To play the game well, you must know the rules of the game. But sugar daddy rules are mostly unspoken. There are no manuals, no guidelines. Most sugar daddies only come to learn these rules the hard way.
And you don’t have time for that.
While sugar dating doesn’t really have rules, per se, there are a couple things you need to know to have the most fun and fulfilling time in the sugar bowl – while avoiding the pitfalls.
Here are the most important sugar daddy rules – and why.
Be Realistic
Being a sugar daddy is often painted as an exciting experience full of beautiful women and carefree fun. And it mostly is – but you need to have realistic expectations going in.
For starters, the age gap. Sugar babies vary in age but the majority are in their 20s. That means that there is going to be a difference in life experiences as well as mental and emotional maturity.
If you’re a sugar daddy because you want to date younger women, keep in mind that while younger women have their perks – there are downsides, too. You can’t expect a 23-year-old to have the same maturity as you, especially if you have a couple decades on her.
Do Your Research
Here’s one crucial sugar daddy rule: Before you enter the wild and woolly world of sugar dating, do your research. It can be as simple as:
- Learn to speak sugar daddy. There are a lot of terms in the sugar world that can be confusing when you’re new to the bowl. Read our guide all about sugar dating to quickly become an expert.
- Know the best sites. There are soooo many sugar daddy websites. But less than a dozen are worth your time. Read the reviews before you sign up.
- Research your target market. One of the smartest things a sugar daddy can do is to get some insight into what sugar babies want and are looking for. And it’s easy enough to get a peep inside – check out these sugar baby stories for tips and clues.
Be Honest in Your Profile
The goal for most sugar daddies is to find a sugar baby they genuinely get on with and to have a fulfilling sugar relationship. To do that, honesty is the best way to go. After all, you want a sugar baby who’s interested in you and what you have to offer.
Read: How to Create the Perfect Sugar Daddy Profile in 5 Easy Steps
Plus, being honest about yourself saves everybody’s time and energy. Eventually, the potential sugar baby is going to meet you. So lying about things like height and weight are pointless. So is using a profile picture that is over a decade old.
Last but not least, if you enter into an arrangement, she’s going to discover the finer details about your financial situation. So avoid exaggerating your net worth. Especially because it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be the richest whale to make a sugar baby happy – you just need to have the means to provide what she needs.
Do a Video Call ASAP
Of course, it doesn’t have to be immediately. But before you spend days chatting and exchanging messages with a potential sugar baby, try to jump on a video call.
Doing this immediately weeds out the scammers. Sugar baby scammers aren’t who they’re posing to be so if she is a fraudster scamming sugar daddies, she’ll most likely ghost.
Real sugar babies, on the other hand, will almost always agree to a video chat. After all, she wants to know you’re the real deal too.
The video call is also great way to have some preliminary discussions before actually meeting in person.
Tip: Don’t say that you need to do a video call to make sure she’s not a scammer. Say that you have a really good feeling about her and want to confirm that your chemistry over text translates to conversation.
Be Straight About What You Want
This is quite possibly the most important of the sugar daddy rules. Sugar dating works best when everything is clear and honest. So be ready to lay out and clarify exactly what your expectations and deal breakers are instead of assuming that a potential sugar baby will feel the same.
If you want physical intimacy to be part of a sugar arrangement, this needs to be made clear from the get go. If you’re a married sugar daddy and you need absolute discretion and to only be contacted at certain times, also make that clear.
Read: The Ideal SD/SB Relationship And How to Set One Up
Same goes for deal breakers. If punctuality is a must for you, emphasize that. Be clear that you won’t be tolerating multiple cancelled dates.
Whatever your main expectations and boundaries are – make sure that you’re upfront about them from the get go. That’s the beautiful thing about sugar dating, after all. You get to decide what elements of a relationship you want and what you don’t want.
Stay on the Right Side of the Law
Being is a sugar daddy is not illegal. But there are some lines that you cannot cross if you want to stay on the right side of the law. These are the main things you need to be careful about:
- Age of consent. Many sugar babies are young. And some may look older than they actually are. But this is one thing that you need to make sure of. Be 100% certain that any potential sugar baby you date is over the age of consent. This is one legal pitfall that is easily avoidable and not worth the trouble. Especially since the vast majority of sugar babies are legal adults.
- Explicit transactions of money for sex. Sugar dating that involves financial support for companionship and more is not illegal. But an explicit agreement to meet and exchange monetary gifts for sexual favors – i.e. “$x per hour” or “meet me for 30 minutes at a hotel for $xx” – crosses the line into prostitution and is illegal in many countries.
Stay on the right side of the law and steer clear from using sugar daddy websites to find Pay to Play. Especially avoid discussing specific dollar amounts and any specifics of what you expect in exchange for that money.
Not only will it get you banned on most sugar platforms, but it can also result in legal trouble.
Be Good to Your Sugar Baby
This may seem like a no-brainer but many learn this sugar daddy rule the hard way. Sugar babies get into the sugar bowl for a variety of reasons, from cold hard cash to mentorship to simply enjoying the finer things in life.
But most sugar babies – especially the best ones – know that they can get that from a sugar daddy who is also a gentleman, treats them with respect, and genuinely cares about their well-being.
Just as you wouldn’t want a sugar baby who is obviously tolerating your company only for the financial benefits, a sugar baby doesn’t want a sugar daddy who treats her like she is bought and paid for.
Manners matter in the sugar bowl, too. And being caring and respectful toward a sugar baby is key to the best sugar relationships.
Remember It’s a Sugar Relationship
One of the things that make sugar relationships so great is that it’s customized to your needs. The sugar baby is always at her best around you. She offers all the exciting fun and cozy comforts of being in a relationship minus the guilt, obligations, pressure for commitment.
She is the perfect woman. But remember that that’s just part of the deal.
If deeper feelings enter into the picture and you both want a real relationship – great. But first ask yourself if you’re mistaking affection and passion for love. And whether you’d still feel the same if your sugar baby didn’t present her best self around you all the time.
There are sugar relationships that grow into something deeper. But in general, most sugar babies are in the sugar bowl for a certain time and for a specific purpose. And it’s the no-strings-attached nature that contributes to making it so fun, exciting, and perfect.
It’s one of the hardest sugar daddy rule – don’t fall in love. Just enjoy it for what it is.
