5 Things Not to Say On Your First Sugar Date

By Caitlin

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You landed your first date with a potential sugar daddy! Yay! The search may possibly end and you can start building up a relationship with this sugar daddy.

It’s your very first sugar date, you’re undoubtedly nervous and you have your fingers crossed that everything will go right and that he enjoys your personality just as much as he enjoys your looks. And of course, you have a whole bunch of questions about what to expect and how you should prepare.

One of the things that will come up? I promise you each and every sugar daddy will pop out that vague and open-ended “so tell me about you” question.

What a vague question, I could spill you my life story or I could tell you about my dog. Of course, you shouldn’t spill your life story, you don’t want him running for the hills on your first date.

In general, you want to keep it light and sell yourself to him on how great you are without coming off like a pushy salesperson. A smart way to do this is to look for similarities you saw on his page you could relate to. Hobbies are a great place to start. Do you both like skiing? Hiking? Travel destinations?

But just as important as knowing the right things to say is to avoid the wrong things to say. Here’s a few big no-no’s you definitely don’t want to end up talking about on your first sugar date!

No sob stories

This one is so very important that it must be repeated twice: NO sob stories. Sad tales of woe never make for good first date banter and no sugar daddy will find this sexy, desirable or something they want from a potential sugar baby.

This includes discussing your financial problems. Yes, it’s great to discuss what your budget is and what you’re looking for but don’t try to sound like you’re broke and make him feel sympathetic to help you.

This should not be the candlelit dinner equivalent of panhandling. You two have already agreed to meet up for mutual reasons, let your personality and future goals do the talking.  There are much better, more clever ways to wheedle the allowance you want out of him.



Don’t dig into his personal life

The reason he is looking for an arrangement is to escape from his regular life. He wants to focus on you, feeling like he’s young again, he wants a distraction from whatever else is going on at work or home life. If he mentions that he’s divorced and has kids, don’t ask him why the marriage didn’t work out and what his kids names are. It may seem thoughtful that you’re asking about his family but a first date is not the right time for that.

On a related note, this is also not the right time to relate to him in these matters. If he mentions he’s going through a divorce – just nod sympathetically until you can turn the conversation to lighter, more fun and connected matters. Do not use the opportunity to talk about how your own parents’ divorce affected you.

Don’t be a phone addict

One thing you don’t want to be constantly saying on your first sugar date? “I’m just gonna check my phone real quick.”

I get it, we’re in a current time where we get distracted easily and you see your phone light up and you really want to check what your friend just tagged you in on Facebook, you want to Snapchat the nice meal you’re having.

Remember a first date is where a daddy forms the biggest impressions of you. He might think you being on your phone is disrespectful or that he’s boring you. He might think that you checking your phone might be a constant thing and he’ll think about if that’s what will keep happening on every date.

If you really need to check your phone, excuse yourself to the restroom and present yourself as professional as you can.

Don’t ask how much he makes

I get it, if he has more money it means he has a bigger budget to spoil you more or give you a bigger allowance. What he makes is personal information. I’ve never had any daddy tell me what they make but they will talk about their successes of different businesses they run, how much they travel, what their job is and you’ll be able to get a feel of what their figures are.

For example I’ve had a daddy who ran an event center that did fairly well but he’s no millionaire but he has a little extra to spend. I’ve also had a daddy who was a successful lawyer dealing with top cases and loved showing off his Mercedes, of course he has a bigger budget.

Don’t try to take advantage but take it into consideration when you ask for an allowance. If this daddy has already agreed to meet up on a first date with you, he’s somewhat interested and a first date is the perfect time to negotiate what kind of allowance you’re looking for. Ask for your budget, not what’s in his bank.

Discretion really matters

And one way to display that you understand the importance of being discreet is to choose your words carefully when you’re in a public location.

This is huge on a first date because you two are getting to know each other and asking each other a ton of questions. Most likely you’ll meet him in a busy, public place like a coffee shop or restaurant and you don’t want to throw around words that put attention on you.

Find a nice quiet spot in the corner so you won’t have to be shouting at each other. An example of being discreet with your conversations is talking about where you two met. There has never been a first date that has failed to ask me why I joined a sugar dating website, it’s okay to ask him the same question as well.

Of course you don’t want to say “Why did you join (insert sugar dating website)?” or “why were you looking for a sugar baby?”

Keep it simple, he’ll understand right away if you word things like “what made you join the website?”, “what were you looking for in an arrangement?”

Talking about an allowance could raise some flags too if you’re throwing big numbers in the hundreds and thousands out there. You can either be a little more hushed discussing it and not mention the word of allowance, instead ask “what’s your budget? Are you thinking per meet, bi-weekly, monthly?” these words don’t raise quite an alarm if someone is sitting next to you.

On a related note, be mindful of how your sugar daddy reacts to the conversation and the surroundings. If he seems visibly nervous or uncomfortable whenever you bring up the topic of allowance, it may not be that he’s reluctant to provide one – it could just be that he would prefer to discuss these matters in a more private setting.

In those cases, just smile and say something like “how about we talk about this later, over the phone?” And then steer the conversation to where your sugar daddy is comfortable and happy.

These little things matter and potential sugar daddies will pick up on them. And if you’ve impressed them – in our experience – an arrangement usually follows pretty quickly.

This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Noelle, aka The Different One. You can check out her sugar baby story here!

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