Being a sugar baby and having a boyfriend – is it possible? It does feel like having your cake and eating it too. And when done right, it can be the best of both worlds.
But how do you navigate this situation? Well, it depends. There are the situations where an aspiring sugar baby with a boyfriend is wondering if she could also have a sugar daddy.
And then there are situations where a sugar baby in an arrangement with a sugar daddy finds herself attracted to someone not in the sugar world.
We got you covered in both cases. Here’s what you need to know.
Being a Sugar Baby with a Boyfriend
If you’re curious about having a sugar daddy – but you’re not exactly single, trust us when we say you’re not alone. Being a sugar baby with a boyfriend may not be common but it does happen.
It’s a big world out there and whereas some boyfriends and some sugar daddies may not be okay with it, others don’t think it’s a big deal at all.
So if you currently have a partner but you also want a sugar daddy, here are a couple things to consider:
- Be Honest. If you want the best of both worlds, it’s up to you to pursue it. But honesty is key. You can’t take an unwilling and unaware partner along for the ride. You’ll have to decide whether having a sugar daddy as well as a boyfriend is something that you consider worthwhile enough to jeopardize your relationship for.
- Platonic or Not? This might be the biggest factor for most partners. If you are looking for a long-distance, platonic sugar daddy, it’s more likely that your current boyfriend may be understanding. But if it’s a full-blown sugar relationship, many boyfriends may see it as a deal-breaker.
- What Do You Want? At the end of the day, it is your call. If your relationship with your boyfriend is everything you want, then jeopardizing it for a sugar daddy may not be worth it. However, if your current life goals would benefit more from having a sugar daddy, that may be worth considering.
The most important thing to remember is that if you currently have a partner and you also want a sugar daddy, honesty is key. Make sure you’re both on the same page before you get yourself on the best sugar daddy websites.
But what about on the other side? What if you’re happy being a sugar baby but you meet someone that you want to date?
Being a Sugar Baby and Having a Boyfriend Too
Life is funny. There you are, happy as a clam with your sugar arrangement and then along comes a cutie that leaves you wanting more. Yup, we’re talking a “real” relationship – one without the sugary benefits.
So here you are, wanting to enter a relationship but grappling with the fact that you…
- Have no idea how to tell someone that you are a sugar baby
- Don’t want to stop being a sugar baby
- Want to pull your hair out because you have no idea what to do
All of the above are understandable and hopefully when you’re finished reading this, you’ll have a better sense of how to handle the situation!
To Tell or Not to Tell
Maybe you came across someone by chance, maybe you’ve known them a long time, or maybe your friend introduced you to them. Whatever the case may be, you now have talked to them for a few days or even a couple of weeks and you’re starting to catch feelings.
Your crush clearly sees that you have it all together. You’re probably nervous because you carry around expensive handbags, have your nails constantly done, and dress in designer clothes. Or maybe you don’t do any of those things, but you have your bills or college tuition paid and how on earth are you supposed to tell this person that you like about all of this?
Well, you have three choices:
- Give up the crush as a potential boyfriend and keep your sugar daddy
- End things with your sugar daddy and pursue the boyfriend
- Tell the boyfriend about your sugar daddy and hope for the best
For the mass majority of us, losing our “sugar baby” status would be detrimental in some way. The money that you are collecting is going somewhere that it needs to go!
What are you supposed to do… give it all up so your crush doesn’t find out? No way! (Unless you want to of course.)
Unfortunately, you can’t live your entire relationship based on a lie saying the extra money is coming from “work bonuses.” This leaves you with one option, being honest.
Telling the Truth
This may seem like a terrible idea at first because you likely have just about no idea how they will react, but you need to if you want your personal relationship to work.
This doesn’t mean on the first date you blurt out “I am a sugar baby! Is that okay!?” But after a few dates, a few long phone calls, and some text messages, it is time to fess up. You don’t have to be 100% upfront about what you do, but you should give them the gist of it.
Maybe something like this: “Hey, I know we have been getting to know each other for some time now and I feel like it is important that we are both honest with each other from the start. I have a side (or full-time) job where I (insert what it is that you do loosely here).
Be upfront and welcoming to any questions your crush may have and do your best to be understanding.
They may not have the initial reaction of “Oh, okay, that’s great!” They may be hurt, confused, or just need time to process what it is that you’re saying. What you need to realize is that it is perfectly acceptable for them to need some time, but by you being there and being open, they will probably be more accepting than they would if you started to act standoffish or offended.
Don’t Sugar Coat It
If your goal is to continue being a sugar baby, don’t sugar coat it. Tell them whether you feel being a sugar baby is temporary or permanent. If it pays for your tuition, tell them! If it pays for your nails to be done every other week, tell them!
The more you tell them upfront, the less it leaves for interpretation later. Who knows, maybe this person will offer to pick up the tab for small things so you can cut back but don’t expect them to write out a check for some large sum of money just because you want the latest Gucci handbag.
Explain to them that what you do is a job just like any other. Don’t let them knock down your feelings or be hard on you. You are doing what you do as a sugar baby because you enjoy what you get out of it and nobody can take that away from you.
If someone is going to cut you down because of it, is that the type of person you want to be with anyway? During these moments, you will learn a lot about the person you have a crush on… probably more than you would’ve learned if you weren’t a sugar baby.
See this as an opportunity to see someone’s true character, rather than seeing it as a battle.
Best of luck!
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Stevie, aka The Sugar Daddy Whisperer. You can check out her sugar baby story here!