I turned 40 this year, which is a biblical age in the sugar world, or so I am told.
Looking back at these four decades I see a mild amount of success in my chosen profession, which is art. I’ve been a freelancer my whole life, usually working a variety of jobs (bar tending, teaching English and German, office stuff etc.) whenever I wasn’t getting enough money out of art – which, to be honest – was quite often.
I grew up in a very rural area of Bavaria, moved to a bigger city as soon as I turned 18 and stayed there until three years ago, when a job made me move to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere.
My goal for sugar dating is to have a steady income without having to go back to the jobs I used to work.
Plus I really like building my personal network of people that can help me with a variety of things.
I just wish I had known about this world earlier. Like, a lot earlier. My life would have been easier.
Germany is a developing country when it comes to sugar dating. The website that is most frequented by German POTs is mysugardaddy.de.
When I created an account there I didn’t know much about sugar dating and so my profile read more like a regular one on any given dating site.
And so I got a lot of mails from guys whose flirt text had a line in it like “if you want money don’t contact me.“
I sure don’t understand why someone would register on a sugar dating site and then expect free rides but what do I know…I got my toes a little wet with a couple of first dates.
Dinner invitations, “let’s see how it goes” stuff. And it didn’t go anywhere.
Finally there was someone who showed more interest in me. Long conversations over the phone, daily texting –when I asked him about sugar in form of an allowance he said: “Yes, of course I’m going to support you.”
Well, it never happened. In the end he didn’t even pay my travel expenses for our third date.
So, the first thing I learned in the sugar dating world was: don’t fall into the “I was looking for a sugar baby but found my soulmate” trap. These guys are just cheap salt daddies.
I won’t argue that real feelings may develop in an arrangement but we’re talking about someone who saw me exactly once before he started to talk like this.
I opened a new profile that was more advertising and very clear on what it was I am looking for: a classical sugar relationship.
On mysugardaddy.de writing messages is not free. The only free way to get in touch with someone is to ask him questions from a catalog. I sent out a couple of “Do you want to go for a coffee with me?” to the few men in my area. And then it all happened really fast.
Instead of coffee, this guy invited me for lunch to one of the most expensive restaurants in the area. We hit it off. We had our next date two days later and talked sugar.
I had actually practiced how to ask for an allowance in front of the mirror. When it came to the real thing I was nervous but somehow I made it through and emerged with a slightly better deal than I had hoped for. Eureka!
What made me stand out to him on the site? Well, I have to admit, it was the short distance, but it was the chemistry between us that lead to the arrangement.
Diving into the sugar dating world changed me. I used to pride myself on doing everything by myself, not needing anyone else. I came to realize that yes, independence is a great thing, but my life could have been a lot easier if I had accepted help from the men I was with.
And actually, it’s still my accomplishment. The job description has changed, but it’s still a job. Being a companion, a muse, sometimes a therapist.
My favorite thing about being a sugar baby is to see the world through the eyes of the men I get to know. I also like how it pushes my self-esteem. Last week, someone spent more than twice my monthly rent just to meet me for a first date. I can feel my back straightening every time I think about that.
When you’re with your sugar daddy (or a POT) – be really there. Focus on him as if he were the most interesting person on earth.
Chances are your sugar daddy is a fascinating guy with great stories to tell, so this isn’t hard. Find something that you can truly compliment him on. Do this every time you see him. And be sincere about it. It’ll work wonders.
Above all, use common sense. That will safe you from 95% of the scammers out there. Stay true to yourself. If you can’t stand kissing a guy don’t even think about having sex with him.