Sugar daddies and STDs. It’s a topic nobody really wants to discuss. But we must. Because safe sex for sugar babies is an absolute essential. And we need to insist on it.
Sugar babies are meant to be sweet. And why wouldn’t we be? Sweetness works. As the saying goes, “you catch more flies sugar daddies with honey than vinegar.”
But sometimes we take our sweetness too far. Eager to keep our sugar daddy happy or get more benefits out of an arrangement, we choose to be accommodating and sweet when we should be saying a firm ‘no.’ We sugar coat the truth of what’s acceptable for us – and what’s absolutely not.
And in the process, we fail to stand up for ourselves and ultimately end up jeopardizing our healthy and safety.
One of the biggest areas that many sugar babies have put sweetness over safety is sex. Here’s one brave sugar baby’s story of what happened to her when she let her boundaries slip – and the lessons that she hopes other sugar babies take away from her experience.
Never Trust the “Trust Me”
I will never forget the first time a sugar daddy asked me if I was on the pill. At that moment I knew he was not into condoms. “Listen, besides my wife, you’re my only sexual partner right now, trust me, I’m clean.”
Even if you are on the pill, getting pregnant is not the only concern that comes with having unprotected sex. The other major, glaring concern? Yes, sexually transmitted diseases.
STDs are really serious and unfortunately we can’t believe in everything men say or promise. I learned this the hard way – I caught one. From a sugar daddy.
STDs Can Happen to Anyone
HPV is the most common STD and there are many different types. Some can cause cancer and others are “low risk”. The scary thing about HPV is its silent attribute – as in, it can be entirely symptomless. So some people show symptoms whereas others remain symptomless and clueless that they may have HPV.
In my case, there were symptoms. I got genital warts inside my vagina. I needed a laser procedure to get rid of them. I was depressed for a lot of reasons, feeling guilty or responsible was one of them.
I missed my health and who I was before all this happened.
According to Planned Parenthood, “You get genital warts from having skin-to-skin contact with someone who’s infected, often during vaginal, anal and oral sex. Genital warts can be spread even if no one cums, and a penis doesn’t have to go inside a vagina or anus to get them.”
Scary, huh? Condoms can’t stop the infection. But they can help you to be safe.
Even if you both are exclusive, it’s important to take care of yourself. Please, remember, do not put your life at risk. No gift, apartment, trips or monthly allowance are worth it. Nothing compares to being healthy.
You don’t want to live a life of worry or pain, you don’t need that. You really don’t want or have to be in my situation. Hope my advice helps you to be aware of your sexual health.
5 Rules for Safe Sex as a Sugar Baby
Even in a vanilla relationship, it’s a good idea to discuss things like birth control and recent STD tests before going to bed with a new partner.
The sugar world is really no different. Here are 5 things you should really consider before getting in the sack with your sugar daddy.
#1. Have “The Talk”
Share your concerns or worries about sex. It’s fair and better to clear the air from the beginning. If he does not understand you…NEXT.
He’s not the only sugar daddy in the world and definitely not the only one to set conditions to the arrangement. You need to feel comfortable and safe.
Oh, and don’t get fooled. He could insist on having condom-less sex the first night, so it’s up to you to say NO. Don’t compromise yourself for the good of the arrangement. Remember: you’re a crucial component of that arrangement. You deserve to have your interests and health protected.
#2. Get a vaccine
HVP vaccines are not a guarantee but they reduce the chances to get at least some types. So it’s a no brainer to get these!
According to the CDC, infections with HPV types that cause most HPV cancers and genital warts have dropped. So yes, they work and are safe. If you’re already vaccinated, congrats! So proud of you, girl. 🙂
#3. Always – ALWAYS- use protection
No matter what kind of sex you’re having (oral, vaginal, anal), as I wrote before, condoms are a must. Be strong! Stand up for your health. No sugar daddy has the right to convince you otherwise. And no sugar daddy who actually care about his sugar baby will put you in such a compromising position.
Read: Sugar Daddy Doesn’t Want to Use a Condom? Here’s What to Do
When you practice safe sex, there are no regrets. It changes everything for the best. I don’t have to tell you that sex is a great thing, don’t ruin it. Do it for your own peace of mind.
#4. Ask him to get tested (with you)
For the good of both of you, get tested. Together, if you want. Of course this comes with a stronger commitment because he could get an STD later if involved with another person.
That’s why keeping it safe with the above boundaries – condoms! – is very important, but this way, from the get go, you’ll both know where you stand. By the way, blood tests are used for detecting most of STDs but HPV requires to take a different sample.
#5. Ask him for health insurance
If you never thought about getting one, then now is the time to discuss it. At least in Latin America it is quite expensive. You never know what’s going to happen the next day.
Before asking for the ultimate it-bag, think about being covered if you’re involved in an accident or an illness appear. Because I didn’t have health insurance, all of my savings went to the laser surgery. It was a lot. Don’t make that mistake.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Margo, aka The Old Sugar Baby. You can check out her sugar baby story here!
Um…Is it possible to sugar-date but NOT have sex? I feel like dirty and guilty just thinking of the sex part of sugaring…
I am not a sugar baby but I do a lot of research on this lifestyle and you can absolutely have a SD and no sex. Being upfront and honest about what you want from the beginning will keep you from wasting your time with SDs that don’t want the same things as you! Let them know upfront that you are not interested in a sexually intimate relationship. Although the majority do, not every SD wants a sexual relationship. Offer more PG types of intimacy if you’re comfortable with things like hand holding,walking arm in arm, slow dancing, kisses on the cheek, even appropriate cuddling!
Why would someone want a sugar baby without sex?
In that case I will say ok baby, you get your sugar daddy without money. Hope you see the point.
Thank you!!1
Hahaha exactly…why would anybody take a liability of providing u with allowances just like that…the first time I met my SD he was straight up that he purely wanted this relation for sex n nth else