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A 21 Year Old Sugar Baby: How to Do a Long Distance Sugar Relationship

Howdy, sugars! I’m a Southern sugar baby in a long distance sugar relationship with a sugar mama. Here’s a quick snapshot of my life and what I do as a long distance sugar baby.

I’m a freshly 21-year-old service dog trainer and student. I’m all Southern Belle through and through. But with an added edge of contemporary sophistication, which is why you can call me Joli.

My favorite things in the world are my dogs, books, and sweet tea. I have five dogs, actually. Most of them are rescues and only one of them is not a mixed breed.

I work a lot and go to school (future dual-degreed educator right here). So I spend all of my free time with my dogs or reading.

I’m actually shockingly extroverted, though, and love to be around my friends. It just so happens that I’m usually taking them to run errands with me. The five dogs, school, and crazy busy schedule is precisely why I ended up in the sugar baby line of work.

Why did you become a sugar baby?

I needed a way to be able to provide for all of my dogs while still having the time to take care of them and spend time with them. It was a really big issue in my life until I kind of stumbled upon my first sugar daddy by accident, and it was kind of the perfect solution.

This was five years ago now. So I only had two dogs at the time and I wasn’t working the amazing job I work now, which I got thanks to a different sugar daddy. But, over five years, being a sugar baby has remained my favorite way to make money and maintain mine and my doggies’ lifestyles.

That first sugar daddy was a wild ride. I was only 16, which is really young for this kind of arrangement. And I didn’t really know anything about the world. The one thing I think I really wish I would have been more aware of was what sort of things I wanted out of an arrangement.

Read: How to Set Sugar Baby Goals that Get You Everything You Want

My sugar daddy was a Southern gentleman with lots of charm and even more money. But he had a temper. And because it was a long distance sugar relationship, it was emotionally exhausting for me to maintain the relationship at times because of how often he would text me.

Read: 7 Sugar Baby Boundaries that Keep You Safe and Happy

Five years later, though, I’m aware of my parameters, how to ask for them, and how to tell when a potential daddy really has what I’m looking for or is just telling me what I want to hear.

Where and how did you meet your sugar daddy?

I’ve met all of my sugar daddies online. I use Seeking.com a lot but my long term sugar relationships that I found online – both actually came from SugarDaddie. It’s a lot easier to find less conventional sugar arrangements there because the user base is so huge.

I’ve had three long-term arrangements not including the one that I’m in now. They were all long distance. Because I live in a small southern town, arrangements are actually really hard to come by and to maintain discreetly, so a long distance sugar relationship has always made sense.

In my second arrangement, I never even met my daddy!

There were good and bad things about all of them, but I learned a lot during each arrangement.

My Current Sugar Mama

I’m currently in a long-term long distance sugar relationship with a woman (we can call her Max) and her husband (we can call him Francis). Max is a tall drink of water and we met while I was giving a seminar on emotional support animals at a hotel she was staying at.

We were both out of state for the weekend and I spent every moment I wasn’t speaking with her. We went on extravagant adventures, and she was so cool and down to earth that they never really felt like dates. Even when things got romantic at the end of the day.

She always tells me that what she liked most about me was that I was a young girl with the kind of confidence it took to speak in front of huge crowds. She also liked my compassion and love for animals.

I found out later that she runs a cat sanctuary and donates a lot of money to animal rescues. Max lives across the country, however, so we only meet around once every three months. In the meantime, we text, call, and write to each other.

She gives me a weekly allowance and surprises me occasionally with gifts from an Amazon wishlist that she and Francis encourage me to keep. I’ve only met Francis twice but he and I text and talk to each other on the phone a lot.

It’s less like polyamory and more like an open relationship where Francis encourages Max to have fun and explore her interests. They’re both really busy and important professionals way up there in the north, but I’m not really sure what they do. It’s one of the things they haven’t ever disclosed to me, which I’m fine with.

We’re two months away from our first “sugar anniversary”.

What’s your favorite thing about being a sugar baby?

All of my arrangements have been really different, but I think that my favorite thing about this lifestyle has to be the unique relationships that you form. I’m still friends with my second sugar daddy even though we’re no longer in an arrangement.

He has a new sugar baby now who lives closer to him and he tells me about their dates.

Max and Francis are some of the most unique and free-spirited people I have ever met. And everyone that I’ve had the great luck to meet in between has taught me a lot about myself and life in general, for which I’ll always be grateful.

Plus, I’m making money for what definitely does not feel like work! My dogs love their grain-free natural dog food and monthly subscriptions to doggy toy boxes, too.

How do you keep a Long Distance sugar relationship Interesting?

Maintaining a long distance sugar relationship can be a lot of work. I don’t always have my body or my looks to rely on. I have to be intuitive and pick up on mood changes over text or on the phone and be able to react to Max and Francis in the ways that they need.

While I like the arrangement because I have someone to go on amazing, expensive adventures with and who will take care of my dogs, I have to be aware of the fact that they need someone who has time for them when they know they don’t have time for me.

That means that I am often times playing the role of confidante, parent, and therapist for them in the blink of an eye.

So when things get too serious or too quiet, I like to try new things with them. I make different videos for them or send them handmade cards or drawings. I learned how to use photoshop (kind of) just to make them a bunch of photos of us traveling together once when they had to cancel a trip.

And I do little things like tell them that I snuck off at work to call them because I missed their voice when really I had the day off and have been in my bed all day reading.

I very seldom confide in them about things that go wrong in my life, unless I need to ask them for money. I always give them my best even when I don’t feel like it. So far, things have worked remarkably well and, honestly, with two “Sugar Parents,” life is rarely dull.

What advice do you have for new sugar babies?

I guess I would call myself a Sugar Grandma at this point. As I’m getting closer to graduating, I’m considering ending my Sugar Baby lifestyle for good. And I will miss it so much! That’s why I’m glad to have a place to be able to pass on my experience to new and aspiring sugar babies.

This lifestyle is fun. It’s different than anything else you will ever try in your life. And, if you know what you want and you’re selective about who you start relationships with, it will probably be one of the best times of your life.

Like anything else, though, the problem is always in settling. Don’t settle! Hitch your britches all the way up and settle down for the long haul. The best possible sugar arrangement is going to be so much more rewarding than the first available.


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