Sugar baby etiquette is a topic that’s not discussed often but it is especially important. Sugar daddies tend to be older, as well as more refined and cultured, and appreciate a sugar baby who knows how to carry herself.
So what even is sugar baby etiquette?
Well, we’re not talking about knowing which knife is used for butter or meat. Basic sugar baby etiquette really comes down to making the people around you feel comfortable. It’s demonstrating that you’re polite, well-mannered, thoughtful, and that you can fit into the sugar daddy’s world without a hitch.
Done right, it’s an easy way to differentiate yourself from the competition and earn a sugar daddy’s appreciation and respect from the get go.
So how do you do it? Here’s our sugar baby etiquette guide to get you through any situation you may find yourself in.
Sugar Baby Etiquette Starts Before You Meet
That first text he sends you, that first phone call, the offer to take you on your first sugar date – all of these everyday occasions are opportunities to give a potential sugar daddy a taste of the classy, courteous way in which you conduct yourself.
Here’s what we mean.
Don’t Wait Too Long
We get it. You’re busy. But when a sugar daddy texts you, one of the easiest ways to be polite is to simply reply to his messages in a timely manner.
That doesn’t need to be right this minute. But come on, sugar daddies know that you most likely have your phone on you at all times. He can see the last time you were online. And you leave his message on read for hours? He’s going to feel unappreciated and disrespected.
So try to reply as soon as you can – even if it’s just a short text to say you’re in class or at work and will text him later.
Keep it Classy
Everything you share about yourself and your life is going to be used to form an impression of you – all before you even meet.
So keep it classy.
This doesn’t mean you lie. But if you went out with your girls last night, had one too many shots, and then ended up spending the night with some random guy or next to a toilet…just keep it to yourself.
In general, just think about the sort of image you want to portray to a sugar daddy – and then decide what to share and what not to share.
Redirect Instead of Refusing
Maybe you’re vegan and a sugar daddy suggests a steak restaurant for your first sugar date. Instead of becoming irritated that he didn’t remember that you are a vegan, gently remind him with a “That sounds lovely but I don’t eat meat. I do know a little place that does amazing Portobello steak frites. Want to give that a go?“
Or perhaps a sugar daddy wants to pick you up for your first sugar date – and you know that is a big sugar baby safety no-no. Instead of saying “No, I don’t get into cars with people I don’t know.” Say, “Thanks for the thoughtful offer but I would feel more comfortable having my own transport to our date.“
You should always advocate for what you want. But it all comes down to how you say it.
Sugar Baby Etiquette Rules for Dates
Sugar baby etiquette on dates is pretty much the same rules of etiquette in real life. But it’s even more important because that first sugar date could lead to an arrangement.
Here are the basic sugar baby etiquette rules for sugar dates.
Be Punctual. Sugar daddies tend to be busy men with full schedules. Running late on a date – especially your first sugar date – will not impress them.
Start with a Smile. A warm, sincere smile when greeting a potential sugar daddy is the easiest way to make a great first impression. Whether you want to follow that with a hug, a handshake, or even a fist bump is up to you. But start with a smile.
A Quick Introduction is Polite. You’ve already exchanged messages, texted and chatted, and feel like you know each other. But since we’re talking sugar baby etiquette, it needs to be mentioned that a quick introduction is the polite way to go. So say something like “Hi, I’m Emma, it’s really great to finally meet you. How’s your day going so far?“
Be Present. The best manners aren’t about knowing which fork to use for which dish – they’re about treating a person with consideration and grace. And the kindest thing you can do for the person you’re on a date with is to be focused on them.
Choose Sophisticated Language. This should be practiced around all sugar daddies. Don’t swear, use slang, or other crude language. Instead of saying, “Oh yeah! I want the salmon dinner”, say, “Yes, I’d like the salmon, please!”.
Know What Questions to Ask – and Not Ask. One of the biggest sugar baby etiquette tips is simply knowing which topics of conversation will draw you closer and which are always best avoided. When in doubt, simply choose to listen more than you talk.
Let Him “Be the Man.” Many sugar daddies are older and possibly even old-fashioned so if he wants to do things like pull your chair out and recommend what to order, be gracious about it.
Sugar Baby Etiquette After a Sugar Date
Here’s a crucial sugar baby etiquette tip that often goes unpracticed: show your appreciation after the date.
It can be as effortless as sending a quick text that says, “I had a great time tonight. Thanks for the lovely dinner and even better company. Hope you have the sweetest dreams.“
This simple act of showing appreciation for a sugar daddy’s time and efforts puts you in a different class of sugar babies. It won’t go unnoticed.
Sugar Baby Dress Code Etiquette
There is no such thing as a sugar baby dress code. The only thing that matters is that you dress for the venue and occasion.
Once you have an idea of the calibre of restaurant you’re going to, you can pick out the perfect outfit. If it’s an upscale restaurant, dress appropriately. Dig out your classy dresses and find dainty jewelry, because eyes will be on you.
Avoid showing excess cleavage, dresses that are too short, or dresses that you could show up to the club in. If you’re unsure, go with a plain dress that isn’t too flashy, simplicity makes a statement too!
Complete your outfit with a heel no taller than four inches and a little bling.
I generally stick to a simple yet sophisticated look – something along the lines of cigarette trousers and a cool printed shirt or a skirt with some sexy black opaque tights, not forgetting a killer pair of heels, of course.
Sugar Baby Etiquette Tips For Fancy Venues
One of my favorite things about being part a sugar baby is getting to experience things that I would never be able to do on my own.
Thanks to this sugar journey, I’ve eaten in some of the most amazing restaurants, attended some incredible events and stayed in some absolutely stunning hotels.
But when you are first starting out as a sugar baby, you’re most likely not accustomed to going to upscale restaurants, balls, parties, and just generally fancy places.
So when your sugar daddy invites you to one of these venues, you feel both excitement and a heap of anxiety. What are you going to wear? What will you talk about? How are you supposed to behave?
Lots of questions, even more Google-ing, and a lot of wishing that you had friends you could ask about these things.
No worries – we’ve got you covered. Here are a few sugar baby etiquette tips on how to present yourself wherever you go.
Peek behind the curtain
The very first thing you can do to help ease anxiety is to actually look up where you’re going. Getting an idea of what the place looks like helps solidify in your mind so it’s not some specter of a super fancy place that’s growing to intimidatingly fancier-than-thou proportions in your mind.
If it’s a restaurant you’ve never been to, look it up online. I’ve always found that just seeing pictures of the dining room make me a little bit more comfortable.
If you’re lucky, you’ll find pictures with actual people in it too so you get a sense of what you can wear to the venue.
Looking up the restaurant also lets you gauge just how fancy it is. You can also always rely on one thing to tell you just how fancy a restaurant is – the menu.
Any place your sugar daddy is bringing you to should be at least slightly more sophisticated than the Chipotle down the street anyway but the menu will help you determine just how fancy it is. The prices will obviously help but also the size of the menu as well as the size of the wine list.
If it’s a very fancy place and you’re feeling nervous, watch a couple videos on dining etiquette.
Quick tip: Also feel free to look up the items you don’t know on the menu (and even learn to pronounce everything the right way). It’s easy to do and it’ll give you a quick boost of confidence.
Don’t Be Intimidated
Yes, many of the places your sugar daddy is taking you to will be fancy. But hey, there’s no reason to be intimidated.
I mean, of course you’re not totally familiar with these venues – you’re a young student, after all. Nobody expects you to know everything. And you know what? Your sugar daddy will probably enjoy your genuine curiosity more than you knowing everything.
Plus, your sugar daddy will have experience at these kind of restaurants so it’ll be a chance for him to impress you.
As for all the stuff you don’t know – the waiter or sommelier will be well used to being asked questions regarding the food and wine menus respectively. Ask for a recommendation or if there’s any specials that week.
Curiosity is awesome
My biggest tip would be to step out of your comfort zone. Transform intimidation to curiosity and use it to experiment and learn. It’s easy to see steak or chicken on the menu and select something you think looks familiar to you.
But the food at restaurants like these is more of an experience than just a meal. They’ve been carefully constructed by incredible chefs so try something new and you might find yourself a whole new favorite dish!
If you really don’t feel comfortable ordering, particularly when it comes to wine, you can always defer to your sugar daddy. A man I was seeing for just over a year approximately two years ago had a passion for wine. The first trip we took was to Napa Valley. There’s some stunning vineyards and I really knew nothing about wine before I went there.
I can guarantee your sugar daddy won’t mind teaching you a thing or two and that particular sugar daddy definitely passed on his passion to me!
Ask for What You Need
If your sugar daddy has invited you to an event that requires a dress code out of your normal budget – kindly inform him you’d be delighted to join him. But you have nothing appropriate and could he help you to get something that he’d love to see you in.
If he’s taking you to a gala or any other high class event where you’ll be meeting people, he’ll understand that you need to dress to impress. Overdressing is always better than underdressing.
I always choose to wear heels to events like these, and recommend them generally. Unless you’re too tall (opt for some clean flats). Jewelry should look expensive, but it doesn’t have to cost you much. You just want to shy away from tacky studs and over-the-top pieces.
Personally, I always feel super confident getting my hair blown out so I always get one before big events. If you feel good about yourself, your confidence will seep through.
A sugar daddy who is inviting you to a formal or fancy event should be happy to make sure that you’re dressed appropriately and looking your best.
Do Your research
Thank god for the Internet, right? If it’s a charity fundraiser or a business event that he’s taking you too, just like you did with the restaurant, look it up online. Have a basic knowledge of the company or companies involved at the very least and you won’t look so out of your depth when you arrive.
Your sugar daddy will also appreciate the interest you’re taking and you’ll be able to hold your own in a conversation while you’re there.
Learn the art of small talk
This only applies when you’re meeting other people with your sugar daddy, because you don’t want to do this with him. You want to get to know him better!
Small talk is an essential skill, and there’s a sweet spot to hit. You’ll want to make meaningful small talk to make it seem like you’re actually interested in who you’re talking to, so ask about them and try to not talk about your surroundings or yourself too much.
Start out by asking how their day went, or how they’re enjoying the food, but transition into asking them questions about themselves (“What do you do?”) or for advice (“I wish I could learn more about the stock market. Are there any tips you could give to a beginner?”).
Genuinely listen to other people have to say and pay attention to both your body language and theirs! You’ll want to smile and face them completely.
The number one thing to avoid? Checking your phone while they’re talking! It’s rude and makes you and your sugar daddy look bad, and that’s the last thing you want.
Master a handshake
This one’s pretty simple. It’s pretty useful to have a good handshake down pat. Practice with friends and family if you have to.
First, you’ll want to make sure your hands are clean. If you have oil or food remnants on your hand, politely excuse yourself for having messy hands and wipe them with a napkin, or if none are available, apologize and greet them the same way.
If your hands are sweaty, try to discreetly wipe them on your clothes. To start, to grip the person’s hand firmly, but don’t squeeze their fingers together.
Make proper eye contact and smile, then give it one or two shakes. Your first impression is the most important, so don’t mess this part up.
Another important tip is not to sit on your phone all night, updating your Instagram story. It’s not good manners in any situation, no matter how tempted you are to show off to your friends!
I know it can be tempting to document your evening, especially when going to fancy restaurants and events but try to be in the moment, and make your sugar daddy feel like you really want to be there.
Or excuse yourself to go to the ladies room if you want to send a quick text or check your messages. There’s nothing less polite than being glued to your phone during a sugar date or event.
Don’t Drink (Too Much)
Perhaps a slightly obvious tip is to make sure you absolutely do not have too much to drink while out with your sugar daddy, particularly at a high end venue. It’s never a good idea. Your sugar daddy will only get angry, embarrassed or both.
Drunk people are usually loud and obnoxious and unless you’ve no interest in being invited back, I’d advise you to stay sober! It’s best to limit yourself to 3-4 drinks over the course of so many hours.
A good rule of thumb to stick to is one drink per hour. This way you can still have a good time while still being able to engage in intelligent conversation.
The Final Note
As you can see, sugar baby etiquette is actually just a couple small things that you do. But as small as they are, they differentiate you from the competition and add up to a great sugar baby that’ll give reason to your daddy to take you out again.
What other things are important to remember when going out with a sugar daddy? Leave your ideas below!