Whatever you call it – the first sugar date, an M&G, the Meet and Greet – there’s no doubt about it being a pretty important event. Which is why you are undoubtedly equal parts excited and nervous.
After all, you’ve worked pretty hard for this. You’ve been busy. There have been messages, texts, and phone calls with various potentials. You’ve weeded out the fakes and the rinsers.
And you’ve finally arrived at the fun part: the First Sugar Date.
But you already know that this can be a make it or break it kind of date. You have your fingers crossed that everything will go right.
You hope she will look like her pictures. Or that he will enjoy your personality just as much as he enjoys your looks. And of course, you have a whole bunch of questions about what to expect and how you should prepare.
That’s what we’re here for. Here’s how to make that first sugar date as good as it can get.
6 First Sugar Date Rules
There aren’t really any hard rules for the first sugar date. But there are a collection of tips that applies to every single sugar date…
Always Meet in a Public Place
That first sugar date is exciting and nerve-wrecking. What it shouldn’t ever be is dangerous. And the best way to guarantee that is to always meet in a public place.
This goes for both sugar babies and sugar daddies .
The chances are that your first sugar date will go swimmingly well but you never want to take unnecessary risks. So choose a public venue that’s guaranteed to have a lot of people.
Focus on Connection
One of the most important things that both sugar daddies and sugar babies look for is chemistry and connection. So forget about the fact that it’s your first time meeting or the age difference. Or that he’s intimidatingly worldly or that she’s intimidatingly attractive.
Read: How to Talk to a Sugar Daddy to Build Attraction and Connection
Just focus on getting to know each other. Keep the conversation flowing naturally by showing genuine interest. Smile. Maintain eye contact. Most importantly, treat your date like you would a good friend, with ease and affection.
Be Honest
The first sugar date is a good time to lay your cards on the table. This doesn’t mean divulging all the stuff that’s going on in your life or discussing the nitty gritty of the arrangement itself. You can save all that for later.
But you do want to be upfront about the general gist of what you’re looking for, if you haven’t been already. Be ready to talk about some of the expectations you have for the arrangement as well as clear boundaries.
Ask the Right Questions
On the first sugar date, the conversation is everything. You’ll know if you like what they look like immediately. You’ll be able to ascertain if you’re attracted to their vibe, their voice, the way they carry themselves pretty in the next couple of minutes.
Read: The Most Important Questions to Ask a Sugar Daddy
After that, it all boils down to conversation. And to keep the conversation flowing easily, you need to know how to ask good questions.
Be Discreet
Discretion is a quality that both sugar daddies and sugar babies look for. And it doesn’t begin once an arrangement does – it starts from the very first sugar date.
One way to display that you understand the importance of being discreet is to choose your words carefully when discussing the arrangement.
This is huge on a first sugar date because you two are getting to know each other and asking each other a ton of questions. Most likely you’ll meet each other in a busy, public place like a coffee shop or restaurant and you don’t want to throw around words that draw unwanted attention on you.
Find a nice quiet spot in the corner so you won’t have to be shouting at each other. An example of being discreet with your conversations is talking about where you two met.
One of the most common first sugar date questions is “Why did you join a sugar dating website?” But instead of saying “Why did you join (insert sugar dating website)?” or “Why were you looking for a sugar baby?”
Keep it simple, they will understand right away if you word things like “Why did you join the website?” or a simple “What are you looking for?”
Be Respectful
All the standard good manners that apply to first dates apply to first sugar dates as well. Show basic consideration for your sugar date by.
There are a few specific things for sugar babies to avoid – for example, being late. It may not seem like a big deal but a sugar daddy may feel it’s disrespectful of his time.
Another you don’t want to be constantly doing on your first sugar date? Checking your phone constantly.
Yes, we live in a time where we get distracted easily and you see your phone light up and you really want to check what your friend just tagged you in on Facebook, you want to Snapchat the nice meal you’re having. But don’t make him feel like he’s not the priority or boring you!
If you really need to check your phone, excuse yourself to the restroom and present yourself as professional as you can.
And, of course, keep proper sugar baby etiquette in mind. Simply remembering to say “please” and “thank you” goes a long way.
As sugar daddies – one great way for a sugar daddy to show respect is to show genuine interest in the sugar baby. Most sugar daddies have had amazing careers and lives but the conversation shouldn’t solely center around the sugar daddy.
Last but not least, light and flirtatious touches can be fun for a first sugar date. But getting grabby or too invasive about personal space is a no go.
How Long is a First Sugar Date?
The first sugar date is typically between one to three hours long. That’s enough to time to see if there is any chemistry, if you both enjoy each other’s company, and whether you have common interests.
It’s also enough time to discuss a few preliminary expectations and boundaries for the ideal sugar relationship. And it’s definitely enough time to decide if you want to see each other again.
Where to Go for the First Sugar Date?
When it comes to the venue for the first sugar date, the world is your oyster. Whether you want to keep it casual or aim to impress, it really comes down to personal choice.
The only two things we’d recommend are to choose a place that’s nice enough – at least mid-tier – and quiet enough that you can actually enjoy each other’s company without shouting to hear one another.
Here are some popular places for a first sugar date.
Coffee Date. The most casual way to do a Meet and Greet, can be short enough to squeeze into a busy day, and is a great way to make sure a potential sugar baby looks like her pictures and she is who she says he is and vice versa. Not very in-depth but can definitely get a feel for each other.
Brunch or Lunch. Still casual but typically takes a little longer and you’re sharing a meal together, so a bit more intimate. Conversation can go on a bit longer and more of an opportunity to get to know each other.
Happy Hour. If you’re comfortable doing your first Meet and Greet over drinks, Happy Hour is a good option. It’s a fairly casual way to meet up and both of you have an easy escape if you’re not feeling it. If you are into it, on the other hand, there’s plenty of room and space to have long winding conversations and get to know each other.
Dinner Date. We recommend full-on dinner dates for potential sugar babies or sugar daddies who you’ve chatted with long enough to know you already vibe. The dinner date is then an opportunity to meet in the flesh and confirm what you already know. This is probably the most time-intensive kind of first sugar date since a good meal at a nice restaurant will be about 1.5 hours and the average multi-course dinner can last around 3 hours.
Tip for sugar daddies: To impress your sugar baby from the get go, let her choose the venue.
Tip for sugar babies: If a sugar daddy suggests a place, showing excitement about it is a smart way to convey appreciation and even compatibility.
What Do You Talk About on the First Sugar Date?
The purpose of the first sugar date is really to get to know each other and assess whether you can imagine being in an arrangement together.
As such, the best conversation topics are personal – but not too personal. Here’s what we mean…
Talk about your life
Conversations that leave you both feeling like you know and understand each other are the key to fostering connection. So be open in talking about your life. That includes topics like:
- How do you usually spend your day?
- Did you grow up in the city you live in now? If not, where? How are they different?
- What do you do for fun?
- What do you do for work or study? What do you like or don’t like about it?
- When’s your birthday? What’s the best birthday you’ve ever had?
It may be general conversation but it definitely breaks the ice and will have you both feeling more comfortable to lead into other topics.
Don’t share identifiable details
It’s one thing to be an open book about your favorite movies or why you chose to be a vegan, it’s an entirely different thing to be too forthcoming about easily identifiable details about your life. Especially on the first sugar date.
You don’t know each other too well yet. So keep information like the company you work in, the street you live on, and other personal details to share once you trust each other more.
Talk about what you like
Conversations about what you like and questions about what the other person likes are great conversation topics for first sugar dates. They’re positive in nature and focuses the attention on the things you love most in life.
So share hobbies and interests you have and why you’re passionate about them. As well as goals and dreams you’re excited about, like places you’d love to visit and experiences that have been on your bucket list.
Skip what you don’t
Nothing ruins a good first sugar date like someone who can’t stop talking about all the things that are wrong in their lives. That includes financial troubles, relationship troubles, and any sob stories in general.
Of course, it’s okay to mention that you’re going through a divorce or in a loveless marriage. But it’s not great form to do into detail about the marital problems.
Ditto for financial woes. It’s one thing to say that you’re struggling with tuition costs but quite another to complain about how hard it is to be broke.
Be in the Present
One of the best and easiest conversation topics is to discuss what’s happening at the moment. Share the kind of day you had and ask about theirs.
You can also draw on aspects of your environment. Is there anything particularly interesting or funny about where you are? These are the things that draw shared laughs and lead to fun memories down the road.
Avoid strong opinions
Anything to do with politics and religion are good to steer clear of. First sugar date banter is the goal, not a heated debate.
Do You Talk Money on the First sugar Date?
The short answer is: if you want to. It really is a matter of personal preference. But here are the pros and cons of doing it before, during, or after the first sugar date…
Before the First Sugar Date: Having the allowance talk and knowing the range that both parties are comfortable and happy with saves time. It is very direct, sure, but it quickly lets both parties weed out potentials that they won’t be compatible with.
During the First Sugar Date: Some sugar babies and sugar daddies prefer to talk about allowance amounts and the terms of the arrangement on the first date, face-to-face. Others find it awkward. It is completely up to which side you fall on. If you’re comfortable enough with it, go for it. If not, use the first date to get to know each other and then discuss it afterwards if there’s enough chemistry to warrant it.
After the First Sugar Date: If there is chemistry during that first sugar date and you both know you want an arrangement with each other, that après date allowance conversation is going to go a lot smoother. That’s the biggest advantage of waiting until after the date, although you risk wasting your time on someone you have chemistry with – but is out of your range.
Is There Sugar on the First Sugar Date
Some sugar babies want sugar (aka money) on the first sugar date. Some sugar daddies want sugar (aka sex) on the first sugar date.
So should there be sugar?
Well, we’re all grown adults. And as such, whether there is sugar on the first date comes down entirely to you.
But the bare expectations of the first sugar date are simply this: The sugar daddy pays for the date. The sugar baby is punctual and appreciate. Both potential sugar partners get to know each other and see if they want to take it further. That’s it.
A generous sugar daddy who wants to demonstrate from the get go that he is serious may cover transportation, bring a gift, or even give the sugar baby a little cash. But that’s completely optional and not to be expected.
Similarly, a sugar baby who is very attracted to the sugar daddy may sleep with him on the first sugar date, whether there will be an arrangement or not. But again, that is the exception, not the rule. And certainly not something to be expected.
All in all, there should be no expectations of sugar on the first sugar date. Only to see if there is a possibility of a sugar relationship.
And there you have it – everything you need to know about the first sugar date! Have any more tips we left out? Let us know in the comments.
