Do sugar daddies fall in love? Of course they do. In fact, it happens more than you’d think to both sugar daddies and sugar babies.
It’s not the intention of most sugar arrangements but hey, we’re people too. And when we’re constantly in the company of someone who makes us feel so good…sometimes, you just can’t resist.
But what do you do when it actually happens? Love is, well, lovely, but it can seriously complicate a good arrangement. Here’s how I’ve learned to navigate the “feels” in the course of my journey as a sugar baby.
Do You Want Sugar or Love?
A sugar daddy falling in love with you can be an amazing thing – if that was your end goal for your sugar journey.
But not all sugar babies want to start a relationship with their sugar daddy.
Unless you entered the sugar game with dreams of picket fences and happily-ever-after, having a sugar daddy fall in love with you is usually a pretty awkward situation to find yourself in. Especially if you’re a sugar baby to “catch sugar daddies not feels.”
And it’s a delicate situation that you need to be very careful in handling. After all, it’s not just feelings on the line – your arrangement, your allowance and your friendship are all riding on how you navigate this unchartered territory.
Although, this situation is not as uncommon as you think.
Do Sugar Daddies Fall in Love?
For starters, when you are spending a lot of time with your sugar daddy, it is natural for a bond to develop.
And although people outside the sugar world seem to always think it is the sugar baby who falls in love with the unobtainable sugar daddy who won’t leave his wife – I have yet to see this happen. It’s usually the reverse.
Which is pretty understandable when you think about it.
Whether your sugar daddy is married or not, you become his fun escape and that can be intoxicating to any man. Having attention lavished on you by a young, beautiful girl has to be a bit of an ego boost and any smart sugar baby will have identified her sugar daddy’s needs and will be doing her best to fill those needs.
Plus, the chances are, he’s seen you at your best and only your best. He probably hasn’t seen the side of you that is sometimes bitter and argumentative or in sweatpants with your hair in a knot. In his eyes, you are ideal.
Considering all that, it’s not surprising when the “feels” happens.
Signs Your Sugar Daddy Loves You
Feel like your sugar daddy has grown sweeter and more attentive? Is he offering to do things for you that are way outside the terms of your arrangement? Does he get that look in his eyes whenever he gazes at you?
Or maybe he’s just gone ahead and said those 3 not-so-little words.
There’s no denying it: he’s in love.
This has happened to me. I had a sugar daddy who was not married. He was single, young and had a hard time dating because he was traveling every three days for work. Every time he would come to Atlanta, we would meet up for dinner or drinks.
It started out that way at least. Then, I would be in Florida visiting family and he would make a special trip to come and see me there – staying in a hotel nearby and taking me out occasionally. This continued for a couple of months, then he started asking me if I would like to fly to him.
The time we spent together was very romantic and I could tell he was starting to like me. He had tailored his business schedule for me, asked me to accompany him on cruises, and texted me daily with normal conversation.
The more we talked, the more I started to develop feelings for him.
One day, he sent me a text message saying, “I have a question” followed by “What are your feelings for me?”
And just like that, we started dating.
But that is just one just situation with one particular sugar daddy. There have also been other arrangements in which feelings would have only complicated what would be better left as an arragnement.
Which brings us to the first option of how to deal with a sugar daddy who’s in love…
A (gentle) reality check
If you’re a sugar baby who’s worth her salt, you’ve mastered the art of bringing all the best elements of a dream girlfriend to the table – i.e. fun companionship, emotional support, rapport, humor, flirtation – while leaving all the undesirable aspects out of the picture – i.e. crazy jealousy, nagging, pressure, and you-never-do-this-for-me type of whining.
So it’s no wonder he’s fallen in love with you!
Most sugar daddies understand that even when sugar relationships grow close, intimate and seemingly perfect – the terms make it so that it’s not a “real” relationship. But sometimes, sugar daddies do get confused.
The best thing to do in this case is to give him a reality check. One way I’ve done this is to gently remind him of what he originally wanted from an arrangement.
Your sugar daddy probably told you in the beginning what he was and wasn’t looking for in an arrangement and now is the time to remind him of that – that he preferred the convenience, comfort, no-strings-attached nature of an arrangement for a reason.
If nothing else, it brings subtle attention to the fact that the two of you are in a SD/SB arrangement – not a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship and it may be enough to shake him out of his love trance.
On top of this, unless you are also looking for a legit relationship, I would recommend trying to establish some distance if you feel like your sugar daddy is beginning to develop real feelings for you.
But if that doesn’t work, you may need to have a talk…
Let him down gently
If you find yourself in a situation where your sugar daddy has fallen head over heels but the feelings aren’t reciprocated on your end, it’s time to make a judgment call.
I found myself in this exact situation when I was in London. A man I had been seeing for only about four months confessed he was in love with me. He claimed he’d “never felt this way before.”
He had been married twice so I’m not sure how much we can really trust him on this!
In fact, I’d almost bet my favorite Gucci purse on the fact that he wasn’t in love with me at all. He was in the middle of a nasty divorce at the time and really needed someone to talk to. Most times, he would get emotional and I basically became his therapist.
He had also gained a good deal of weight throughout the breakdown of his marriage and was feeling very low. I simply knew what he needed and became exactly that. And he fell in love with the idea that a young girl half his age would want to spend time with him or find the time to listen to his problems or worries.
I did enjoy the time we spent together and we did forge a friendship. But I certainly wasn’t in love.
In this sort of scenario, you really only have two options: either you need to end it (gently!) or let him down and then try to continue the relationship anyway.
Option #1. End the Arrangement
If you are happy to end it and walk away, I would advise you to obviously let him down easily. Unrequited love isn’t easy at any age so tell him you’re sorry but that you just don’t feel the same way.
This is almost the easy way out – the real trick is how to continue the relationship even after letting him down.
Option #2. Let Him Down and Continue
In my case, I started by telling my sugar daddy that I simply wasn’t ready for a commitment like that and that my degree had to be my main focus. Men on sites like Seeking tend to be more mature and will appreciate your honesty.
But I knew his ego may be slightly bruised. So when we left each other that day, I followed up with a text letting him know that I was still interested in seeing him but that maybe we should have a bit of distance for a week or two.
We gave each other this time and then I phoned him asking if he wanted to meet for lunch. When we met, I didn’t avoid the subject (although I was tempted) and I told him that while I wasn’t in love with him, I did miss his company and that I didn’t want to throw away the relationship we had built up until this point.
Let Him Decide
From this point, it has to be his choice. He might not want to continue in a relationship where you do not feel the same way he does. If this is the case, wish him the best and find your next sugar daddy!
Luckily, the sugar daddy I was seeing at the time was happy to continue the relationship we had and we saw each other almost the rest of the time I was in London!
Happily ever after…?
Of course, there’s always a third scenario – you’re also madly in love with your sugar daddy too, in which case you can ride off into the sunset together!
And in some cases, that just may work.
But in most sugar relationships, it’s good to remember (for both sugar daddies and babies) that part of the reason the relationship works so beautifully is because it’s an arrangement that’s been devised to meet each other’s needs – without the traditional “messiness” of a traditional relationship.
One pre-emptive measure you may consider taking is to make sure your sugar daddy understands from the start that it is an arrangement you have as opposed to a typical relationship. You’re not his girlfriend, but you are his sugar baby!
This is usually what most sugar daddies are looking for anyway – the connection without all the markers of a regular relationship. All the fun parts without any of the stress. Some men you will meet may be looking for a girlfriend or a wife.
But these aren’t the guys for you if all you’re in the market for is a sugar daddy. You’re best waiting for a man who’s on the same page as you.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Aly, aka The Travelholic Sugar Babe. You can check out her sugar baby story here!