There comes a moment in every sugar relationship that most sugar babies quietly dread: the discussion of allowance.
Most sugar babies worry about everything from coming off too greedy and scaring off the potential sugar daddy to how much she can reasonably expect given her looks, age, personality, etc.
If the thought of asking a potential sugar daddy for money terrifies you – don’t worry, you’re not alone. And – it’s totally natural. Most of us simply aren’t used to asking for money and don’t have the first clue on how to go about it gracefully.
But practice – and a few tips – makes perfect. Follow the tips below, practice them and you’ll be breezing through the allowance talk in no time!
So many sugar babies fall into the trap of trying to determine how much allowance they’re worth. They assess their looks, compare it with the competition, and start nit-picking their every quality for its monetary equivalent.
We say: Don’t even go there.
This allowance thing is NOT about how much you are worth. YOU are priceless. There is no way to set a monetary value on yourself and your qualities so don’t even try.
The allowance thing IS about asking for what you need and want, in proportion to the time and attention you can give to your sugar daddy. Most likely, a monthly allowance will depend on several factors, such as how much you need to live comfortably, what extra material comforts you’d like, how much you’d like to save, how much time you plan on spending with your sugar daddy, other expenses that will come up in your sugar relationship, etc.
Spend your time figuring out the monetary range of what your needs and wants amount to rather than trying to assess how much you’re worth.
There is no right or wrong amount of allowance as every sugar relationship depends on the needs and wants of the two individuals involved. So the allowance will vary depending on each sugar relationship.
A good place to start is to calculate your normal living costs like rent, bills, food, and tuition and then to double it. Or go over all your monthly expenses and then add to it what you’ll need for extra luxuries and pleasures.
Determine this number range independent of any potential sugar daddy. And remember – be honest with yourself as to how much it would take to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled as a sugar baby.
You have a set allowance range now. Now the key is to get comfortable with it.
You see, the reason why discussing allowance is such an uncomfortable topic is that most people haven’t had much practice in asking for money. And at first, asking a potential sugar daddy for several thousands of dollars per month is going to feel kind of awkward.
Try it right now – speak your amount out loud to yourself. Do you feel a tinge of discomfort? Any inner resistance cropping up? Any little voices in your head that say, “That’s too much.”
If you do – you’re going to need this exercise. Repeat it ’til you’re so comfortable with your number range, it seems guaranteed.
You might be more accustomed to asking for money now, but if you still feel nervous when discussing allowance with a potential sugar daddy, ask him for his range first.
The easiest way to do this is to ask if he’s had previous arrangements. Ask how the relationships were and then casually ask what their allowance had been. That’ll give you an idea of his range without directly asking. If he hasn’t had previous arrangements and he asks you for your number first, say something like, “It depends. Let’s determine the arrangement details first.”
People tend to be more inclined to answer an uncomfortable question after being asked a range of more comfortable questions first, so start out by asking him, “How often do you want to meet?” and other details of the arrangement. After a series of these questions, slip in a question of what allowance range he would be comfortable with considering the details.
Here’s something that many sugar babies forget about men: They don’t usually bargain hunt.
So when discussing allowance, go in with the expectation that he will give you what you ask for. This way, when he asks you for your ideal allowance, you can respond simply and matter-of-factly that you’re “thinking $x,xxx.” Keep a smile on your face and say what you want as naturally as you would tell him what you plan on ordering for dinner.
Be honest with what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it.
At the same time, do NOT feel like you need to justify the amount you’re asking for. Talking about your debt, your bills, etc. is so, entirely unnecessary.
Even if he asks, remember that you don’t need to tabulate your expenses for him. Be blunt, be matter-of-fact and stick to something simple, such as high cost of living or your desire to save. You don’t even need to really justify this, just laugh it off with a “Well, a girl’s gotta save, yea?”
One of our favorite sugar daddy websites lists the allowance amount directly on the profile. This makes it incredibly easy in handling one of the most awkward aspects of sugar dating – money stuff. Seeking Arrangement removes this annoyance by allowing sugar daddies and sugar babies to state the allowance they want to give or receive. Here’s how to set your Allowance Expectation on SA!
This way, you know from the get go that the person contacting you is comfortable with the allowance you stated and that the person you’re contacting has an allowance range that suits what you’re looking for.
Remember that all the tips in the world won’t do much good if you don’t put them to use. So get out there and get used to asking for – and getting – what you want!