And we can’t blame them – of course, sensationalized stories get more eyeballs and clicks (and more ad revenue). But when you’re a new sugar baby just dipping her toes into the sugar world for the first time, these myths can be really misleading and even outright harmful, especially if you use them as information to guide you in your sugar journey.
Sure, some of these sugar baby portrayals can be accurate – there are sugar babies like that out there – but our problem with it is that it ignores the vast array of sugar babies who actually make up this scene. For every much-publicized Anna Nicole Smith type of sugar baby, there’s a quiet law school student who’s been successfully sugar-ing for years.
And we want to bring you the undertold truths about being a sugar baby that the media leaves out. So if you’re a new sugar baby entering the sugar bowl for the first time, here are some myths that you need to ignore!
Between the brightly smiling blondes featured in sugar daddy advertisements and the younger-than-thou sugar babes profiled in the media, you might already have an idea of what the ideal sugar baby looks like. The media loves to broadcast an image of the sugar baby as this polished, pretty, often bleached-blonde girl dressed to the nines in the latest designer clothes.
This is far from accurate.
Whereas that look might ring true for a few sugar babies, it is in no way representative of most of us. And that’s a damn good thing.
Sugar daddies represent a diverse population of men – men with various tastes and preferences when it comes to women. For every sugar daddy who wants a designer blonde, there’s going to be another who prefers a wild redhead. Or a bookish brunette. Or a vegan hippie type. Or a pixie type. Or a curvy knockout. Or a…you get the picture.
So lose the belief that there is such a thing as the “perfect sugar baby” and focus on knowing what you have to offer.
Occasionally, we come across an article about the life of sugar babies. And we can’t help but laugh at how much those articles – and most of the comments – are entirely missing the point.
The media loves to focus on the sexual part of the sugar dating relationship, which can be pretty misleading for new sugar babies, even leading some new sugar babies to believe that it’s okay to have sex with a potential sugar daddy on the first date (by the way, it’s not – don’t do that!).
Which is why we need to clarify this point: sex is not why sugar daddies want sugar babies. Of course, sex is important for most people but if sex was the main thing sugar daddies were after, there are easier, cheaper methods for getting it. Plus, there are some sugar relationships that are and remain totally platonic.
Because the truth is: Successful sugar relationships are built on connection, not sex. If your sugar daddy doesn’t care about you as a person, the relationship and the benefits won’t last.
In order to make a sugar relationship work, a sugar baby needs to bring a lot more to the table than sex. You need to be good at figuring out how he’s feeling and what he needs, whether he says it or not. You need to be a maverick of transforming criticism into positive reinforcement. You need to be damn good at balancing boundaries with emotional intimacy.
And most importantly, you guys just have to get on as people because at the core of every successful sugar relationship is a friendship.
The worst of the media myths about sugar babies and sugar dating in general is that the sugar relationship boils down to a transaction between power and beauty or between money and sex and this cannot be further from the truth.
As much as the media makes it out like it’s a simple transaction for money and sex, every successful sugar baby will tell you that it’s about much, much more. Money may be the original goal for some sugar babies and sex may be the original goal for some sugar daddies but sugar dating, mutually beneficial arrangements…whatever you want to call them, they are first and foremost relationships.
And like all relationships, things like trust, respect, communication, understanding and honesty matter. So treat your sugar daddy well and demand the same treatment from him. The transactional mentality won’t get you far in the sugar world – it may make you a few bucks but if it’s a successful sugar relationship you’re after, do yourself a favor and go for the sweet spot of finding a sugar daddy you actually like spending time who has the means to be your sugar daddy.