Oh, the dreaded conversation of “Where did you get that purse?” or better yet, “How did you afford that purse?” Generally, the sugar provided by sugar daddies isn’t sugar that you could normally afford on your own!
Because I am a full-time sugar baby, I often get a routine set of questions that are constantly directed to my attention.
For some sugar babies, it might not be hard at all to tell their families where it’s all coming from…but if you’re anything like me, then telling your friends and family will be a challenge!
Telling your friends is one thing, but your family is another, so I would suggest breaking the ice with your friends first. Regardless of how you choose to do it, there are a few tips to keep in mind:
Be selective with who you tell
You don’t have to tell everyone flat out that you’re a sugar baby; you really only need to tell those who are closest to you and who may ask questions.
Does the whole world know when your cycle is? No, but I’m sure one or two friends do and maybe even your mom or grandma! I would also suggest having the conversation with them and asking them to respect your decisions and privacy.
Do. Not. Lie.
You don’t have to tell them everything either, but try not to lie.
If you start saying things like “Oh, my friend just bought me this diamond necklace because we are really good friends” or “Yeah, I found these Christian Louboutin’s from Goodwill” then your friends and family are going to want to meet your friends AND start shopping with you.
I generally just tell them that I accompany men to high-profile events and that everything is paid for. For example, if I’m going to a VIP dinner with a man, the outfit, shoes, accessories, etc. are paid for and that I get to keep them.
I tell them that 50% of the stuff is from events and that the other 50% are gifts after the fact because we formed a friendship and continue to stay in touch.
That’s the easy part and is mostly true. What can be difficult to explain is the money aspect. The people closest to you will attempt to label you as an escort, but this is their own ignorance because they aren’t aware of what it is that you do yet.
It’s important to explain to them that you have a long-term friendship and a bond. I like to make my sugar daddies seem like mentors and that seems to go over smoothly, as if they are trying to help me achieve my own goals, which is 100% true.
Don’t beat yourself up over it
Sometimes people just aren’t going to understand no matter how innocent it sounds. They won’t be able to wrap their heads around it, and that’s perfectly okay. I have a clear line between my “business” and my personal life and the less I intertwine the two, the less issues I seem to have.
Careful with the flaunting
As in, if your friends and family aren’t 100% for it, then be mindful when flaunting it.
For me, I’m a full-time student and I don’t have a job other than sugar dating. It’s not so much my parents that I’m worried about if I post a picture of my brand new Macbook and Hermes scarf, it’s the other people that I’m not thinking about.
To a few select people, I’m a sugar baby…but to the rest of the world I’m your average college student so I pride myself on looking like one. Occasionally there will be a snap of me riding around in a Lambo with shopping bags, but more often than not, it’s all about blending in.
If judgement is your fear, then let humbleness be your strong point. I leave just enough of a trail to keep people wondering, but nothing more than that.
Let them know that you are doing this for you
You don’t want to them to think you’re doing it for someone else or that you work for someone. Let them know that this is your journey and you set your own limits. By letting them know that you are in control of what happens, they may be more at peace with your decision to live a sugar lifestyle.
Ensure them of your safety
One of my biggest problems was that my friends and family were worried about my safety. This is completely understandable so I put a couple of things in place: One, someone always knows my location in the event that something should happen.
Two, I have a code word or a certain emoji that I will send to a few different people if I’m in danger and they know to call the police and send them to my location immediately.
Three, I have a concealed carry permit and therefore, I carry a gun. Once my family realized that these measures were taken, they felt a lot better about my dates.
I enjoy thriving in silence, and you might too. It’s just easier to have your friends and family on board when you’re honest and when they aren’t being bombarded with questions about you. It helps to ease them into it.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Stevie, aka The Sugar Daddy Whisperer. You can check out her sugar baby story here!