How to Find a Gay Sugar Daddy

You’ve probably heard of sugar daddy dating multiple times over the past few years. But you probably haven’t heard of gay sugar daddy dating. Maybe one night – tonight – your curious fingers headed over to Google to see if there just might be a gay sugar daddy scene.

Guess what? There is…it just happens to be much more discreet than its heterosexual counterpart.

What is a Gay Sugar Daddy?

Well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. A gay sugar daddy is simply a sugar daddy who is gay. He’s wealthier, possibly older, but the main thing that makes him a sugar daddy is that he is ready and willing to provide financial benefits, such as:

• Cash allowance or PPM
• Bills paid
• Tuition paid
• Career connections
• Mentorship
• Gifts
• Travel

And, of course, sugar relationships are a two-way street. It’s got to be a win-win for both parties. So the sugar daddy is expecting benefits as well, such as:

• Companionship, usually discreet
• Physical intimacy
• Arm candy
• Efficiency, aka not having to work for dates
• A lot of extra TLC
• Dating a young, gay man who would typically be “out of his league”
• An intimate relationship without commitment, jealousy, or drama
• Making a difference in someone’s life

Overall, a gay sugar daddy is not much different from a straight sugar daddy.

A more interesting question is who is a gay sugar daddy. And this is something you need to be aware of before you dive into the world of gay sugar dating. Because there are some crucial differences…

How’s Gay Sugar Dating Different?

At its core, gay sugar dating isn’t much different from straight sugar relationships. You need rapport, trust, and some degree of attraction. Open communication is a must.

And you need to be on the same page about what you want from a SD/SB relationship.

So what’s different? These are the most crucial things you need to be aware of:

#1. Not All Sites are Gay Friendly

There are a lot of sugar daddy sites out there. But not all of them are gay-friendly. To complicate things further, the sites that specifically cater to gay members often don’t have the numbers to make membership worthwhile.

So when it comes to choosing a website, your options are a little more limited. That being said, the main two websites we recommend have a massive member base. So you’ll do better being on these two sites that signing up for a dozen gay-specific websites.

Here are the only two we recommend:

• Seeking. This website is all about dating up and it’s been around for decades, making it a pioneer in this space. It’s got over 46 million members around the globe and counting. This is the best shot of finding the wealthy, established man of your dreams.

• Secret Benefits. This website is a relative newcomer but it’s been the fastest-growing site for the last several years. It also boasts a massive member base, especially in the English-speaking countries. And the best part is that it’s completely free for sugar babies.

#2. It’s a Smaller Pool

This is no surprise. After all, gay men are a small subset of the overall population. And when it comes to gay sugar daddies, it’s an even smaller pool.

It’s not hard to see why – after all, it’s a lot easier for gay men to find a hook up than it is for straight men. For wealthy, established, reasonably attractive and openly out gay men, there are a lot of options for flings and casual sex. Which leaves little motivation to fuss with the rigamarole of sugar relationships.

That means there is going to be a much smaller pool of available sugar daddies for a young, gay sugar baby. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible – it just means that finding a gay sugar daddy is not going to be as easy as finding an attractive hookup on Grindr. It also means that you need to know exactly what you bring to the table and who your target market is. Speaking of…

#3. In the Closet

There’s a very good chance that the majority of the gay sugar daddies you’ll meet will be closeted and possibly, married. In fact, several years back, Seeking estimated that around half of the gay sugar daddies on their website were either bisexual or closeted men in heterosexual relationships.

That’s a large enough percentage to matter. So there’s a good chance that the gay sugar daddy you meet online is going to be married and hiding his sexuality from his family, his work and the world. It’s something you need to be aware of and make sure that you’re okay with it.

Why would a man want a gay sugar baby?

If you’re a rich, successful, older man – why would you pay for a gay sugar baby? What’s the catch? This is probably the most frequently asked question by newbie gay sugar babies.

But toss out those outdated ideas of old, pervy men who have to “pay for sex” because nobody wants to sleep with them. That myth is just not representative of the average gay sugar daddy.

Many of the sugar daddies you’ll find on sugar daddy sites may be:

• Closeted, married men who didn’t have the freedom or courage to come out earlier in life. They now want to explore but have a lot to lose and can’t risk any drama.

• Busy men who don’t have time for a genuine relationship but miss all the benefits that a relationship offers.

• A mentor seeking a protege. Many gay men didn’t have strong, supportive father figures and older, established gay sugar daddies may see themselves in younger sugar babies and want to mentor and take care of them in the way they wished they themselves had been.

• Men who want to be with someone far more attractive than they can normally attract without offering financial benefits.

And then there are the men who want relationships on their own terms. Basically, a guilt-free way to have their cake and eat it too by picking and choosing the parts of relationships that they like – intimacy, connection, awesome sex, fun times – without all the stuff they don’t like or are just not ready for – obligations, commitment.

By compensating a sugar baby, they don’t have to lie, pretend or mislead anyone about where the relationship is going.

Why Date a Gay Sugar Daddy?

Money. Duh. But actually, the benefits go beyond simple cold, hard cash.

It’s no secret that student loans are a source of massive financial stress for students and they go far beyond the years you spend in college – according to recent studies, it takes around 14 years on average to pay off student debt!

Dating a gay sugar daddy during your college years is a smart way to ensure you never take on that freedom-limiting debt to begin with.

And if you’re a young gay male – cute, smart, ambitious – a sugar relationship with a successful older gay sugar daddy offers much more than just financial benefits. Simply gaining access to the company and knowledge that prosperous, established older men can provide is a boon to your career prospects and professional development as well.

Not to mention, many young gay men do not have anything like a gay role model in their lives. It’s natural since the majority of young gay men don’t grow up with gay male fathers. Finding someone who can mentor you in the turbulent years of your twenties is possibly more beneficial than all the financial comforts the sugar dynamic provides.

Tips to Find a Gay Sugar Daddy

These are the absolute most important tips you need to know to find a gay sugar daddy. And not just any sugar daddy – one that you actually like and who can provide what you want.

#1. Know Your Own Goals

This might be funny coming from a fellow sugar baby, but I’m going to quote Kiyosaki here and say: “A man is not a financial plan.”

It’s important to know because a sugar baby life is not forever.

And sure, sugar dating is fun (and profitable, too) but it doesn’t come with job security or a pension. So unless you plan to be a sugar baby forever and always need a sugar daddy to depend on, you need to have an end game.

At the very least, figure out what are you becoming a sugar baby for? What do you want to get out of a sugar relationship? What are your expectations? What are your sugar baby goals?

It helps to make a list for yourself, then decide what items on that list are must-haves and which ones are nice-to-haves. That can help you structure your expectations so you can communicate them properly to potential daddies.

#2. What Do You Offer?

You know what you want. Money, gifts, trips, everyday luxuries. But what are you able to offer in order to get it?

Because sugar relationships are mutually beneficial ones. To get, you must give.

And it isn’t as simple as “looks” or “sex.” While a sugar daddy might appreciate good looks and fun in the bedroom, those aren’t the only things sugar daddies want.

Whatever it is – one thing is for sure: there’s something the sugar daddy doesn’t have in his life that he wants and is willing to pay for. For a closeted married sugar daddy, it may be a no-strings experience – but trust and discretion are equally important.

For a busy sugar daddy, it may be the fantasy of an exciting all-the-fun-without-the-downsides dating experience. You may need to keep up a certain persona for extended periods of time.

Be ready for the mental – and emotional – challenge that is a part of the sugar baby job description.

#3. Protect Yourself

Sugar dating is like anything else – you need to take necessary precautions and the best time to do that is before you get started. After all, you strap on your seat belt before you start driving, right? And you buy travel insurance before the trip starts.

So the first thing you need to do is to protect your identity. Get a separate sugar baby email, a burner phone or a Google Voice number, and keep your sugar life and personal life separate until you’ve found a sugar daddy you trust.

The next step is to protect your wallet. Be aware of popular sugar daddy scams and the kinds of personal information you should never give a sugar daddy.

Last but certainly not least, protect your health. Know what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to physical intimacy. Be clear on your expectations regarding getting tested and using protection.

A well-meaning, experienced gay sugar daddies won’t be put off by these boundaries – they’ll expect them because they’re necessary for a mutually beneficial relationship.

#4. Persistence Matters

Here’s one big truth about finding a gay sugar daddy: there is going to be a lot of competition for a small number of sugar daddies.

This is standard across most sugar dating sites – there are always more sugar babies than sugar daddies. It’s intentionally designed to be this way, which is why many sugar daddy sites are free for sugar babies while sugar daddies have to pay.

This is further augmented by the fact that there is a smaller pool of gay sugar daddies to begin with. The result? The competition is fierce.

So be prepared to roll up your sleeves and put in the work. Sign up for both the sugar daddy sites we recommend. Put up your best profile pictures. Work your charm into the sugar baby bio. And start messaging and meeting potential sugar daddies like it’s your job.

I recommend sugar babies who are serious about finding a sugar daddy to become more noticeable by upgrading to premium membership so you can get noticed more easily. Sugar daddies have a lot of sugar babies and don’t have the time to sift through profiles. You want to make sure yours stands out.

#5. Location Matters

You may be the most charming, best looking sugar baby ever but if you’re living in a very small town, the odds of finding a gay sugar daddy are not in your favor.

And while you can’t pick up and move – at least, not yet – you can expand your sugar daddy search to more favorable places. Chances are that you may meet a sugar daddy who has business close to your hometown or who’d be willing to fly you out to where they are.

So where should you look?

Based on a survey by Seeking, these below are the top cities in the US for gay sugar dating. The list below is ranked based on the number of gay sugar daddies/sugar babies per 1,000 adult men.

How Long Does It Take to Find a Gay Sugar Daddy?

Social media can make the life of a sugar baby look so easy. Which is so many new sugar babies think that they can find someone in a week or so and everything will be fine.

I wish I could say that will be the case but it’s rarely ever the case! Even for straight sugar babies – with a greater abundance of sugar daddies to choose from – it’s estimated to take a couple months. Especially if you focus on finding a sugar daddy who you actually get on with and who can provide what you want.

Remember that these are sugar daddies who are going to invest their hard earned money on you, so they really need to know that you’re the best thing in the long haul. Be aware that it’s not going to be instant results. But once it happens, it’s worth the work.