There’s a point in every sugar baby’s journey when you look back on past sugar dates and arrangements and think, “If only I knew what I know now…”
And, of course, there’s no going back for the experienced sugar baby but what we can do is impart the hard lessons we’ve learned along the way so that new sugar babies don’t have to fall over the same stepping stones.
So without further ado, here’s 5 things experienced sugar babies wish they’d known when they were first starting out!
It’s easy to be intimidated when you’re first venturing into the sugar world. After all, the men you’re suddenly meeting are unlike the young boys you’ve experienced thus far.
Sugar daddies are educated. They’re polished. They’re well-traveled. Not to mention cultured, wealthy, and experienced in a whole lot of things that you aren’t.
But as Chantelle, aka The West Coast Princess, realized – sugar babies hold a lot of power, too. Sure, the sugar daddy has a lot of things you want but guess what? You also have a whole lot of things that he wants!
So understand that you also carry a lot of leverage and don’t just agree to a sugar daddy’s high standards and requirements without asserting your own needs and desires. Be confident asking for what you want and firm in clarifying what you are and aren’t comfortable doing. It may be intimidating at first, but it’ll lead to a better arrangement.
There are so many new sugar babies stepping into the sugar world with some vague ideas of Chanel purses and Louboutins and dolla dolla bills.
But when a potential sugar daddy asks them what they want, they stammer out some weak answer like “gifts and stuff?”
This does not go well. Especially since there are fake sugar daddies who’ll gloss over the gifts and allowance part until you’re already in a full blown arrangement with him…without any benefits for you. And plenty of potential sugar daddies feel uncomfortable talking about the “money” topic so will wait for you to bring it up.
So be ready to bring it up. Hattie, aka The Mature Babe, realized this well after she was already in the sugar dating world. And wished that she would’ve prepped herself to deal with the financial before meeting.
Sure, it’s uncomfortable. But you know what’s worse? Wasting months and months of your time on arrangements that don’t come with actual benefits.
The unfortunate truth about the sugar world is that it draws a lot of jerks. Georgina, aka Quirky Fashionista, quickly realized that ghosting is a common phenomenon with sugar daddies and also quickly realized that it’s a waste of time to lament your loss or try to rope a ghoster back in.
But ghosting isn’t the worst of it. MJ, aka Sugar Baby Mrs., learned that you better be prepared to have thick skin when diving into the sugar world. There are rude and degrading men out there who can respond in mean, derogatory ways when they don’t get their way.
At the same time, though, she also learned that there are plenty of sweet and amazing men in the sugar world that balance things out.
And for the ones that truly suck? Ellie, aka Girl with the Red Hair, quickly learned not to get upset by disrespect and misogyny…especially when you can just brush it off and hit the block button!
…And that includes finding a sugar daddy. There’s this assumption by newbie sugar daddies that they’ll simply set up a profile and then have a sugar daddy in a few days.
But when you’ve been sugar dating awhile, you know how laughably untrue this is.
The fact is – it can take months to find a real sugar daddy. Noelle, aka The Different One, found this out the hard way. She was thinking she’d by a sugar daddy by the end of the week but it actually took 2 months to finally get and meet up with her first sugar daddy.
The one thing you hear from experienced sugar babies time and time again is this: a real sugar arrangement is about a lot more than simply sex or money. As with all human relationships, it boils down to connection.
Lindsey, aka Miss Independent, says she wishes she had known that successful sugar relationships are built on a connection, not on sex. If your daddies don’t care about you as a person, the relationship and benefits won’t be as stable.
Aly, aka The Travelholic Sugar Baby, agrees: Basing it on sex might mean meeting up once or twice but basing it on a connection leads to something long term and much better benefits.
And Noelle says it’s not about money, either. Sure, that may be the original motivator for sugar babies but she’s noticed that the more time she spends with her sugar daddy, the more you connect with and understand each other until you eventually find yourself in a friendship/relationship.
The media may paint sugar dating with a simplistic sex-and-money stroke, but take it from actual sugar babies: connection matters most.