Many outsiders glibly assume that the sugar dynamic is a simple, crude interaction of money and sex. But insiders know better.
The sugar world and its relationships are as nuanced as, well, any relationships can be. And here’s a prime example of it: do you know what your sugar daddy really – I mean, REALLY – wants from you?
Salespeople will tell you there is always a reason why somebody wants to buy something – and then a reason behind that reason.
The buyer might not even be aware of it but it is there and it is powerful. I am certain this is true for sugar dating as well.
Why is your sugar daddy with you? There are the obvious reasons. The company of a beautiful woman, ego stroking, sex. All good and valid points for an arrangement. But he could get that from basically every sugar baby worth her salt. Why is he with YOU?
Sugar dating sites state that they have a lot more registered sugar babies than sugar daddies. I read somewhere that it’s a ratio of eight women to one guy! In real life, the numbers are most likely even higher.
So there’s a lot of competition out there. Which is why it becomes a lot more pertinent to know: what do you have to offer a potential sugar daddy that no other sugar baby can?
I don’t know a single single woman who would turn down a generous, attractive man. So, why is your sugar daddy with you? I believe the answer gives you vital information you can use to keep him happy. And – as we all know – happy sugar daddy, happy sugar baby.
Here are a few possible underlying reasons you’re sugar daddy chose you to be his sugar baby…
Let me give you an example of what this little something could be.
My sugar daddy and me spent a weekend in a beautiful little hotel. One morning over breakfast the owner told us that she and her family haven’t had a holiday in years because business wasn’t going great. She then went on about how she grew up in the hotel and expects to die there.
When we were alone my sugar daddy shook his head and said: “I don’t understand why she doesn’t sell the place. It’s a great location, she’d get two million for it for sure.”
He completely ignored how she felt about the hotel. It makes her happy to live there, even though it doesn’t make her rich. When I replied “She clearly loves this place. Not everything is about money” he gave me a long, quizzical look.
I was wondering if I had started to speak in tongues when he finally said: “Right. Not everything is about money. I tend to forget that.” And I understood my purpose in his life. He needs me and the way I live my life as a counterpart to his profit-oriented style. (Yes, I am aware of the irony that he is actually paying for my company…)
Another guy I have an arrangement with was even more clear about why he chooses to spend time with me. My profile states that I am an artist. Potential sugar daddies will get to know that I used to live in an ashram for a couple of years.
In short: My CV is not very normal. I am basically the opposite of someone with an MBA and a strategically planned career.
On our first date he told me he had wanted to be an artist his whole life – until he was grown up enough to be reasonable and think about a “real” career.
He likes to interrogate me about every aspect of my creative endeavors. He soaks up my stories about where I find inspiration like I do the sun after a long, hard and dark winter. Through me he feels re-connected to his own poetic side, like some sort of healthy secondhand smoke.
I quench his thirst for an artful life. I tell him about the things that are happening in my life. About the gallery owner who expressed interest in my work. I am specific right down to the woman’s blue nail polish.
That stipend I applied for and was rejected? It actually was awarded to my best friend. How does that make me feel? Proud and jealous in more or less equal parts. My sugar daddy does all but jot down notes when we are having these conversations.
Just as he introduced me to five star restaurants and limousines, I cut out a window into my world for him. I let him see the world through my eyes, let him sense it through my skin. And I take him with me to my favorite artists’ supply store – which is a win-win. He gets a strong dose of art and I get my shopping paid for.
I am not telling you all this because I want you to believe I am special. I am telling you so you start thinking about what it is your sugar daddy REALLY wants from you.
To use a business term: what is your USP, your Unique Selling Point? Be aware that this might be something different for every guy you meet. For one I am that strange creature that doesn’t think money equals happiness. The Bohemian for the next. And the redhead who prefers sneakers over high heels for yet another.
What do you have, know, do that other potential sugar babies don’t? Once you figured it out use that knowledge. Provide him with what he is longing for. He will stay with you and he won’t believe how lucky he was to find you, to pick you out of all the other women who wanted to be his sugar baby.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Steffi, aka The German Sugar Baby. You can check out her sugar baby story here!