3 Sugar Baby Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (But You Don’t Have To)

By Caitlin


There are times where I stop and look back on this crazy sugar dating journey that I’ve been on and continue to be on. I think about how content I am with my current arrangement and how much trials and tribulations it took me to get to where I am.

I’ve only been a sugar baby for a little over a year but I’ve learned a few things the hard way that I wish I was told in the beginning! They certainly would’ve kept me sane and even hopeful, especially when things got bad.

So here are 3 things I absolutely wish I’d known when first starting out!

It takes time…

Dreaming of putting up a profile on a sugar daddy website and then catapulting yourself to riches and luxury? Sorry to disappoint you but if you expect immediate gratification in the sugar world, you’ll find yourself sorely disappointed.

The sugar snowball takes its sweet time to get rolling.

So don’t expect a large sum of money right away. You’re on your first or maybe even third date and you’re thinking “when will I start seeing money come in?” I remember before I started, as I was drowning in money problems, I was thinking “don’t worry my sugar daddy will take care of it.”

Sadly, that’s not how it works. You don’t just meet someone and suddenly have your financial woes fixed. Yes, these sugar daddies do have the funds (as long as they’re not salt daddies) but they also have budgets and a price range already in mind. It might take a little more time than you would expect to see large numbers pop up in your bank account.

Mishaps happen…

You’ll have more fall outs than things working out. You snagged a sugar daddy, been on a few dates, that’s great! But that also doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way forever. Don’t get too caught up on the thought of “everything’s great now.”

Stuff happens…chemistry fizzles out, you don’t get along as well as you did in the beginning, schedule conflicts, you’re bored with each other, you realize they’re not “the one” and vice versa.

Things will shift and you two will know and feel the arrangement coming to an end. You’ll meet and go on more first dates than you will have a steady arrangement working out BUT you will need to go on many first dates in order to find that steady arrangement.

Like all dating, it’s a numbers game. So be prepared for a lot of dates.

Be ready for the windfall when it comes…

Figuring out how and when you get paid. This was such a huge thing for me when I started my sugar dating. I was so scared of talking finances cause it felt like such a touchy subject, nor did I want the arrangement to feel like a transaction.

However, being straightforward in your messages or on the first date of how much you’re looking for and how you’ll get paid is the best thing you can do for each other.

Do you want to get paid monthly? Bi-weekly? Weekly? Pay per date? I’ve been scammed a couple times from sugar daddies saying “don’t worry I’ll take care of things” and waiting for my monthly bills to come in or wanting to give me a monthly allowance and low and behold I never see a single penny after a month of companionship is wasted.

I’ve turned to doing pay per dates/meet because it’s the easiest form. It seems like a lot of sugar daddies I’ve met now lean towards that payment as well. This way you know you’re getting money when you say goodbye at the end of the date and if for any reason, someone wants to disappear and not contact the other party again, there is no funds owed and no time lost.

Your eagerness to see them as much as you can doesn’t determine the fact that a sugar daddy is going to pay you. Just figure it out right away so you won’t waste each other’s time if there is a disagreement.

This post is brought to you by one of our contributing SB writers, Noelle, aka The Different One. You can check out her sugar baby story here!

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