Are you in the awkward position of finding yourself with an enamored sugar daddy who wants to be your boyfriend? First of all, props to you! You deserve a pat on the back! You have clearly outdone yourself because now your sugar daddy wants to be more than just your sugar daddy.
This has happened to me. My sugar daddy was not married; he was single, young and had a hard time dating because he was traveling every three days for work. Every time he would come to Atlanta, we would meet up for dinner or drinks.
It started out that way at least. Then, I would be in Florida visiting family and he would make a special trip to come and see me there – staying in a hotel nearby and taking me out occasionally. This continued for a couple of months, then he started asking me if I would like to fly to him.
The time we spent together was very romantic and I could tell he was starting to like me; he had tailored his business schedule for me, asked me to accompany him on cruises, and texted me daily with normal conversation.
One day, he sent me a text message saying, “I have a question” followed by “What are your feelings for me?”
My stomach kind of sank, in the back of my mind I knew this was coming, but I still didn’t know how to answer the question. I told him that I was unsure, but continued to talk daily. He kept trying making comments like “How are we going to tell people that we met?” (Didn’t exactly want to tell my family members that I met him on Seeking Arrangement.)
The more we talked, the more I started to develop feelings for him. And just like that, we started dating.
That being said, not all sugar babies want to start a relationship with their sugar daddy. My advice would be to set initial boundaries in a subtle way. There is a tag on Seeking Arrangement that says “monogamous” and “marriage minded” and I would definitely utilize those tags if you plan on trying to date your sugar daddy.
If you’re not, be upfront and put it in your bio that you aren’t looking to date anyone. The latter doesn’t mean that your Sugar Daddy will be willing to take that answer. He may still try to pursue you regardless of what you have previously said.
It’s important to analyze his situation. Is he married? Does he have children? You must realize that chances are, he’s seen you at your best and only your best. He probably hasn’t seen the side of you that is sometimes bitter and argumentative or in sweatpants with your hair in a knot. In his eyes, you are ideal.
After you have analyzed what you are working with, you can better develop your responses. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t like you, I’m just saying you should figure out what it is about you that he likes. If you ask him that and he says, “You’re always bubbly and have style” then you should make him realize that you aren’t always like that.
You don’t want your Sugar Daddy to be hurt and drop you because “you aren’t interested in him” if he actually doesn’t like you, but maybe just likes the idea of you. You just need to make him aware of what it is that he wants.
If he provides valid reasons for being interested in you, you need to be careful with what you say back but you also need to be honest. Tell him your reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship. If he doesn’t understand and is mean about it, then maybe it is time for you to find a new sugar daddy.
As a sugar baby, you don’t have time for hotheads or people that make you feel inferior for why you feel the way you do. Some sugar daddies will attempt to use their money as a reason why you should be with them, almost as if you owe them something. Always remember, you don’t owe anybody anything!
If you don’t want to be in a relationship with your sugar daddy, you need to be clear about that from the get-go. Honesty is always going to be key when handling these types of situations.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Stevie, aka The Sugar Daddy Whisperer. You can check out her sugar baby story here!