So you’re a first time sugar baby. You’re brand new to this and the only information you know is from the articles you’ve read online. You’re excited but also nervous and anxious about this new world.
It’s absolutely okay to feel all these things. I’ve been there. We were all first time sugar babies once.
That’s why there are sites and articles like this to help guide you through and let you know it’s less nerve wrecking than you think it is. Especially when you know a little about what to expect.
I’ll be honest and say I was super scared, nervous and doubtful about putting myself out there. I was never someone with very much self esteem. Starting my journey as a first time sugar baby really helped me boost my own self love. It made me realize that you will never know the result of something unless you try.
If you’re there right now, there’s probably a whole lot of things running through your mind, right? So let’s lay some basic things down. Here are some things I wish I’d known when I was a first time sugar baby.
To Share or Not to Share?
It’s your personal life. As a first time sugar baby, I was scared about what my friends would think if this ever got out. They would never think I was a girl to enter an arrangement like this. But I really needed financial help and wanted to give this a try and hey guess what?
It’s my life!
You don’t owe it to anyone to tell them anything. It’s your life and you can live it how you want to live it. If you want to keep an aspect of your life private, then you keep it private. You don’t need anyone’s permission.
There’s no need to share what you’re doing with your friends if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. As long as the arrangement makes you happy, that’s what matters.
Be Ready to Text Your Sugar Daddy
Now once you’ve sparked some interest in a potential sugar daddy and have some back and forth message conversation going on, he may give his number out and move the conversation to text instead. This is good because this shows he wants to actually get to know you better.
In my previous experiences, sugar daddies have always asked to send a picture. There’s no harm in asking for him to send a picture as well. It is fair game to confirm that they are who they say they are from their profile.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself through text as well! It’s hard to read context through text but keeping it fun and throwing in a few exclamation points and a smiley face will let that sugar daddy know how upbeat you are to be around and how excited you are to meet.
It sounds terrifying meeting someone most likely older than you, especially when this is your first time. But most sugar dates turn out to be quite fun.
Just keep in mind that gut feelings always come first. If there’s something off and you have a weird feeling about a particular sugar daddy, don’t meet him. I promise you that you will find another sugar daddy that will be just as interested in you.
The First Sugar Date
As a first time sugar baby, this may be your first time meeting a stranger online and you’re intimidated. Or you’re thinking about all the horror stories from the news.
Meeting for the first time can be intimidating. But there are ways you can make it safe and comfortable. For example, setting up the first date at a very public space during the daytime is a good idea. Choose a coffee shop or a restaurant where there will always be other people and provides an easy environment for you to get up and leave if you’re starting to feel sketched out.
I actually met up with my first sugar daddy by a beach and we walked along the pier and boardwalk! It was a great place to talk and get to know each other.
Note: If a sugar daddy asks to pick you up for the date, politely decline. Say you can meet up with him there. That way your first encounter isn’t in his car and once again you have a safe way back if things get sketchy.
First Time Sugar Babies Must Be Ready to Talk
Here’s one of the most awkward parts when you’re a first time sugar baby. As you’re on your first date, there’s going to be the elephant in room the whole time. Allowance. It’s on your mind and it’s on his mind. If you two have not already spoke about it through messages or text – now is the time to bring it up.
You don’t want the arrangement to keep going further and not have a solid ground on what you both are looking for.
Believe me, it’s also intimidating being so straightforward asking for a fairly large sum of money for your needs. I got nervous every time in the beginning when this conversation had to be brought up.
For me, it’s been every time that the sugar daddy brings up the question but if they don’t, please don’t hesitate to ask them.
Talk About Money
A simple: “so what are you looking to get out of this arrangement?” will get the conversation started. Then you let them know exactly what you are looking to get out of it, the allowance you want and it’s always fantastic to follow up and say what you will use the money for, i.e. school tuition, textbook, rent, etc.
After all, it is the sugar daddy investing in you and you want to assure him that the money is put to good use and not on booze or the heels you’ve been eyeing for weeks.
It’s great to also discuss how often the allowance will be paid out – Monthly? Weekly? Every time you see each other? You may even want to discuss how you’ll be receiving your allowance.
Figure Out Logistics
Logistics also matter so discuss how often you would like to meet, both of you probably have busy schedules, so do weekends work better? Meet twice every week? Is he in out of town a lot and his schedule changes?
Figure out how much he would like to talk via phone when you’re not together, does he want a text every few days just to know you’re thinking of him or does he want a text or phone call on a daily basis to keep up to date?
The sugar daddy could be a very busy person and not want to be bothered at work by day, figuring how much communication is needed is key.
Don’t Say “Yes” When You Mean “No”
Don’t say yes to something you don’t feel comfortable with. Here comes the “S” word: sex. A lot of articles I read online tend to sweep this topic under the rug. Yes, it seems a little taboo to talk about but I’m going to address it because it’s most likely going to end up in the conversation.
I’ve been on a few sugar dates trying to find the right sugar daddy that will work for me and every time the sex card has been brought up. I was terrified the first time it was ever brought up. Because how do you talk about something so intimate with someone you just met?!
It’s very understandable for you to get very shy and almost shut down when this topic comes along. Once again, it’s okay. Just breathe and gather your thoughts. Don’t push the topic away because it will come back.
Answer honestly. If you feel like that is something you don’t want to do, you DO NOT have to say yes. If you feel like you’re not ready yet, say exactly that. I told my sugar daddy that I was not ready yet because it was too soon and he appreciated my honesty and said that he understands and will wait until we get closer.
You guarantee your company and time when you’re with your sugar daddy but you do not have to guarantee being intimate if you feel you do not want to be. It is still your body and your choice. You have 100% control to say no to something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
If the sugar daddy does not understand this, then you are more than welcome to end the arrangement. I promise you will find another sugar daddy to create a genuine connection with and who will understand you.
The most important thing…
Now you have an arrangement that is starting to flourish. You’ve gotten to know each other’s hobbies, what you’re looking for, what the arrangement entails. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
- Do you feel comfortable with this sugar daddy?
- Do you feel comfortable being in public with him?
- Are you happy when you spend time together or talk to him over text/phone?
- Is there chemistry?
All of these questions have to be a yes, or else your time will feel like a chore and it shouldn’t have to be that way. I cannot stress how important it is that there has to be chemistry. If there is no chemistry you’re forcing yourself to pretend like you enjoy each other’s company and there is nothing more tiring than faking your feelings.
You should be happy and comfortable every time you two go on a date, not be dreading it.
These are all just main tips that I think first time sugar babies should keep in mind. There are so many more in depth tips that are crossing my mind but I don’t intend to write a novel on here! If there are any questions I would love to hear you guys leave a comment at the bottom of the article and I would be happy to answer your questions.
This post is by one of our contributing SB writers, Noelle, aka The Different One. You can check out her sugar baby story here!