How to Weed Out Fake Sugar Daddies: 8 Types of Men to PASS On

By Caitlin

ARE YOU A SUGAR BABY? GET PAID TO WRITE FOR US!

Date a Millionaire today. Find them at Sugardaddie.com, as seen on TV.

As you traverse the paths of the sugar world, you’re going to run into a variety of men. Some of them are going to be awesome, most of them just okay, and a few of them are going to just outright suck.

This post is dedicated to the latter: the Fake Sugar Daddy.

They come in all shapes and sizes but luckily, there are a few things they do and say to give themselves away early on.

To keep you from wasting time on these Fakers, we’ve come up with a list of hints and signs that will help you recognize a fake sugar daddy from the get go!

Here they are…

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #1. “Send Me Some Naked Pictures”

Ah, the naked picture requester. Most sugar babies have received an email or two from this type of fake sugar daddy at some point in their sugar journey.

All we have to say is: Delete and Block. Immediately.

Or, if you’re bored, shoot him this:

"You like-y?"

“You like-y?”

…and then Delete and Block.

No legitimate sugar daddy genuinely interested in a great arrangement is going to solicit naked pictures from random sugar babies. As for the men who do – we suspect they’re probably teenage boys looking for shits and giggles. And yea…we’re not into teenage boys. Who is?

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #2. “I Have to Test You Out First”

You might be casually chatting with a potential sugar daddy. Or maybe you’ve even been on a date or two with a POT.

Things seem to be going well but once talk of an arrangement and allowance comes up, he comes up with, “Well, before I’d agree to an arrangement, I’d have to test you out first.”

We all know what that means.

Yes, Delete and Block.

You are not a car. He does not get to “test drive” you.

There’s every possibility that an arrangement might not work out once it’s made, but that’s something real sugar daddies are willing to invest in to find out. No legitimate sugar daddy will ask to test drive you.

As for the fake ones who do – well, you know what to do. Pass.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #3. He Wants to Pay Per “Meeting”

There are men on sugar dating sites who don’t want an allowance-based arrangement. Instead, they’re looking to “pay you per visit.” You will get “paid” only when he visits and there’s only one thing he’s interested in doing during those visits.

These aren’t sugar daddies – they’re johns. And they’re not looking for sugar babies – they’re just too cheap to hire an escort.

And while we have nothing against escorts – sugar babies are not escorts. Sugar relationships areΒ notΒ about pay for play and sex is just a small part of what turns out to be a very dynamic relationship.

Don’t settle for this type of fake sugar daddy. He’s looking in the wrong neck of the woods. Kindly Delete and Block him.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #4. He Brags About Money

He’s got a yacht. Rolex watches? Even his dog’s got one. Oh, and did he mention (324 times) just how much money he rakes in?

Men like this are living proof that not all that glitters is gold.

These men are hoping to lure in sugar babies with the promise of the fortunes they hold. And even if he is as rich as Midas, it doesn’t mean he’s going to share it with you.

A lot of first time sugar babies make the mistake of thinking that the richest sugar daddies = the best sugar daddies.

That is just not true.

The best sugar daddies are the ones who see to it that you’re taken care of.Β  If he’s not doing that, it doesn’t matter how much glitter he’s got. It’s fool’s gold.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #5. He Has Crap Character

Rude, mean men do not make good company and they certainly do not make good sugar daddies.

If a potential sugar daddy is rude or mean to you at any point, cut ties with him. Even if he’s very wealthy, even if he’s willing to provide you an ample allowance – it ultimately will not be worth the emotional damage you are in for.

The best sugar daddies are first and foremost good people, or at least people who try to be kind to others. You know, adult men who understand things like consideration, thoughtfulness, and courtesy. Don’t make the mistake of getting involved with men who don’t see the value of those traits.

Any and all sugar you receive from them will be more bitter than sweet.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #6. The Bargain Hunter

He knows your allowance range. You have it on your SeekingArrangement profile, for sugar’s sake.

Yet, he proceeds to try to haggle you down to, oh, 50% of what you’re looking for.

Unless he found you on SeekingArrangementRACK.com – which to our knowledge, doesn’t exist – why is he trying to haggle for outlet prices?

Because he’s a fake sugar daddy, that’s why (not always the case, see our “note” below).

When it comes to very, very personal things like finding a great sugar baby, real sugar daddies don’t price shop. And they certainly don’t haggle. If you’re what he’s looking for and you’re realistic about your allowance expectations, he’ll be willing to do his part to make sure you’re happy in the arrangement by giving you what you’re asking for.

Note: Some potential sugar daddies will simply not be able to afford your allowance range, but some of these men can make great sugar daddies as well. If you really like a POT but you’re out of his price range, you can always adjust the amount of time you’d be spending together and put more limits on your availability so you’re both getting what you want.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #7. He Thinks He’s Doing You a Huge Favor

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: An allowance is NOT a handout.

Sure, he’s giving you money. But he’s most certainly not doing it out of the kindness of his heart. He’s getting a lot in return. Experienced sugar babies know how high maintenance a sugar relationship can be. You’re there for him when he needs you, you listen to him rant and rave about work, you do your best to look your best for him, you make him feel awesome and on top of the world.

That is no small service. So be appreciative of what he does for you (simply ’cause gratefulness is great) but don’t ever forget that the favors are going both ways. If he doesn’t recognize this, it’s probably better to pass on him.

No sugar daddy should be lording what he does over you. Men who do…do not make great sugar daddies.

Fake Sugar Daddy Hint #8. “It’s All About Me, Me, Me”

Very early on in my sugar journey, I sat through a 3-hour dinner with a potential sugar daddy who was under the impression that the sun, moon, and stars revolved around himself.

The topic of conversation through appetizers: The history of himself.

The topic of conversation through the main course: His greatest moments.

The topic of conversation through dessert: His visionary visions and every single tactic and method he’d ever employed, was currently employing, and planned on employing to make his dreams come true.

I thought of at least 19 excuses I could use to flee, but he had the remarkable ability of being able to talk and chew at the same time and I couldn’t get a word in edge-wise.

A painful experience, to be sure, but it taught me a very important lesson: Be wary of potential sugar daddies who are only interested in themselves.

After all, when are you ever going to get around to discussing things that you might need when it’s clearly all about him?


Miscellaneous Fake Sugar Daddy Hints + Notes

A few other little hints that he’s probably a fake sugar daddy:

  • Stereotypes are not always true, but chances are, if he’s speling lyk diz, he’z probly not suxessfull.
  • If he scolds you or displays controlling behavior, let him loose (unless you’re into that).
  • He tries to give you a really bad deal, like a few hundred dollars for spending days and days together. You can do better working at Starbucks – and the latter comes with benefits.
  • He’s full of promises and he keeps asking you on dates, but when it comes to talking about an actual arrangement, he gets quiet. Very quiet.
  • If he cusses or seems generally uncivilized, you know what to do. Pass.

And a few notes to help you avoid these fake sugar daddies:

  • Some of the men on sugar sites span the spectrum from wanting a pay-for-play to wanting a life partner and they’re not always clear about their intentions so you should be clear about yours when corresponding with them.
  • Know your deal breakers and don’t settle. If there are certain pet peeves that you have that a potential sugar daddy displays – don’t bother with them, it won’t last long.
  • Be wary of men who too readily agree to everything you ask for. Remember: he’s not your sugar daddy ’til you’ve actually gotten what you’ve asked for.
  • And as always, if you have a weird feeling about a potential sugar daddy, follow your gut.

Fake sugar daddies are harmless once you know how to spot them early on. But if you don’t, you can end up wasting quite a bit of your precious time and energy on these men, which is why we wanted to put together this list of fake sugar daddy hints.

Still, we know it’s probably not close to complete. As a smart sugar baby, you’re probably on the always lookout for hints and signs that indicate the personality and intentions of any potential sugar daddy you talk to.

If you have some fake-sugar-daddy-spotting tricks of your own that we missed – please feel free to share them in the comments for other sugar babies to see!

Leave a Comment:

(103) comments

nstewy8 September 19, 2014

This article was helpful. I am looking for a sugar daddy, and one messaged me. Right off the bat, he asked me if I was busty. Which creeped me out. Needless to say, I cut him down.

Is there anyway that someone reading this could help me revamp my profile to attract someone? I am a bbw, but I’m working on this (don’t say that in my profile), but I’d like for this search to go faster.

Reply
    mgtymike November 27, 2014

    I know you posted this a while ago, and I hope you’ve gotten it all taken care of. But, in case you haven’t, I’d be happy to take a look for you.

    Here are some tips that I’m going to toss out there. He has to be actually interested in you. Personally, I’d say you have to spend enough time with your potential ‘SD’ to see if there is a fit. I met one girl, her second e-mail was… lets meet. I don’t like the whole text and email for forever deal, so I was all for buying a nice dinner and chatting. We didn’t get 1/2 way though dinner and she was starting in about what she wanted. (5 – 10K), which I thought was a bit steep, but it was worth listening. She was cute. However, the rest of dinner there was no conversation, just an attempt to setup a business arrangement. I explained that really….. you had to figure out how much you like the other person first, to see if there should even be an arrangement. At the end of the evening I dropped her off at home, and we setup a date for the weekend. She asked that if I saw her again, I should give her a good faith payment to secure her time, and I agreed, we could do that. Over the next couple of days she called incessantly about was I going to see her, and when I did would I bring the cash. Not only would I bring the cash, but since she was spending so much time talking with me, maybe I should bring more. In the end, I explained that I didn’t believe we were going to make a great sd/sb couple, mainly due to the fact that she didn’t like answering the questions I’d ask to get to know her, and she never asked anything about me. Plus, there was the whole thing of her vocabulary was very limited, and she confessed finally that she never completed high school, let along taken any college courses.

    I know that is the long way around, HOWEVER, I think it is important to note, that she wanted the 5 – 10k for a platonic relationship, after posting that she wanted a physical, long term and mutual relationship coupled with inability to carry on a conversation on a mature level and contact bugging about having the cash at the beginning of the second date, bespoke volumes as to her character.

    All of this goes both ways. Both parties really do have to be realistic in what they want. Most business type people are going to want to know what value they are getting for their outlay.

    That should help some in writing up your profile. People can always respect what it is that you’re asking for, and most business type people are happy to see your value. Just be sure to build your value in your profile about yourself, and realistically put in your profile what you are offering. You can be politically correct if you want, or blunt, but most importantly, be yourself, or at least be the woman that the men you want would want to have beside them. If you want to be the public face of a successful man, say so, if you want to be his dirty little secret, be that. If you’re looking to be platonic, say so, if you want to be a sexy little fuck kitten, say that as well. If the thought of being with a guy 20 years your senior grosses you out, put that in your profile. If looks don’t matter, don’t put that in your profile, but if you imagine him with a little grey around the temples and he is Mr. Metrosexual, say so. You are literally offering YOU. Since it is YOU we are giving the money too, tell us why you should be getting an allowance, and don’t make it a sob story, be positive, be bold. And remember, well behaved women, NEVER made history. In fact as an interesting study, take a look around at the stories of the Kings mistresses. Most are quite the power players. All, were goddesses to their man.

    — My personality profile: ENTP —

    Reply
      Caitlin December 2, 2014

      Hi, thanks for dropping by! And thanks for the illuminating example. It’s totally true – it is very helpful for sugar babies to know who they are and what they want. It’s the first step to being a successful sugar baby, as we say πŸ™‚
      Your experience sounds pretty terrible, to be honest. Especially since the best arrangements happen when one party isn’t hounding the other party like a loan shark. Love the part about “don’t make it a sob story” – so, SO true! Sugar babies, courtesans, mistresses – whatever you want to call us – have been around since the beginning of time and the most successful ones never begged πŸ™‚

      Reply
      WellHello January 5, 2015

      Mgty mike, would you mind disclosing your approximate location? I’m wondering how much that has to do with the type of sugar daddy & expectations. You very much sound like a gentleman, & I’ve not run into much of that from men claiming they are in my area (central coastal FL).
      Also, what is the best way to be a platonic sugar baby? Of course I’m funny & good at many things, but it seems like most men would get disgruntled with that? I’m just curious. Thank you!

      Reply
      CKA73 January 8, 2015

      Hi,
      I am new to being a sugar baby. Literally, I just set up my profile. That said, I’m not naive and am doing my research. I am interested in getting some help on my profile and figuring out what my terms should be. I am 41 and cute, smart and sexy. I am looking for an allowance type of relationship as I’m too frugal for extravagant gifts. I’m not sure how much to relay in my profile and how much to talk about via messages,… I’ve read that you shouldn’t talk arrangement terms until after the first date… I definitely know my value, and don’t want to be taken advantage of.

      Reply
        Caitlin February 12, 2015

        Hey there and welcome πŸ™‚ We’re going to be doing posts on profiles soon – so definitely stay posted for that! As for being “too frugal for extravagant gifts” – put the allowance first and foremost (requirement!) but never say no to gifts πŸ™‚
        For now, our best-est, simplest advice is keep the conco light, happy, and reveal the best bits of yourself – and of course, ask plenty of getting-to-know-you questions and let him talk.

        Reply
      WellHello February 18, 2015

      Mgtymike, would you mind disclosing your approximate location? I’m wondering how much that has to do with the type of sugar daddy & expectations. You very much sound like a gentleman, & I’ve not run into much of that from men claiming they are in my area (central coastal FL).
      Also, what is the best way to be a platonic sugar baby? Of course I’m funny & good at many things, but it seems like most men would get disgruntled with that? I’m just curious. Thank you!

      Reply
      Lelianna April 15, 2015

      This comment was extremely helpful, so thank you! I am a complete newbie to the sugar dating world and I haven’t even replied to any of the men who have contacted me via my profile yet. Despite my curiosity, as a young woman with self respect, I didn’t know if I could go through with such an arrangement (even though the concept is intellectually tempting) because I didn’t know what kind of men I would be encountering. You however seem like a very reasonable, respectful gentleman and I am genuinely put at ease by your words, not only because they make sense but also because they seem to be coming from a good place. Thank you! πŸ™‚

      PS: I’m also an ENTP! Maybe that’s why I clicked with your message. πŸ™‚

      Reply
      Caramisse November 1, 2015

      Seriously great comment. You should write a book.

      Reply
      Payton March 10, 2016

      You still seeking a SB you seem like a great person!

      Reply
      Desi August 16, 2016

      You sound sweet πŸ™‚

      Reply
      laura September 14, 2016

      mgtymike I know you wrote this a few years ago, but thank you for doing so. It has helped me a lot in preparing my own profile.

      Reply
      Naa March 4, 2017

      Thanks for this….i actually found that building a relationship of loyalty and trust with a sd can pay off handsomely. Of course money matters but dont make it so blatant! Get to know the person (as a matter of safety too) and even if its just a sexual relationship, at the end of the day, it makes you better at reading people.

      Reply
      peeches May 9, 2017

      Good evening I realized this was written 2014 but I just wanted to say wow. I have no comments, this is exactly what we women should be saying and not being the bull shitters.

      Reply
      Peaches May 19, 2017

      Wow! I read and learned a lot. I am still a newbie at this. But when some SD asking you for your bank info right off the bat and explaining that he wants to be with you and only you. It makes you scratch your head…. words in text messages stating where the person is located also made me re-consider meeting up. However why is the SD will take 1 month to meet you?

      Reply
      Jayden June 3, 2017

      Very helpful.

      Reply
    inu December 5, 2016

    Want search to go fast, then get a REAL job. Being a sugar baby isn’t the career for you. Sound like you have a shallow personality, look for another profession of you need advice from a internet blogger.

    Reply
Ella January 16, 2015

I had an experience with a fake sugar daddy I would like to add.

I met a POT on a Sugar Daddy website and we hit it off over messaging, so we decided to meet for a date. Once we were on the date he acted like he was looking for his one true love. I figured he was really into the personal connection and that we would discuss the rest once we were sure we both liked each other. We had a great date and seriously clicked.

When he texted me a day after for a second date I tactfully brought up the arrangement aspect- “Arrangement, what arrangement?” He acted like I was wrong for wanting an arrangement. When I mentioned us meeting on the Sugar Daddy website he said he had better luck there than conventional dating sites. Err, what?

His profile said he had more than enough money (10 MM+) to support this type of arrangement but he was playing the “love of my life” card. He was offering travel with him and an exclusive relationship but no actual sugar. I think he was banking on the girls he meets thinking that marrying a guy like this would be better in the long run. I’m in my 20’s and he’s 60 yrs. old, so not my first choice for marriage material. Total, and I mean total, waste of time!! And then he continued to text me for weeks after asking me to go out with him again. Total fake sugar daddy.

Reply
    Caitlin February 12, 2015

    What a jerk. That’s actually misleading and a total waste of someone’s time; registering on a sugar daddy and then playing dumb when you ask him about an arrangement? Wow. Hope you dropped him QUICK.

    Reply
    Desi August 16, 2016

    I need some advice girl, get in my life!

    Reply
    Sabrina November 22, 2016

    I had the same issue last week. I had a great time with my POT SD but when it came time to discuss the arrangement his smile went away. He said he would consider it but I knew that was a lie. The next day he sent me a message breaking it off. I know he is wealthy enough but just too cheap. He said that he didn’t give allowances to any of the other women he met on SeekingArrangement. Probably why you’re still seeking dude, you’re on the wrong site. I can get a guy/girl to wine and dine me any night of the week but I signed up to a SD/SB site for a reason. It’s frustrating to weed through the salt daddies that want a cheap fuck. I have far too much to offer to settle for less.

    Reply
      David Blake January 8, 2017

      Sabrina,too much to offer. Like what. I was on Sa website a while ago but alot of women want me to give them allowance to only talk .I mean, I can talk to women at a bar.Sugar babies,if you dont offer intimacy for allowance what do You offer.

      Reply
      Dallas February 3, 2017

      Sabrina, I never date anyone on Seeking arrangements that I wouldn’t don’t outside the site. That’s my personal choice. I think the arrangement experience would be so much more fun and honest that way. I’m still friends with an ex SD, and that’s how it should be. You are not a professional sex worker, and it shouldn’t feel that way. You should only settle for people who you can consider a friend. If you can’t find someone now, just wait until it happens. It should be a great experience, not forced.

      Reply
    inu December 5, 2016

    MILK him dry, that a potential sugar daddy. Do you know anything of anna Nicole smith, that girl milk that old man. Anna nicole is the definition of gold digger and sugar baby. Being a sugar baby is not finding a PERFECT match, it about MILK that 60+ old man and servicing his oldies need. Service that OLD dude, and maybe you will get an allowance.

    Reply
Blair January 21, 2015

Hey there,

I have a POT, who seems to be okay but he has some half-naked pictures (only wearing underwear) on his profile.
It’s not viewable for the public, however I’m a little bit concerned.

Is he a fake?

I’ve never come across this issue so I thought, someone out there might help me πŸ™‚

Reply
    Caitlin February 12, 2015

    Hmmmm…that’s not a lot of information to go on to tell if he’s a fake or not. He might just be really, really horny or open with his sexuality. Watch how he talks and behaves, that should be more telling.

    Reply
nollz March 27, 2015

Hi. I have also just begun looking for a SD. The first few that contacted me where just odd so I deleted them then I started talking to this guy, he sounds genuine well I think. We get along very well . We talk about stuff other than the arrangement,and he seems like a caring guy, we make jokes and talk about our favorite shows and food and places we would to visit.he even told me about he previous SR (not all details), just ordinary stuff. We haven’t talked much yet about the exact allowances but he lives in a city I want to move to and he offered to get me an apartment( as part of my benefits) though we haven’t met yet he ask if I need anything. Sends me cash to do my hair and nails just the minor stuff.so just a few nights ago while we talking he sends me a picture of he’s manhood. That creeped me out a bit. I didn’t know what to make of it, I hardly commented on it. But our conversation continued as normal. We haven’t agreed upon the SR yet and we have set a date for our first meeting . He says he will come to my town to see me . Then he said he would like if we spend the night together if I want, I haven’t yet gave him my answer. But I already plan to tell him am not comfortable with it not before we officially in a SR. so now the picture + spending the night together makes me doubt him a bit, could he be a fake?? Please help me out

Reply
    Caitlin April 8, 2015

    Ah, the dick pic…why do men do that?! First of all, thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚ And we’re happy you found someone you get on with…that being said, no one is a genuine sugar daddy until he does one thing: makes the arrangement official by giving you an allowance. To be honest, we don’t know if he is a fake or if he’s genuinely interested in an arrangement with you but we’d give you a few pieces of advice:
    1. Do not let him spend the night. He has enough money to get himself a hotel room. Just giggle and say you’re definitely not comfortable with that outside of an arrangement. Be sweet but firm.
    2. Do not give him too much of your time. It’s great to build rapport but you’re not at his beck and call if he’s just sending you bits of cash – nothing’s official ’til it’s official.
    3. Keep seeing other potential sugar daddies. The last thing you want to do is place your hopes on this ONE pot. Keep going on sugar dating sites, keep drumming up new leads. You don’t stop until you’re in an arrangement (and even then, still look for leads :))

    Good luck and wishing you all the sugar in the world πŸ™‚

    Reply
      SugaSuga May 4, 2017

      “Why do men do that” Seriously. You need to know “why do men do that”? oh ok. Because to them you’re pussy and now they want to be dick, sO that you two could get it on. It is a 100% TOTAL disregard of you as a human being. And they don’t care about your view of them at all whatsOever because you’re nothing but an outlet for them to dump inside. Clear now?

      Reply
    inu December 5, 2016

    nail and hair, and you put out.. You are not a sugar baby, maybe look for a career as a WHORE.. cheapest sex ever.

    Reply
    SugaSuga May 4, 2017

    Girl I can’t believe you still fucking talking to him after he sent you a dick-pick. What’s wrong with you??? Don’t you have ANY self respect wow

    Reply

so I met this gorgeous guy, exactly my type, seems extremely genuine. he directed me to learn more about the process of how he is going to interview me over Skype asking a variety of questions and giving directives, to see how well I follow. the website is http://www.sugarlifeseties.com here’s what threw me off. though the site was very informative and interesting, there were typos in the text, and there is no such other websites called this out there. I would think that if this was such a sought after science, other people would have posted their experiences about it somewhere on the entire internet? the typos make me feel like he himself made this webpage.

but…he’s very polite, and has been a complete gentleman. he offered to take care of the hotel accommodations when my mom comes in town next weekend, though when I asked if he needed our info to put on the reservation, (he does not live in town where i am) he responded with, i’ll put it initially under my name and i’ll change it on thursday. does that make sense? is that weird? or am I just over thinking the scenario. hmmmm…

these sessions we just begun last about an hour and so far it has been awesome getting to know him. he knows my living situation is a struggle right now and offered to buy a condo or house of my choice, then when the mortgage is paid off in 3 years, he will sign the deed over to me as a gift and that he will put this in writing ahead of time so I have no concerns.

obviously I wish all of these promises would become reality! I just naturally feel like, is this guy too good to be true or what?? or have I just hit the mother load?

i’m excited, but I have some valid reservations. thoughts?

Reply
    Caitlin June 2, 2015

    Hello and thanks for stopping by! Just tried to check out the webpage but it’s not loading at all. As for your question – we have to repeat what we always say: a potential sugar daddy is just that – potential. Many potential sugar daddies make an array of promises and some keep them and some don’t. The only way to make sure that you get what you want is to keep talking to new potential sugar daddies, going on sugar dates and keeping the lines of communication open with as many potentials as possible. This man may be the mother load…but he may not. We don’t say this to sound negative, but to point out that no man is a sugar daddy until he is meeting your needs in an arrangement. Until then, continue talking with this man and explore where it goes, but don’t stop pursuing other avenues as well.

    Reply
Serah June 20, 2015

I have a POT that I actually considered to already be my SD…we met twice and I broke two huge rules, not sleeping on the first meet (I found out he was into bdsm and would let me wreck him so I just wanted to honestly) and he paid for like 500 of sex toys and gave me 160. Then the second meet, he gave me 100. It didnt dawn on me until I read this but it is pay for play and doesnt come anywhere near meeting my allowance. Im supposed to see him tonight…I think I need to bring up making an actual arrangement. Can anyone offer tips?

Reply
Kiki August 1, 2015

So I talked to this POT but we talked over email discussing when we could meet up and what kind of arrangement I was looking for. He asked for some pictures and I sent him some, But now he wants nudes. Is he fake or just not worth it. He didn’t just come off the bat and asked for nudes. We talked a bit then he asked for nudes. What do I do?

Reply
    Stephanie September 18, 2016

    Do not end this man or any man naked photos of yourself-EVER! You could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt and embarrassment and possible blackmail!

    Reply
anneb220 August 11, 2015

So, I’m a brand new SB… I have NO idea what I’m doing. I’ve been reading through the comments, and a lot of them are helpful. I just need some basic pointers.

1) Does the SB initiate the conversation or should the SD reach out to the SB?
2) I know this varies, but how much should a woman expect to be paid? In the hundreds? Thousands?
3) Should a SB just have ONE SD that she is loyal to? Or can she have multiple?
4) If the SB frequently sees her SD, is there a boundary on how close they get? Can they call each other just to talk? Is it strictly business?

I have tons of other questions but that is my main focus right now.

Thanks.

Reply
Caitlin September 9, 2015

Hi Caitlin- I too have the “correct” spelling of Caitlin, or so my mother tells me πŸ™‚ . Like the majority commenting, I too am new to the SB/SD world and have been doing a lot of reading. I do have a question and haven’t been able to find anything on this particular situation in my research and would like your opinion? I have a SD we’ve been emailing and he seems like a great guy I’m getting good vibes (already weeded out a lot of the johns) he owns his own business and is out of the country right now for a couple weeks but would like to set up a meet once he’s back. I am in KY he lives in NY. I never mentioned once that I wanted him to give me money, he stated he would like me to take my SB account down and anything I needed consider it done, he wants to spoil me until we meet etc… I checked my email yesterday and he had transferred 4000 via fast access money transfer. I was very surprised. Where he is at he only emails me about once a day maybe due to having limited access but I ALMOST feel like for some reason I’m getting scammed. Don’t ask me why it’s like I don’t think it’s real or something.. Identity theft maybe? Anyways I followed the iinstructions and sure enough in order to get the western union I’d need to pay 400.00 BUT on the website it does say it charges 10% for transfers. I can’t tell and don’t know if I should stop talking with this guy- honestly though he seems legitimate I just don’t know where I’m more and he’d be my first if it’s just nerves and I’m being paranoid or what. Ever have a potential SD send money before ever meeting?

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    Caitlin September 12, 2015

    Hello, (correctly-spelled) Caitlin πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by and telling us about your situation – we’re really glad you did and that you’re being a smart cookie and doing your research before diving into the sugar world. From what you tell us, we’re not able to completely declare this a “scam” or not, but there a few things about your situation that stand out:

    1. Have you actually met this man? To be honest, we have never come across a POT who was willing to commit to an arrangement before at least one date – even if we’d been emailing and having long conversations on the phone, the POT would wait ’til actually going on a date and seeing/interacting with you in person before committing to an arrangement. Even the POTs who were very, very interested waited ’til after the first date, so if you’ve never actually met this man – it doesn’t mean it’s a scam, but it is very unusual.

    2. What do you mean by fast access money transfer? Is it via Western Union? We haven’t used WU in awhile, but 10% for transfer fees is preposterous – it’s doubtful that WU would charge that much. Plus, from what we remember, the sender pays the fees on Western Union – you don’t have to pay anything (and certainly not 10%) to pick it up. If you’re getting this information from a link in the email that this POT sent you – disregard it and call up an actual Western Union place for details.

    3. In our experience, when you get a weird feeling in your gut – it’s worth listening to. You might not know why or how, but that feeling is usually spot on. There are times and situations where your brain can’t quite put a finger on what’s happening, but your gut somehow knows. That sounds a bit woo-woo, but it’s been really true in our experience.

    Last note – yes, a POT can send money before meeting. But it’s usually not a big amount, and it NEVER requires the SB to spend any money to get that money. In all honesty, we advise you tell him that you feel wary about that 10% fee and ask if he can send it to you another way (a pre-paid credit card sent to your PO box, for example). And see what he says/does. No matter what – don’t give him any personal information about you, your bank account details, and definitely don’t pay any money to get any money he’s offering.

    Those are our 2cents. Hope it helps and wish you the best of luck πŸ™‚

    Reply
      Jasmyn September 20, 2015

      *were

      Reply
      Iesha January 2, 2017

      I’m also new with this whole SD / SB thing and I have a guy that I only been emailing ( once a day) for a week and half now & suppose to had sent the same thing $4,000 through Western Union but I do not have the transfer code to process the instructions but everything she said sound about right. I’m just trying to figure out is he a FAKE as well.

      Reply
    Jasmyn September 20, 2015

    What happened? Where you able to get the money at all? This sounds like a SD I just met well what he was saying to you.

    Reply
    paula September 20, 2016

    oh BABE PLEASE DON’T PAY THE 400$ FEE CHARGE! I BEG YOU!!!!!! It’s a scam dear! because recently I just got the exactly experienced about that, we can compare the emails he sent to you and to me, I bet it is going to be same. he told me too that he will spoil me from now until we met and he sent 4000$ of money through paywisetransfer.com but when I checked it, they said I need to pay the 400$ charge. oh what a scam! I also found similar stories about it on google. contact me through my email: tempting67@gmail.com, I want to make sure that the guy is same and warn the other sugar babbies, actually this guy targeting to new sugar babbies.

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Emma September 29, 2015

Hello. I’m fairly new (maybe 10 months now). I am on my second SD (first had some health issues and we’ll all he did anyway was pay my bills and only seen him about 3 times. Miss him and hope he gets better). But anyway new SD I’ve been searching for over a month (it takes time) and I ran into many fakes. Now this one I met for coffee and just talked a little about each other. Ima a plus size woman so it was his first time talking to someone like me so he says but he thinks I’m a great person and beautiful. Anyway we came back to my place because he was giving me a ride home. We spent more time just chit chatting. When leaving because he had a meeting he asked me to walk him to his car and I did. He asked me to get in his car and I did of course. He gave me a very small amount of cash and his business credit card (so he says) and that’ll he’ll be coming to get me tomorrow for lunch. Now he said he is giving me his credit card because he didn’t have much cash on him and he didn’t think we would’ve clicked that well and wanted to make sure I knew he was serious. But told me only use his card if if I really need to (I haven’t used it though). I want to use it to see if he’s really legit and he didn’t give me one of his old dead cards or something. I really can’t tell. What should I do? I’m hoping he’s for real and he comes and gets me for lunch because he told me he’ll be sure to have cash on him tomorrow. So I don’t know really what to think if he’s real or not.

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Jess February 21, 2016

This is kind a right article but #3 is not true. Pay per date is a common way. There is no diffrence than pay montly, there is no legal aggrement on this type of relation. He can spend a month and go. If he want to pay per date, tell him he have to pay advance for first month and after first month you are okay pay per date. I think best is half of month allowance is for first date.

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    Natasha February 27, 2016

    ‘Pay per date’ is the same thing as prostitution, because notice when you first meet the guy he is only paying for dinner and not giving you any actual money.. He will say things like he’s not going to pay you until you spend the night together.. Please pay close attention to these ‘pay per dates’ if you are meeting a SD, he’s paying you and you are NOT having sex with him then you are right, but I guarantee you this does not happen.

    Reply
      Caitlin February 28, 2016

      Just want to provide a slight clarification – there is a lot of variance in the sugar world. Some POTs – wherever you meet them – will give you money on the first date. This has happened to me as well as other sugar babies, whether to “lock you down,” or to just give you a little gift so you can go shopping, etc. Of course, you can also drop a tip or two at dinner – “I’m so excited to go to this concert, but I have nothing to wear!” And platonic SB/SD relationships, although rare, do exist as well. Here’s a sugar baby who’s in a platonic relationship.

      Reply
      David Blake January 8, 2017

      The problem with giving first month allowance to a first time sugar baby is That The baby take IT and never contact the sugar daddy. I had happen to me once. I will never give first months allowance to a potential sb again. If an sb ask me to do that then i automatically think she is a scam artist

      Reply
Natasha February 27, 2016

Your advice is 100% accurate. I have been on seekingarrangments 3 separate times within a 2 year period. In that 2 year period I have only met about 5 guys. 4 of them wanted to peruse an ‘arrangement’ with me. The 5th guy seemed to want a relationship, he seemed confused about what site he was on… First of all every single guy was about 10 years older then he claimed to be. There was absolutely no spark on my end I was honestly embarrassed about being seen in public with these guys. Maybe I’m not cut out for these types of websites because I can’t just automatically sleep with some 60 yr old guy that I don’t know in exchange for a couple hundred dollars, or even worst having to play lovey Dovey with some old guy that looks older then my father. It makes me sick just thinking about it. My original intentions and still are (and correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t this the true definition of a SD/SB relationship) is to meet an older, somewhat attractive older men that spoils me immediately, Fendi handbags, shopping trips, expensive dinners. Then when I feel comfortable we take things to the next level. THAT is a sugar daddy. If you’re anything like me you’re insulted by the offers you’ll receive. Why on earth does an old guy who was obviously never attractive now think he can get someone like me with a low budget??! It really baffles my mind… You will also find out after meeting a couple guys that their ego is all boosted up because numerous attractive women have been meeting them for drinks. It really doesn’t click that they are in fact repulsive and the purpose of these websites are for women to find a SD, not because because we have grandpa fetishes.

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    Caitlin February 28, 2016

    Hi Natasha, thanks for stopping by! And sorry to hear about your unpleasant encounters, but keep your head up – as we mention, sugar dating is really a numbers game (kinda like regular dating :)) and most SBs will meet a lot of frogs before finding the right SD for her. That’s why we write articles like this – so new SBs can learn to weed out all the “absolute HELL NO’s” and spend more time meeting with ones that have potential…and they are out there, it just takes awhile to find them sometimes. Speaking from personal experience – I went on around two dozen sugar dates, pretty much all of them dinner (so that took like 2 – 3 hours of my time, each!) before I found my first sugar daddy. It can be frustrating but keep your eye on your goals, don’t let the bozos get under your skin and just use these negative experiences to streamline your search. Oh, quick tip – if you’re not already, ask to talk to them on the phone before you agree to go on a date with them. You can actually pick up a lot of things about a person over the phone – including their age, as weird as it sounds – as well as if you’ll have anything in common with them. Plus, if you use Google voice and they call you from their cell phone, their name will show up so you can google them for a recent pic and extra info πŸ˜‰

    Reply
      laura September 14, 2016

      cool tip, on the google voice. thanks!

      Reply
Stella March 21, 2016

Hello.
The article was very interesting.
I am new in this all sugar thing.
I meet this guy and he seems genuine.
We have been talking for a month and yesterday we started talking about our arrangement.
I want a platonic relationship and I told him I wanted 150 per meeting.
He told me that was to much and that he was going to pay me only for some meetings and that he was looking for a friend with benefits.

It just doesn’t seem right.
Am I asking to much?

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    Sammie April 8, 2016

    Move on. He’s looking for a escort not a sugar baby. Have a base.. I would never negotiate less then 2k/mo depending on how many times you see each other.

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    Layla Rose May 20, 2016

    He thinks 150 per meeting is too much??? Enough said…

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    Joe September 19, 2016

    So you want 150 to ‘hang out’ with someone. Why women think they can earn A LOT of money and have one sided relationships with sugar daddies is beyond me. Most men searching sugar baby websites are older men who want to have sex with younger, attractive women, that’s just how it is, sorry but that’s reality. Why should a guy pay 150 to hang out with you? Are you like the cooler person ever? What’s so special about you that someone should pay 150 to ‘be friends’ with you? The entitlement is astounding.

    Reply
      Caitlin September 19, 2016

      We tend to view the world as we are, right? Many men – and not just on sugar dating websites – want to have sex with younger, attractive women. But there are also quite a lot who enjoy the company of playful, smart women and are willing to provide compensation for hanging out. $150 per meeting is far from an unreasonable request, granted she brings something to the table that the SD in question wants/needs in his life.

      Reply
Sammie April 8, 2016

Great Article! I started sugarbaby-ing on and off for 3 years ago. Was naive and fell for some splenda daddies. Now I have a successful SD/SB arrangement going on 5 months now. One thing, I wanted to add is aside from them asking for a test drive also stay away if they ask for a naked pic right up front. I was a fool few years ago and sent him a pic. We started an arrangement but it was 500 per date then a month later he said ” I dont feel like dishing out checks anymore but I want to still hang out” OK buddy..ditched him.. so ladies beware of that as well. Also I’ve learned dont fall for ” I will only pay you about 100 per month cause anything more daddies dont pay for” Thats a lie too, I get about 6k each month.. so its true, its possible, you just have to sift through the jokers to find your match πŸ™‚

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Loti April 20, 2016

Hey. I’m fairly new to this whole sd/sb thing. I just went on a date with a potential SD but after reading this article, I realized I might have underpriced myself.. He offered me, $200/visit, the visit should be at his home everytime, he said he won’t put a limit on the amount of visits. He is very respectful and nice, but I just feel like $200 is so… Little. I didn’t ask for money on the first date, he asked me when do I wanna start and asked me if I wanna start that day but I didn’t have the time and also.. I don’t want to be physical with a person right away (I don’t know how soon into an arrangement girls usually go there) and I went home not really feeling best about myself. He gave me a ride back as soon as he learned that “I don’t wanna start that day” and ugh.. I don’t know. It makes me feel so cheap and frankly.. $200/visit? He also said I can chill by the pool or stay over the night etc. That’s a lot of obligation for $400/week. What should I do? Move on to the next?

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Shirley May 13, 2016

Thniinkg like that is really amazing

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DoesNotMatter May 15, 2016

Hmmm, so many girls have claimed to be receiving or to have received $10,000 per month from a SD.Anybody with a half brain should have an issue with such a claim. What in the world is someone who can provide that much ($120K a year + other expenses involving dates etc) doing on such a website?.It is not far-fetched to think people who can provide that much likely drive Ferrari, Lamborghini etc which are chick magnet.

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    Serena October 27, 2016

    Mine is from a Diplomat who works 14-16 hours a day. He blocks off time in his calendar to see me so although he is paid highly he does not have the time to meet women and have the convenience of an on-going ‘relationship’ with terms included.

    Reply
Joel Minick June 17, 2016

Very few of the entries pertain to fake sugar daddies.

Mostly, this is about bad people, though I’d also add a majority of sugar babies prefer to get $$$ every time they meet.

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alexandria July 2, 2016

The general rule is #spoiltheprincess

A sugar daddy should always spoil his sugar baby.

A princess deserves and must be spoiled and pampered.

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andrew July 29, 2016

sorry for my bad english but you see all in ”your point of view” what about other part

you can imagine how many sb girls are there per sugar daddies? a lot of first one,

i believe you are very teoric and not realistic, that good kind of deal just some percent of people can offer it, i mean with lots of sugar babies there, not fit with quantity of sugar daddies also you find ladies that not so atractive [its this site about that right? guys cant date a sexy ladie, and the only way is that one]

seeing amounts im able to do half of that numbers, i prefer pay per meet, what about if i give half and you say bye bye after couple of days? we not are stupid, thats why per meet i guess its a preference,

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    Caitlin August 1, 2016

    Hi Andrew, no worries and thanks for your comment. Yes, we write from our points of view but we do acknowledge that there is a wide spectrum of sugar daddies and sugar babies – and thus, a wide variety of sugar relationships. This is why we stress that the ideal sugar relationship is one that works for both parties involved.
    That being said, we do wish the best for our sugar baby readers (being sugar babes, ourselves) and try to give the best information to help them stay safe while getting what they want.

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Lena August 8, 2016

Hi Caitlin
I’m new to SD/SB world I want to sign up do you have suggestions on which site I should sign up to being my first time? Also a good starting range for allowance… I do have a kid is that something I mention on my profile? Or don’t bring it up unless asked….

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    inu December 5, 2016

    You failed as a sugar baby, no rich man want you now. Time to take about getting a REAL job and raising your KIDS right. What example are you setting an example for you boy or girl.

    Boy: my mommy is living off some rich dude
    Girl: it ok to treat man like money bag, i’ll do it when i grow up too.

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Me August 12, 2016

So, I was offered pay for play from every guy who has contacted me. Highest was $500 and lowest was $100.
of course their profile’s yearly income and net worth are really high but they put in “negotiable” for allowance.
Where are you real sugar daddies?
*sigh*

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    inu December 5, 2016

    you need to seriously look for another profession, if you can’t tell the different between escort and sugar baby. One is being hidden, and the other is sex for money. BOTH still deal with sex and money, don’t know the difference GET a real job.

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Nia August 23, 2016

Hi I’m new to this sd/sb world so if I could get some advice I would appreciate it

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oi8e7 August 28, 2016

I may have done something totally naive, ive been talking to someone for a day after a few weeks of nothing much happening, he seemed nice and genuine and wanted to take me out for a meal, meet in in a nearby city or such soon. We video chatted but had gotten nude both of us, he didnt seem to think of it as sexual, he didnt say i was hot or sexy, just cute and chatted more. Was that way to fast?
Im a trans man and am wondering if this puts up risks for me ( or just puts risks up for me as a person), or if i did something dumb, should i trust this person?, he wanted to meet for a day and have me overnight, does this sound da

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    Caitlin September 10, 2016

    Hi, as with many relationships, what’s “too fast” depends on you. It’s entirely a matter of what feels right and comfortable for you. If this encounter made feel like you went too far, too fast, then it might be better to go slower and at a pace you feel good with in the future. We generally advise not sharing any compromising information with a POT until you’ve met them, got to know them and are in a trusting relationship with them. Hope that helps and good luck!

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Merci September 7, 2016

I am currently talking to a POT via email and we haven’t met yet and we won’t meet for two weeks as his contracting business thing won’t be in my city for another two weeks but he wants to already set up an allowance? I’ve never had anyone do that for me should I be worried or excited cuz I’m already excited.

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    Caitlin September 10, 2016

    Hi Merci, that’s great! Our advice would be to be excited – but approach with caution. Don’t give him any personal information that can compromise you including things like you online banking details. Check out our post for ways to get your allowance safely. Good luck!

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laura September 14, 2016

I don’t know about anyone else, but I get a lot of men who want phone sex without having to pay for it. One asked for my phone number right away and when he called he said he didn’t want to waste time getting to know each other he wanted to set up an arrangement and go forward with it because he was very busy and didn’t have time for anything else. I was a bit put off by this and told him so right away and he immediately became submissive and boyish and changed his tone from demanding to persuading. I listened to his pitch a little while longer and it started turning into a sexual nature with which he was describing his preferences and I told him I wasn’t interested and got off the phone. He called back several times acting like he wanted a fresh start but it always turned into a sexual conversation. I told him what he needed was a phone sex operator and he insisted that wasn’t what he wanted, but really he just didn’t want to have to pay one. I did some research on him and found out he held a very high position in a government career. He could totally afford to pay for what he wanted and he definitely could have set up an arrangement with me. I finally told him not to call me or contact me again. I had to be very firm and direct with him. He is just one example of many.

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I'd September 15, 2016

Brilliant . Wow . That’s all I can say .
Great tips amazing .

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Marie September 25, 2016

Hi Caitlin,

I have been reading your articles today and have to say they are very helpful (even the replies from other SB’s) I recently joined the SB/SD world with lots of researching to do.

I am currently stuck on one thing..
I have a POT who I am Interested in getting to know more and at some point meeting but I live an hour and a half away from him (a boring town btw) and the nearest airport is also an hour and a half away..

How should I go about meeting him? Should he make his way to me even if I am far? And if there really isn’t anything to do where I live, is it ok to ask we go else where? I am pretty confused.. Also I haven’t discussed meeting with him yet as he is still out of the country. I’d appreciate any advice.

thank you!
Marie

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Kate October 1, 2016

What to do when your sugar daddy tell you, he lost his job? Is he putting you on a test or what? And plus I really care about him very very much and I don’t want to leave him.

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Juliasilxa November 7, 2016

Hey, so I’m a new fresh sugar baby and I started talking to a man in his late 20’s on SA. When he gave me access to see his private photos, he looks and dresses like Eminem and posted a picture involving the amount of money he has,and it was a lot. He hit me up with a message, saying he’d give an allowance of 8k a month plus shopping/travelling expenses, meeting twice a week max and sexual availability is a MUST. Since I’m new to this I made it clear that I want to take things slow sexually and get to know each other first. Now we haven’t met yet, but we are texting a bit and he won’t stop bringing up sexual content. Should I just give this guy a pass, is there any sketchy signs I should look for, or should I go on one date and go for it?

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Coco November 28, 2016

Hi I’m new to this sugar baby sugar daddy Arrangement and I actually have a couple dates that are going to be coming up meetings really soon and I’m just curious, we have the chemistry we talked on the phone and you emailing each other but now we’re going to be meeting each other for dinner and drinks I guess my question is once if it is carried out and we are going to make these Arrangements how does it work I mean like how do I get my allowance up front or do I get it at the end I mean because I can be His companion for a week or a month and then he could ditch me. and what they’re interested in and then I’m left without. and I’m sure it does happen but I’m just curious how does that work.

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    Caitlin December 2, 2016

    Hi Coco, it’s natural to have a whole lot of questions and doubts swirling around when you’re first starting. The thing about sugar arrangements is that there is no rule book to follow – the terms of the arrangement are flexible and totally depend on what you and your sugar daddy are comfortable with. The only suggestions we can make regarding your questions are…1. Allowance is better upfront (He may want to do pay-per-meeting or pay-per-week until he’s also comfortable with you. Remember he may also be worried that you might ditch him so dividing the allowance in the beginning can be a reasonable compromise) and 2. Until you feel secure in your arrangement, keep talking to and meeting POTs. Hope that helps and happy sugaring!

    Reply
    inu December 5, 2016

    You need to serious look elsewhere for a sugar baby profession. Maybe this isn’t the career for you. Most of these lady that are actually looking for advice on the net, for being a sugar baby. Look at yourself, and see if you have the ability to be on your own. This blogger not going to make decision for you. Want to be a sugar baby, there are up and down, and many time you will get SCREW over… damn that the field you agreed to.

    Reply
inu December 5, 2016

Been reading thru most of these comments, and many of these WANNABE sugar baby don’t have a clue on how to be one. It all about milk the man, not loving him. MILKING him for support, may as well be a sex worker if you are looking for love. Anna nicole smith is your goal, be like her and you are all GOLDEN. Don’t look for fake, be Anna nicole smith and you will be fine. Don’t want to be anna nicole smith, then get a REAL job, or continue to fall for the fake sugar daddy. Why be afraid if the fake one, it your life DO it. Your mind set is already mess up as it is. BE a anna nicole smith.

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    CincyGAl January 4, 2017

    @ Inu – I definitely would NOT use Anna Nicole Smith as a role model – the girl ultimately killed herself with drugs, for God’s sake – do you actually even KNOW about her story? It’s a very sad one. I don’t even know why you’re commenting here, as you CLEARLY have no idea what the SD/SB arrangement is supposed to be. You actually sound like one of the “fakes” described here, and your use of the English language is atrocious!

    Reply
      Erin March 19, 2017

      Haha, “atrocious” is putting it mildly.

      Reply
CincyGal January 4, 2017

Hi! I recently watched a show on cable about SD/SB relationships, and it made me consider the possibility of a relationship/arrangement. So, I started Googling for information, and found this article. Very good information – thanks, Caitlin! Some of it is just plain common sense, and I definitely think that I will give it a try. I’m at a place in my life where I know exactly what I want, and what I’m worth … to the right person. I do have one question, though. I am a BBW mature lady, but young for my age, and I do know how to present myself well. I worked in the beauty industry for around 18 years in upscale salons, and got to know many upscale women who had “married well”, and heard a lot about how their lives were with their husbands – in many cases NOT a bed or roses by any means. It really helped me gain perspective on what is really important in a relationship, what’s really valuable. Most of those women were miserable because they were “stuck” with their sugar daddy, and that’s not for me. At this point, I don’t really want to get married again, but would like to spend quality time with a generous companion who values me as a person, and visa versa. That seems to be the epitome of what a TRUE SD/SB arrangement is all about, and that’s perfect for me. My question is: Where is/are the best site(s) for mature BBWs to set up profiles? I’ve seen several BBW/SD sites, but I really don’t want to have multiple accounts going, as it would be too time-consuming to tend to them. I’d at least like to weed the selection down to maybe two, and go from there. Any suggestions?

A suggestion to all you young sugarbabies …
The Greek philosophers Socrates and Plato both offered this advice – KNOW THY SELF.

“Socrates says, as he did in Phaedrus, that people make themselves appear ridiculous when they are trying to know obscure things before they know themselves. Plato also alluded to the fact that understanding ‘thyself’, would have a greater yielded factor of understanding the nature of a human being.”

KNOWING AND LOVING YOUR SELF will not only give you the confidence you need to find what you’re looking for, but the wisdom to know what it is that you DON’T WANT – while providing you the will to stick to your guns until you get it. ~ HUGS ~

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Starr January 11, 2017

Beware of men who send one blurry picture and then refuse to send any more after that. If he is legitimate, he will not have an issue sending a few pictures of himself. If he refuses, it means he is likely not the guy he claims to be and has something to hide that he knows you will not like.

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Laura January 19, 2017

Hello! I’m new to this ordeal and I can’t seem to find a sugar daddy cause I’m a BBW who doesn’t want to share nudes or talk sexy due to my parents. I just want an online guy with no dates due to my social anxiety in which I go into panic mode and break down when I don’t feel safe.. I know that is alot of restriction…But yeah.

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Thatgirlnextdoor February 14, 2017

Hello ladies!
Ive been talking a POT now for 3 days and things have been going great. He’s 5 hours away from my city but he travels often. He has a background check on SA and is a CEO of a company. He seems promising however I havent seen a picture of him yet..
He told me that he had an arrangement before for 18 months, which is good because he has experience. It lasted 18 months until she moved.
Ive been asking him when he would like to meet ( and he does want to) and said that today he will be able to find out when he can come down rather than me flying over there, sweet. Apparently he needs to ask his assistants and I did not get an exact date or verification of when we can meet.
He does sound promising and well-spoken, however I do not want to get my hopes up for nothing
Suggestions ?

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sophie February 17, 2017

Hello, I’m new to Sugar Daddy dating and so far I’ve noticed that Sugardaddie.com is a lot different to Sugardaddyforme.com. Now in Sugardaddyforme.com I get tons of mails from guys telling me that they want to spoil me etc etc and then leave a number asking me to text them, and I never do because I dont want to give my number out. I thought about getting another phone but then it dawned on me…this could easily turn into a full time job. Is it normal to text people straight away or is this method just a ploy for guys with no photographs of themselves to talk to hot girls for free?

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    Caitlin February 22, 2017

    Hi Sophie, yea, the main sites are all a little different and draw different crowds. That’s why it’s great to sign up for a few of them. About the time-consuming phone calls – they’re actually one of the easiest ways to quickly bond with a POT (and check them out) without having to dolly yourself up and go on a bunch of sugar dates. Yes, it’s very much like a part-time job but the sugar search is intensive – at least until you get an SD you like. We’d recommend doing a bunch of phone calls with different POTS to suss them out and exchange a few texts with them before you meet. Afterwards, cull out the ones that aren’t taking action or don’t seem likely to be good SDs – this will save you time. Real SDs tend to be pretty busy and aren’t likely to want to text with random hot girls all day. Good luck!

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Easter Smith February 27, 2017

Do they use the word babe alot i am bery new at this and already I have ran into fake profiles and fake intentions please help a potential sugababy!!!!

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Tana February 27, 2017

Spot on, love it! Am just looking to start sugaring and trust me, even without reading this I knew all those read fake, so am definitely in the right profession lol. But I’ve noted the additional points that will definitely help with the process. Thanks a lot for this article.

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Gina Ewing March 13, 2017

I have a SD who claims he is being deployed to Iraq cause he is in the Army amd tells me i need to trust him . He claims to have all this money but when i told him i have a prepaid debit card for bank transfers and i would give him the account info but no personal info he stopped texting me. What do i do?

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Chocolate March 20, 2017

Ok seriously my daddy told me he wasnt gonna pay me an allowance but only give me when i ask whicb i found abit hard but tried go do it.Now bes a type of daddy you ask for the money and gives you less than what you asked and sometimes you have to remind him 3times!Am thinking of cutting him off cze its not taking me anywhere.

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Kitty Kat April 8, 2017

I am in the process of looking for a SD and may have potentially found one. He seems like the real deal but he keeps on making comments that he wants to “fool around” on Skype with me to test our chemistry. My gut is telling me not to, and I probably will not get naked or do any explicit acts on there in fear of being scammed. I am also fearful I may miss out on this being the real deal and someone legitimately interested in helping me out. *sigh*

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Veronica April 17, 2017

Please ladies, learn from my first (and unsuccessful) experience in the Sugar World: I met with older man and he brought up arrangement on the first date. He was very specific in how he wanted to help me and said he wanted to have all my financial needs covered. Rather than just paying me, he insisted on having all my bills paid directly through his account by his most “trusted secretary.” He required me to create an “Expense Report” (the damn thing took me hours to make, by the way) that listed out every single bill and provider account number, along with the service providers’ contact information (Eg: 800 #). Once I complied, it was excuse after excuse. In the ER. Confusing plans on when/where to meet. He was so damn good that he even made some of the delays appear to be my own fault. (Eg: I hasn’t told him my full situation so how can he possibly be effective in helping me.) Turned out I never got anything from him, except to listen to awful stories about his divorce and a week wasted of my life. Lesson learned: Don’t give out excessive details, or any details for that matter. In hindsight, I should have stated (after the platonic 1st date in which I should have insisted on focusing solely on impressing him and saved arrangement talk for the next), “These are my needs and what my schedule allows: $1K per week, in cash or on a prepaid Visa. I am able to spend a 2-3 hour evening/afternoon with you, twice a week, or a longer period of time, once a week. We can discuss special occasions as we move forward.” His immediate reaction and more importantly, action taken following, would have enabled me to weed him out shortly after our second meeting, at the latest. So remember to stay in control, don’t tolerate excuses and sugar on your own terms.

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Gabby May 7, 2017

So how do you have a POT verify he’s real when you’re pursuing an online relationship?

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DaBoss May 13, 2017

Cool blog and thanks for taking the time to address some important issues we all face as both SB’s and SD’s…

I’m an experienced sugar daddy and although much of what you’re saying is true… everyone is unique in what they’re seeking and/or providing. There’s a lot of entitlement going on in the sugar dating world. Why would I start forking out $5,000.00 per month for a platonic “arm candy” sugar baby? Sure there’s guys out there (like those 75yr old geezers) who simply want companionship but let’s not kid ourselves! We sugar daddies want intimacy and there’s nothing wrong with that!

If I’m going to be your sugar daddy then it isn’t all about money… it’s about mentorship, friendship and chemistry! Too many young women nowadays want to have a sugardaddy as an accessory. They’re looking for a conversation piece so they can brag to their friends and show off all the luxury handbags and shoes he bought them… there’s a term for that and the French have nailed it with “Put Du Luxe” which simply means Luxury Whore. Yep a whore for clothes, shoes and handbags! Don’t believe me? Go to seekingarrangement dot com and you’ll get the picture.

If the chemistry is good on an initial meet up then some sugarbabies are quick to get intimate so that an arrangement can commence. God bless the women who don’t waste time. If I’m going to be shelling out $5K per month then I gotta make sure there’s good chemistry in the bedroom… does that make me a “John” or a slpendadaddy? NO! it doesn’t… It makes me a smart, cautious and selective man. Why would I go into the AUDI showroom and buy the first car I see without test driving it? Silly silly SB’s just don’t get it!

The sugar dating world has become overwrought with all sorts of professional escorts, johns, catfish, splendadadies, time wasters and a bunch of women who have absolutely zero intention of actually meeting & starting an “arrangement”. All they’re really doing is simply passing the time and seeing what all this media buzz is about. There’s also a lotta grifters and scam artists out there who prey on desperate wealthy men which is disgusting!

Remember this one simple fact when you’re on your soapbox about how important you are and how you “deserve” to be treated like a princess and you “know your worth”… That’s delusional entitlement. There’s a lil thing called odds and these odds are in the sugardaddy’s favor… EIGHT TO ONE! Numbers don’t lie! We have the money, power and experience which younger women crave and adore. Just because you’re a pretty lil 19 year old thang doesn’t mean that you deserve $10,000.00 a month. Have a brain in your head. Have something to say other than “Gimmiedat” and “Gimmiethis”… That’s not hot. If you’re a real sugarbaby then you will act like a lady and not a spoiled rotten little brat!

To finish my silly rant… This is DATING! Treat it as such and see if there’s genuine chemistry before you start hitting us daddies up for an allowance. It’s not only rude but also a huge turn off and extremely pushy.

Have a pleasant day… unless you’ve got other plans.

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Milly May 20, 2017

I have a pot who is insistent we meet at his house for our first meeting for our arrangement bc of his baby mama he’s separated with and trying to keep it “civil”. I told him to met in public the first time and he seemed unsure. I again asked him where would be the best place to met he again said his house and questioned if anything between is would go further as in physical I assumed. I said no. We were only making a arrangement and warming up to each other. He said well you know I need the physical stuff. I said I understood but it’s our first time meeting I wouldn’t feel comfortable and if was meant to work out that way it will eventually happen but not right away. I feel like he’s putting pressure on me already when I haven’t even met him but it will end shortly if he’s too focused on trying to get physical with me before I feel comfortable getting to know him.

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Rukiya May 22, 2017

but why can’t I login

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I need some help with getting that sugar daddy that is going to give me allowance an help me an I’m not getting any luck all I find is these fake me that want relationship an marriage an not want to be a sugar daddy to spoil me

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Betty June 22, 2017

Hi Caitlin!
So, I’m new to this and I already made a lot of mistakes.
Firt of all, I take a nude picture and send it to two older man. Not of my face but still. I didn’t feel really comfortable with this but I tend to give in easily.
I have been talking to them just a few days and the nude pic ocurred on the first day for one of them.
Both live in another states and they plan to visit me in one month and the other in two.
I can assume that beacause they’re businessman they have limited time. So my question is this:
How many dates I can wait to have sex with them? Beacause they told they want to and that doesn’t really displease me (that’s the reason I’m on this site). I just don’t want they have the wrong impression of me. That they take me for granted and not be paid well.
And another thing, neither of them still sends me money and I do not want to be the one who puts it on the table. I guess it’s still early but please, I want some tips to get an advance arrangement. I know I sound a little selfish but one of the reasons is to be able to buy nice clothes and look pretty for them.
Please, help me.

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