There comes a time in every sugar baby’s life where the once ever-interested sugar daddy becomes really, really busy. Busy with everything else but you.
The worst thing about this is that oftentimes, it comes out of the blue. Everything will be going great with your sugar daddy. It’s been months in and you two have worked out the perfect scheduling for each other and enjoy each others companionship. You locked down the perfect daddy and all seems great in paradise.
The last date went great but then, on this date you’re asking yourself if he’s acting a little odd, like he’s not himself and distancing himself from you. And then maybe you two don’t even make it to that next date and he starts replying to your texts slower than usual and changing scheduled dates last minute.
What do you do? Well, it depends. But here’s what I’ve learned from dealing with busier-than-thou sugar daddies for years!
The very first, almost instinctual reaction will be to panic. Your mind WILL start racing and start to assume things, “Has he lost interest in me?” “Is this arrangement coming to an end?” “Am I asking too much out of him?” and a whole host of self-critical, doubt-filled, panicky and unhelpful questions.
It’s perfectly fine to have these thoughts. It’s normal. You’re depending on an allowance from him to get yourself by and it’s a little scary when the stability is threatened.
If you ask him about it, he’ll most likely apologize and say he’s “busy with work” and either go in-depth or not. Either way, whatever explanation or excuse he gives you, the best thing for you to do is to keep calm and be an understanding sugar baby (or at least show the appearance of being one). And that means to just believe him and tell him you understand. It also doesn’t hurt to ask him if there’s anything you can do to help.
What you shouldn’t do is accuse him of lying, ask why or make it about you, the last thing the arrangement needs is drama, especially when your daddy is busy enough that he can step away from you any time. Pushing him into a corner when he already has a lot on his plate is pretty much guaranteed to backfire.
Give him the space he needs, trust that you are on his mind and he will come around.
Editor’s note: Honestly, we think trust is great but planning is even better. This is why we absolutely advise all sugar babies to save up an emergency fund, even starting from the first allowance check. Having a little nest cushion to fall back on definitely alleviates the stress you feel from potentially losing a sugar daddy.
Another smart but often overlooked tip is to always be on the hunt. It can seem pointless, especially if you’ve been with a sugar daddy who doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere soon – but in cases like this, it really helps to know you have options.
Your sugar daddy getting really, really busy is one thing – but what about the allowance? There’s a big difference between being with a sugar daddy who’s busy and still providing you an allowance and one that’s busy and not taking care of you at all.
Scenario #1. Busy, but with allowance
Let’s say it’s been a few weeks maybe even a month and you two have only seen each other once or communicated a couple times but he’s still giving you an allowance. Great! You know he is still hooked on you and thinking about your well being. It’s a kind gesture of him saying “I’m sorry that I’m so busy but I promise I will see you soon.”
Make sure to let him know that you appreciate him as well. Gauge how much communication he wants while he’s busy with his work, maybe he wants to text and call more because he can’t meet up with you, maybe he’s too busy to check his phone and a simple “Hope your week is going well, been thinking about you and I hope you’re not working too hard!” is enough for him to look at his phone and have something to smile about.
In the case of a busy sugar daddy who’s still upholding his part of the deal – you should also be upholding yours by being a supportive, understanding, happy and fun sugar baby.
Scenario #2. Busy, and with no allowance
But what if it’s been weeks and he seems to be getting a little more distant and you’re not seeing an allowance. Is he going to be a poof daddy and disappear? Does he want to end the arrangement? Does he just want space and to pick up from where you guys left off when he’s not busy? But how long would that be? You feel your bank account hurting and you’re not sure if you should move on or be patient.
From personal experience, I would say be both. Be patient but always anticipate moving on. If you feel the end of an arrangement coming, you’ll know. But I’ve also had experiences where my sugar daddy poof-ed and months later I get a surprise text from them!
Shoot your daddy a text at the end of a week and ask how everything is going, gauge it from there, does he say “Busy week, let’s talk next week”, or does he give you the cold shoulder?
Be patient and give him time, check up on him at the end of every week but it also doesn’t hurt to start searching on sites again, that way you’re a little more financially steady if the arrangement does come to an end.
Editor’s note: It’s one thing to be busy and it’s quite another to completely bail on the sugar daddy side of the arrangement. Once a sugar daddy has claimed extreme business and stopped sending an allowance, your best bet is to dust yourself off and start looking for a new sugar daddy.
That doesn’t mean sending mean text messages to the one who got “really busy” or burning any bridges – just back off and start focusing entirely on your needs. There’s no need to put yourself out for a sugar daddy who dropped you as soon as he got busy.
So what can you do when your schedule frees up because your daddy is busy? I’ll have to change plans with my friends or even say no to things I’m invited for because I’ve already agreed to spend that day or time slot with my sugar daddy and then for them to cancel really sucks.
To prevent this from happening, it’s always good to reach out to your sugar daddy a few days ahead of time and ask if plans are still on but I’ve had many times where they’re so busy with work and their life that they will not know until the day of.
So you keep your schedule open for them and find out last minute of that day that they can not meet up. I’ve had times where he’ll say “let’s reschedule for next week” and I’ve had times where they say “I’ll be busy for a couple weeks”.
It’s unpredictable when he’ll be free again for you but just remember that he is a busy man with work and the best thing to do is to be polite, respectful and supportive. Inside you may be a little upset but do not reflect that upon him.
He’ll appreciate your patience and understanding more than you sending him a flurry of texts asking “why” and starting unnecessary drama.
Instead, use this time to be creative! You can plan something fun for the next date that you and your sugar daddy go on, things to see, restaurants he’s been meaning to try. Do you have homework to catch up on or do ahead of time? Hobbies you forgot because you’ve been so busy?
Either situation, look at it as a positive opportunity to better yourself or to realize that it’s time to move on and start fresh. And don’t stress – it causes wrinkles.
This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Noelle, aka The Different One. You can check out her sugar baby story here!