    i believe you are very teoric and not realistic, that good kind of deal just some percent of people can offer it, i mean with lots of sugar babies there, not fit with quantity of sugar daddies also you find ladies that not so atractive [its this site about that right? guys cant date a sexy ladie, and the only way is that one]

    seeing amounts im able to do half of that numbers, i prefer pay per meet, what about if i give half and you say bye bye after couple of days? we not are stupid, thats why per meet i guess its a preference,

    • Hi Andrew, no worries and thanks for your comment. Yes, we write from our points of view but we do acknowledge that there is a wide spectrum of sugar daddies and sugar babies – and thus, a wide variety of sugar relationships. This is why we stress that the ideal sugar relationship is one that works for both parties involved.
      That being said, we do wish the best for our sugar baby readers (being sugar babes, ourselves) and try to give the best information to help them stay safe while getting what they want.

  20. Hi Caitlin
    I’m new to SD/SB world I want to sign up do you have suggestions on which site I should sign up to being my first time? Also a good starting range for allowance… I do have a kid is that something I mention on my profile? Or don’t bring it up unless asked….

    • You failed as a sugar baby, no rich man want you now. Time to take about getting a REAL job and raising your KIDS right. What example are you setting an example for you boy or girl.

      Boy: my mommy is living off some rich dude
      Girl: it ok to treat man like money bag, i’ll do it when i grow up too.

  21. So, I was offered pay for play from every guy who has contacted me. Highest was $500 and lowest was $100.
    of course their profile’s yearly income and net worth are really high but they put in “negotiable” for allowance.
    Where are you real sugar daddies?

    • you need to seriously look for another profession, if you can’t tell the different between escort and sugar baby. One is being hidden, and the other is sex for money. BOTH still deal with sex and money, don’t know the difference GET a real job.

  22. I may have done something totally naive, ive been talking to someone for a day after a few weeks of nothing much happening, he seemed nice and genuine and wanted to take me out for a meal, meet in in a nearby city or such soon. We video chatted but had gotten nude both of us, he didnt seem to think of it as sexual, he didnt say i was hot or sexy, just cute and chatted more. Was that way to fast?
    Im a trans man and am wondering if this puts up risks for me ( or just puts risks up for me as a person), or if i did something dumb, should i trust this person?, he wanted to meet for a day and have me overnight, does this sound da

    • Hi, as with many relationships, what’s “too fast” depends on you. It’s entirely a matter of what feels right and comfortable for you. If this encounter made feel like you went too far, too fast, then it might be better to go slower and at a pace you feel good with in the future. We generally advise not sharing any compromising information with a POT until you’ve met them, got to know them and are in a trusting relationship with them. Hope that helps and good luck!

  23. I am currently talking to a POT via email and we haven’t met yet and we won’t meet for two weeks as his contracting business thing won’t be in my city for another two weeks but he wants to already set up an allowance? I’ve never had anyone do that for me should I be worried or excited cuz I’m already excited.

    • Hi Merci, that’s great! Our advice would be to be excited – but approach with caution. Don’t give him any personal information that can compromise you including things like you online banking details. Check out our post for ways to get your allowance safely. Good luck!

  24. I don’t know about anyone else, but I get a lot of men who want phone sex without having to pay for it. One asked for my phone number right away and when he called he said he didn’t want to waste time getting to know each other he wanted to set up an arrangement and go forward with it because he was very busy and didn’t have time for anything else. I was a bit put off by this and told him so right away and he immediately became submissive and boyish and changed his tone from demanding to persuading. I listened to his pitch a little while longer and it started turning into a sexual nature with which he was describing his preferences and I told him I wasn’t interested and got off the phone. He called back several times acting like he wanted a fresh start but it always turned into a sexual conversation. I told him what he needed was a phone sex operator and he insisted that wasn’t what he wanted, but really he just didn’t want to have to pay one. I did some research on him and found out he held a very high position in a government career. He could totally afford to pay for what he wanted and he definitely could have set up an arrangement with me. I finally told him not to call me or contact me again. I had to be very firm and direct with him. He is just one example of many.

  25. Hi Caitlin,

    I have been reading your articles today and have to say they are very helpful (even the replies from other SB’s) I recently joined the SB/SD world with lots of researching to do.

    I am currently stuck on one thing..
    I have a POT who I am Interested in getting to know more and at some point meeting but I live an hour and a half away from him (a boring town btw) and the nearest airport is also an hour and a half away..

    How should I go about meeting him? Should he make his way to me even if I am far? And if there really isn’t anything to do where I live, is it ok to ask we go else where? I am pretty confused.. Also I haven’t discussed meeting with him yet as he is still out of the country. I’d appreciate any advice.

    thank you!

  26. What to do when your sugar daddy tell you, he lost his job? Is he putting you on a test or what? And plus I really care about him very very much and I don’t want to leave him.

  27. Hey, so I’m a new fresh sugar baby and I started talking to a man in his late 20’s on SA. When he gave me access to see his private photos, he looks and dresses like Eminem and posted a picture involving the amount of money he has,and it was a lot. He hit me up with a message, saying he’d give an allowance of 8k a month plus shopping/travelling expenses, meeting twice a week max and sexual availability is a MUST. Since I’m new to this I made it clear that I want to take things slow sexually and get to know each other first. Now we haven’t met yet, but we are texting a bit and he won’t stop bringing up sexual content. Should I just give this guy a pass, is there any sketchy signs I should look for, or should I go on one date and go for it?

  28. Hi I’m new to this sugar baby sugar daddy Arrangement and I actually have a couple dates that are going to be coming up meetings really soon and I’m just curious, we have the chemistry we talked on the phone and you emailing each other but now we’re going to be meeting each other for dinner and drinks I guess my question is once if it is carried out and we are going to make these Arrangements how does it work I mean like how do I get my allowance up front or do I get it at the end I mean because I can be His companion for a week or a month and then he could ditch me. and what they’re interested in and then I’m left without. and I’m sure it does happen but I’m just curious how does that work.

    • Hi Coco, it’s natural to have a whole lot of questions and doubts swirling around when you’re first starting. The thing about sugar arrangements is that there is no rule book to follow – the terms of the arrangement are flexible and totally depend on what you and your sugar daddy are comfortable with. The only suggestions we can make regarding your questions are…1. Allowance is better upfront (He may want to do pay-per-meeting or pay-per-week until he’s also comfortable with you. Remember he may also be worried that you might ditch him so dividing the allowance in the beginning can be a reasonable compromise) and 2. Until you feel secure in your arrangement, keep talking to and meeting POTs. Hope that helps and happy sugaring!

    • You need to serious look elsewhere for a sugar baby profession. Maybe this isn’t the career for you. Most of these lady that are actually looking for advice on the net, for being a sugar baby. Look at yourself, and see if you have the ability to be on your own. This blogger not going to make decision for you. Want to be a sugar baby, there are up and down, and many time you will get SCREW over… damn that the field you agreed to.

    • My advice will be to make the first date all about getting to know him. You can talk about the arrangement part the next time you meet.

  29. Been reading thru most of these comments, and many of these WANNABE sugar baby don’t have a clue on how to be one. It all about milk the man, not loving him. MILKING him for support, may as well be a sex worker if you are looking for love. Anna nicole smith is your goal, be like her and you are all GOLDEN. Don’t look for fake, be Anna nicole smith and you will be fine. Don’t want to be anna nicole smith, then get a REAL job, or continue to fall for the fake sugar daddy. Why be afraid if the fake one, it your life DO it. Your mind set is already mess up as it is. BE a anna nicole smith.

    • @ Inu – I definitely would NOT use Anna Nicole Smith as a role model – the girl ultimately killed herself with drugs, for God’s sake – do you actually even KNOW about her story? It’s a very sad one. I don’t even know why you’re commenting here, as you CLEARLY have no idea what the SD/SB arrangement is supposed to be. You actually sound like one of the “fakes” described here, and your use of the English language is atrocious!

  30. Hi! I recently watched a show on cable about SD/SB relationships, and it made me consider the possibility of a relationship/arrangement. So, I started Googling for information, and found this article. Very good information – thanks, Caitlin! Some of it is just plain common sense, and I definitely think that I will give it a try. I’m at a place in my life where I know exactly what I want, and what I’m worth … to the right person. I do have one question, though. I am a BBW mature lady, but young for my age, and I do know how to present myself well. I worked in the beauty industry for around 18 years in upscale salons, and got to know many upscale women who had “married well”, and heard a lot about how their lives were with their husbands – in many cases NOT a bed or roses by any means. It really helped me gain perspective on what is really important in a relationship, what’s really valuable. Most of those women were miserable because they were “stuck” with their sugar daddy, and that’s not for me. At this point, I don’t really want to get married again, but would like to spend quality time with a generous companion who values me as a person, and visa versa. That seems to be the epitome of what a TRUE SD/SB arrangement is all about, and that’s perfect for me. My question is: Where is/are the best site(s) for mature BBWs to set up profiles? I’ve seen several BBW/SD sites, but I really don’t want to have multiple accounts going, as it would be too time-consuming to tend to them. I’d at least like to weed the selection down to maybe two, and go from there. Any suggestions?

    A suggestion to all you young sugarbabies …
    The Greek philosophers Socrates and Plato both offered this advice – KNOW THY SELF.

    “Socrates says, as he did in Phaedrus, that people make themselves appear ridiculous when they are trying to know obscure things before they know themselves. Plato also alluded to the fact that understanding ‘thyself’, would have a greater yielded factor of understanding the nature of a human being.”

    KNOWING AND LOVING YOUR SELF will not only give you the confidence you need to find what you’re looking for, but the wisdom to know what it is that you DON’T WANT – while providing you the will to stick to your guns until you get it. ~ HUGS ~

  31. Beware of men who send one blurry picture and then refuse to send any more after that. If he is legitimate, he will not have an issue sending a few pictures of himself. If he refuses, it means he is likely not the guy he claims to be and has something to hide that he knows you will not like.

  32. Hello! I’m new to this ordeal and I can’t seem to find a sugar daddy cause I’m a BBW who doesn’t want to share nudes or talk sexy due to my parents. I just want an online guy with no dates due to my social anxiety in which I go into panic mode and break down when I don’t feel safe.. I know that is alot of restriction…But yeah.

    • that does sound like quite a lot… what are you even hoping to get in return for your time? What can you actually provide? To me, it doesn’t seem like someone with social anxiety is well-suited for sugaring, and I don’t know of anyone who would take you up on that, especially given that as a regular sb you WOULD expect something in return

  33. Hello ladies!
    Ive been talking a POT now for 3 days and things have been going great. He’s 5 hours away from my city but he travels often. He has a background check on SA and is a CEO of a company. He seems promising however I havent seen a picture of him yet..
    He told me that he had an arrangement before for 18 months, which is good because he has experience. It lasted 18 months until she moved.
    Ive been asking him when he would like to meet ( and he does want to) and said that today he will be able to find out when he can come down rather than me flying over there, sweet. Apparently he needs to ask his assistants and I did not get an exact date or verification of when we can meet.
    He does sound promising and well-spoken, however I do not want to get my hopes up for nothing
    Suggestions ?

  34. Hello, I’m new to Sugar Daddy dating and so far I’ve noticed that Sugardaddie.com is a lot different to Sugardaddyforme.com. Now in Sugardaddyforme.com I get tons of mails from guys telling me that they want to spoil me etc etc and then leave a number asking me to text them, and I never do because I dont want to give my number out. I thought about getting another phone but then it dawned on me…this could easily turn into a full time job. Is it normal to text people straight away or is this method just a ploy for guys with no photographs of themselves to talk to hot girls for free?

    • Hi Sophie, yea, the main sites are all a little different and draw different crowds. That’s why it’s great to sign up for a few of them. About the time-consuming phone calls – they’re actually one of the easiest ways to quickly bond with a POT (and check them out) without having to dolly yourself up and go on a bunch of sugar dates. Yes, it’s very much like a part-time job but the sugar search is intensive – at least until you get an SD you like. We’d recommend doing a bunch of phone calls with different POTS to suss them out and exchange a few texts with them before you meet. Afterwards, cull out the ones that aren’t taking action or don’t seem likely to be good SDs – this will save you time. Real SDs tend to be pretty busy and aren’t likely to want to text with random hot girls all day. Good luck!

  35. Spot on, love it! Am just looking to start sugaring and trust me, even without reading this I knew all those read fake, so am definitely in the right profession lol. But I’ve noted the additional points that will definitely help with the process. Thanks a lot for this article.

  36. I have a SD who claims he is being deployed to Iraq cause he is in the Army amd tells me i need to trust him . He claims to have all this money but when i told him i have a prepaid debit card for bank transfers and i would give him the account info but no personal info he stopped texting me. What do i do?

  37. Ok seriously my daddy told me he wasnt gonna pay me an allowance but only give me when i ask whicb i found abit hard but tried go do it.Now bes a type of daddy you ask for the money and gives you less than what you asked and sometimes you have to remind him 3times!Am thinking of cutting him off cze its not taking me anywhere.

  38. I am in the process of looking for a SD and may have potentially found one. He seems like the real deal but he keeps on making comments that he wants to “fool around” on Skype with me to test our chemistry. My gut is telling me not to, and I probably will not get naked or do any explicit acts on there in fear of being scammed. I am also fearful I may miss out on this being the real deal and someone legitimately interested in helping me out. *sigh*

  39. Please ladies, learn from my first (and unsuccessful) experience in the Sugar World: I met with older man and he brought up arrangement on the first date. He was very specific in how he wanted to help me and said he wanted to have all my financial needs covered. Rather than just paying me, he insisted on having all my bills paid directly through his account by his most “trusted secretary.” He required me to create an “Expense Report” (the damn thing took me hours to make, by the way) that listed out every single bill and provider account number, along with the service providers’ contact information (Eg: 800 #). Once I complied, it was excuse after excuse. In the ER. Confusing plans on when/where to meet. He was so damn good that he even made some of the delays appear to be my own fault. (Eg: I hasn’t told him my full situation so how can he possibly be effective in helping me.) Turned out I never got anything from him, except to listen to awful stories about his divorce and a week wasted of my life. Lesson learned: Don’t give out excessive details, or any details for that matter. In hindsight, I should have stated (after the platonic 1st date in which I should have insisted on focusing solely on impressing him and saved arrangement talk for the next), “These are my needs and what my schedule allows: $1K per week, in cash or on a prepaid Visa. I am able to spend a 2-3 hour evening/afternoon with you, twice a week, or a longer period of time, once a week. We can discuss special occasions as we move forward.” His immediate reaction and more importantly, action taken following, would have enabled me to weed him out shortly after our second meeting, at the latest. So remember to stay in control, don’t tolerate excuses and sugar on your own terms.

  40. Cool blog and thanks for taking the time to address some important issues we all face as both SB’s and SD’s…

    I’m an experienced sugar daddy and although much of what you’re saying is true… everyone is unique in what they’re seeking and/or providing. There’s a lot of entitlement going on in the sugar dating world. Why would I start forking out $5,000.00 per month for a platonic “arm candy” sugar baby? Sure there’s guys out there (like those 75yr old geezers) who simply want companionship but let’s not kid ourselves! We sugar daddies want intimacy and there’s nothing wrong with that!

    If I’m going to be your sugar daddy then it isn’t all about money… it’s about mentorship, friendship and chemistry! Too many young women nowadays want to have a sugardaddy as an accessory. They’re looking for a conversation piece so they can brag to their friends and show off all the luxury handbags and shoes he bought them… there’s a term for that and the French have nailed it with “Put Du Luxe” which simply means Luxury Whore. Yep a whore for clothes, shoes and handbags! Don’t believe me? Go to seekingarrangement dot com and you’ll get the picture.

    If the chemistry is good on an initial meet up then some sugarbabies are quick to get intimate so that an arrangement can commence. God bless the women who don’t waste time. If I’m going to be shelling out $5K per month then I gotta make sure there’s good chemistry in the bedroom… does that make me a “John” or a slpendadaddy? NO! it doesn’t… It makes me a smart, cautious and selective man. Why would I go into the AUDI showroom and buy the first car I see without test driving it? Silly silly SB’s just don’t get it!

    The sugar dating world has become overwrought with all sorts of professional escorts, johns, catfish, splendadadies, time wasters and a bunch of women who have absolutely zero intention of actually meeting & starting an “arrangement”. All they’re really doing is simply passing the time and seeing what all this media buzz is about. There’s also a lotta grifters and scam artists out there who prey on desperate wealthy men which is disgusting!

    Remember this one simple fact when you’re on your soapbox about how important you are and how you “deserve” to be treated like a princess and you “know your worth”… That’s delusional entitlement. There’s a lil thing called odds and these odds are in the sugardaddy’s favor… EIGHT TO ONE! Numbers don’t lie! We have the money, power and experience which younger women crave and adore. Just because you’re a pretty lil 19 year old thang doesn’t mean that you deserve $10,000.00 a month. Have a brain in your head. Have something to say other than “Gimmiedat” and “Gimmiethis”… That’s not hot. If you’re a real sugarbaby then you will act like a lady and not a spoiled rotten little brat!

    To finish my silly rant… This is DATING! Treat it as such and see if there’s genuine chemistry before you start hitting us daddies up for an allowance. It’s not only rude but also a huge turn off and extremely pushy.

    Have a pleasant day… unless you’ve got other plans.

    • I must say your comment about you do not buy the first Audi you see before test driving a few first, is possibly one of the most disgusting comments i have read… and makes no legitimate sense, NO woman that has sellf respect and dignity for herself will want to be intimate with a guy that is fucking anything that moves in the ‘hope of sorting an arrangement.’ If that is what YOU are looking for then i feel sorry for you.

      It also makes me laugh how hypocritical you are being in one foul swoop, you talk about the SB’s self entitlement complex, but then go on to have your own, like all the SD’s are a work of art.., come on. Everyone is on the websites for different reasons, and you are noone to judge anyone’s worth, they sell their own worth, for whatever reason they had to enter into this dynamic of a relationship.

      Thank god the SB’s do hold self worth against pussy hungery scammers, equally thank god some SD’s are respectful with their heads turned on and know what they want, and are not afraid to fork out for it, which is how the SD/SB dynamics first began before the internet.

      & I advise you ‘DaBoss’ to read back through what you put, and realise how self obsessed, entitled and jaded you sound… Upset a guy may part with an allowance, when that was one of the ways the dynamic of SD/SBs always worked.

  41. I have a pot who is insistent we meet at his house for our first meeting for our arrangement bc of his baby mama he’s separated with and trying to keep it “civil”. I told him to met in public the first time and he seemed unsure. I again asked him where would be the best place to met he again said his house and questioned if anything between is would go further as in physical I assumed. I said no. We were only making a arrangement and warming up to each other. He said well you know I need the physical stuff. I said I understood but it’s our first time meeting I wouldn’t feel comfortable and if was meant to work out that way it will eventually happen but not right away. I feel like he’s putting pressure on me already when I haven’t even met him but it will end shortly if he’s too focused on trying to get physical with me before I feel comfortable getting to know him.

  42. I need some help with getting that sugar daddy that is going to give me allowance an help me an I’m not getting any luck all I find is these fake me that want relationship an marriage an not want to be a sugar daddy to spoil me

  43. Hi Caitlin!
    So, I’m new to this and I already made a lot of mistakes.
    Firt of all, I take a nude picture and send it to two older man. Not of my face but still. I didn’t feel really comfortable with this but I tend to give in easily.
    I have been talking to them just a few days and the nude pic ocurred on the first day for one of them.
    Both live in another states and they plan to visit me in one month and the other in two.
    I can assume that beacause they’re businessman they have limited time. So my question is this:
    How many dates I can wait to have sex with them? Beacause they told they want to and that doesn’t really displease me (that’s the reason I’m on this site). I just don’t want they have the wrong impression of me. That they take me for granted and not be paid well.
    And another thing, neither of them still sends me money and I do not want to be the one who puts it on the table. I guess it’s still early but please, I want some tips to get an advance arrangement. I know I sound a little selfish but one of the reasons is to be able to buy nice clothes and look pretty for them.
    Please, help me.

  44. Hi, I’m new to the sugar world. I set up a profile on SA.com five days ago and the following day I get a message from a older man in his late 40s saying “oh the wonderful things i would do for a gorgeous girl like you” and have me his number wanting to chat or text with me. I still haven’t responded to his message so four days later he sends me another one. This time he asks if I have any plans for the 4th of July and he would really like to meet me if I’m interested along with his number again. I don’t know what to think! Is he a creep that wants to tie me up n have his way with me, torture & kill me?, Just a plain creep or just really interested? Help please!

  45. I met this sugar daddy on seekingarrangement he seemed very nice and kind we talked for a little bit and kinda got to know each other after an hour or so of talking he asked for my bank information and address so he can give me my allowance and a gift in the mail…should that be a red flag or is he being kind? I can’t tell.

  46. Hi there,

    A red flag for me would be a Sugar Daddy who wants to M&G at “his place”. This is a safety concern, even during the day time. He is looking for sex and who knows what else he has planned! Smells of cheap salt to me.

    Stay safe Sugar Babes.

  47. Is there like a public group , that everyone can just post random questions they have about sugar daddies? I’m new!

  48. Hello!I’m still new SB and I got one POT which he gave me a few money to let me get some lingerie.sound like creepy for you guys but it seems okay to me.I said to him that I don’t like to have sex every time we meet and he okay with that but still he want to do light she. And I’m okay with it.so is it normal? Because I’m feeling okay with it.

  49. I have a pot that has a fetish for bbw girls in tight outfits he is very persistent that I send him pictures but I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with sending pictures before I meet someone but he is consistently asking for them he said he won’t meet untill I send him a picture of me In Tight clothes and then I started thinking about it, coming arou d to the idea and then he was telling me today to make ecyra money I can make a video and post it to make money how do I dont know what to do I think he would be a good match

  50. Hi there,

    I am a Sugar Baby seeking a REAL Sugar daddy and I have two major issues. First, why do all men insist on unprotected sex right off the bat? I decided to do this and ended up with a sexually transmitted disease, which he payed for the be cured, but this just isn’t the point. Either men just want sex, pay per meet or they want to marry or date seriously right away. Why is it the man wants you to be exclusive, while he gets to play around? Any advice would be great. I am 30 but I look 20, I am back in school trying to get a good education and move forward in life.

    I met a great guy, wealthy, wanted to travel at the beginning of the year, but I think he was shopping around for the cheapest, hottest sugar baby he could find. He promised to help get me into an apartment, and the day I was to find out wether I did in fact get the apartment (which I didn’t thank heavens!) He ghosted me. Only to finally text me a day later with some excuse as to why he couldn’t transfer enough for first and last months rent into my account. Well, needless to say, we stopped seeing each other because I felt that at that point trust had been broken even with his sweet, romantic helicopter ride, and gifts and allowance. He later went on, a whole 3 short months later to marry another girl from the site. She is a few years younger and he turned out to be at least 10 years older than his pictures and what he told me.

    Anyways, Ive been trying to have a positive outlook on the future of finding the right sugar daddy, but it seems so many have lost touch with being kind. The new way of swiping right is wrecking havic on a possible dating situation because guys know they can get more than one girl. What to do!

  51. This was super helpful to read since a SD was Adam it about me trusting him and not being paranoid while asking for my login information. When I said no before I could block him on SA he blocked me. I’m new to this and don’t want to be played for a fool!!

  52. Hello, I’m very new to all of this. Once I put my profile up on SeekingArrangements I was flooded with messages. I clicked really well with this SD, so I gave him my number. He immediately sent me a dick pick and tried sexting me. It was really uncomfortable since I haven’t met him in person. But he tells me how great of a woman I am and how he’s excited to meet me. I guess I just want to know if this is really legit or I’m wasting my time. He’s asked me for nudes too.

  53. reading through the comments, I got an impression that an ideal sugar daddy type for most sugar girls is a sucker who pays thousands and thousands per month, gives expensive presents, pays for luxury trips and restaurants, but demands nothing in return at all! In that case, he will be rewarded by being called “a real man”! Is that so, or I got it wrong?

  54. hi, just starting to do some research.. recently joined SA and I’m honestly growing a little confused. are arrangements where you really are just friends and there is nothing sexual or physical involved even possible?

  55. Personally, I feel like Sugar Babies are too late. The escorting industry has exploded because it gives men what they want without BS. You know guys want to bang, so why would you expect money from a guy without giving him sex in return when he can see an escort for sex and spend way less in the long run?

    To me, the whole sugar thing is an example of the extreme narcissism and delusion the typical western female has developed over the past few decades.

    Let me be blunt: You’re not that important or interesting that a self-respecting man is going to part with his money and play the cuck while you have sex with every other man besides him. I see a lot of frustration from sugar babies and it makes me laugh. Your frustration is born from your self delusion thinking you’re special enough to get paid for nothing.

    Ladies, seriously, GET OVER YOURSELVES.

  56. Well I m very new to this whole thing and I met smb on a site and of course silly me found him soooo cute I got nervous and told him that the whole sugar baby thing is just terrible that if a man likes a woman he should just give her things she should not ask he said he liked the way I think and then when we met I asked him what type of arrangement he had with other women silly me !!! He said that he was telling women straight up that he would not pay for dates meanwhile he IS ON A SITE CALLED SEEKING ARRANGEMENT when we parked a car in Soho and were ready to go for dinner I saw an agent Provocateur store and asked him to get me my favorite parfum he got it for me then I got drunk and started touching his Private part after dinner he politely offered to go some place private I declined and started yelling at him for being on a site and I also interrogated him before dinner in a car I was acting jealous and I just met the guy !!! My God I m so sorry ladies I m so off topic i guess my advice to me lol cause u will never do my stupid mistake is to find smb who u r not that attracted to as much as Rhett say that there should be some attraction I told him never to bother me again even he asked for both of us to log off Not permanently DISABLE but LOG OFF yap but let me be quiet I m not very good at becoming sugar baby lol

  57. I’m new to being a sugar baby and I was totally unsure of where to even start so I came to this website. As I was reading this article I was thinking of a man who earlier in the day had been messaging me even though I wasn’t responding. He offered to pay me to come out tonight, used poor spelling, and bragged about owning a few clubs. Safe to say, even before reading this I wasn’t interested, but it was so uncanny to see him hit so many of the fake sugar daddy hints.

  58. Sorry, but #3 is dated. I get that that a ppm arrangement feels very transactional, but scammers or BP girls or fake SBs that take the money and run have driven many SDs away from monthly allowances. At least until some level of trust (both ways) is established.

  59. I just signed up yesterday on SA. Never thought I’d join any of these sites but sounded fun.
    Of course as every new SB on here, in came the hundreds of likes and emails. Hard to sort through them…but found a BABE, in his early 40’s…like i’m pursuing him that’s how hot this guy is lol.

    I saw that he viewed my profile so I messaged him thinking it was maybe a fake account, but what the heck!
    I forgot about it and he messaged me back. I got super excited and we chatted a bit and asked him for more photos. Again thinking CATFISH..he said he would through another app since he had a UK phone number, (I made sure to check that the area code was from where he said he was from on his profile). Anyway he sent me more photos and again holy shit…total BABE…but seems very relaxed of course probably gets hounded by woman on the site. I asked him why he was on there and he was honest and said he liked the simplicity and honesty as well as the sex and he just likes to spoil hot chicks lol. I mean I’d sleep with this guy if he were broke kinda sexy. I responded one word and he said something back that didn’t really leave anything to say back…but i felt I was bit dry and trying to play hard to get which I checked myself bc this isn’t real dating. So I responded something cute hours later after showing I’d read his message and asked what kind of arrangements he’d had in the past since he’d been doing this on and off for a couple of years. He hasn’t responded and obviously, I’ll leave it be..but should I let him pursue me like real dating and make it a challenge or be available and easy but classy and witty since we both know what this is??


    Also, you gotta be really careful on these sites and with these men. Yes, it’s just like dating, find men you’re actually semi attracted whom might share the same interests and pursue it. Reach out to as many as you think you might be suitable and go from there meaning yes, tell them what you expect upfront. Ask what them what they’re looking for. Be honest, say I want to find a mentor and friend and see where it goes, and honestly in need of of financial assistance for X Y Z. Don’t be pushy be sweet and kinda see what they do, if if they squirm or don’t contact you again. You have your answer. Also don’t be afraid to tell these pompous assholes to fuck off if they’re not being respectful and willing to treat you like a lady.
    I had a guy today email me and said he’d pay me $700 for 2 visits per week to have sex and when I was on my period he’d still give me money and take me shopping. I told him I wasn’t a prostitute and to kindly fuck off. He said I was being rude and prostitutes didn’t getting shopping sprees and 700 per visit…and good luck finding someone that wanted companionship only which would be old geezers. First he wasn’t attractive and second don’t fucking propose sex if it’s your second email to me…but I guess best to find out that sooner than later!

  60. I will be meeting a POT tomorrow and my best and only friend who knows i’m doing what i’m doing is coming with me. We’ve only been talking for a day and he already wants to meet. He will only be in my city for today and tomorrow, which is why he wants to I guess. Is it normal for a POT to want to meet this soon? I’m quite nervous about the meeting, because I come from a conservative family and if my parents were to ever find out I’m doing this I would be disowned, even if my reasons for doing this is to help my mom out with my college tuition. So far, he doesn’t seem to be a fake, but I could be wrong. He doesn’t do any of the things you listed in your article so I’m assuming it’s a good thing? Or at least he hasn’t yet…

    • “Is it normal for a POT to want to meet this soon?”
      Not usually, but if you don’t meet reasonably soon, you probably never will. A window opens, and then it closes. If we have a messaging dialog going on, I try to meet in 3 to 10 days. It is harder to sooner than that anyway to get schedules aligned.

      I would rather meet three POTs in one day and find out they are not my type than be writing to them for two weeks to do that.

      I don’t know how it looks from the other side, but I have found that the best SBs I’ve ever had are only on a site for a few days. I search every day for new users, and it is almost always a first day message that turns into a relationship. The good ones go really fast.

  61. I have been talking to this potential sugar daddy for about 2 weeks he is overseas. We haven’t talk on allowance and plan to meet winter. Should i talk tp him about money now or wait fews months. He is my 1st sugardaddy. He seem like a nice person. But we are very far from each other. Should i be patient and wait till winter or drop him?

  62. Hi there! So I haven’t officially joined SA yet, but I’ve been bouncing around doing research for awhile… and I’m intrigued. I’ll be moving to a new city soon, which means lots of new expenses, and I’m seriously considering becoming a SB. One of my biggest concerns though, is that I’m really not comfortable with a non-platonic relationship; I’m not interested in sex (or anything intimate) being part of the deal. I’ll gladly be a support system, confidant, etc. but I’m wondering if that’s going to be an issue. Do you (any of you) think that listing in my bio that I’m not interested in an intimate relationship will pretty much set me up to not find a SD? I’d really like to develop a close friendly relationship, but I don’t want them to think I’m a tease or holding out or something equally ridiculous. I don’t want that to be part of the arrangement. Thought? Or helpful advice for a potential new SB? Thanks 🙂

    • (Ladies please don’t jump to bash me. I’m sharing this from a man’s point of view. After all, the man is the SD)

      Hey Karen! For the first part of your question, be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for. Put it in your bio. The last thing you want is to lie and you both have different expectations. You’ll be wasting each other’s time. Be honest, and you may find that lucky SD who only wants a platonic arrangement. Just don’t hold your breath… As for the next part of your question, you’re going to have a hard time. Some of the sugar babies in here have a SEVERE sense of entitlement and think they should be rewarded $5k just for their pretty smile and time, without offering anything of value in return. That’s called a “bill”. Don’t be like them… To be frank, really the only thing of value a sugar baby can offer a man who pretty much has everything already is intimacy. She’s not going to give him investment advise, or a new business contract, or rare sold out tickets to a game, or even help him tidy up or decorate his home/condo for him. Now I’m not saying it’s impossible, but finding a SD who ONLY wants a platonic relationship is like finding a needle in a haystack. And if you do manage to find him, chances are he’s old and an AARP VIP member. Majority of men want an intimate relationship. You must add value. Value is what gets you paid and a long term SD. If he sees there is no value in paying for your time, he will move on to the next that will. The best value a SB can give is intimacy. We are too busy to make time to date and create it on our own. That’s why majority of us are here. Just know, all men are creeps. You just have to find a creep who’s also a gentleman and generous… Btw, when you do M&G, treat it like a real date. Get to know each other and see if you could potentially deal with that SD over time. Here are 2 “turn offs” that will get you cut off: 1. Acting like a bill collector, especially early on. 2. Bait n switch/a tease.

    • You are viewing this wrong.

      I will add to what the other Joe said.

      Why would a wealthy man want to spend time with you AND give you money?

      What are you bringing into the relationship? Nothing. If a SD wanted to go to a nice dinner, have a good conversation with a woman, maybe give her some spending money, and then not have sex, he has a wife, a mother, a sister, and a daughter for that. He doesn’t need you.

      Platonic isn’t the right word and I wish it were not used in profiles. The correct word is charity, because with charity one person gives and gets nothing in return.

      What you should do is change your perspective. Instead of looking for a SD who will give you money without sex, look for a boyfriend you want to have sex with who will give you money. Some women turn them into husbands in some cases, but if you don’t want a husband, then it is much easier because his age and marital status do not matter.

  63. If a POT starts to “ghost” you, or doesn’t respond to your calls and/or texts, before and/or during a relationship, RUN! These guys are A WASTE OF TIME!

    If a POT doesn’t respect your smallest wishes (like, for instance, calling you what you WANT to be called), put and end to the relationship. It’ll only end in resentment anyway.

  64. Hello there ! Very helpful information and insight to what this is all about . I am new to this myself and don’t know too much of what I’m doing I’m just being myself really and being friendly and showing my personality. I’m a modest and simple girl , frugal too. However I met a POTas you call a potential SD yes? I sent a message to him and he replied with a message back stating he was very interested in me and that he hadn’t found any other matches ( I felt the same myself as I was getting a little bit put off by the inactive profiles for a reply back) he stated to email him and that he was going to deactivate his account prior to when he found what he was looking for . I couldn’t respond back as he deleted it right after that message ! I emailed him and he mentioned that he was happy I did and also asked me about my hobbies i, if I liked to travel , if I lived alone , and that he was going to make my time worth it , and wasn’t a time waster , he also asked me if I’d delete my account to be fully attentive of each other . I made sure I put out there what I was looking for and kept it friendly , I told him my hobbies and my living situation, and what my passions were. This all happening in one day . This is my first encounter so the email thing made me skeptical lol but I now know it’s normal . Are there any flags I need to be weary of? The deleting my account kind of seemed a bit off but it sounded genuine ? Also , can we talk about safety ? What does one to for safety to make sure she’s not going to be in a compromising situation or potential dangerous situation ? Maybe I’m thinking to much but I want to make sure on how to keep myself in good hands. I don’t want to get kidnapped or anything! Thank you for reading !

    • Don’t go with him unless you think you can trust him.

      As far as deleting your account, I insist on exclusivity. Once I have established an arrangement (we’ve slept together and allowance has started), I ask that she delete her account if she hadn’t already and I do the same.

      It is out of respect for each other and to the extent of the terms and time period, we made a commitment to each other. There is a good feeling just knowing the other person will be there for you.

      Not everyone wants exclusivity, but I’ll tell you that works both ways.

  65. I was recently approached about being an SB. I had 87 questions. I found it random, curiou, and intriguing. Especially because this man while 20 years my senior was very arrractive to me and seems well rounded. I asked for a picture of him holding his license so I could determine if I was being catfished or not. We live across country so I’m finding a lot of the tips helpful as somethings don’t necessarily apply to me but are nice to think about. I asked for specific details and double asked a few extra things. I’m 36, and I never imagined someone would want this type of relationship with me. Seems almost too good, and like he’s getting the raw end of the deal. If anyone has additional articles I can read from different websites I would greatly appreciate it. I want to be a well educated baby, and make sure I’m the best for him

    • I would NEVER show ID to someone I haven’t met.

      One SB and I did not live near, but she was where I traveled to often. We messaged everyday for four weeks and got along great. She was very afraid of criminality and we came up with a way that I could prove to her I didn’t have a criminal background immediately upon meeting.

      We met in the middle of a campus with lots of people around. I was satisfied when I saw her that she was who she said she was. I handed her my concealed handgun carry permit, which you can’t get with a criminal background and that satisfied her concern. We were such a great match that we started an arrangement that day. I miss her.

  66. I’ve been on & off that site for a few years, as has my best friend who has been more successful than me. I get caught up in making an arrangement and telling them what will happen… but that’s all they want. They want free sexting and then cut me lose when it comes time to meet or PAY. It’s frustrating AF.
    My biggest issue has come with guys who are supposed “subs”, these male submissives waste SO much time. Days and days of constant texting, then they take off when you want money for your service. They don’t listen and don’t follow commands, then ghost you.
    If a man claims he’s a sub, give him 5 mins or 10 texts MAX before you ask him to send you a token amount to know they are serious 9.9/10 they will not pay and you can cut them loose.
    Also, NEVER agree to anything less than $500 per meet, no matter what. And a meet with sex over an hour needs to be more, overnights need to be at least $2K. REMEMBER, actual prostitutes are $250/hr or more, don’t be a cheap whore to these fake SD’s that can’t afford a hooker and try to take advantage of desperate women. I usually get $1k-1500 and that’s with only a BJ if he’s nice. Don’t accept less and these men will learn.
    And NO ONE, NO MAN, is on there for a platonic friendship, grow up. You will need to have sex with a SD. End of story.

  67. Hey! So I’m talking to a POT and I’m not sure if it is legit. Okay so, he uses Skype messenger and is kinda private- doesn’t really ask too many questions. He puts me in touch with his past SB and while her and I are talking he responds to my last message to him…although I googled it and you can’t be on two Skype accounts at once. One of the first thing his last SB told me is that he has trust issues to start and so he comes across somewhat “business like” and how for the first month when they were talking she thought that he must be a fake but was desperate so she continued and it worked out well. So that is a bit of a red flag… The other thing is that I can’t find her online, and the Skype picture is ever so slightly blurry. So I’m not sure. The final question/issue is that he is “trying to decide” between me and 2 other girls. And as of now it is apparently between me and another girl. While talking to his last SB, she said that she was in a similar situation so she asked if he would want to video chat and she put on a bit of a show for him…. But then when he was messaging me later and I asked if he had any questions for me (because all he knows is my age and that I’m a student), he said that he would like to video chat with me and mentioned that he is video chatting with the other girl later. He told me he had time in 1/2 hr and then would be busy for the rest of the evening. I ended up at the last minute not being able to chat, and he said he was busy but would try to make time tonight… I dunno, am I reading too much into this because I’m jilted from my last couple POT that turned out to be skeezy…or is this a weird situation?

  68. I read this article, and as an experienced sugar daddy – this is very much a one way – greedy article that if followed – is sure to make me delete your number as soon as the date is over.

    This is a relationship that goes both ways. I have been approached by senseless greed (10k a month – in a town where a nice midtown apt rents for 1500), challenges (if you don’t send me venmo, then you are fake), and girls that are ONLY after what they can get, and haven’t even bothered to understand what I am looking for.

    I’m always up front about what I am looking for, my budget, and that I am looking for more than something as cold as pay-to-play and yet I have strippers coming out of the woodwork thinking they are going to flail me for a quick buck.

    My best relationship was actually my most affordable – and she never asked – simply because we enjoyed our time together – and both understood our expectations and needs.

    All she wanted was to not worry about rent while going to school, and to have a nice car – both were well within my limits, and so it became fun giving her extra gifts, trips, and spa days. It was a fun friendship while she was in school, and we are still in touch with each other today – although she is now married.

    For all the potential babies out there. Understand that there are some of us that know what this is about – and we don’t need games, ultimatums, challenges, or greedy demands. We know where your heart lies, we have enough wisdom to guide you through some of life’s rough spots, and we know how to make it fun, safe and exciting.

  69. I’ve recently matched with someone through a regular dating app. They quickly told me their intentions and linked me to their snapchat handle and phone number. I added them on snap and when i later went back to their dating profile it said user no longer exists. Which was a red flag for me. I’ve been chatting with them for a day and they just ask me what I am up to. I am new to this and unsure how i should go about making arrangments etc.. Should I continue talking or is this a scam waiting to happen

  70. I’m on seeking arrangement. I am new to being a SB. None of the men that have messaged me have asked to meet me they just ask my name and about me and a photo. and they said I would send you this every week. and wanting my bank info. I don’t trust giving my bank info out. I asked to see photos of one of the SD and he send me photos that looked like he got off another persons Facebook profile and the photos looked like average guy that would work at Walmart or in a factory and not SD will a lot of money to give a SB lol. I blocked him fast. I just haven’t met a SD that wants to meet in person. What kind of photos should I put on there and what kind of writing should I put in my bio. I am plus size and I am a single mother of two. I don’t want to give my bank info out. I want to meet in person and get my allowance that way so I know he’s real and the money is in hand (not like a hooker that sounded bad )

  71. Hey.
    I actually work part time as a pro domme, and Was approached by a SD online.
    He said he was looking for a SB for daily conversation, hangout, shopping and golfing, arm candy at events that kind of thing. In exchange he pay bills and living expenses. I asked if there was ‘anything else required as part of the arrangement, he said no to anything sexual, unless I desired otherwise.
    He asked about my bank details or a if I had prepaid card (which I don’t) I said no to the bank details and he assured me he was trustworthy, I said no outright. He sent me screen shots of banking details to show he has paid out money to other before. Even told me his SSN to show I could trust him. I still said no, and that I prefer cash, and was fine waiting til we have a chance to meet in person. He said that he respected that and wouldn’t press the subject again unless I bring it up. So far in our chats he has been polite, gentlemanly, told me where’s he is from (but does travel for work) what he does for a living and the name of his company. I’m still so weary about scammers but does this sound legit to anyone???

  72. What a shallow, biased, greedy little article :).

    I am new to this game and never had a SB before but I would rather have a “House Maid” contract with a potential SB or put her on the company payroll as a public relation manager, rather than give her cash. This way she can pay her taxes and rack up retirement points like any other professional while at the same time I can write out her services as a legitimate expense.

    Also, those posts about “platonic relationship” and “public face” I read here are mostly a fantasy. There are two university degrees and a 30 years of experience that will likely divide us, what can we possibly talk about for more than 10 min?

    So, a SB will not be a house maid cleaning ironing and cooking (I already have one so the position is taken) , we just established that sharing a passion and long conversations is rather unlikely. Then what else is left on the table but sex?

    And, before somebody asks, why not escorts? Escorts are border line illegal and present health, and personal risks I am not willing to tolerate.

    So, am I fake?

  73. I am brand new to this and am talking with a few SD’s now. Two seem legit but another two not so much. How does it work or when is an arrangement discussed for a businessman who wants to see you whenever he’s in town – because his home and business is in another town so he comes only once or twice a month. If he’s only in town a day or two, do you treat the first meeting the same or how is money dealt with then? This other guy lives about an hour away which is fine because I’m in the area a lot but he’s available beginning at 6. I asked about meeting for a drink and he said we could meet at a bar but he doesn’t drink and he doesn’t do dinner…but he has a huge jacuzzi in his backyard. Quickly deleted that guy. Please help on the other? Thanks 🙂

  74. Hi, I’m, new to this whole thing. I have started chatting with people and often they say they have to “test me” to make sure I’m honest. Then they usually ask me to send them $30-$50 through paypal and they promise to give it back on my first allowance. Should I trust this?

    • I’ve gotten this a bunch of times too and I’d like to know if it’s a scam or not before pursing anything. About 4 potential sugar daddies have asked this of me between $10-50 “test” to see if I’m trustworthy. I’m unsure about it because I’m new to this and I don’t want to be ripped off when I’m already in the hole as it is.

    • No don’t trust this! It’s a scam an actual sugar daddy will never ask you to b pay them first, or for your bank info

  75. I was glad to catch a cheap fake SD just today.

    We proceeded with our chats on telegram as FAITHFULDADDY suggested. In the beginning of the chats, he was not willing to verify his income nor show his face. I proposed a PPM coffee date as our initial date and we agreed on a PPM rate. He asked if I would be down to move to a private place after coffee “if we click”. I responded yes if the atmosphere is right and he is caring. Then we moved on discussing at what point I will be paid. His response: “After the coffee, IF we decide to go to somewhere private, I will pay you $xxx (1/2 of the agreed PPM amount). Then, before we leave (hotel), I will pay you the remaining.” I politely asked what if we don’t click? He said “Then we will separate our ways. I am not inclined to pay $xxx just for a coffee date. Just like you don’t want to be taken advantage of.” I explained that my time and energy should be compensated even if we don’t move on with the “private place”, and suggested that in this case I will be fine with just 1/2 of the agreed PPM amount at the end of the coffee date. He tried to bargain to pay only 1/4 and I declined. After I wished him good luck on the search, he immediately deleted the entire telegram chat between us as well some of his messages on SugarDaddyMeet.

    It wasted me a couple hours going back and forth for the pre-date chats and sending photos; however, to think positively, I have saved myself from a potential miserable date which may cause more loss to me from energy, time and money (He did not offer the transportation cost) perspectives.


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