Let’s Talk Money: How to Discuss Allowance With Your Sugar Daddy

There comes a moment in every sugar relationship that most sugar babies quietly dread: the discussion of allowance.

Most sugar babies worry about everything from coming off too greedy and scaring off the potential sugar daddy to how much she can reasonably expect given her looks, age, personality, etc.

If the thought of asking a potential sugar daddy for money terrifies you – don’t worry, you’re not alone. And – it’s totally natural. Most of us simply aren’t used to asking for money and don’t have the first clue on how to go about it gracefully.

But practice – and a few tips – makes perfect. Follow the tips below, practice them and you’ll be breezing through the allowance talk in no time!

Tip #1. First and Foremost: Get This One Thing Straight

So many sugar babies fall into the trap of trying to determine how much allowance they’re worth. They assess their looks, compare it with the competition, and start nit-picking their every quality for its monetary equivalent.

We say: Don’t even go there.

This allowance thing is NOT about how much you are worth. YOU are priceless. There is no way to set a monetary value on yourself and your qualities so don’t even try.

The allowance thing IS about asking for what you need and want, in proportion to the time and attention you can give to your sugar daddy. Most likely, a monthly allowance will depend on several factors, such as how much you need to live comfortably, what extra material comforts you’d like, how much you’d like to save, how much time you plan on spending with your sugar daddy, other expenses that will come up in your sugar relationship, etc.

Spend your time figuring out the monetary range of what your needs and wants amount to rather than trying to assess how much you’re worth.

Tip #2. Set Your Number Range

There is no right or wrong amount of allowance as every sugar relationship depends on the needs and wants of the two individuals involved. So the allowance will vary depending on each sugar relationship.

A good place to start is to calculate your normal living costs like rent, bills, food, and tuition and then to double it. Or go over all your monthly expenses and then add to it what you’ll need for extra luxuries and pleasures.

Determine this number range independent of any potential sugar daddy. And remember – be honest with yourself as to how much it would take to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled as a sugar baby.

Tip #3. Get Comfortable Asking for What You Want

You have a set allowance range now. Now the key is to get comfortable with it.

You see, the reason why discussing allowance is such an uncomfortable topic is that most people haven’t had much practice in asking for money. And at first, asking a potential sugar daddy for several thousands of dollars per month is going to feel kind of awkward.

Try it right now – speak your amount out loud to yourself. Do you feel a tinge of discomfort? Any inner resistance cropping up? Any little voices in your head that say, “That’s too much.

If you do – you’re going to need this exercise. Repeat it ’til you’re so comfortable with your number range, it seems guaranteed.

Tip #4. Forget Ladies First

You might be more accustomed to asking for money now, but if you still feel nervous when discussing allowance with a potential sugar daddy, ask him for his range first.

The easiest way to do this is to ask if he’s had previous arrangements. Ask how the relationships were and then casually ask what their allowance had been. That’ll give you an idea of his range without directly asking. If he hasn’t had previous arrangements and he asks you for your number first, say something like, “It depends. Let’s determine the arrangement details first.”

People tend to be more inclined to answer an uncomfortable question after being asked a range of more comfortable questions first, so start out by asking him, “How often do you want to meet?” and other details of the arrangement. After a series of these questions, slip in a question of what allowance range he would be comfortable with considering the details.

Tip #5. Confidence is Key

Here’s something that many sugar babies forget about men: They don’t usually bargain hunt.

So when discussing allowance, go in with the expectation that he will give you what you ask for. This way, when he asks you for your ideal allowance, you can respond simply and matter-of-factly that you’re “thinking $x,xxx.” Keep a smile on your face and say what you want as naturally as you would tell him what you plan on ordering for dinner.

Be honest with what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it.

Tip #6. K.I.S.S.

At the same time, do NOT feel like you need to justify the amount you’re asking for. Talking about your debt, your bills, etc. is so, entirely unnecessary.

Even if he asks, remember that you don’t need to tabulate your expenses for him. Be blunt, be matter-of-fact and stick to something simple, such as high cost of living or your desire to save. You don’t even need to really justify this, just laugh it off with a “Well, a girl’s gotta save, yea?”

Tip #7. Let an Online Medium Do the Work

One of our favorite sugar daddy websites lists the allowance amount directly on the profile. This makes it incredibly easy in handling one of the most awkward aspects of sugar dating – money stuff. Seeking Arrangement removes this annoyance by allowing sugar daddies and sugar babies to state the allowance they want to give or receive. Here’s how to set your Allowance Expectation on SA!

This way, you know from the get go that the person contacting you is comfortable with the allowance you stated and that the person you’re contacting has an allowance range that suits what you’re looking for.

Remember that all the tips in the world won’t do much good if you don’t put them to use. So get out there and get used to asking for – and getting – what you want!

75 thoughts on “Let’s Talk Money: How to Discuss Allowance With Your Sugar Daddy”

  1. I don’t have a web site. I am a woman who is super cute, sexy I am told :-). I am just tired of working my body to the bone and not having anything to show for it. I don’t have family here where I live. A girl needs to save rite? I am interested in a man who is sexy and forth rite. I am kinkey if you know what I mean… I am 5’1, 125 lbs, green eyes, blond hair, medium length, size c pierced tits and white.I am just drained, Doing this thing we call life all alone, has got me wanting more. I need good sex and an allowance so I can, join a gym and make all off your desires and mine a reality. I want to buy lingerie and shoes and beautiful clothes. I want to pay my bills and take care of my pets too. I have Chihuahuas and cats. I love to travel and if you can take care of me I will sooo take care of you… in any way you like as I know you will do for me. I have NEVER posted anything like this before, but as I stated, I am tired of doing life alone, let me make you happy and in return…. the sky is the limit.

  2. Let me just say, bravo! I can’t but your book down. It has been extremely helpful and I am taking notes to the T. You are very thorough and I firmly believe when I am finished with my research, your tips will put me on top in the profile game as well as on making a suger daddy FEEL. I am paying attention.
    Thank you so much for writing this. It would have taken me months of trial and error to figure this valuable insights out.

  3. I am new to this and I signed up on suggardaddie.com. I want to know if you have any tips on how to make my profile stand out? Should I be blunt and up front? Also I am really shy and I’m surprised I’m writing this now but I do want to find someone I can spend time with and have spoil me. But I do have two kids. Do you think that matters? Please help me.

  4. Wish I had a sugar daddy to spoil me n make me comfortable tired of bs men love to just chill n spend n travel lol hope that’s not to much n maybe love never know

  5. I have a question Caitlin.

    Approximately 2 weeks ago a met a businessmen at an exhibition. He has plans on taking me with him on businesstrips abroad etc. We have talked about our relationship being solely for pleasure and fun as he has a family back home. However, we never talked about money or the status of our relationship. Now, I do not want him to assume that I will go on trips within and spend weekends with him without getting anything in return. As we have not met on an actual site I am not sure how to make this clear. Could you please help me with this???

    I hope to here from you ASAP.

    • Hi Victoria, we started writing a quick response to this and it quickly turned into a post. You can check it out here: sugardating101.com/qa-how-to-talk-money-with-a-sugar-daddy-you-met-in-real-life/
      Hope that helps and keep us posted on what happened!


  6. Is 40 too old to be considered for a Sugar Baby relationship?
    I look much younger and prefer older men anyway. Should I even bother trying a sugar site?

    • Hi Sarah, not at all. There are sugar babies well into their 50s, check out Hattie’s real sugar baby story if you want to know of just one example: https://sugardating101.com/sugar-baby-stories-hattie-aka-the-mature-babe/. The fact of the matter is there are sugar daddies with a huge variety of preferences. Yes, many of them are looking for younger sugar babies but definitely not all. There are enough sugar daddies out there who prefer more mature women or who don’t see age as important as other qualities. Don’t let your age hold you back! Focus on your strengths and your unique advantages, you’ll find someone who appreciates them 🙂

  7. Hey so i joined the sugar daddy web site and in talking to this guy and we are meeting tomorrow I told him I wanted a bbl that’s the reason I joined the page can I ask more then that he didn’t put how much he makes in his profile he said that was very interesting cause nobody has ever ask him for that does that mean like a yes

    • Hi Abi, I’m guessing by “BBL,” you’re referring to the Brazilian Butt Lift? If so, it’s not totally uncommon for sugar babies to ask for elective surgery – or even non-sugar babies. There’s even a site for men to donate to women who want breast implants. You could ask for more than that, i.e. get a traditional sugar daddy and then ask for the BBL as a gift.
      As for whether that particular POT is interested in paying for the surgery, the only thing that means a “yes” is when he actually pays for it. As always, we recommend talking to as many POTs as possible and pursuing all your options until you get what you want.

  8. Hi am a single mommy looking for a gentlemen sugar daddy to help me with my rent n bills asap i work a part time job which is not enough plz help me am shy but i will promise to show you a good time spent

  9. Hello my name is Mary & I would like to try this out I need help on my finances plus more & I’m willing to give wen I can I wrk my ass off but nothing to show its hard when ur serving & only bringing home just Lil so what should I do to get a sugar daddy plus I am in a relationship but I don’t want him to know just want everything to be taken care on my end let me know thxs

  10. I met someone who doesn’t live in my country, we have a couple days chatting on whatsapp he asked me for my skype to video chat.
    He said he is going to visit me and my country in a couple days we are flirting and things like that… he asked me what I want, a true relationship or money for casual sex thing.

    I said that I would like a relationship with him but I need the money too, but he replied that I can not have a relationship like that. What can I do, I want him but I also need finacial help

  11. Thank you!
    this is some very good advice I’ve meeting a man after five months of just casual dating and really getting to know and enjoying each others company. we’re now getting to the point of serious convo and to a firm agreement as far as allowances are concerned. I’m a little nervous about my range and just talking about it at all but after reading your article, I know I made my point to show my genuine sincerity and priceless worth,I now feel confident going into our next conversation equiped with the tips and tools I need and what I should expect for myself.

  12. Hello!

    I am a very outgoing, open-minded girl and I have a great sense of humor!

    I do however have a sassy side… but lets hope it’s not too much for you to handle. 😉

    I live on my own and have bills to pay and pets to feed, life is a struggle for me but with all of these generous and big-hearted men on here, I know I can find somebody willing to help out a girl in need.

    Someone who can keep a conversation. That is a must!

    I do not go out much so I am really looking for a man who is down to just have a conversation. However, sex is NOT an option and it is NOT negotiable.

    If you are willing to chat and see where things lead, then you know what to do! x

  13. Hi,
    I am deaf gal. I want to go back to college and university for mathematics. I been struggling with ssdi office. Not enough. Need savings for better place to live in.

    I love to comfort cuddle, do fun stuffs. Etc. I am shy person and I will warm up also I amean laid back..

    If u have any questions or concerns about me. Feel free asking me. Smiles!


  15. I been on the site but have had so much bad luck with men on the website they just ended up being scammers.
    Now it has been a few yrs sense I last was on a website and got in contact with a man but of course he is abroad and he talks about the financial how do I know they are for real is there away to know they are scammers or do I have to wait until the ball drop.
    And what personal info do I absolutely have to give out to get the financial assistance when they ask?

  16. I have had a sugar daddy for a year and a half now. There has been no sex involved but he is starting to pressure. My dilemma is I am interested in someone else closer to my age in a normal relationship. Does anyone else juggle multiple relationships? Do you tell the man you have feelings for about the arrangement?

  17. So let’s talk money,
    I’m recently on what’s your price and was wondering the best Time to get paid for a date? Would you ask of your POT to send the money before you meet for the date on whilst you’re on? I mean, asking him before hand could be misconstrued as dodgey but you don’t want to meet a POT who has offered a price only to not pay up at the end.


  18. I meet a sugar daddy online and the first time we meet he gave me a $50.00 gift cand. But since then all I have received is 2 pairs of panties. We basicly meet once a week and I really do massage his leg. I have done almost all he has asked so why Im I not getting an bigger gift that the panties. I told him to start with I need a car and he said ok but how long or should I wait for something.. I dont know what to do… Some one have any advice?

  19. Good tips & basics for the beginning sugar baby’s like myself. Are their tips on how to talk long distance & get gifts etc for your time?? It would be an awesome tip for the circumstance of that.
    Thanks much,

  20. I met with a guy I met on seeking arrangement, we’ve been on one date and he wants another. We didn’t discuss allowance before as I’m very new to being a sugar baby. How should I bring it up???

  21. Hi ladies and gents,

    So I am all the way in Montreal and I am realizing the game here is sooo different.

    Its odd I’ve been going on dates with men and they have been going very well, but when we discuss the arrangement a few of them seem confused. Like, recently I went on a date and he said that he did not want an arrangement with me, but he saw me as a potential girlfriend. What am I supposed to do with that? This has happened a few times.

    How am I supposed to ask for the allowance? I find my dating life on seeking arrangements is complicated.

  22. How does a sugar daddy pay you your allowance? One asked for my bank account or cc info this can’t be right. How do you ladies get paid? And how do I know if they are scammers

  23. What if you’re really going through a rough patch in life that you can’t put your best on because you’re broke as hell! No man will give you a second look, but they just don’t know they’re missing out, because girlfriend definitely possess some skills to keep a man crazy happy, but right now I’m not financially stable to put on my best. It’s a long story but I lost everything, I’m starting from scratch…whats a girl to do?!!

  24. Hello, my name is Faith. I have been on Seeking Arrangements for about a month now. I have a potential sugar daddy. We haven’t even met each other yet. We text every day. He has offered to take me on a trip to Las vegas, to go shopping while in vegas. To buy me a phone but hasn’t mentioned any allowance. How do I go about talking to him about a monthly allowance.

  25. I’ve had a sugardaddy for a while now, he used to pay me everytime we met up. A month ago, I asked if I could just have a monthly allowance which was less than what he had been giving me but it made paying rent a lot easier to get a lump sum at the start of the month. It turns out it really isn’t enough for me to live on and with all my bills I’ve ended up in tons of debt. I’ve told him about this and explained I need financial help not shopping trips and expensive gifts,but he hasnt understood yet and I’m scared to ask him for more money next month in case he just gets annoyed and doesn’t want to be my SugarDaddy anymore. Do you have any advice on asking to change our arrangement or to be given a bit extra money?

  26. Im not on a website. First time sugar baby.. sugar daddy made the arrangement of allowance i accepted it.. he said he give certain amount today.(which was 2 days ago).. then he said he give mw MORE friday i accepted .. i confronted him tonight about the allowance and what he said to me.. not afraid to get down to the money.. now he wants an exhange but thats not what wr discussed now i have to work for it…? He seems very well educated business man . I dont feel any uneasy feeling with him.. but what am i supose to do? Cuz now i feel its more of what i do forhim. That doesnt tell me im going to get what we discussed.. i told him he needs to be upfront with me.. and i again told him what he proposed.. and now thats not it.. but i dknt want to lose his k interest in me if i keep badgering him. Bit yet i feel like i shouldnt have to work for it then be determined.. this a bdsm arrangement.. i say that because i feel like it plays a role in what i get. But i need some guidence so i dont get nithing out of this but epic fail.. new to this so guidence will be good.lol

  27. Great advice! I’m learning I’m pretty new to this. I’m just looking for a sugar daddy for a little cushion so I don’t have to work so hard..oh and to fund my vacations I recently started traveling abroad and don’t want to stop next stop Punta Cana..oh and I love a bit of affection really.

  28. I am a first time sugar baby. Today i recieved a message asking what type of allowace i am seeking. I didn’t reply back as i don’t know what to say. I need the money big time. Yes i work but due to a illness i got set back with my work hours and am falling behind big time. What should i reply back to a question like that??

  29. Yah however I asked my POT after I had spent 2 full nights with him if he could help me with a car payment. His response was he would of rather brought it up before I did and was going to discuss it with me upon next meet…did I just make number 1 mistake…he said he would call and hasnt.

    • Well if your main reason of sugaring was to get help to pay a car, the number 1 mistake was the fact that you spent two full nights with him first before getting what you wanted. Hopefully he calls. Best luck to you dear.

  30. Hey. My SD and I are in a strict online thing. How do I get him to give me money. No meet ups all online over Vidchat/Pics/Etc what should i ask for an everything

  31. Hi I just started being a sugar baby about a week ago and I have clue how to talk to them. Bc I’m so young (I’m 18) I just feel like they’re taking advantage of me and I’m possibly losing money. Also I have no clue how to price my prices. For instance what’s the average cost of a nude (if that’s even a thing), video chatting, sex etc. I’m so lost.

  32. Hi
    I’m new to this, but would love to join any of this site for surgery, a guy to pay surgery for me and also my job is all around the world, will it’s be easy?

  33. I need a sugar momma I’m having issues with being alone and my car isn’t in the best shape 😭 someone please help me not be lonely and help me buy a new car not brand new but newer one that acctually works

    Thanks love!

  34. Hello I am a black African woman looking for a white male they’re like to share travel dancing walking talking that much more

  35. Hey I want a sugar daddy..someone who can take good care of me ..pay for my bills,rent,collegfees but all i get are scammers ..please help ..😪

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  37. Hello please I’m interested in having a potential sugar daddy, i need one who can take care of my needs. I’m an easy going person. Thanks


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