Been there and done that with domesticity, I’m a sugar baby single mom and I’ve created a sugar baby alter ego that’s been the key to my successful sugar journey.
Tell us about yourself: who are you?
I believe that we all have an “alter ego” within us. A form of ourselves that is fearless in fulfilling a secret life that society has labeled taboo.
Distinct from our normal personality, finding our alter ego requires finding our “other self”, the side with a different and daunting personality.
In 2017, I studied, mastered and created my alter ego. Her name is Alli, a.k.a. CreatingSass. And sass is one of the many things she created.
What were your goals in starting the sugar journey?
It was 2017 when I discovered the “SD/SB” lifestyle. Fascinated, I researched the topic.
Yet, a discouraging reminder that I was in my mid 30s, could I pull it off?
In my mind, men on these sites wanted college girls as arm candy. I was on my 2nd divorce with a toddler and a teenager. No, no, no…not a typo, a 2 and a 12 year old.
But in Alli’s mind…the excitement of it all took over. GAME ON!!
My reasoning for doing this is probably not different then most. I needed money. With limited options, this was a choice I made using my self awareness as a tool rather than it using me as an insecurity.
How did you start your journey as a sugar baby?
I started on sites such as Established Men and Ashley Madison. None provided results I hoped for. I realized my profile didn’t stand out or introduce Alli the way I knew her in my head. After all, Alli is the ME I’ve always been too afraid to be.
This was also a moment I became aware that the profile was just as important as the picture.
Read: The Must Read Sugar Baby Profile Guide: 2023 Edition
Depending on the arrangement, appearances could play a small role. Alli’s personality, her sassy wit and authenticity had to grab attention. I tuned up my profile and researched more sites. I found Seeking.com and have continued to use it for almost 3 years.
Regardless of the site, your profile is what makes you stand out. Reading other babies’ profiles was my first approach. I wrote several drafts. I believe honesty splashed with mystery was my key.
Stating what type of arrangement you’re seeking is important, however, I kept that part of my bio short and simple.
Know your own goals
My long term goal with sugar dating wasn’t to travel or date a lot. It was finding a sugar daddy I could connect with in all areas. We had to be able to trust each other.
The goal was no more than two sugar daddies who’s intent was long term arrangements. This was my approach as I wrote the bio…and it worked.
Authenticity matters
Quoting my profile below, in every message or initial meet-up, potential sugar daddies mentioned how these words made me stand out.
“I don’t really care if you’re married or not, may sound taboo but oh well. Laundry, dinner, HA! Been there, done that…I have no intention of playing house…I kinda like the idea of being the fantasy. I like the idea of being shown off at dinner, feeling sexy and being craved.”
I couldn’t believe the response from Sugar Daddies. I had no hidden agendas stating the above. True authenticity. And Alli was able to say it for me.
Keep yourself safe
Anyone I met, we always met at the restaurant. I had a burner number set up. And I never gave out my real number. I was ALWAYS Alli. If a Sugar Daddy saw me in the store with my kids or one recognized my picture… “Hey Alli!!”
It was them appearing crazy since it wasn’t my actual name. (Oh yes, it’s happened, more than once.)
I never made an arrangement the first couple of months, however, I viewed the dates as practice. I gained confidence and realized I have a choice picking my sugar daddy, just as they have a choice of choosing their sugar baby.
Read: Sugar Baby Safety 101: How to Be Safe as a Sugar Baby
And in any arrangement – there had to be a connection beyond appearances.
Where Can a Sugar Baby Single Mom Find a sugar daddy?
Bantering, laughing and honest communication where most important to me from the get go. And 5 weeks into my time on Seeking, a message from Jeff arrived, an out-of-state sugar daddy.
Jeff lived in Virginia and we made a strong connection from the start. After 5 weeks of daily communication, Jeff flew out to meet me. While I’ll save the details about Jeff for another article, I will add that he’s been my main sugar daddy for almost 3 years.
He’s my best friend honestly. He is also 22 years older than me, funny and devastatingly handsome. Jeff is also married. Haha, again, that is a topic for another article.
What advice would you give to aspiring sugar babies?
I’m sharing my story and experience because I believe it’s important for babies just starting out, no matter what your age is, to use mine (and other babies) experiences as a tool.
Remaining mindful of the reality that we all have our reasons and with those reasons, we will all create our own niche. Reading other babies experiences introduces the various roles this life style offers.
My approach was creating my alter ego. CreatingSass is what created Alli. Confident, bold and sexy. Three words I’ve never felt to be me but deep down I knew they existed.
