Is he a real sugar daddy or not? If you’re asking this question, it’s likely that a potential sugar daddy has you feeling confused. He seems to like you but you’re not in an arrangement yet. You want to know whether you should continue giving him your time and energy or cut him loose.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there before. In fact, we constantly receive emails from sugar babies who are asking the very same question: is this potential a real sugar daddy or not?
This is such a big topic that we’re going to cover it in detail. You’ll learn:
- A real life example posed by a sugar baby
- The most obvious signs of a real sugar daddy
- How to tell if a sugar daddy is real online
- The most effective tests to find out if he’s a real sugar daddy
Let’s dive in.
Q&A: Is He a Real Sugar Daddy?
We get a lot of emails from first time sugar babies who are wading through all kinds of sugar daddies. There are the good ones. There are the bad ones. And then there are the sugar daddies that are sending some strong mixed signals.
Which leaves many sugar babies wondering: Is he a real sugar daddy or is he faking it?
Here’s one email we received recently:
“I really desperately need your help so thought to try. I had a first ever date today and I’m so confused. The guy is on sugardaddie.com and has photos of him from holidays, rented jet, sitting at the bar, etc. When we sat down, he told me he’s really into photography and how he hired that plane for the shoot, how we can have a shoot together just for fun as that’s his hobby. There’s no nudity involved – he would basically hire a Rolls Royce so we can make a “couple” pic.
We got dinner, he paid for it and then left some tip in coins. He later told me to let him know if I needed any money for travel expenses but I said its okay since during the dinner, he mentioned how some women asked him for a gift on the first day, how some women are too thirsty, etc., so I acted completely cool.
He also asked me where I wanted to go next. I told him Tokyo and he said we can go for the weekend. I also said I need some sun and he said he’s going to Greece. He never mentioned allowance.
He said he can rent the Rolls Royce and we can just drive around and take photos. I texted him then at night that I don’t want photos with him but I can take photos of him and he used emoji for the first time and said, no prob more photos for me.
I am so, so confused. Hope you can give some advice.”
So is this Rolls Royce renter a real sugar daddy or not?
Our answer? We’re going to go with NO. This man is not a real sugar daddy. In fact, we wouldn’t even classify him as a proper Splenda daddy, since he isn’t even trying to take care of you.
Let’s be real here – you’re on a sugar daddy site for a reason. And it’s not just to meet guys to hang out with. You’re probably an attractive woman so he already knows that there’s no shortage of guys that are willing to “hang out” with you.
He’s not contributing anything to your life by hogging up your time to take pics of him with his rented Rolls Royce…so why would you spend a minute of your precious time with this guy?
Honestly, our personal 2 cents – the advice we’d give to a close sugar baby friend – is to not waste a minute of your valuable time with this guy.
Because there’s no chance of transforming him into a bona fide sugar daddy. Why? Because he simply doesn’t have the qualities all great sugar daddies have…
3 Signs He is a Real Sugar Daddy
Real sugar daddies come in all shapes, sizes, and preferences. So it’s very difficult to generalize them as one monolithic community. But there are certain qualities that all genuine sugar daddies share.
Look for those qualities and you’ll find the legit sugar daddies. Here’s how to know if a sugar daddy is real…
Cash, Not Flash
One of the first things you need to know when you become a sugar baby is this: Not all that glitters is gold.
In the above email, the potential sugar daddy is very interested in the lux lifestyle and the portrayal of having money. But his actions speak volumes – and not in the right way. Specifically, taking pics with a rented Rolls Royce…and then paying the tip in coins?! W.T.H?!
Too much flash, not much to back it up.
Want to know how to know if a sugar daddy is real? When he talks in cash, not flash.
Real Sugar Daddies Want to Take Care of You
The most important quality that makes a real sugar daddy is as simple as this: he actually wants to take care of you.
A potential sugar daddy worth pursuing and spending your time and energy with is one that gives you the money for travel expenses. Not one that prefaces the offer by mentioning how he thinks women are “thirsty” for asking for things too soon and then puts you in the now-awkward position of asking him for travel expenses.
Just this alone exposes the above potential sugar daddy as a joke. He doesn’t have what it takes to be a sugar daddy. In fact, any time a potential sugar daddy refers to sugar babies wanting to be taken care of as being thirsty, boring, transactional, greedy, or similar – he’s a fake sugar daddy.
It doesn’t even matter how rich he is. Because even if he is as rich as Midas, it doesn’t mean he’s going to share it with you.
A lot of first time sugar babies make the mistake of thinking that the richest sugar daddies make the best sugar daddies.
That is just not true.
The best sugar daddies are the ones who see to it that you’re taken care of. If he’s not doing that, it doesn’t matter how much glitter he’s got. It’s fool’s gold.
It Goes Both Ways
Last but not least, real sugar daddies want something mutually beneficial. They’re not trying to waste your time by endlessly stringing you along while you struggle financially. They’re not trying to pull a fast one on you by pushing for sex and ghosting you afterwards.
They want a sugar baby who can meet their needs, but the real sugar daddies like to have the satisfaction of knowing that they’re meeting your needs too.
That means a real sugar daddy who is interested in having an ongoing relationship with you will show an interest in your life. He will ask you what you like. What you’re looking for in an arrangement. He’ll ask you about goals, your hobbies, your interests.
He’ll want to know if you’re studying in college or if you’re working. He’ll want to learn about places you’ve been or places you want to go, hobbies you have or what kind of food you like.
Just because you’re embarking on an SD/SB relationship as opposed to the vanilla kind doesn’t make it any different in this aspect. You’re still going to have to get to know each other to develop a connection or bond.
Any man who’s not interested in doing so is usually not interested in being a real sugar daddy.
How to Know if a Sugar Daddy is Real in 5 Steps
That’s one of the most popular questions asked by sugar babies. And that’s not surprising – learning how to know if a sugar daddy is real or not is one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a sugar baby.
Because there will always be a potential sugar daddy who is happy to waste your time and energy without giving you anything in return.
If that’s happened to you – don’t worry. We’ve all had this happen before. A few too many times, actually, before we learned how to know if a sugar daddy is real.
The good news is that every sugar baby can learn how to do it. It doesn’t require great intuition – ‘though that helps – and you don’t even need years of experience to do it.
You just need to follow these 5 simple steps.
#1. Ask one little question
When to do it: During the first conversation
Your goal isn’t just to find a sugar daddy. It’s to find a real sugar daddy who’s compatible with you.
Which is why every sugar baby should ask this question, preferably in the first or second conversation you have with a potential sugar daddy.
So what’s the question? A simple “What are you looking for?”
How a potential sugar daddy answers can tell you a lot.
If his answer is a transactional exchange of sex for money, such as:
- “$xxx to come over right now”
- “$xx for car play”
Then you know that he’s not a real sugar daddy. He’s a john who is too cheap to hire an escort.
A man who’s answer has mostly to do with sex – i.e. “kinky fun with a beautiful young woman” wants sex, sex and more sex. If the potential sugar daddy you just started talking to answers in this way, he’s most likely a salt daddy.
A legitimate sugar daddy who is really interested in pursuing a relationship with you will actually want to have a conversation with you to see if you’re going to be compatible with each other.
They’ll tell you about the type of relationship they are looking for and ask you what you are looking for in return. Of course, sex will probably be a part of your relationship but how will you even know if you want to have sex before you meet and spend some time together?
#2. Request a Donation
When to do it: Before the first date
What do we look for first in a sugar daddy? Generosity. Generosity is usually a pretty good sign that someone is a nice, down to earth, and generally a good person.
One easy way to test for it is to ask the potential sugar daddy for a donation. Here’s how one sugar baby, Lindsey, aka Miss Independent, did it:
On Giving Tuesday last week, a day to give back after a holiday weekend of thankfulness and shopping, I shared a link with every potential sugar daddy I had been talking to of a triple matching program for a nonprofit that serves homeless youth. I have been working in nonprofits for a few years and had never seen a triple matching program, so I thought I should spread the word.
I got some pretty interesting answers; “I’m out of town, I don’t have any money to give, I don’t donate to charity, etc.” I also got some responses thanking me for sharing this great program with them, and saying they donated.
The website had a donation tracker, so after each person messaged me that they gave, I could check the tracker and see if it went up, and by how much. Someone gave a few grand. I can’t wait to meet that catch 😉
You can do something similar by telling potential sugar daddies before you meet them that you would like to get some services at Planned Parenthood. Would they please donate $100 to cover the cost of that service so you don’t feel bad about using Planned Parenthood’s resources for free? Feel free to say you need your quarterly STD test or birth control.
Since this would hypothetically benefit him as well, he has some pull to donate. Usually that is enough, because if he says no, you know you have a salt daddy.
On the other hand, if he sends you a screenshot of his donation, he’s probably a real sugar daddy. As you set up a new round of first sugar dates, put the guys that gave the biggest donations first in line.
#3. No Sex on the First Date
When to (not) do it: On the first date
Sometimes, what you don’t do is as important as what you do do.
And this is super simple way of quickly weeding out potential sugar daddies who are only looking for one thing.
#4. The Parking Test
When to do it: During the first date
If you have doubts about a potential sugar daddy on the first date, ask for him to pay for your parking on the way out.
This is an easy one: If he hands you a 5, you know he is looking to give the bare minimum. Or he may hand you a Benjamin, and then you know you’ve landed some real sugar!
Same thing applies for transportation. When you’re setting up a sugar date, does he ask you how you plan on getting to the meeting spot? Good if he does, that shows consideration. Bonus points if he offers to pay. Extra brownie points if he gives you more than enough to cover it.
#5. The Headphone Test
When to do it: After the first date
This is one of the smartest ways to know if a sugar daddy is the real deal. And it’s such a simple test. Simple is beautiful – and that’s precisely what we love about this “Headphone Test.”
It’s a brilliant little test you can use to gauge whether a potential sugar daddy has the intention – and the ability – to spend money, time and care on you.
It doesn’t demand much from the potential sugar daddy in question. But it will both demonstrate how worthy he is of pursuit as well as give him an opportunity to provide for you without imposing on him.
Plus, you’ll most likely end up with a lifetime supply of audio gear.
Here’s our modified version, 3-step version on how to do it. You can find the original outlined in Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring. Check out the book, btw – it’s one of the best sugar baby books for good reason!
The best way to hook a potential sugar daddy is to thoroughly knock his socks off on the first date. Be interesting, be funny, be engaging, be flirtatious and most of all – be your charming self.
Your first and foremost for the first date is to make him CRAVE to want to see you again. Under no circumstances should this involve sex.
If you did step 1 right, the potential sugar daddy should contact you within a few days asking to see you again. If you did it really right, he’ll be asking what he can write on the check to make you happy – in which case, you can skip the test.
While you’re arranging your next date, slip it into the conversation that you need a set of headphones. You can make it seem like you can’t hear him very well, briefly comment on your broken headphones and ask him if he can swing by the store and grab you a pair before you meet up. Don’t specify the brand or price – tell him to surprise you.
As all experienced sugar babies know – just ’cause a sugar daddy has massive wealth, it doesn’t mean he’s willing to share any of it. This test is great because it allows you to find out (quickly and without asking) if and how willing a potential sugar daddy is to spend on you.
If you did the asking, you’ll know if this potential sugar daddy is worth any extra effort or time by the second date based on what he brings you.
If he shows up empty-handed and says he forgot – cut the date short and feel free to lose his number (unless he slips you $100 to pick some up yourself).
If he shows up with a cheap pair of headphones – $20, $30 – then you know he is willing to spend on you, but probably not that much. You can think of him as a Splenda Daddy and keep him around. Or if you’re on the hunt specifically for a bigger fish – cut him loose.
Now if he presents you an expensive pair of headphones from a top brand – then you know he is both willing to spend money and consideration to make you happy. That’s what you want in a sugar daddy and this one is worth your time.
Have you tried the Headphone Test (or something similar)? Let us know in the comments how it went for you!