I’m a Sugar Baby But Want a Relationship with Someone Else

Life is funny. There you are, happy as a clam with your sugar arrangement and then along comes a cutie that leaves you wanting more. Yup, we’re talking a “real” relationship – one without the sugary benefits.

So here you are, wanting to enter a relationship but grappling with the fact that you…

  • Have no idea how to tell someone that you are a sugar baby
  • Don’t want to stop being a sugar baby
  • Want to pull your hair out because you have no idea what to do

All of the above are understandable and hopefully when you’re finished reading this, you’ll have a better sense of how to handle the situation!

Maybe you came across someone by chance, maybe you’ve known them a long time, or maybe your friend introduced you to them. Whatever the case may be, you now have talked to them for a few days or even a couple of weeks and you’re starting to catch feelings.

You’re probably nervous because you carry around expensive handbags, have your nails constantly done, and dress in designer clothes or maybe you don’t do any of those things, but you have your bills or college tuition paid and how on earth are you supposed to tell this person that you like about all of this?

Your crush clearly sees that you have it all together and what are you supposed to do… give it all up so your crush doesn’t find out? No way! (Unless you want to of course.)

But for the mass majority of us, losing our “sugar baby” status would be detrimental in some way. The money that you are collecting is going somewhere.

Unfortunately, you can’t live your entire relationship based on a lie saying the extra money is coming from “work bonuses.” This leaves you with one option, being honest.

This may seem like a terrible idea at first because you likely have just about no idea how they will react, but you need to if you want your personal relationship to work.

This doesn’t mean on the first date you blurt out “I am a sugar baby! Is that okay!?” But after a few dates, a few long phone calls, and some text messages, it is time to fess up. You don’t have to be 100% upfront about what you do, but you should give them the gist of it.

Maybe something like this: “Hey, I know we have been getting to know each other for some time now and I feel like it is important that we are both honest with each other from the start. I have a side (or full-time) job where I (insert what it is that you do loosely here).

Be upfront and welcoming to any questions your crush may have and do your best to be understanding.

They may not have the initial reaction of “Oh, okay, that’s great!” They may be hurt, confused, or just need time to process what it is that you’re saying. What you need to realize is that it is perfectly acceptable for them to need some time, but by you being there and being open, they will probably be more accepting than they would if you started to act standoffish or offended.

If your goal is to continue being a sugar baby, don’t sugar coat it. Tell them whether you feel being a sugar baby is temporary or permanent. If it pays for your tuition, tell them! If it pays for your nails to be done every other week, tell them!

The more you tell them upfront, the less it leaves for interpretation later. Who knows, maybe this person will offer to pick up the tab for small things so you can cut back but don’t expect them to write out a check for some large sum of money just because you want the latest Gucci handbag.

Explain to them that what you do is a job just like any other. Don’t let them knock down your feelings or be hard on you. You are doing what you do as a sugar baby because you enjoy what you get out of it and nobody can take that away from you.

If someone is going to cut you down because of it, is that the type of person you want to be with anyway? During these moments, you will learn a lot about the person you have a crush on… probably more than you would’ve learned if you weren’t a sugar baby. See this as an opportunity to see someone’s true character, rather than seeing it as a battle.

Best of luck!

This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Stevie, aka The Sugar Daddy Whisperer. You can check out her sugar baby story here!

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