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How to Message a Sugar Daddy to Grab His Attention

One of the first skills you’ll need to learn as a sugar baby is how to message a sugar daddy in a way that gets a response. Because trust us when we say, you’re going to be sending a lot of messages if you want to be a successful sugar baby.

But being the one to start the conversation can be intimidating. As an attractive young woman, you are used to being the recipient of attention, not the pursuer.

Yet, it’s an absolutely essential skill to learn. Here’s why.

  • The competition is rife. The rules of sugar dating are different from mainstream online dating sites like Hinge or Tinder where all you have to do is sign up and then you’ll be inundated with messages from interested men. This is not the case with sugar daddy websites where the sugar daddy to sugar baby ratio can be as bad as 1 sugar daddy for every 8 sugar babies! So if you want to stand out above the competition, you need to be proactive.
  • You can choose the best sugar daddies. You know what you’re looking for – a sugar daddy who you have a great dynamic with who can also take care of your needs. Who better to find this person than you? By being active in your sugar daddy search and messaging, you guarantee that the men you chat with are the ones you’d be happy to be in an arrangement with.
  • It’s a numbers game. Simply put, the more sugar daddies you interact with, the better your chances of finding the right one for you.

As you can see, it’s essential that you know how to message a sugar daddy in a way that gets his attention. So how do you do it? Here are some tips on writing the perfect sugar daddy greetings to get you noticed.

How to Message a Sugar Daddy

Before we get into specific examples of messages you can send to a sugar daddy, let’s cover a few general tips. These are the most important things to keep in mind when you message a sugar daddy!

Be Interested

You have to be interested in order to be interesting. Plus, if you’re not interested, it probably won’t work out well.

The easiest way to know whether or not you may be interested enough in a potential sugar daddy is to actually read their profile. It may seem like a lot especially if you’re going through tens and even hundreds of profiles, but it may be the wedge in the door to starting a great conversation.

In your potential’s profile you can learn a lot about them as a person and even what they’re looking for. That can help you bypass a lot of the 5 W questions and get the conversation moving in a more interesting direction.

Their age, location, and general information about their life and expectations can often be found on their profile. If your potential daddy is scant on the profile info, don’t be discouraged, that’s still something to go on, a little mystery is always fun.

Try opening a conversation around that. Tell them you’re intrigued or curious, mention why and ask if they’d be open to talking further.

Share Something About Yourself

Remember that conversation is a two-way street. So as much as asking a potential sugar daddy questions shows interest, it turns into an interrogation if you don’t volunteer information about yourself as well.

So share a little tidbit about yourself when you reach out. A great way to do it is to comment on something in the sugar daddy’s profile and how it relates to you.

This isn’t only a great way to connect, it also makes the conversation progress easier and faster at times.

Keep All Negativity Out of the Message

One of the most important rules on how to message a sugar daddy is simply this: no negativity. This is your first interaction with a potential sugar daddy and you want to put your best foot forward.

So make sure that your message has an overall positive vibe.

That starts with assuming the best, instead of the worst. Do not talk about your negative experiences with other potential sugar daddies on the website. Or your dire financial situation. And definitely don’t ask a sugar daddy to prove that he’s not like the others.

Keep it short. Keep it simple. And most of all – keep it positive.

So, on that note, let’s start with what specifically NOT to say.

Bad Sugar Daddy Greetings

There are some sugar daddy greetings that will make a potential sugar daddy pass on you before you can say ‘sugar.’ Here’s a short list of things you want to avoid when messaging a sugar daddy for the first time:

  • Non-starter, bland messages like “Hey” or “How’s it going?
  • Dime-a-dozen, trite messages – “I like your profile” or “I like fine dining too!
  • Mention your problems – “I’m a poor student and my car just broke down, I really need some $$$.
  • Criticize or talk negatively about past arrangements or people you’ve dated – “I’ve dated too many bums and now looking for a sugar daddy to treat me right.
  • How you need or want money – “I’m looking for a sugar daddy to pay my bills!” or “I need $xxx by Wednesday for rent.
  • Anything about the sugar daddy’s money situation – “How much do you make?” or “What’s the usual allowance you give to sugar babies?
  • Ask potential sugar daddies to prove themselves – “You need to pay me $xxx for the first date to prove you’re not a time waster!” or “Send me a gift so I know you’re serious.
  • Mention the sugar daddy’s age – “You’re in good shape for your 60s!” or “I normally don’t date men over 50 but can make an exception for you.”
  • Be sexually explicit – “I’m a kinky student looking to be bad for the right $$$.
  • Make demands – “I’m looking to be spoiled in a long-term arrangement with a minimum allowance of $x,xxx plus luxury vacations, gifts, and spa days.

In general, avoid sugar daddy greetings that are bland and unmemorable. On most of the sugar daddy websites, the men are outnumbered by the women. They receive tons of emails per day so make sure your email stands out. And skip any mention of money or sex in the first messages to a sugar daddy.

So what should you write instead?

Good Sugar Daddy Greetings

A good sugar daddy greeting is the bait you use to reel in potential sugar daddies. So it’s got to catch his attention and prompt him to reply. Here are some ideas to get you going:

  • Ask what he’s looking for. An easy conversation starter is to simply ask what he’s looking for – i.e. “What brings you here? Is it for a bit of fun or a deeper connection?
  • Share something short and sweet about yourself. For example – “I’m a 23 year old fresh college grad who’s brand new to this city and on the hunt for the ideal brunch spot. Want to share yours with me?
  • Focus on the present. If there’s some sort of event going on in your city, it’s the perfect opportunity to ask if they’re going. You can also do this without any special occasions. For example – “Happy hump day! How is life treating you this Wednesday? Do you have any special weekend plans?
  • Ask a personalized ‘would you rather’ question. For example – “What’s your perfect first date? A walk and picnic or a night out on the town?
  • Make it catchy and witty. Humor is the best way to go. If you can make him laugh, you’ll probably be the one he’s taking out to dinner.

In general, ask questions and make jokes about things that are specific to his profile. Be cheeky. Be friendly. Just don’t be boring.

Last but not least, our favorite sugar daddy greetings are to focus in on something specific in his profile and then ask him about it. For example, if he mentions he’s a foodie, ask him about his favorite cuisine. If his profile says he likes traveling, ask him about his dream holiday.

Let’s see this in action with a couple sugar daddy message examples you can use…

Sugar Daddy Message Examples

The best sugar daddy greetings have two components:

  1. Show that you read his profile or took the time to notice something about him
  2. Ask a question that will tempt him to answer, keeping the conversation going

The best part is that this formula is pretty easy to do. And the more you do it, the better you’ll get. Here are some sugar daddy message examples that you can use:

  • Welcome to our humble town! Your profile says you’re new around here, where do you hail from?
  • Hello *insert name*, I love your pictures, especially the one of you bowling. I’m an avid bowler myself. Would you be up for a game sometime?
  • Hello there, I noticed that you have the world’s cutest dog. Will he join us on our first date?
  • Hi *insert name*! I’ve read hundreds of profiles and you’re the only person who’s a yogi/fellow vegan/into salsa dancing/scuba diver/into spirituality. I think we’d get on like peanut butter and jelly. What’d you think?
  • Hello, fellow travel lover! What is your favorite place in the world?
  • You mention that you like sushi. So do I. We must be soulmates. What’s your favorite sushi joint in town?
  • Hello there, your profile is seriously impressive. How did you accomplish so much in life? I’d love to pick your brain. Are you interested in being a sugar daddy mentor?
  • Hi there. Your movie taste is spot on. I’m not a fortune teller but I can see you and me, Netflix, a bottle of wine, and happy times in the near future. What do you think?
  • Hi, I noticed you’re going to be in my area next week. Well, good news for you – I know this place like the back of my hand. Would you like a tour guide?
  • Hi *insert name*, I love how active and fit you are. I’m also constantly on the move, which leads me to think we could have some fun adventures together. How do you see us spending our first date?
  • Hello, fellow wine lover! Your picture at the vineyard made me smile, especially since Napa is one of my happy places. Want to finish off this week with a lovely wine tasting session for two?

What If I Don’t Get Replies?

It is OKAY if you do not get a reply. It sucks but that is the reality of sugar dating. Most sugar babies will tell you that they have lost count of how many messages they sent out and never got replies to.

Don’t ever take it personally because there are so many factors why you might not get a response. Maybe that sugar daddy never came back on the site. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in the lifestyle anymore. Or it could even be that he was a salt daddy who opted out when he realized he had to pay for an upgrade before replying to messages.

All you want to do is continue to send well-written messages that tempt sugar daddies to respond to you. Forget about worrying whether they will reply. Just keep sending those messages and in time, you’ll get replies from the sugar daddies who matter.

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