Hello alł sugar babes. I’m not the average sugar baby – I’m single and 56 years old, and live alone in the UK.
I’ve had a good career, amazing children and disastrous marriages followed by endless searching and dating from general online dating websites.
In the process, I’ve kissed an enormous amount of frogs and experienced some dire dates. I want to share a little insight from my experiences in this bizarrely fun world of sugar dating.
My unique experience is that I made ‘sugar’ entirely work for me and not the man. I made my list of rules – I made a list of what I wanted out of it and just as importantly what I didn’t want. The list is endless but really it’s all about protecting me as there’s no way I want to get hurt in this.
A mature woman can offer a lot that a younger woman cannot (no disrespect). A mature woman can learn too from all the experience she has had along the way and then provide a perfect scenario for her gent. So for example, when they first contact me and tell me they are married, my reply is always “that’s your business…not mine.”
I never ask any questions about their home life, wife, children (I don’t need that knowledge in my head) and I never initiate contact in any form. I reply only when they contact me. I make sure they know I will never be any threat to them – their home or work life – and this discretion and trust seems to be very important to SDs.
By making the SD feel safe and comfortable, he gets everything he wants without any ‘hassle’ at all and that’s really what they want – a no hassle relationship. In return, he will wine, dine, give quite generously. I never ask for anything but in general conversation I will casually drop out things I particularly like doing, which for me are spa days, pampering, treatments. If he’s a good SD sure enough these things will be freely given and I, for my part, remember to be full of surprise and gratitude within the realms of a mature woman.
I came to realise I needed to be more in control. I needed to be able find a different kind of ‘relationship’ where I would achieve the satisfaction I needed – financially, sexually, and emotionally. A relationship with the right amount of wining, dining, and companionship but most importantly without having my heart broken and continually being treated like ‘garbage.’
My surfing around the net led me to discover the sugar babe world and I realised how different this world is and how much more secure for me.
My only goals were to have a little company, be taken to some nice places, to receive a financial reward for my time, and to achieve this within my own rules – albeit whilst the SD felt he held control.
I wish I had been able to deal with the ‘finance’ before meeting, at least partially. It was the one subject I didn’t know how to approach before nor even at the first meeting and a subject the POT equally wanted to avoid.
Editor’s note: A lot – seriously, A LOT – of sugar babies feel this way. Which is unfortunate because this is one of the biggest perks of being a sugar baby! Luckily, we’ve got a wealth of articles on negotiating the ins and outs of allowance!
I met my sugar daddies on Seeking Arrangement.
This site lends itself to the more ‘business like’ agreement, with each party drawing up an agreement, boundaries laid out and rules agreed upon, which suited my lifestyle.
Seeking Arrangements is one of the most popular sugar dating websites but it’s certainly not the only one. Check out our reviews for the best sugar daddy websites!
Rather than going for a long descriptive profile, I opted for something short – sweet and to the point, but still something catchy so if they wanted to ask more and they were genuinely interested, they would ask.
This approach worked for me as there are only limited men who are interested in a mature woman.
My favourite thing about being a sugar babe – I love the whole anticipation, the getting ready, the dressing in nice clothes and dressing with an aim to please as men are such visual creatures.
I love being on the arm of a well dressed gent who has a certain ‘air’ about him, knows how to treat a woman with respect and has a glint of ‘desire’ in his eyes.
I also love the appreciation, the rewards and the gifts that my SD is ready to bestow.
To keep it spicy and interesting , I never throw all the eggs in the basket at once. I keep lots in reserve – find a ‘hook’ into the SD sexuality and run with it. I keep the wording in texts seductive and enticing with the promise of more. All of this creates another visual scenario in his imagination.
Never let it become mundane or boring.
To make it unique I find a ‘hook’ and slowly reel the guy in by short emails, keeping the ‘hook’ going, growing and expanding, suggestive and enticing. Whilst being in an arrangement I have always kept my own life going but completely separate. I never talk about it unless asked and then I keep it short and sweet, just enough to make it intriguing and keep some mystery.
Each guy is different and sometimes it can be hard to find a way in. Often guys who are interested in a mature woman are around the same age and they just want a little down time.
My SD have all been married so I read as much as I could on SDs and affairs and I put it all together, creating something desirable – an escape, an alternative from their everyday life.
A favourite ‘hook’ that I have found most successful is along the lines of ‘tantra’ – study this art and lure him in. Do it right and you’ll find the poor guy will be putty in your hands.
My advice is to do your research and keep on researching – keep him hooked and he will fall over himself with gratitude and appreciation but keep your heart locked away and don’t get emotionally close.
At all times keep yourself safe.
And take it for what it is – fun. But make sure you get what you need from it.
Most of all…enjoy.