Let’s face it – most of us are going to be meeting potential sugar daddies online. So it’s crucial that you know how to tell if a sugar daddy is real online before you invest any of your time and energy into him.
It’s especially important because your time and energy might not be the only things at risk.
Bad sugar daddies come in many different forms. Some are sugar daddy scammers who will financially exploit you if you let them. And others? Well, they are just plain awful.
These are the guys get off on emotionally abusing you. They that think being a sugar daddy means having ultimate control of a sugar baby. They’re the ones who want to degrade and humiliate sugar babies. They are looking to feel big and powerful – all at your expense.
And the last thing you need, especially when you’re first starting out, is to allow yourself to get scammed or infected with a negative mindset. That’ll mess up your sugar game before you start, for sure.
So how do you steer clear of these bad sugar daddies and disinfect yourself of their negative energy? The first step is knowing how to identify them. Here are the 6 types of bad sugar daddies you may meet online and how to weed them out of your life quickly so you can pursue the good ones!
6 Types of Bad Sugar Daddies
We’ve all been there right? You’re happily going about your sugar baby business, chatting online to a few potential daddies and then you see it. The horrible insult, the long paragraph telling you that you’re a worthless so and so.
There are a lot of reasons sugar babies get online abuse, but none of them justify such childish and nasty messages that girls receive on a daily basis. It’s just plain wrong and, even though it shouldn’t, it quite often knocks a baby’s confidence.
The only good thing that can be said about these guys is that they are easy to spot. So easy that if you know what to look for, you can just block and delete them as soon as they show up in your inbox.
Bad Sugar Daddy #1. The Scammer
The very first thing you need to do is to quickly spot and weed out the most obvious and dangerous type of bad sugar daddy. Yup, we’re talking about the sugar daddy scammer.
Here’s how to quickly screen them out:
- Check his profile. Does he have a profile picture that looks like it’s straight out of a magazine or stock photo? That’s probably because it is. Use Google Reverse Image Search to see if the potential sugar daddy’s picture is real or not.
- Copy and paste. Is there are potential sugar daddy you met online who’s immediately proposing that you become his sugar baby? These sugar daddy scammers like to promise a big allowance immediately. Copy and paste the message into Google to see how many other victims they tried to scam.
- Do a quick video call. One of the easiest ways to immediately weed out sugar daddy scammer is to ask to do a video call. Scammers will come up with a dozen excuses why they can’t. The truth is that they can’t because they’re not who they say they are.
Just doing the above should weed out the sugar daddy scammers. Now let’s get to eliminating the rest of the bad sugar daddies.
Bad Sugar Daddy #2. The Disappointed Daddy
I think most sugar babies have encountered this kind of daddy. So you’ve spoken to this potential sugar daddy maybe a few times and you decided that you’re just not into him.
It happens, and that’s totally fine. Sometimes you just have to see if you click with someone.
Most of the time the sugar daddy in question will be disappointed, but they will ultimately leave you alone after that. They understand that they will have better luck elsewhere and move on without much incident.
However, there is always one guy. That one sugar daddy who takes your lack of interest as a personal attack. It doesn’t matter how nicely you word it, this kind of bad sugar daddy will over react.
Typical messages from this type of daddy tend to ramp up over time especially if you start ignoring them.
- Stage 1 is typically them trying to entice you back with promises of gifts or money.
- Stage 2 usually ends up as the insult stage. So queue being called various insults like a whore and pathetic and lazy.
- Stage 3 is excessive groveling and trying to win you back after you’ve been offended.
how to deal with this Bad Sugar Daddy
- Keep any responses short and polite. This applies no matter what he says to you. This will most likely push him very quickly through to stage 3.
- Don’t let his words hurt you. At the end of the day, you are an attractive and clever young woman no matter what any creep on the internet tries to tell you. Words can only hurt if you let them hurt. Repeat this short and sweet mantra: “Screw you, I’m awesome.”
- DO NOT EVER MEET UP WITH THIS DADDY. If he’s verbally abusing you online, it’s fairly safe to say that he would have no problem doing it (or worse) in person. Only sexist pricks bully and harass women online and do you really want any form of relationship like that? No.
- BLOCK HIM. This usually doesn’t have to happen because they will eventually get bored and leave you alone, but if you really can’t shake him then block away. That’s the beauty of the Internet, you can easily block the jerks out of your life and mind.
Bad Sugar Daddy #3. The Woman Hater
These guys are pretty easy to spot – cocky, self-important profile and an attitude to match. For some reason these guys tend to go for the women with pretty self-positive and friendly profiles just to then make them feel bad.
I have had this problem before.
I was once told by one man that I was a stupid bi*ch who would die without his help. Just FYI, it says on my profile that I speak several languages and am undergoing university education. But that didn’t seem to matter to this high school drop out and inheritor of family money because I am a woman.
How to Deal with this Bad Sugar Daddy
- Stop responding. While this will provoke some minor abuse for ignoring him, this sort of sugar daddy will get bored a lot faster and find someone else to bother.
- BLOCK. It’s such an easy thing to do. Just one click of a button! How wonderful!
- If you must…I find it pretty funny to humiliate men like this by trying to start conversations that are far beyond their understanding of the world. While this provides a good source of entertainment while reaffirming that I am an intelligent woman, it comes with the risk of angering the woman hating daddy. If you don’t want more abuse then don’t do this.
Bad Sugar Daddy #4. “Nobody Puts Daddy in a Corner” Daddy
We’ve all had the frantic, “Why are you ignoring me?!?!?!” message. Which is no surprise considering the most common type of bad sugar daddy you’ll meet online is the clingy, insecure and annoying one who goes from 0 to 100 on the insult factor if you fail to respond within 10 minutes of being sent a message.
I feel like this is something that every sugar baby experiences at some point in her sugar journey. You get a message…something along the lines of, “Hey beautiful , I’d love to get to know you better 😉” or something equally unoriginal and corny so you put your phone down or get distracted by something more interesting.
The next thing you know you’ve got around five more messages from the same guy telling you that you’re too ugly to get anyone to be your sugar daddy and to go die. Mature, right? Because such insecurity is going to suddenly make me wildly attracted to you, right? Wrong.
How to Deal with this Bad Sugar Daddy
- The block button is the way to go. I just block these outright. I have no more patience for men who can’t give a girl some room to breathe. It’s not cute and it’s a typical sign of a controlling and overly possessive daddy which is not what I’m about. You probably aren’t either. After all, these are the sorts of sugar daddies who believe you should be at their beck and call every single second for the amazing privilege of being their sugar babies. Pass.
- Reply with some really horrible excuse. “Hi, Sorry I was just bathing the kitten I just rescued. I should be taking him to the vet, but instead I’m replying to you so he might die.” This usually tends to send them backpedalling and stumbling to apologize for being a massive weirdo.
- Confront him. Tell him that what he did was not cool and that he should have more respect for himself and for women. This gets really tiring after a while, but who knows you might end up making a sugar daddy a better person.
Bad Sugar Daddy #5. The Straight Up Abusive Daddy
A cousin to the Woman Hater sugar daddy, this daddy will probably call you a whore in the first message and expect you to be all over him for it. I don’t get why guys think it’s cool and sexy to insult someone you’ve never met hoping that they will sleep with you.
In short, this is someone to avoid at all costs.
Like with the woman-hating sugar daddy, the Straight-up-douche will most likely be abusive in person so stay safe.
How to Deal with this Bad Sugar Daddy
- Say you’re not interested. Politely inform him that you don’t like the way he is speaking to you and therefore are not interested in having an arrangement with him.
- Respond in kind if you must. Insult him back. The chances are he won’t speak to you again after you’ve had the balls to stand up for yourself. But just so you can have the satisfaction of standing up for yourself and the pleasure of never hearing from that jerk again, immediately block him. Ah that magic little button!
Bad Sugar Daddy #6. The “Just Joking” Abuser
These sugar daddies are the hardest to spot. They usually seem pretty nice and friendly, but occasionally they will say something seriously off color and you will think…hang on, was that a joke or is he serious?
Of course he will decide if he’s joking based on if you found it offensive or not. This “humor” is just a veil for his true feelings. And really, is it worth it even if he is joking?
I certainly wouldn’t want to be in an arrangement with someone who jokes about abusing women!
How to Deal with this Bad Sugar Daddy
- Call him out. If he says something that you feel is abusive then challenge him. Make him explain how he thinks that it was funny to say something like that. This façade of a joke wears off pretty quickly and then you can uncover him for what he truly is.
- Stop talking to him. Girls, this guy is bad news! Stop. Talking. To. Him. Most of the time blocking this sort of bad daddy isn’t necessary – unless he turns into one of the other four mentioned in this article.
How to Tell if a Sugar Daddy is Real Online
Ultimately, the sugar dating world is like any other social scene: there’s good apples, apples you just aren’t attracted to, bad apples, and a few really stinky apples. The trick is to toss the bad and stinky apples away as quickly as you identify them so you have time for the good ones.
And speaking of the good ones, how can you tell if a sugar daddy is real online?
Here are some hints:
- He’ll talk to you on the phone. One of the quickest ways to find out if a sugar daddy you met online is real is to hop on the phone with him. Not just chat on WhatsApp or Hangouts. An actual phone call. This lets you get a feel for him really quickly. It also lets you weed out the scammers since they won’t be able to pull off a phone call.
- He asks you about yourself. A real sugar daddy wants to know about you because that’s how he’s going to know if he wants an arrangement with you! He’s not just going to go straight to talking about how he’s going to spoil you.
- A video chat isn’t off limits. A real sugar daddy will agree to a video chat. It lets him see you in real time. And he gets to prove himself to you as well. If a sugar daddy you met online doesn’t want to do even a quick video call, he’s most likely a scammer.
- He wants to meet. Sure, there may be online only sugar daddies. But most real sugar daddies want to meet their sugar babies. So it’s a good sign if he wants to arrange when and where to meet up.
Happy sugaring, girls and keep your head up!
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Ellie, aka Girl with the Red Hair. You can check out her sugar baby story here!