If there’s one thing every seasoned sugar baby knows, it’s that the sugar world has many ways of catching you off guard. And of all these various curveballs thrown at you, none are so commonplace as the odd questions that sugar daddies like to bring up out of left field.
Whether it’s your first date or weeks in with your sugar daddy, I’ve learned through many experiences that daddies can be very straightforward with questions that make me go, “Woah, did he seriously just ask that?”
It’s all but guaranteed that you’ll have these moments, too. So here’s a little list of all the oddest questions that have been spit out at me – and the best ways to respond – so that you’re not taken off your game when the same questions are sprung on you.
This one never fails to be asked, I have not ever had a sugar daddy not ask me this. It may be because as men they’re curious, they want to ask about your sexuality in a “secretive” way, or they’re just checking to see if there’s a chance they may get to experience this with you in the future.
I’ve told the truth every time before and said I have been with girls in the past but not in an intimate way, this is because I identify as bisexual and I’ve dated girls, we just never got onto an intimate level.
The reactions that I got from every daddy is that they were confused. It seems that older men may not understand or be on the same level of open sexualities in general.
They ask me “what do you mean you’ve been with a girl then?” It seems like they only perceive being with a girl as in “only being intimate in the bedroom and nothing more”, like if I just like being with girls for the fun of it.
If you also have a nuanced answer and want to explain yourself, that’s fine. But also know that your sexuality is your confidentiality, no matter if you are out or not. If you do not feel safe telling your sugar daddy about who you have been with, you do not owe anything to anyone.
How to answer: A sugar daddy may be generally interested just to get to know you and your preferences better. Or he may be curious about a threesome and wondering if you’d be interested. Or he may just be trying to get an idea of your ‘kink’ level.
Whatever it is, answer based on how comfortable you feel with the sugar daddy. If you’ve been dating for awhile and you feel safe, go ahead and answer. But if it’s some POT you just started chatting with on a sugar daddy site and you don’t feel comfortable discussing it, just brush it off with a joking, “a lady doesn’t kiss and tell” or a more pointed “pretty intimate question, huh? you’ll have to take me to dinner first.”
Woah, I know right? It all seems wayyyy too soon and suddenly he’s planning his future with you. I had a sugar daddy ask me this on the first day we were texting, before we even met!
To add on to the crazy he specifically asked if I would marry him in the future and move in together.
This is not what I’m looking for, so I ran the other way.
Just keep in mind there are some sugar daddies out there with very specific connections they are looking for in an arrangement. Some are looking to build a full time relationship. Some want an arrangement that can lead to marriage. And some are even looking for live-in housewives and caretakers for their children.
The sugar world is a motley of various motivations so be sure you know what you are looking for.
How to answer: The smartest thing you can do as a sugar baby is to know what YOU are looking for in an arrangement and stick to it. If you think you can fake play out a relationship just for the allowance, it’s not worth it.
Be gentle but firm if and when a sugar daddy asks for more than you’re willing to give – say, marriage. A kind, “at this stage in my life, that’s not the arrangement I’m looking for” should suffice.
Continuing with the sugar daddies that are looking for more commitment in an arrangement, not every daddy will have the same rules, the more dates you’ll go on, the more you’ll find some are more possessive than others.
Some will want you to not see any other daddies, not have a boyfriend, make your plans around them and some will let you live your life however as long as you can meet up with them.
This question is a huge thinker, don’t say yes right away cause you think he’s saying he’s generous and will take care of everything.
Instead ask yourself some questions: How long have you been with him? Do you trust him enough?
When I personally got asked this question, I told him that this is not just a simple yes or no thing, a job secures me with a paycheck no matter what, if I drop everything for him and god forbid he disappears, I’m left with zero income. I said we can see how our relationship flourishes and go from there.
A huge red flag for me was when agreed to do pay per date, I asked for a very reasonable amount, an amount that doesn’t even pay 3/4th’s of my rent, and he said that was too much and low balled me.
I knew that if he thought that was high, how the heck could I expect him to take care of my finances if I quit my job for him. Give this questions lots of time and get a feel of his personality before you dive into saying yes.
How to answer: Honestly, some sugar daddies don’t consider how much they’re actually asking for. And in these cases, it can be up to you to remind them that you matter in this equation too.
Remind your sugar daddy that your job provides insurance, work experience and a stable paycheck – and gently wonder aloud if your sugar daddy would be able to provide that in lieu of your job. He should get it.
If your sugar daddy isn’t asking for too much of your time but seems to want to make sure you’ll be available to him when he wants to spend time with you – i.e. he needs a flexible schedule – let him know that he’ll be a top priority and propose that you try it out (so you can also get a better sense of who he is and what he is ready and willing to provide) before you make any actual decisions.
But all in all, we really advise sugar babies to keep their jobs.
This is a very typical question but it can make any baby nervous on how to answer this because you want to win this potential daddy over. You’re thinking “what are the right words to say?”, “what can I say to reel him in?”
We’re mainly on here to be spoiled by money, getting our rent and tuition paid, a little shopping money or dining at fancy places. Sugar daddies can do all of that on their own.
How do you give something to someone who can buy everything on their own? As much as you love getting spoiled, daddies love being spoiled too! Don’t think that spoiling them has to be the same, this really depends on what they are looking for, give their profile another read through before you go on that first date.
Did it say they enjoy hikes and trying new restaurants? You can bring up their interests and say you two can explore the outdoors together, say you love food and that you’d love to accompany him to these new places he has on his mind.
How to answer: Keep an open mind of what he likes and use those to your advantage. Of course most daddies look for intimacy as well and that make be a little nerve wracking to say, especially in public, you can give a hint to that and say “along with going outside for dates, I don’t mind chiller dates where we can stay in and watch a movie”, believe me he’ll get the hint.
They wonder as well if you’re sneaking around and if you two have to be cautious and it may be a sense of pride that you’re looking to depend on another man while you’re with another man or it even could be that they don’t want to be sneaking around with a girl who is seeing someone.
I’ve been honest every time and said I’m not seeing anyone, I just don’t have the time to with my lifestyle. I balance work, full time school and my photography, music and acting. I have time for an arrangement and that’s about it.
How to answer: I can’t speak for you on what you’d like to do and what situation you’re put in. If you’re in a relationship, you probably have to hide an arrangement, it really is up to you if you would like to be honest or if you’d like to tell a little white lie.
As you can tell some questions that could be asked are very forward, I hope these can better prepare you for some extremes to be expected and to make you remember to think things through before you speak.
Just remember: The most important thing is to stay true to what you are looking for! You’ll actually find a better arrangement – one that actually suits you and meets your needs – this way.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Noelle, aka The Different One. You can check out her sugar baby story here!