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How to Ask a Sugar Daddy for Money – And Get It

The question of how to ask a sugar daddy for money is something that most sugar babies quietly dread. We all want the sugar baby allowance, the moolah, the cash. But even the most experienced of us can find ourselves getting squeamish when it comes to actually discussing money with a potential sugar daddy.

Most sugar babies worry about everything from coming off too greedy and scaring off the potential sugar daddy to how much she can reasonably expect given her looks, age, personality, and so on.

If the thought of asking a potential sugar daddy for money terrifies you – don’t worry, you’re not alone. And it’s totally natural. Most of us simply aren’t used to asking for money and don’t have the first clue on how to go about it gracefully.

Luckily, we’re here to guide you through it. Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • What to do before you ask a sugar daddy for money
  • Our tried-and-tested method on how to ask a sugar daddy for money
  • How to get a sugar daddy to give you money online
  • How to talk money with a sugar daddy you met offline

Let’s dive in.

Before You Ask a Sugar Daddy for Money…

What you do before you ask a sugar daddy for money is every bit as important as the actual ask itself. It allows you to choose the best candidates and set the stage so that you end up with the answer you want.

Here are a couple quick tips on how to prepare for the money talk.

Build rapport first

Who are you more likely to give $5 to? A random man who approaches you on the street or a friendly neighbor you chat with whenever you run into them?

Most likely the neighbor.

Even if you’re not close with them, you’re more familiar. You know about their lives. And you feel like you know them and they know you.

This feeling is important. And it’s crucial to develop it before you blurt out what you want. So instead of asking a potential sugar daddy for what you want right away, take the time to build rapport first.

The best way to do this is to engage in a bit of feel-good small talk. Not just mindless prattle about the weather. But ask about their interests, passions, and try to best to relate and connect with the potential sugar daddy.

Read: How to Talk to a Sugar Daddy to Build Attraction and Connection

That bit of conversation serves an important function – it’s the social lubricant that will grease the wheels to a productive conversation.

Impress Him on the First Date

Some sugar babies prefer to get the sugar details established and out of the way before the first date. But there is a big argument to be made for waiting until after the first date.

You see, if you have an amazing first date before you have “the allowance talk,” you have a big advantage going for you.

Which is simply: He’ll want to see you again.

If you do the first date right, he’ll desperately want to see you again. He’ll be eager for an arrangement. And that sets the ground for you to tell him what you want – and get it.

Set the Mood

Before you have the arrangement talk with a potential sugar daddy, make sure you’re perfectly calm, playful and confident. A fun tip we have is to calm your nerves and set the mood for yourself by listening to some sugar baby songs.

Read: Sugar Baby Songs to Rock Out to While Finding the Perfect Sugar Daddy

This may not seem particularly important but it’s so crucial that you’re channeling the right energy. You need to portray fun, carefree, good times, without making it serious and business like – all while talking business.

Weed Out the Fake Sugar Daddies

Two major red flags that we recommend looking out for are:

  • You Want Money?! Potential sugar daddies who try to negotiate whether you need a PPM or allowance at all are not worth the time or effort. Remember that what’s up for negotiation is the nitty gritty of how much and how often. NOT whether you’ll be receiving sugar. If a potential sugar daddy tries to suggest you’re greedy, entitled, selfish, or thirsty for asking for financial benefits – cut him loose.
  • What Do I Get Out of It?! Beware of potential sugar daddies who talk as if it’s a business deal and they want to bargain with you over nickels and dimes. These aren’t the men that you want to be seeing anyway and there is no point having the talk with them. They’ll only see you as property they’re paying for as opposed to seeing an allowance as an investment into a developing relationship.

Remember that a sugar relationship is still a relationship at the end of the day. Although there is obviously a financial aspect to it, you’re not a piece of property and the relationship needs to benefit both of you equally. A man who treats it too much like a business deal is probably more of a ‘John’ than a sugar daddy.

You don’t want these fake sugar daddies, but they may still serve a useful purpose…

Tip: Practice Asking Sugar Daddies for Money

This is a bit of an unusual tip but you know what they say – practice makes perfect.

Before you can start receiving what you want from your sugar daddy, you need to practice asking for it. This is especially true if the thought of asking a sugar daddy for money makes you feel squeamish. Or you can’t approach the topic without clamming up.

You need to practice.

We highly recommend this exercise. It’s easy to do, completely free, and it’ll give you a chance to practice both asking for what you want and your phone manner. Plus, you’ll probably get a few laughs out of it, too.

Here’s how it goes…


Our favorite sugar daddy website for this exercise is Sugar Daddy for Me since they have an active chat function which allows you to communicate instantaneously and a lot of sugar daddies who use this method. Plus, the site is completely free for sugar babies.


A Google Voice account is free and an absolute must-have for sugar babies. We love this thing since it provides you with a free phone number that you can connect with your real phone to receive phone calls from potential sugar daddies without ever giving any of them your real phone number.

It also has a few useful functions like having the caller state their name (so you can keep track of who you’re talking to:)) when calling and a phone log where you can view all your voicemails, texts, and the whole call log.

Absolutely brilliant. And free.


This is very different from what you’d do when you’re actually looking for a sugar daddy. Instead of searching on the sugar daddy website for profiles that appeal to you, you want to seek out the profiles of men you’d never, ever consider for your sugar daddy.

Pick out a handful of these no-go-sugar-daddies and message the ones who are online. Chat with one for a little while and then ask him to call you on your Google voice number.


During the first few minutes of talking to this man who you wouldn’t consider for your sugar daddy, practice bringing up the topic of allowance casually, but firmly, and then practice asking for the amount you want.

At first this may be a bit unnerving but practice makes perfect. Remember to rinse and repeat ’til you’re comfortable asking for exactly what you want and you’re able to do it in a graceful, natural style of your own.

Once you’re a natural, you’re ready to start talking to the potential sugar daddies you actually want.

But once you find one who seems to be the real deal, how do you go about negotiating the best allowance for yourself?

Here’s what to do…

How to Ask a Sugar Daddy for Money in 4 Steps

We get it. It can be really scary to ask someone for money. But keep in mind that it’s not like you’re meeting someone on Tinder for a first date and then blurting out, “I want $x,xxx every month.” That would be awkward.

But when you’re meeting a potential sugar daddy that you met on a sugar daddy website – you know and he knows what the deal is. There is little point in beating around the bush.

Plus, there are always those few fake sugar daddies on every sugar website who are there to see how much they can get without having to give. Setting financial expectations early on lets you know for certain whether the potential sugar daddy you’re talking to is for real or if he’s just a Salt daddy.

Read: My Salt Daddy Experience: How to Spot the Signs of a Salt Daddy

Either way, knowing how to ask a sugar daddy for money is an essential skill for a sugar baby to have. And it’s actually a simple process to learn.

Here is our tried-and-tested way lesson plan on how to ask a sugar daddy for money.

#1. Be Realistic

One of the smartest tips on how to ask a sugar daddy for money – and get it – is to make sure that what you’re asking for is possible in the first place.

To do this, a little research is necessary. But you probably don’t want to ask him straight out so it’s best to do a little reconnaissance of your own before you even bother having the “talk.”

Here’s how to do a little due diligence on how much a potential sugar daddy can offer…

Start with the location

If you’re living around the wealthiest, biggest cities – near NYC, SF, Houston, Chicago, London – it’s more realistic for you to ask for more money. There is a higher chance of the sugar daddies in your area being wealthier than average. Plus, they’ll understand that your living expenses are higher too.

On the other hand, if you’re in a small town, there may not be as many sugar daddies who can afford big city allowance amounts. So be realistic about what your location offers.

Do a little digging

If you’ve chatted or met the potential sugar daddy in question, you probably have his email address and phone number. Maybe a real name. Perhaps a business card.

Try to search for him and his background online and see what you can find out. You’d be amazed at how much you can find out with a name, a phone number and where he works.

Look into details like his position at his company and search around online to see what the average position for that salary is.

If he’s a business owner, in the investor class, or has inherited wealth, finding out details about how much cash flow he has in a month or year will be more challenging. In these cases, it’s important that you focus on the conversation you have. Actively listen to what he says about what he does and his overall lifestyle.

Determine his range

Once you get a good idea of his salary, do a quick calculation of the taxes he’d pay so you can get a better idea of what he’s bringing in every month. On top of that, factor in some of the usual expenses people have, i.e. a mortgage, car payments, etc.

Also, consider if he has kids. This is useful to know from the get go since if a potential sugar daddy has a family and is the sole breadwinner, he may not have much money left over for a sugar baby (kids are expensive!).

Here are some examples:

Five figure salary. It’s fair to assume that if he’s on a five figure salary (let’s say, like $80,000/year), he’s really not going to have a lot to share with you to begin with.

He might just be looking to pay for a plane ticket or two to have you with him on business trips since his company will pay for things like transportation and hotels, making this entire endeavor a low cost pleasure for him.

In which case, you’ll most likely want to dismiss him or keep him around as a Splenda Daddy. Your choice.

Low six figure salary. If he’s making a low six figures (let’s say, like $120,000/year), he might have a little left over to provide a modest allowance for you.

High six figure salary. Now, if he’s in a better position, say $180,000 and up, he could be in a position to provide a higher allowance.

Now that you have a pretty good idea of how much the potential sugar daddy might be able to afford, you just have to know how to have the “talk” – but don’t do it before you know what you are negotiating for…


It’s definitely always best to know exactly what you want before you even start.

  • Are you in it to get all your living expenses taken care of?
  • Do you simply want some couture pieces to add to your wardrobe?
  • Are you interested in avenues of investing and want mentoring?
  • Are you looking for connections to help you further your career?
  • Do you want to travel and see more places?
  • Are you good on living expenses but want luxury experiences?

It helps to write down a list of all the things you want from sugaring – seriously, ALL of them. And then ask yourself: If I could only choose three of these, what would they be?

For example, let’s say you want your living expenses covered and that’s numero uno. In this case, start by calculating your monthly expenses.

Here’s how one sugar baby, Aly, aka The Travelholic Sugar Babe, did it:

When I lived in New York, my rent and bills came to approximately $3,000 per month so that’s what I wanted. Whenever I was speaking to a new man, I would tell him this right off the bat and most men who wanted to move forward were happy to cover this.

I was also working at the time but it freed up my wages on dinners or trips with my friends. While obviously not every man was willing to cover those costs for me straight away, it was always better to go in with a figure in mind (even a rough one).

When I first started out, it was a little different. I had just turned twenty and was still living at home with my parents in Southern Cali. I had no rent and minimal bills to pay. It was for this reason that I tended to prefer a lower allowance of approximately $1,000 per month, accompanied by gifts.

One sugar daddy I was seeing at the time was a head buyer for a major department store in New York and would visit California twice a month for business. We met every time he did and he’d bring me a gift all the way from NYC. Gucci quickly became a favorite brand of mine!

Another man I was seeing was quite serious about education and on our third date, he bought me a MacBook for college! Instead of giving me an allowance, he also preferred me to put money towards my student loans (which I was glad to do).

It all depends on your needs and wants at the time so know this before you start asking a sugar daddy for what you want.

FAQ: Should I Ask the Sugar Daddy How Much He Can Provide?

Instead of asking for what you want, should you ask the sugar daddy how much he’s willing to give you? No, not a good idea.

If a man hears you ask him the most he is willing to give you as an allowance, he will automatically start with a low figure as he knows you don’t have a number in mind. They didn’t get as successful as they are by making bad business decisions so be smart!


It’s great to know what you want but you also have to be realistic. The potential sugar daddies you speak to will have expectations as well. If you’re asking for a huge allowance but only willing to meet once a month, is that fair?

It’s just as important for you to ask the potential sugar daddy what his expectations are.

  • Does he want to meet just once a month or will he want to meet you twice a week?
  • Will you have to fly to meet him?
  • Does he expect you to be on call whenever he wants to see you?

The truth is that sugar relationships vary widely, depending on the needs of both parties. What a sugar daddy is willing to offer naturally depends on what you’re able to offer him.

For example, if you’re looking for a platonic online sugar daddy to video call with twice a month, it’s not reasonable to expect the same allowance as a sugar baby who’s willing to be in a monogamous and intimate sugar relationship with a sugar daddy she sees several times a week.

So try to get a baseline idea on what you’re both looking for. If you’re so far away on expectations that you can’t even see each other, he’s not not the sugar daddy for you! Most men will appreciate you being direct and honest and it really does get easier the more experienced you are.

#4. Ask Him What He Wants First

Once you know the range that a potential sugar daddy can provide and you know what you want and are able to offer, it’s time to have “the talk.”

But you don’t have to go first and blurt out: “I want $xxxx!”

Instead, let him go first. Start off the conversation as any other and gently guide it toward what he wants out of this.

An easy way to start out is by asking how their previous arrangements worked and in turn, telling them how your past arrangements worked (if you had any). This gives both of you ballpark expectations and is always an easy way to start the conversation.

The point is to let him talk about the expectations he has for this arrangement. That will help him convince himself of the benefits he’ll be getting. It also establishes that when you talk about what you want, it’s clear that you’re not asking for favors or handouts.

Because he’ll have a clear picture of what’s in it for him. Now all you have to do is share what you want.

#5. Ask the Sugar Daddy for Money

If you’ve done all of the above, the stage is set for you to ask him confidently for what you want.

Here are a couple tips on going about it:

  • Be confident. Remember that you guys met on a sugar daddy website. Talking about the financial compensation is part of the deal. He knows that. You know that. So don’t hesitate. When the topic comes up, be ready to say your piece confidently.
  • No entitlement. The last thing you want to say when you ask a sugar daddy for money is anything that comes off rude, demanding or entitled – i.e. “I know what I’m worth – it’s $xxx per date or don’t waste my time.” “I want $xxxx and I won’t settle for anything less.
  • Let him be your hero. A lot of sugar daddies like the feeling of investing into their sugar babies and helping them be better, more successful people. So mention your personal goals and dreams. Be excited about it, let him see how much his financial contributions will help. Whether it’s a laptop for school or an allowance to see you through a career change, let him know.

And of course, make sure to emphasize the aspects that will most appeal to him, i.e. pleasure and fun. You can begin by saying something like, “I was thinking about what you were saying the other day, about how you’d love to_____, it got me thinking…what else would you like?

How to Ask a Sugar Daddy You Met Offline for Money

There’s a reason why sugar daddy websites exist – they are absolutely the best places to meet potential sugar daddies. Unlike the general population, the men who join sugar daddy sites know what a sugar relationship is and are actively seeking it. Which means you don’t have the extra hurdle of convincing a potential sugar daddy to give you sugar.

But occasionally, you might meet a potential sugar daddy offline. So how do you go about asking him for money? It’s a question we receive often, so we decided to post one here.

A Sugar Baby Asks…

“I have a question. Approximately 2 weeks ago I met a businessmen at an exhibition. He has plans on taking me with him on business trips abroad etc. We have talked about our relationship being solely for pleasure and fun as he has a family back home.

However, we never talked about money or the status of our relationship. Now, I do not want him to assume that I will go on trips and spend weekends with him without getting anything in return. As we have not met on an actual site I am not sure how to make this clear. Could you please help me with this??? I hope to hear from you ASAP.”

Hello, thanks for writing in, it’s a really good question. Honestly, it can be a little trickier with potential sugar daddies that you meet in real life although that’s not always the case. That’s why we recommend going through the best sugar daddy websites since the expectations are clear from the get go.

But as any sugar babe will attest to, some potential sugar daddies can be a little…dense when it comes to ironing out the monetary details, whether you met them on a specific sugar dating site or not.

So the first thing you need to do is figure out if that’s the case for this particular sugar daddy before you waste your time.

Our Answer…

For this particular potential sugar daddy, this is a man who actually has very little to offer you in terms of a real relationship. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to compensate you for your time and energy.

To see if he’s willing to do so, you just need to have one conversation. Be agreeable, express that you’d like to accompany him too and that you’re just as excited…and then then see if he’s sugar daddy material by taking a soft approach.

The soft, easy approach is to show your excitement and willingness and then say that it probably won’t be easy for you. After all, you have a full-time job (if you already said you didn’t, say that you got one or just interviewed for one that you think you’ll get) and a weekend gig as well.

As much as you’d love to go away with him, it would mean sacrificing these financial opportunities. At this point, if he’s sugar daddy material, he’ll offer to compensate you. Smart men understand opportunity cost. And from that point on, you can just hash out the details, keeping in mind your sugar goals.

If this soft approach doesn’t get an offer from him, the chances of him being sugar daddy material are slim. Our advice is to let it go at this point and move on. After all, there are a lot of fish in the sea.

113 thoughts on “How to Ask a Sugar Daddy for Money – And Get It”

    • Elle, sweetie your blog needs to be renewed. I was curious so I clicked the link. I can’t retrieve it. You needed to update as of Oct. Please do so I can check you out. Thanks?

  1. Hi there,

    Just curious…I’m a new SB without a SD just yet. I find this article helpful but how do I come up with a value for myself? I have no idea how much I would ask for even if I knew my SD’s income. How do I figure out what I am worth…

    • You are worth more than anything.
      Easy way to figure out is to leave it up to him and if he offers you less tell him thats not going to be enough for u
      This way u ll always end up getting more than u want to ask for. And great thing about it is ur SD will always think u r not a burden because he gives u whatever he decided so u will be a sweet SB for him this way

    • Hey Ash, honestly I would say check up on his annual income then take 15-25% of it and that’s what your sb annual income should be, of course you can divide it however you’d like (weekly, bi weekly, etc)

      Just a little rule of thumb I used starting out!

    • You are worth whatever you think an hour of your time is worth. You are considering this gentleman and the more time you spend with him, the more you are worth. It really all comes down to how much time you are willing to spend with him. If you do that, you can start with, say, $25 per hour?

  2. I don’t have a web site. I am a woman who is super cute, sexy I am told :-). I am just tired of working my body to the bone and not having anything to show for it. I don’t have family here where I live. A girl needs to save rite? I am interested in a man who is sexy and forth rite. I am kinkey if you know what I mean… I am 5’1, 125 lbs, green eyes, blond hair, medium length, size c pierced tits and white.I am just drained, Doing this thing we call life all alone, has got me wanting more. I need good sex and an allowance so I can, join a gym and make all off your desires and mine a reality. I want to buy lingerie and shoes and beautiful clothes. I want to pay my bills and take care of my pets too. I have Chihuahuas and cats. I love to travel and if you can take care of me I will sooo take care of you… in any way you like as I know you will do for me. I have NEVER posted anything like this before, but as I stated, I am tired of doing life alone, let me make you happy and in return…. the sky is the limit.

  3. Let me just say, bravo! I can’t but your book down. It has been extremely helpful and I am taking notes to the T. You are very thorough and I firmly believe when I am finished with my research, your tips will put me on top in the profile game as well as on making a suger daddy FEEL. I am paying attention.
    Thank you so much for writing this. It would have taken me months of trial and error to figure this valuable insights out.

  4. Seeking Arrangement lists the average allowances on its site annually. Used to be $2800/mon, now up to $3300/mon. This article says it’s $5000/mon! Where do they get this stuff?! Just feeds incorrect info into young girls’ heads and then they start calling all men “sand” when they find out they can’t get $5000/mon for sitting at a dinner table using their iPhone.

  5. Interesting article. A couple of observations.

    How does Seeking Arrangement have data the average SB payment? I’m doubtful that SBs report back their earnings to Seeking Arrangement.

    The author’s math is fuzzy. $60K of $270K isn’t just 22% of the SD’s income, it represents 40% of his income after taxes. After taxes, all things equal, $270K is around $150K (take my word on this). Also, people who make that kind of money have expensive houses and toys (again, trust me on this). Only the most generous of SD (the 1% of the 1%) would sink that much money into a SB. And she will likely look like Angelina Jolie, but smarter, more articulate and charming.

    • Exactly my thoughts. This author is setting unrealistic expectations. Some areas of midwest a sugarbaby will be luck to land 10k as allowance. Now if someone from california flies her over than its a different stories. Most SBs dont mind occasional travel, but most are unwilling to locate. They can go to big cities for dates, but than its nothing more than escort.

  6. I am new to this and I signed up on suggardaddie.com. I want to know if you have any tips on how to make my profile stand out? Should I be blunt and up front? Also I am really shy and I’m surprised I’m writing this now but I do want to find someone I can spend time with and have spoil me. But I do have two kids. Do you think that matters? Please help me.

  7. Wish I had a sugar daddy to spoil me n make me comfortable tired of bs men love to just chill n spend n travel lol hope that’s not to much n maybe love never know

  8. I have a question Caitlin.

    Approximately 2 weeks ago a met a businessmen at an exhibition. He has plans on taking me with him on businesstrips abroad etc. We have talked about our relationship being solely for pleasure and fun as he has a family back home. However, we never talked about money or the status of our relationship. Now, I do not want him to assume that I will go on trips within and spend weekends with him without getting anything in return. As we have not met on an actual site I am not sure how to make this clear. Could you please help me with this???

    I hope to here from you ASAP.

    • Hi Victoria, we started writing a quick response to this and it quickly turned into a post. You can check it out here: sugardating101.com/qa-how-to-talk-money-with-a-sugar-daddy-you-met-in-real-life/
      Hope that helps and keep us posted on what happened!


  9. Is 40 too old to be considered for a Sugar Baby relationship?
    I look much younger and prefer older men anyway. Should I even bother trying a sugar site?

    • Hi Sarah, not at all. There are sugar babies well into their 50s, check out Hattie’s real sugar baby story if you want to know of just one example: https://sugardating101.com/sugar-baby-stories-hattie-aka-the-mature-babe/. The fact of the matter is there are sugar daddies with a huge variety of preferences. Yes, many of them are looking for younger sugar babies but definitely not all. There are enough sugar daddies out there who prefer more mature women or who don’t see age as important as other qualities. Don’t let your age hold you back! Focus on your strengths and your unique advantages, you’ll find someone who appreciates them 🙂

  10. Hey so i joined the sugar daddy web site and in talking to this guy and we are meeting tomorrow I told him I wanted a bbl that’s the reason I joined the page can I ask more then that he didn’t put how much he makes in his profile he said that was very interesting cause nobody has ever ask him for that does that mean like a yes

    • Hi Abi, I’m guessing by “BBL,” you’re referring to the Brazilian Butt Lift? If so, it’s not totally uncommon for sugar babies to ask for elective surgery – or even non-sugar babies. There’s even a site for men to donate to women who want breast implants. You could ask for more than that, i.e. get a traditional sugar daddy and then ask for the BBL as a gift.
      As for whether that particular POT is interested in paying for the surgery, the only thing that means a “yes” is when he actually pays for it. As always, we recommend talking to as many POTs as possible and pursuing all your options until you get what you want.

  11. Hi am a single mommy looking for a gentlemen sugar daddy to help me with my rent n bills asap i work a part time job which is not enough plz help me am shy but i will promise to show you a good time spent

  12. Hello my name is Mary & I would like to try this out I need help on my finances plus more & I’m willing to give wen I can I wrk my ass off but nothing to show its hard when ur serving & only bringing home just Lil so what should I do to get a sugar daddy plus I am in a relationship but I don’t want him to know just want everything to be taken care on my end let me know thxs

  13. I met someone who doesn’t live in my country, we have a couple days chatting on whatsapp he asked me for my skype to video chat.
    He said he is going to visit me and my country in a couple days we are flirting and things like that… he asked me what I want, a true relationship or money for casual sex thing.

    I said that I would like a relationship with him but I need the money too, but he replied that I can not have a relationship like that. What can I do, I want him but I also need finacial help

  14. I can afford a Mercedes, but I choose to drive a VW — and I did not pay the Mercedes price for it. Not every girl is worth 20% of my income, and no girl will get 20% of my income. Admittedly, that means I won’t have a Kim Kardashian on my arm (of course, she probably could command more than my entire income….).

    A girl’s worth is based on more than the man’s income. It’s based in large part on HER, and also on how much he wants it. For every girl who smiles and says “20% of your income” there are many who will giggle and swoon for 10%. The SD gets to decide if the one who wants 20% is worth double the price.

  15. Thank you!
    this is some very good advice I’ve meeting a man after five months of just casual dating and really getting to know and enjoying each others company. we’re now getting to the point of serious convo and to a firm agreement as far as allowances are concerned. I’m a little nervous about my range and just talking about it at all but after reading your article, I know I made my point to show my genuine sincerity and priceless worth,I now feel confident going into our next conversation equiped with the tips and tools I need and what I should expect for myself.

  16. Hello!

    I am a very outgoing, open-minded girl and I have a great sense of humor!

    I do however have a sassy side… but lets hope it’s not too much for you to handle. 😉

    I live on my own and have bills to pay and pets to feed, life is a struggle for me but with all of these generous and big-hearted men on here, I know I can find somebody willing to help out a girl in need.

    Someone who can keep a conversation. That is a must!

    I do not go out much so I am really looking for a man who is down to just have a conversation. However, sex is NOT an option and it is NOT negotiable.

    If you are willing to chat and see where things lead, then you know what to do! x

  17. Total self delusion@ 60K right off the bat ,assuming a long term arrangement is desired.The role of a SB is to ask for and receive a realistic “starting salary ” -not some pie in the sky number that will turn most of the real and decent SD’s OFF.

  18. I am looking for someone to talk to. I am 40 so a little older than that. I do however have children so that might be a problem.

  19. Hello :-),

    I desperately need advice; please HELP 😉

    JSB contacted me end of december by email saying he wanted a SD/SB relationship with me. I agreed to meet him.

    1st meeting – we had tea at my appartment – he said about giving me an allowance; such an amount at first and it would go up after 3 months, 6 months, etc… I did NOT had sex with him although he wanted to.

    2nd meeting, I invite FSB for brunch. We had sex and everything went perfectly – yet, no flowers, no wine and no discussion about $$$$

    3rd date, again at my place, I prepare little food. Again, we had sex and everything went fine – yet, no flowers, no wine and no discussion about $$$$

    On Valentyne day he send me a e-card. He is really nice looking, I dont have the feeling he’s a bad man!?

    He wants to visit me tonight! I would love it… but I want the $$$ discussion… actually, the $$$.

    What do I do, what do I say? How to I bring up the topic?

    Thank you in advance for you help,

    Bisous xoxoxo

    • Hi Lola, we always, always advise SBs to not have sex – or do anything that’s too relationship-y – before starting an arrangement. That means already having talked about the allowance (at least by the second date), worked out an allowance/situation you’re both comfortable with, allowance receiving options, etc. Right now, you’re already acting like his SB although he’s done nothing to warrant being your SD. It’s not about whether he’s a good man or a bad man – it’s about whether he’s able to fulfill what you want and it sounds like he’s not doing that. At this point, you’ll have to broach the allowance topic with him and be ready to move on to other POTs if it doesn’t pan out. Good luck!

      • That was brilliantly stated!
        Mazel Tov!! And I mean the “very nice job!” kind of Mazel Tov, not the “good luck!” kind. Ha!

        Seriously though, I really enjoyed reading your comment!

  20. Hi,
    I am deaf gal. I want to go back to college and university for mathematics. I been struggling with ssdi office. Not enough. Need savings for better place to live in.

    I love to comfort cuddle, do fun stuffs. Etc. I am shy person and I will warm up also I amean laid back..

    If u have any questions or concerns about me. Feel free asking me. Smiles!


  22. I been on the site but have had so much bad luck with men on the website they just ended up being scammers.
    Now it has been a few yrs sense I last was on a website and got in contact with a man but of course he is abroad and he talks about the financial how do I know they are for real is there away to know they are scammers or do I have to wait until the ball drop.
    And what personal info do I absolutely have to give out to get the financial assistance when they ask?

  23. I have had a sugar daddy for a year and a half now. There has been no sex involved but he is starting to pressure. My dilemma is I am interested in someone else closer to my age in a normal relationship. Does anyone else juggle multiple relationships? Do you tell the man you have feelings for about the arrangement?

  24. Hey! My SD and I have been seein each other for almost a year now and I have been saving majority of the allowance money I have earned. I am now wanting to put a down payment on a condo but wondering how I would go about trying to get a mortgage. My sd is giving me the allowance through PayPal each week.

  25. So let’s talk money,
    I’m recently on what’s your price and was wondering the best Time to get paid for a date? Would you ask of your POT to send the money before you meet for the date on whilst you’re on? I mean, asking him before hand could be misconstrued as dodgey but you don’t want to meet a POT who has offered a price only to not pay up at the end.


  26. Hey question…. about the profile… I read all the articles and (can’t remember which one but) one mentioned to always keep looking/hunting for the right one. So my question is about the profile. I am a SB and my profile is straight up but light hearted. I read another SB profile just to see what they are writing and she wrote all kinds of emotional qualities she has and is looking for her pic was provocative and her words made her seem sweet and loving etc…. I know a lot of these profiles are fake (on both sides), but what exactly is the “right thing” to say in short that conveys the right message? I mean are there “magic words” that will articulate the fact that I need the allowance w/o the BS??

  27. As an aspiring sugar baby in Texas, figuring out what I want for a monthly allowance is a little difficult and time consuming. Something I’ve found that really helps is taking two separate tests on the Texas Reality Check: one with a slightly ideal/slightly more luxurious lifestyle than what you need and one with a lifestyle that fits your needs perfectly with a tiny bit of wiggle room. The Texas Reality Check will tell you monthly expenses and then factor in annual taxes and tell you the salary you need. I find that this is a big help in not only saving and budgeting money but also how big your allowance needs to be if you expect to live off a sugar daddy alone for at least a year. It’s not perfect but it gives a general idea of how expensive it is just to live in your area.

  28. I meet a sugar daddy online and the first time we meet he gave me a $50.00 gift cand. But since then all I have received is 2 pairs of panties. We basicly meet once a week and I really do massage his leg. I have done almost all he has asked so why Im I not getting an bigger gift that the panties. I told him to start with I need a car and he said ok but how long or should I wait for something.. I dont know what to do… Some one have any advice?

  29. I’ve had 3 sugar relationships in the past. In my first one, I chose someone who I had mediocre chemistry with who was struggling financially. It was a mistake, but one I quickly got out of. The allowance there was $400 per meet….though since the chemistry wasn’t strong I wasn’t exactly clamoring to meet her and it eventually faded.

    With the 2nd I had very strong chemistry with. I’m 40 and she was 30 so the age difference wasn’t huge and she also had a job and a stable income. Ultimately with her, there wasn’t even an allowance and it was really more like a regular relationship…though I essentially just paid for all our fun activities like concerts, dinners, vacations, and also for her to get her hair and nails done and for her yoga classes. We talked about it being a more serious relationship even, but it ended when I had to move.

    The last one was with someone who was 20 years younger. The chemistry was good and the allowance was $3500 a month.

    I’m still friends with the 2nd SB, and she still will say she misses me and that even though she’s had SD’s give her more money…she enjoyed our SD-SB relationship the most. Ultimately the range a SB can most likely expect is from a 1000 to 5000. Very few will go higher, even if they can afford to. I make over 400K a year with a net worth in the millions, but I have my own investment and financial goals too and wouldn’t give out more than 4000. But it’s not just about the money for both parties. Both SD and SB should focus on selecting someone they truly enjoy and like and let the financial element work itself out.

  30. Hi! Loved this article. I am actually a sugar baby and my sugar daddy is the founder of Pornhub… yeah pretty crazy right.. So knowing my SD is financially okay to take care of me he still makes it so awkward to talk about money and he’s so emotional (believe it or not lol). But reading this made me remember I AM PRICELESS. Always, always speak up for what you think is right and so far it’s gotten me really far along with my SD. You have to also remember it’s not all about the money that’s handed to you…. I’ve met so many great connections being with my sugar daddy and you also can’t put a price on that!! I wish every little pretty sugar baby the best in their journey for life!

  31. Good tips & basics for the beginning sugar baby’s like myself. Are their tips on how to talk long distance & get gifts etc for your time?? It would be an awesome tip for the circumstance of that.
    Thanks much,

  32. OMG. What a sugar-coated article. I wish someone would get real and call SBs what they are – they are a different genre of prostitutes. It’s true. Saying otherwise is avoiding the truth.

  33. My POT just ask me what my expectation from the arrangement and i reply i want SD who can help me build better life for myself & my kids, give me allowance $2500 per month and loves spoils me..then he tell me that the arrangement seems to be very lopsided to my advantage only btw he didn’t tell me what his expectation at all..so what can i must tell him?

    • I am new to this too, hopped on seekingarrangements.com. If they are just going to sit there and say it is one sided, politely say goodbye and move on. Too may fish in the sea. I have asked each one what they were expecting and even told one this morning that we may be looking for different things. I have kids myself am and not going to travel around to strangers when I have things to do. Now if I knew my soon to be SD for a while and trusted him I may start taking trips, but you know.

    • If he is coming at you like that, he is more than likely suffering from some financial strain. In other words, he can’t really afford the arrangement and wants to guilt you into taking less. Don’t. Cut him off.

  34. I met with a guy I met on seeking arrangement, we’ve been on one date and he wants another. We didn’t discuss allowance before as I’m very new to being a sugar baby. How should I bring it up???

  35. Un-realistic –

    If there is a genuine connection, care and concern (both one for another) in the SD/SB relationship then yes, the SB would be considered ‘priceless’ to the SD. With that same token, the SD would be considered invaluable to the SB as well. In other words, the SD will not just be viewed as an ATM and the SB will not be viewed as little more than a deposit box of various sorts. Time passed to demonstrate life’s stresses and how one helps the other in those situations can be the proving points which first show the other POT their value to one another. In this what is born is what I refer to as a genuine affection. With certain details of one another’s lives, resources, hopes and dreams having been exposed, the working with one another through time to achieve those things is what will reap the highest rewards for both the SB and SD. Money is no longer an object, but a tool to make things happen. Taking time and giving attention and affection is no longer an obligation, but an eager giving to help make those same things happen. – Men and women both aren’t all stupid. If you happen to stumble across a guy wanting to be a true SD, any games quickly become realized and all that is achieved is a cutting of oneself short. A never ending search for the next, basically only changing the title of the oldest profession in the world to that of being a SB. I shouldn’t have to be here teaching you SB’s how to ‘play’ your SD. But if you’re playing a game then you get what you get. Take the player out of it and think about what you can do to make him feel special. What can you do to make it so that he is truly better with you in his life? How can you be so helpful that all of a sudden one day he is of the thought that your givings in his life are so valuable that there is no limit to what he would do for you? If you think it’s just in the bedroom… maybe an escort service is more suitable for what you really are. – Again though, unless the connection, admiration and respect for one another is truly there, it’s not so easy to do I understand that as well. If you fake it he will know. If you’re not so eager to hunt for a paycheck in this fashion like an escort, then you can be patient and hopefully find a true SD/SB relationship that makes you both happy in all aspects.

    • This. The goal is to get a sucker to fall for your charm. You don’t go around begging. Setting a price makes you a prostitute. Period.

  36. Hi ladies and gents,

    So I am all the way in Montreal and I am realizing the game here is sooo different.

    Its odd I’ve been going on dates with men and they have been going very well, but when we discuss the arrangement a few of them seem confused. Like, recently I went on a date and he said that he did not want an arrangement with me, but he saw me as a potential girlfriend. What am I supposed to do with that? This has happened a few times.

    How am I supposed to ask for the allowance? I find my dating life on seeking arrangements is complicated.

  37. How does a sugar daddy pay you your allowance? One asked for my bank account or cc info this can’t be right. How do you ladies get paid? And how do I know if they are scammers

  38. What if you’re really going through a rough patch in life that you can’t put your best on because you’re broke as hell! No man will give you a second look, but they just don’t know they’re missing out, because girlfriend definitely possess some skills to keep a man crazy happy, but right now I’m not financially stable to put on my best. It’s a long story but I lost everything, I’m starting from scratch…whats a girl to do?!!

  39. When setting an allowance, should I start low and try to increase it as the arrangement continues? Or is it okay to ask for a higher or lower allowance each month? I need help paying for school and buying a car but my tuition changes every semester and I have no idea how much my car payments and insurance will be.

  40. Hey I’m ambree I really need a one on one talk person text with a real successful experience sugar baby . I keep & keep getting scammed & i need to know what to do diffrently .

  41. Hello, my name is Faith. I have been on Seeking Arrangements for about a month now. I have a potential sugar daddy. We haven’t even met each other yet. We text every day. He has offered to take me on a trip to Las vegas, to go shopping while in vegas. To buy me a phone but hasn’t mentioned any allowance. How do I go about talking to him about a monthly allowance.

  42. I’ve had a sugardaddy for a while now, he used to pay me everytime we met up. A month ago, I asked if I could just have a monthly allowance which was less than what he had been giving me but it made paying rent a lot easier to get a lump sum at the start of the month. It turns out it really isn’t enough for me to live on and with all my bills I’ve ended up in tons of debt. I’ve told him about this and explained I need financial help not shopping trips and expensive gifts,but he hasnt understood yet and I’m scared to ask him for more money next month in case he just gets annoyed and doesn’t want to be my SugarDaddy anymore. Do you have any advice on asking to change our arrangement or to be given a bit extra money?

  43. Im not on a website. First time sugar baby.. sugar daddy made the arrangement of allowance i accepted it.. he said he give certain amount today.(which was 2 days ago).. then he said he give mw MORE friday i accepted .. i confronted him tonight about the allowance and what he said to me.. not afraid to get down to the money.. now he wants an exhange but thats not what wr discussed now i have to work for it…? He seems very well educated business man . I dont feel any uneasy feeling with him.. but what am i supose to do? Cuz now i feel its more of what i do forhim. That doesnt tell me im going to get what we discussed.. i told him he needs to be upfront with me.. and i again told him what he proposed.. and now thats not it.. but i dknt want to lose his k interest in me if i keep badgering him. Bit yet i feel like i shouldnt have to work for it then be determined.. this a bdsm arrangement.. i say that because i feel like it plays a role in what i get. But i need some guidence so i dont get nithing out of this but epic fail.. new to this so guidence will be good.lol

  44. Great advice! I’m learning I’m pretty new to this. I’m just looking for a sugar daddy for a little cushion so I don’t have to work so hard..oh and to fund my vacations I recently started traveling abroad and don’t want to stop next stop Punta Cana..oh and I love a bit of affection really.

  45. I am a first time sugar baby. Today i recieved a message asking what type of allowace i am seeking. I didn’t reply back as i don’t know what to say. I need the money big time. Yes i work but due to a illness i got set back with my work hours and am falling behind big time. What should i reply back to a question like that??

  46. Yah however I asked my POT after I had spent 2 full nights with him if he could help me with a car payment. His response was he would of rather brought it up before I did and was going to discuss it with me upon next meet…did I just make number 1 mistake…he said he would call and hasnt.

    • Well if your main reason of sugaring was to get help to pay a car, the number 1 mistake was the fact that you spent two full nights with him first before getting what you wanted. Hopefully he calls. Best luck to you dear.

  47. I would like fo find a genuine and generous SD,that would like to start an a special arrangement. . . More than arrangement.

  48. Hey. My SD and I are in a strict online thing. How do I get him to give me money. No meet ups all online over Vidchat/Pics/Etc what should i ask for an everything

  49. Hi I just started being a sugar baby about a week ago and I have clue how to talk to them. Bc I’m so young (I’m 18) I just feel like they’re taking advantage of me and I’m possibly losing money. Also I have no clue how to price my prices. For instance what’s the average cost of a nude (if that’s even a thing), video chatting, sex etc. I’m so lost.

  50. Hi
    I’m new to this, but would love to join any of this site for surgery, a guy to pay surgery for me and also my job is all around the world, will it’s be easy?

  51. I need a sugar momma I’m having issues with being alone and my car isn’t in the best shape 😭 someone please help me not be lonely and help me buy a new car not brand new but newer one that acctually works

    Thanks love!

  52. Hello I am a black African woman looking for a white male they’re like to share travel dancing walking talking that much more

  53. Hey I want a sugar daddy..someone who can take good care of me ..pay for my bills,rent,collegfees but all i get are scammers ..please help ..😪

  54. Hello please I’m interested in having a potential sugar daddy, i need one who can take care of my needs. I’m an easy going person. Thanks

  55. Hello! I’m a new sugar baby and I need help with this situation. He asked me for an account number and routing number, red flag. But he keeps talking about how he want me to just be his sugar baby. So I was like why do you need my account number and all that stuff when in reality all you need to send me money is an email. And he was like oh it’s cause I have a fixed deposit payroll account idk what that is. But anyways I was like here’s my cash app code send me money on their and he wants me to get a cash app card so I get a account number and routing number from their and it’s in no way connected to my actual bank account but they send a card but is that a good idea?


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