Everyone has boundaries. It’s one of the things that inevitably comes with being a human being, and keeping strict to your boundaries can be a very hard skill to master.
However difficult, boundaries become imperative when you’re a sugar baby.
It can be easy to find yourself in situations that may be hard to read, especially if you’re a person that has trouble laying out your boundaries in personal life.
I decided to list a few key boundaries that I’ve learned to stick whenever involving myself with a sugar daddy or mommy. These boundaries were formed from my own experience, research and mistakes so they may be different from yours.
But the idea remains the same – set your boundaries and stick to them. They’ll keep you safe as you traverse through the sugar world.
Show Me the Money
If that sounds a bit blunt, it’s because waffling on this issue can often lead to you wasting your time and energy for nothing. This boundary is simply about making sure full payment is visible somewhere upon arrival. This does not apply to initial encounters, as some sugar parents compensate for those while others do not.
Personally, I am most comfortable when transactional items are present at the time of our meeting, whatever the medium of said items may be. This has become one of my biggest tools in keeping myself safe, but I have also had to reiterate this many times.
If you are going to adopt this boundary, no matter the medium of your transaction, especially in the beginning, it’s important that the mutualism is fair and everyone is comfortable. This boundary, if respected, only helps secure the comfortability of both parties involved.
A sugar daddy or mommy that has true intentions of gifting you should not be put off by this. It can be uncomfortable, as some sugar daddies and mommies are not too keen on transactional talk, but it becomes necessary when talking about something so serious: your time!
First Name Basis
The issue of how much personal information to reveal to a sugar daddy is the topic of ongoing debate but I prefer to err on the side of caution.
Which is why I’d strongly advise: Never give out more than your first name to a potential sugar daddy or mommy. If you have an Internet profile, you’re in even better shape! Use the username for that account instead of your first name; an extra layer of protection!
Don’t get me wrong, when you and your sugar parent establish a legitimate relationship, you can go further than this. Note that I said ‘potential’ sugar daddy.
But it is important that before that point you keep in mind that not everyone’s intentions are true, and also, not every arrangement will be a direct fit. Before you find out either of those things, keep your personal info in your back pocket.
Past that point, what you disclose is 100% to your discretion, but it’s easiest to avoid any exchange of personal information until you know the relationship is legitimate. Unfortunately, there is a myriad of sugar parents who have no intentions of paying, just getting “paid.” Which leads me to my next boundary…
Trust Me
They are forever lingering: the random posts stating that there are no jokes – just need someone with a nice smile that would like an extra $500 for their Friday plans. That’s all good and fine if that were really the case, which it never is.
When the sugar parent requests a username and password to be able to deposit money into the account, this is not legitimate. In fact, it’s a straight up sugar daddy scam.
There is a myriad of cover stories for this, a common one being that the information is “needed to add you to their payroll so you can be automatically paid weekly through their business.” I’ve come across this at least 4 times.
Through a good 45 minutes of research, I found (from all different angles) that no matter the circumstances, money can be deposited into your account with only your account and routing number.
In no circumstances should a sugar parent need more than this!
The language on which types of opportunities to be wary of will start to be more familiar. Another simple scam to be wary of is sugar parents that ask for gift cards of any type. I’m still not 100% sure the inner workings of this scam, but I do know the important part; it’s a scam!
When first sugaring, it can be difficult to know what works for you. There are comfort levels that have to be explored, and every relationship moves at a different pace.
None of these factors go unnoticed, and they shouldn’t! Be proud that you have boundaries that you can stick to no matter who pushes them.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Alexxa, aka The Smart Sugar Baby. You can check out her sugar baby story here!
I couldn’t name how many SBs I’ve met that have been scammed. The “I will give you a check” that bounces scam. The “I am 25 and my family is rich” scam. The “Yeah, I live with my parents and I am missing a hubcap on my Camry, but trust me, I’m rich”.
SDs can be scammed too. Using blackmail against wives, taking but never giving, disappear with a month’s allowance. There are male and female criminals contaminating the dating pool. Many women are desperate, but really, they don’t have a lot of money. The SDs are the jackpots for the scammers if they can get through their security.
When I meet someone, I am constantly going through my mind, “Can I trust her?” If I have any doubts, it will not move forward. Until I have decided I can trust her, I don’t tell her my last name, the name of my company, where I live, and I sure won’t sleep with her.
But once I have decided I can trust her, then I tell her everything and I expect the same in order to have an honest and open relationship.